Real deal Big Brother 2013 audition tips

Sonia Kruger was out doing media rounds this morning and confirmed the audition tour dates for Big Brother 2013. They are:

• Perth – Thursday, April 4
• Melbourne – Saturday, April 6 and Sunday April 7
• Adelaide – Thursday, April 11
• Sydney – Saturday, April 13 and Sunday April 14
• Newcastle – Tuesday, April 16
• Brisbane – Saturday, April 20
• Gold Coast – Sunday, April 21

Are you in Hobart? Too bad! You’ve been shafted from the tour in favour of Newcastle. But you’re able to send in a video audition instead (as is anyone more than 500km from an audition city).

Everyone needs to register online first, but before you do that take a read through our real deal audition tips. What should you do? What should you say? Should you even bother? Read on!

The whole “anyone can be on the show” thing

Oh, they only just say this because it’s a nice marketing phrase. The truth is only a small proportion of people have a chance of getting in. Harsh but true, and who says you can’t do your best to play up to what they want?

Just be freaking normal

Back in 2001 if you came to an audition with bright blue hair or were a dominatrix you were a shoe-in. Now it’s the opposite. Sure, last year had the virgin geek and the bitchy gay guy, but for the most part the rest of the house was vastly plain.

DO NOT show up to auditions in a giant elmo costume or something equally ‘outrageous’. This will hurt your chances!

Be young and white, but not too young

Statistically if you’re 18-20 there’s a good chance you won’t be cast, which is ironic because the majority of people who audition are this age. The sweet spot is 21-29. If you’re older then your chances plummet again.

Be white*, middle class and in an office or hospitality job, or be a full time student.

In other words, just be “safe” for family friendly TV.

(* Since there was a slight uproar in 2012 about the entire cast being white there’s a chance producers will specifically be casting people with dark skin in 2013).

Be agreeable and extroverted…

One of the most important tips – producers want happy, extroverted people who will go along with whatever they say. This means you have no qualms about jumping in a pool of mud immediately on their command.

If your natural reaction to a talking fish is to say “this is stupid” and not have a conversation back, you won’t get on Big Brother.

Remember at all times: in exchange for your 15 minutes of fame you sell your soul to the show producers. For 86 days they tell you what to do, what time to get up, when to eat and when to go to bed. After you leave the house you’re told where to make appearances, who to speak with and what your schedule will be.

You need to demonstrate to the producers that you’re willing to do this, which means being really active in their group ‘games’ and discussions plus by working well with others in your audition group.

If you give the slightest hint you can’t deal with being their TV slave, Big Brother is not for you and you’ll be shown the door.

… but be gossipy too

80% of Big Brother footage is housemates gossiping about each other. Make it known you’re not opposed to being bitchy sometimes.

Scrub your social media profiles

Before you register give ALL of your online profiles a quick scrub down so they are PG friendly. If you progress towards the later audition stages you’ll be asked to hand over your Facebook username and password.

Remember – scrub ALL of your profiles. Last year after Estelle went into the house some particularly embarrassing photos and homophobic comments made by her online surfaced.

For the guys…

You don’t need a six pack but you need to have muscles and be reasonable buff. It helps if you are a charmer and could fit into the category of fantasy boyfriend for 13 year old girl or eye candy for 40 year old housewife.

Walking around shirtless will come naturally to you but DO NOT show up at auditions shirtless. That is just tacky. Pop on a tight v-neck shirt instead.

For the girls…

You need to be naturally pretty and again be comfortable walking around in a bikini and spend a lot of the day sunbathing. Tell the producers you’re open to having a relationship in the house. Your chances of getting in are much higher if you’re single.

What are your tips? Let us know in the comments below and join us in our unofficial Big Brother discussion forums.