Uplate is back for another year. Mike has a very lame intro, with him waving to the crowd. However, the crowd is blatantly the launch crowd on Saturday night, and there is obviously no crowd in the studio. Cue the credits after Mike reveals it’s all a joke. Mike welocmes us to the show proper after the credits, tells us that Uplate will be huge this year with $280,000 to give away. As usual, they’ll have uplate updates as well as the brainteasers. Set has changed a bit. He has a green couch to sit on, and it’s similar to the couch Gretel had (in shape) on the eviction stage last year. We cut straight to the action anyway, which is good to see. And the first shot, I kid you not, is of Christie’s boob. They are putting one of those rubber little things on it, that once turned inside out, can pop upwards at any time. I’m sorry, I don’t know what they are called. Michelle tries it next, and finally so does Geneva. Geneva complains that it bloody hurt though. They want Kate to do it, but Kate explains that she doesn’t think she is getting her gear off at all in the house, so she won’t be doing this game tonight.
We cut back to Mike who virtually sends us straight to a clip of the launch shows best bits. After that, it’s time for the brainteasers to start for another year. Same format, same phone number. Now, it’s time to head back to the lounge. They are still trying to get Kate to try the popper thing. They say they will do it in the bedroom away from the boys. Kate says that all of AUstralia would still see. Smart one this girl! Topic moves onto farting, and whether you should walk away if you think you have one coming on. Apparently Nelson is the biggest farter amongst them all. Gianna thinks that big burps are disgusting. Logan is seen laughing with Glenn now as if they have known each other for years – he seems to be settling in very well. Michelle starts telling a story about when a guy picked her up to carry her somewhere, as he was picking her up, she heard a fart come out. She says she was laughing for hours about it. Michelle then explains that her ex used to be really into the protein shakes, and that would cause the farting. She says it was terrible. It would seem that Logan, Glenn, Hotdogs, Gianna, Geneva and also Christie are all there around the couches. First comm break of the night.
12:04am: Mike is back, and it’s time for a clue in the teaser. Back to the house then though and we are still at the couch. But then head out to the spa. Tim is there, not in the spa, but within ear of it, while Michael, Nelson, Constance and Angela are all in the spa. Dean looks as if he’s in the pool. They seem to be discussing people who don’t earn much money or something. Nelson changes the subject perhaps, I’m unsure, by saying that if he say someone doing drugs, he would almost just go and tell the cops. He hates the thought of people doing drugs. Tim starts giving his view, but is quickly imterrupted again by Nelson who says that his Mum reckons that every homeless person has a mental illness. Mike cuts in quickly, runs through the clue, then shows us Angela’s clip package from the launch to see us out to the break.
12:19am: Mike is on the couch of course. No more calls for the teaser please. Craps on about absolutely nothing for a bit, before returning us to the house. Hot Dogs is telling the house that he used to not eat for hours before going out so he could get smashed easier. One of the girls say that they had a friend who would fast all day before going out. Cut to the bedroom, Logan is washing his hands in the corner, and Christie looks like she has just got changed into her PJ’s. Logan comes back out to the kitchen, and just chills for a bit, leaning on the bench. Mike jumps in and Aaron is the first $1000 winner for the year. Before we head to the break, we see the clip package of Christie.
12:32am: Mike gives us the email addy to bombared Mike with emails. He then goes on to start the second brainteaser. Back to the house, and Tim is trying to get the hang of juggling at the moment. Glenn is trying to give him some pointers, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Someone yells out that they want a karaoke machine. Someone else says they wouldn’t get one because they couldn’t have the copyright to all that music. I think Gianna says they must have the rights to some songs, cause they have the dancefloor. She goes onto say that she doesn’t care if BB plays the same song over and over! They all start to wonder what they can do tomorrow. Hotdogs thinks some spa action might be the way to go. Cut to the spa, where they start talking about the Big BB, Kris Noble. Nelson tells them all he (BBB) has a really big TAG watch that he noticed during interviews. Constance says that she just wants her luggage back from BBB. Mike throws us to a break with a clip package of Constance.
12:45am: Second brainteaser is closed. Go back to the house and find Michael and Angela in the sauna. Michael says he doesn’t want to get too hot because then he’ll get all sweaty again and stink. He is however very pleased that his feet are starting to look alot healthier after not being on a rocky surface at his job for a few days. Flip back to Nelson and Constance in the spa. Constance is saying that they can tell who is playing the game when they get a mic fine, because the people who are playing the game are really angry to see ‘their’ money going down the tube. Geneva joins them, and is again complaining about her boob still hurting from the popper thing at the start of the show. They start talking about who they think Logan is after. They narrow it down to Gianna, Michelle and Christie. Nelson says that Logan should make up his mind, but ‘good luck to him.’ Mike cuts in, cause Cythnia is on the line and wins the second lot of cash for the night. Third game gets underway straight away. Back to the spa. Constance tells the other two that she really only has 3 friends who are girls. All the rest are guys. And with that, we see Dean’s clip package and are thrown to a break.
12:58am: Straight back to the house this time. LOts of people seem to be in the living room at the moment. Camera’s seem to be concentrated on Logan though. Mike cuts in with a clue for the third brainteaser. Someone is trying to juggle, but the camera still won’t get off Logan. Gianna asks Tim if he’s missing writing and typing etc because he’s a journo. He says a bit. Gianna says that she always reads the paper everyday. Cut to the spa now. Nelson is remembering one of the fights or rather arguments on the first night between Kate and Dean. Nelson can’t understand Kate’s point of view on that issue. Back inside, Christie is trying to pole dance. She isn’t very good at it at all. Apparently Gianna tried it a few minutes ago with better results. Christie decides she needs to heels to really give it a go. Angela is juggling now. Christie comes running back out saying she think she has lost her black shoes. Mike cuts in for the clue, and then cuts to Geneva’s clip package to lead to the break.
1:11am: Mikes plugs his own Friday night show back from the break, before telling us the brainteaser is closed and we can go back to the house. Dean is talking to Kate in the bedroom. Dean is saying how he really doesn’t sit down and really talk to any of the guys. Like he says hi and all that but there is no depth there. Dean says he wants evictions already. He says he loves Angela. Kate agrees. Dean says he expected a whole different set of people that are in the house. We are taken back to the couch, where Hotdogs is juggling, and getting pretty good at it. Tim is saying that he would like to learn Yoga while in the house. Christie starts complaining about her bruises. Gianna then decides to complain about the bread, and states that she won’t eat any of it tomorrow. Paula from Vic wins the third lot of money , the fourth is started, and the clip package to the break is of Gianna.
1:24am: Mike talks alot of crap at the start of this segment. Finaly gets to the teaser, and we’re back to the house. Constance and Nelson are still in the spa. Nelson is saying he doesn’t want to get into a debate with her. Nelson thinks she is a bit soft because of her opinion and views on drugs. Constance changes the subject, saying she thinks Christie is kinda cool. They both think Glenn is great. Constance tells Nelson to get his feet away from her. Constance asks him which state he thinks is the worst, remembering that Nelson loves Australia. He thinks about it and then says Victoria (WHAT!!!! no way :P) because it’s too cold. Christie agrees it is cold.Just then we switch the Logan in the imposter room and the phone is ringing. BB is trying to talk to him, but he’s sleeping through it! Back to the spa we go. Constance says that she once ran through Crown Casino in Melbourne because she saw Heath Ledger. Security eventually stopped her. Mike comes back on and we cut to Glenn’s clip package.
1:37am: Girls are in the bedroom. Geneva reveals that she has known friends for years, and yet just one day she can come to the realisation that she is actually really into them and wants them. SHe goes on to say that she hates it when guys act as if they are masters in the bedroom, and yet, once asked to perform, have no idea. She is asked when she first had sex, and she replied 16. Michelle tells her that she hasn’t had a heap of experience in the bedroom, and she’s 24. She isn’t comfortable in the bedroom, she doesn’t know exactly what she is meant to be doing she says. Brainteaser clue is given. It seems Hotdogs has fallen asleep in the bedroom while the girls keep talking. We go into the living room to see both Michael and Christie spining themselves around and around and around. The game is that you have to jump over cushions on the floor once they stop spinning. Christie jumps over them all alright, gets back to the start, then falls over. Michael doesn’t even try jumping, almost falling before he begins. Brain teaser is closed. Back to the bedroom we go. Hotdogs is awake again and says that Geneva must be the advertised ‘tri-sexual’. Geneva starts giving Glenn a massage, and so Christie gets into the action by giving Hotdogs one. Katie wins the last $1000 of the night after Mike cuts in, and at 1:57am, Dreamworld says goodnight.
Where’s Warren,
Dave