forgot to share this one ...
"the other day I ..." had to get up in the ceiling to remove an old bit of lecky cable that was used to service a ceiling fan that was no more.
As I disappeared into the darkened man, uh, "person" hole, I said to LSCP something like
"obviously I've seen the ALIEN series of movies too many times, coz this is always the bit that gets me nervous"
She responded with "why ?" (obvious code for "WTF is he on about now ?"
"coz when you lift a manhole cover in the ceiling and cautiously put your head inside, THAT'S WHEN YOU FIND YOUR SELF FACE TO FACE WITH AN EVIL LOOKING DOUBLE JAWED ACID BLEEDING MONSTER, THAT'S WHY !"
"yes dear, whatever you reckon, dear".
Anyhoo, now suitably encouraged, I put my whole head inside and the rest of my clumsy flesh soon followed suit and I proceeded to crawl through the dusty roof space with a little metal torch held in my mouth.
Deem buckets of ALIEN type drool pouring out of my mouth on either side of the torch and much dust induced ALIEN type breathing, included.
With various scenes from ALIENS still going through my mind (including the thkkk,thkkk,thkkk sound of the proximity scanner) I approached my target.
The drool covered torch flicked its light over what appeared to be a discarded ALIEN skin.
Wait, what ?
whew, was only a piece of insulation blown out of place by a strong wind under the eaves.
Behind the roof joist behind it, a strange dark form came into view.
Wait, what ?
another bit of blown around insulation ?
no, it didn't look quite right.
So I aimed my mouth towards it only to have the torch light flash back a pair of wide green eyes.
Torch wildly thudded to the ceiling.
Plume of choking dust kicks up to thuddingly blind and wildly choke me.
eyes on strange dark form silently race towards me ...
the cry of "mummy !" is shrilled followed by a hasty "litany against fear"
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
strange dark form silenty races past me to who knows where.
Yes, it was the bloody cat from next door that regularly shows up on our security cameras as it keeps to its beat around our place.
What is more, it was having a snooze exactly in the spot where a 3m by 2m section of failing ceiling fell down the other year just as we arrived home and slammed the car door.
Oh well, what goes around comes around.
We scared it enough to bring the ceiling down the other year, and it finally got its revenge.
I wonder how long it has been waiting to do that ?
Oh, and after I got back down from the roof space, what should LSCP present me with ?
Yup, one of those torch thingies in a headband wot attaches to your head.
sigh.
regarDS