Columbo
Never again
Any other sites you did? I'm just doing it out of interest. I'm not expecting much.
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Online Dating
- Thread starter Columbo
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Any other sites you did? I'm just doing it out of interest. I'm not expecting much.
Nup. That's the extent of my online dating experience. Haha
Columbo
Never again
That doesn't sound very positive.
hooleydooley
Well-Known Member
OK, I will confess - My partner and I met on Telephone dating - in 2001! We are best friends, even though atm, we are not sure whether life will continue on in life, as a couple, together. 14 Years together.
We actually lived in the same suburb, and frequented the same places ... but never crossed paths, in the popular pubs and clubs that we both went to.
I think, dating sites are awesome. You can get it out there and say what you want and need and get the crap over and done with. You will know on meeting, if the person is right for you.
Good Luck
We actually lived in the same suburb, and frequented the same places ... but never crossed paths, in the popular pubs and clubs that we both went to.
I think, dating sites are awesome. You can get it out there and say what you want and need and get the crap over and done with. You will know on meeting, if the person is right for you.
Good Luck
I have tried a bit of online dating and so can give some comments.
I have used Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Tinder.
I really haven't ended up with a relationship from it though. I go through stages where I am active and not.
If I meet a woman in the real world and she agrees on a date, then I already know she has some interest and I do well. Online dating I think I am too guarded. I will meet up with a girl, find her attractive, get a long. Have good conversation and honestly not know whether I want to date them.
I know from dates I have met people and instantly not been interested but been nice and friendly. I also am someone who doesn't need to be in a relationship, so I think I am waiting to be wowed. Or kind of need a direct indication they are definitely interested. I don't play the bullshit games, when it comes to getting laid, I kind of get in the habbit of finding a casual partner where a relationship doesn't work out, but you still hang out from time to time. If you know what I mean. It's not healthy I am sure, but it means I am not obsessed with getting laid on these things.
I am also honest. On Okcupid, under some section about admitting something private. I wrote, 'I need to lose some weight' and have had no issues. I think it's been a benefit.
Things to be aware of, some girls use this as their social life, so realise some girls literally go on several dates a week. So there's no point getting attached. Some people aren't really looking. Or they want to be wowed.
Be expected for people to not look like their pictures.
I guess it's best to try and meet up quickly. You don't want to get into long back and forths. It's hard if you're like me and don't want to be chatting to 20 girls, lining up a date each night of the week. You want to kind of vet a little.
Funny I was doing this a year or two back on POF and while I didn't know it then, I was chatting to a forum member from here. She wasn't interested in chatting and so ended it after a few. More of a few messages then meet up. Ironically I believe she messaged me first and so clearly there was some interest from her, but my wanting to chat a bit was something she couldn't be bothered with. We may have figured out we like Big Brother, so who knows. The only reason I know she posts here is from her picture on here I saw later and for some reason remembered.
You have to remember girls on these sites get inundated with messages. Often just spamming the same generic messages, or changing a few minor things. Unless someones profile really stands out, I actually just wait for messages. Which is possibly the wrong approach, but I do get messages so it works for me.
I personally am not a fan of chatting to stacks of people at once.
I have only ever had one bad date, we just did not get a long and she was intent on arguing. Some how it got into her defending pitbull dogs as not being violent. Then we argued for ages about the year a night club we both used to go to opened. I was right by the way.
Otherwise all have been pleasant experiences. I really think my actually being a decent guy wanting to get to know someone and seeing if it works hinders me. I am also someone who has always had female friends and can be platonic. So I get a long too much in a friendly way. Not as charming as I would be, not as flirty if I met a girl and asked her on a date. It's a burden to actually see woman as people, but you I think do need an attitude that she already likes you to be charming and flirty. To make an impression.
There's also a need to if you meet up and like someone, be proactive and don't do things like wait a few days to message.
You have to be fine with accepting if you meet up and they are not interested. Also don't lie to not hurt feelings. Don't need to be 100% direct. If the girl gets pushy and you aren't keen. Just say, 'I had a nice time, but I just don't think there was enough chemistry' or something.
I've done it and had it done to me. Fake pretense, 'yeah we'll catch up soon' with no interest in it. There's no point to it.
Tinder is a tough one. Every girl on there claims they aren't looking to hook up, so I think it's essentially a dating app. I honestly don't like it as the interface is crap and you know literally nothing about them. People want to chat a little, but it's so hard to start from nothing. So it's worth being on there and isn't all about the 'casual sex' that the marketing hype claims it to be for.
Oh, something else, people lie. Things like body type and height. No one will claim to be thin if they aren't and you can't tell from the pictures. However they will use things like 'athletic' body type when they are not. Another odd one is height. I'm not tall, around 5'8. The amount of 5'8, 5'7 girls I have met who are taller than me. I actually now label myself as 5'7. I have nothing against taller people, my last serious girlfriend was 5'9 or 10 or something. It was just annoying on the dates as you expect one thing. So I figure this will discourage that and it seems to have.
I don't know what of value I said, but I said it.
I have used Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Tinder.
I really haven't ended up with a relationship from it though. I go through stages where I am active and not.
If I meet a woman in the real world and she agrees on a date, then I already know she has some interest and I do well. Online dating I think I am too guarded. I will meet up with a girl, find her attractive, get a long. Have good conversation and honestly not know whether I want to date them.
I know from dates I have met people and instantly not been interested but been nice and friendly. I also am someone who doesn't need to be in a relationship, so I think I am waiting to be wowed. Or kind of need a direct indication they are definitely interested. I don't play the bullshit games, when it comes to getting laid, I kind of get in the habbit of finding a casual partner where a relationship doesn't work out, but you still hang out from time to time. If you know what I mean. It's not healthy I am sure, but it means I am not obsessed with getting laid on these things.
I am also honest. On Okcupid, under some section about admitting something private. I wrote, 'I need to lose some weight' and have had no issues. I think it's been a benefit.
Things to be aware of, some girls use this as their social life, so realise some girls literally go on several dates a week. So there's no point getting attached. Some people aren't really looking. Or they want to be wowed.
Be expected for people to not look like their pictures.
I guess it's best to try and meet up quickly. You don't want to get into long back and forths. It's hard if you're like me and don't want to be chatting to 20 girls, lining up a date each night of the week. You want to kind of vet a little.
Funny I was doing this a year or two back on POF and while I didn't know it then, I was chatting to a forum member from here. She wasn't interested in chatting and so ended it after a few. More of a few messages then meet up. Ironically I believe she messaged me first and so clearly there was some interest from her, but my wanting to chat a bit was something she couldn't be bothered with. We may have figured out we like Big Brother, so who knows. The only reason I know she posts here is from her picture on here I saw later and for some reason remembered.
You have to remember girls on these sites get inundated with messages. Often just spamming the same generic messages, or changing a few minor things. Unless someones profile really stands out, I actually just wait for messages. Which is possibly the wrong approach, but I do get messages so it works for me.
I personally am not a fan of chatting to stacks of people at once.
I have only ever had one bad date, we just did not get a long and she was intent on arguing. Some how it got into her defending pitbull dogs as not being violent. Then we argued for ages about the year a night club we both used to go to opened. I was right by the way.
Otherwise all have been pleasant experiences. I really think my actually being a decent guy wanting to get to know someone and seeing if it works hinders me. I am also someone who has always had female friends and can be platonic. So I get a long too much in a friendly way. Not as charming as I would be, not as flirty if I met a girl and asked her on a date. It's a burden to actually see woman as people, but you I think do need an attitude that she already likes you to be charming and flirty. To make an impression.
There's also a need to if you meet up and like someone, be proactive and don't do things like wait a few days to message.
You have to be fine with accepting if you meet up and they are not interested. Also don't lie to not hurt feelings. Don't need to be 100% direct. If the girl gets pushy and you aren't keen. Just say, 'I had a nice time, but I just don't think there was enough chemistry' or something.
I've done it and had it done to me. Fake pretense, 'yeah we'll catch up soon' with no interest in it. There's no point to it.
Tinder is a tough one. Every girl on there claims they aren't looking to hook up, so I think it's essentially a dating app. I honestly don't like it as the interface is crap and you know literally nothing about them. People want to chat a little, but it's so hard to start from nothing. So it's worth being on there and isn't all about the 'casual sex' that the marketing hype claims it to be for.
Oh, something else, people lie. Things like body type and height. No one will claim to be thin if they aren't and you can't tell from the pictures. However they will use things like 'athletic' body type when they are not. Another odd one is height. I'm not tall, around 5'8. The amount of 5'8, 5'7 girls I have met who are taller than me. I actually now label myself as 5'7. I have nothing against taller people, my last serious girlfriend was 5'9 or 10 or something. It was just annoying on the dates as you expect one thing. So I figure this will discourage that and it seems to have.
I don't know what of value I said, but I said it.
Honest enough without spilling all your deep and dark secrets, depends on what you want, if you just wanna meet someone for a bit of fun, talk yourself up, if you wanna meet someone for something more, be more honest, don't lie, because you'll never last
Haha, I dunno. Some people really can't hold conversations at all. And people seem to lack basic memory skills. The amount of times I've had the same conversation with the same person with them thinking I'm a whole different person is ridiculous. Like, yeah, I may have changed my photo but it's not difficult to see that someone is the same person. Or maybe I just have a really good memory. I don't think so though.
Columbo
Never again
I hope I don't become guilty of that, because I probably have the worst memory ever.
jessy_girl
Well-Known Member
Omg I hate this. When I was like 16 or something I went on a date with this guy, I was really not into him at all but that's a different story. Anyway, he "confided" in me with some lame story and was like "I've never told this to anyone before" and proceeded to tell me a lame story about dying his hair red. Anyway, I saw him again a week later and he said the the exact same thing verbatim including the "I've never told this to anyone before" part. Umm buddy, you told me just a week ago, how many young girls are you telling this shitty story to, and for what possible benefit?
I do have a good memory, but come on, it was only a week later!!
That's so embarrassing!
Similarly, there was this one guy who was sort of half dating a friend of mine, and my friend told me everything that he would say, and that guy knew that I was being told everything. Anyway, sometime later he tried to start dating me and he literally said the same things to me. Like, he would say stuff like, "Oh everyone else I've been with has left me without any reason I'm just hated by everyone" but like I knew for a fact that my friend stopped dating him because he was being a complete dickhead? lol it was just so dumb
jessy_girl
Well-Known Member
Haha, seriously? Wow, yeah people can be weird. It makes me wonder about a lot of the stuff people say really.
Yeah, for sure. Not to sound paranoid, of course, haha!
I think online dating is a great thing. I really do think it's great way to meet people. But like others have said don't rely just on the typed out convos, in person it is different. You may not get a success out if it but I do think it helps with building your talking confidence because you come across so many different type of people.
Columbo
Never again
Do you mean that people might lie and lead you astray?
Yes.
Also... In person people are not as opened up and the charisma you read in the online convos does not always come across in the person the same way when face to face, example, they just came off sleazy and cheesy in person.
Columbo
Never again
Well I know all about liars. But I hope I won't come across as sleazy in person.