…Today’s episode:… oh dear… it’s looking like the first episode is all about Biggles… I mean Biggins in the promo… it’s looking like he cracks the shit’s during this episode so all isn’t so bad after all lol!... oh great!... it looks like there are links to the first two BOTS to go to on this episode too… woohoo!... Saira tells Frankie that he has a ‘cameltoe’ as he walks into the house… she asks… “what do they call it when a bloke has a cameltoe?”… without skipping a beat Frankie tells her “it’s a Mooseknuckle!”… hahahahahahaha!... funny!... (see!... I told you all that I was going to like Frankie didn’t I? 
... **ahem!**...
…they show all of the housemates upon their entrances into the house… that Rennee walks in and reveals that she had her arse done to look like it does… yesterday I was right when I wrote that!... haha!... what is it with Hollywoodians getting their arses made bigger on purpose?... I don’t get it at all… hers looks quite ridiculous if you ask me… Frankie has an orgasm when Aubrey O’Day walks into the house for some reason
… that ‘Bear’ guy is a full on wanker… an ex-husband of someone walks in… how does that make him a ‘celebrity’?... I ask once again… I’m baffled… Heavy D walks in lol!... I’m so going to like him because he will wear them all down pretty quickly methinks lol!... Samantha **growl** Fox is the last one to come in…
…they recap the ‘silent disco’ whereas Biggins is chosen as the ‘secret house boss’… **shut up Sticky… don’t say it!**… he is immune from the first eviction dammit!... that ‘shock jock’ guy wants out of the house already because he knows that he’s so bloody boring!... he just wants to get his fee and do the runner the idiot… Biggins' laugh sounds so fake doesn’t it?... Marnie tells the ex-husband guy that he’s “pretty sexy for a 55 year old guy”… he actually believes it too!...
…all of the ‘young things’ chatting to each other in their own little group… talk about the ‘battle of the mental midgets’ lol!... Saira tells Biggins that she is ‘”seriously missing her kids” in order for him to nominate her for eviction!... well done girl!... Frankie is in the Diary Room… he says that he’s going to be as obnoxious as he can to Biggins so as to be nominated and then saved… haha!... golly gosh I like Frankie… no seriously… I really do!... he’s… erm… ‘adorable’… yes that’s it!... he’s adorable…. Um… yeah!...
…Marnie and Lewis are ‘bonding’… is that Big Brother talk for they’re having foreplay?... James is ‘winding up’ Saira… wow!... it seems that Saira is a fiery little thing as I thought yesterday lol!... Bumbling Biggins goes to the Diary Room…(jeez Biggins!... for crying out loud don’t let that dressing gown expose your body to us again PLEASE!)... (I might need therapy now!
)... he doesn’t know it but all of the housemates are listening to what Big Brother is telling him… he has to give whoever it is that he’s nominating “a big fat sloppy kiss on the lips” to whoever he has chosen to go and tell them “I hope that I’m as famous as you one day!” also…
…oh bloody hell!... some of them are talking about “playing the game”… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!... don’t get me started!... grrrrrr!... Marnie asks Saira whether or not she has masturbated lol!... Biggins picks Saira by kissing her on the lips… (I guess he thinks that he’s ‘sending her home to her kids’ so he’s probably doing it with the best intentions I guess?)… damn!... I so wanted to dislike him too!...
…some of the ‘young things’ get into the pool… Heavy D joins them… just as well he didn’t ‘bomb’ the pool otherwise it would’ve been instantly emptied!... Big Brother gets all of the housemates together and reveals that Saira was the first person picked for eviction… they are told that the ‘secret boss’ will be making more decisions on who is going too… and now they are all talking about ‘playing the game’ again… grrrrr!... Bumbling Biggins is in the Diary Room and is telling Big brother that one of the ‘beautiful boys’ will be next… (Lewis/Bear or Frankie)… apparently he has ‘had enough’ of ‘beautiful people’… really Biggins?... pfffffff!... what a flimsy excuse!...
…hahahahaha!... Heavy D has broken his bed because of his weight… he cannot stop laughing… he’s like a little kid that just did something wrong and can only see the funny side of it lol!... I must say that I really like Saira and Heavy D so far… oh!... and Frankie of course!... I can’t forget me ol’mate Frankie can I?... I… I like him!... yeah!... he’s… great!... haha!.. you really don’t believe me do you?... lol!...end of show… cheers.


…they show all of the housemates upon their entrances into the house… that Rennee walks in and reveals that she had her arse done to look like it does… yesterday I was right when I wrote that!... haha!... what is it with Hollywoodians getting their arses made bigger on purpose?... I don’t get it at all… hers looks quite ridiculous if you ask me… Frankie has an orgasm when Aubrey O’Day walks into the house for some reason

…they recap the ‘silent disco’ whereas Biggins is chosen as the ‘secret house boss’… **shut up Sticky… don’t say it!**… he is immune from the first eviction dammit!... that ‘shock jock’ guy wants out of the house already because he knows that he’s so bloody boring!... he just wants to get his fee and do the runner the idiot… Biggins' laugh sounds so fake doesn’t it?... Marnie tells the ex-husband guy that he’s “pretty sexy for a 55 year old guy”… he actually believes it too!...
…all of the ‘young things’ chatting to each other in their own little group… talk about the ‘battle of the mental midgets’ lol!... Saira tells Biggins that she is ‘”seriously missing her kids” in order for him to nominate her for eviction!... well done girl!... Frankie is in the Diary Room… he says that he’s going to be as obnoxious as he can to Biggins so as to be nominated and then saved… haha!... golly gosh I like Frankie… no seriously… I really do!... he’s… erm… ‘adorable’… yes that’s it!... he’s adorable…. Um… yeah!...
…Marnie and Lewis are ‘bonding’… is that Big Brother talk for they’re having foreplay?... James is ‘winding up’ Saira… wow!... it seems that Saira is a fiery little thing as I thought yesterday lol!... Bumbling Biggins goes to the Diary Room…(jeez Biggins!... for crying out loud don’t let that dressing gown expose your body to us again PLEASE!)... (I might need therapy now!


…oh bloody hell!... some of them are talking about “playing the game”… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!... don’t get me started!... grrrrrr!... Marnie asks Saira whether or not she has masturbated lol!... Biggins picks Saira by kissing her on the lips… (I guess he thinks that he’s ‘sending her home to her kids’ so he’s probably doing it with the best intentions I guess?)… damn!... I so wanted to dislike him too!...
…some of the ‘young things’ get into the pool… Heavy D joins them… just as well he didn’t ‘bomb’ the pool otherwise it would’ve been instantly emptied!... Big Brother gets all of the housemates together and reveals that Saira was the first person picked for eviction… they are told that the ‘secret boss’ will be making more decisions on who is going too… and now they are all talking about ‘playing the game’ again… grrrrr!... Bumbling Biggins is in the Diary Room and is telling Big brother that one of the ‘beautiful boys’ will be next… (Lewis/Bear or Frankie)… apparently he has ‘had enough’ of ‘beautiful people’… really Biggins?... pfffffff!... what a flimsy excuse!...
…hahahahaha!... Heavy D has broken his bed because of his weight… he cannot stop laughing… he’s like a little kid that just did something wrong and can only see the funny side of it lol!... I must say that I really like Saira and Heavy D so far… oh!... and Frankie of course!... I can’t forget me ol’mate Frankie can I?... I… I like him!... yeah!... he’s… great!... haha!.. you really don’t believe me do you?... lol!...end of show… cheers.