Dear Channel Nine...

...FUCK YOU CHANNEL 9!... (it's just been a while since I've said it that's all... it just needed to be said)... oh!... and by the way... Channel 9 I still hate your guts!... cheers. :mad:👊🤬
 
Dear Channel 9,

Whilst watching Googlebox I happen to come across your show 'Married at First Sight'. You seem to treat the concept of love as well as you treated Big Brother. That is to say with complete and utter fucking contempt. I can't wait to Netflix buries you once and for all you basketcase of bigotry.

From get fucked cunts.
 
11 PM.

Let me just put that piece of time there. Notice how its not 9:30pm?

Channel 9 represent the amalgamation of laziness, commitment issues, the old woman that talks too much at the shops but you are too polite to walk away from (Minus the politeness) and of course Scott Cam.

SURVIVOR. Lets say I'm a very big fan. Although exciting, the AUS edition just doesn't give me the experience I am looking for. When channel 9 air US Survivor and say it's at 9:30, I was happy. I was quite contempt with sitting through their weirdly placed advert schedule so I can watch it. And then the dreaded words came to my ears.

11 PM.

11 FUCKING PM.

For what? So channel Nine can show their shitty show The Big Bong Theory or some shit???? Why in the name of God's great and bountiful earth would anybody want to watch that shit??

DO THEY NOT REALISE THAT PEOPLE NEED TO SLEEP???? So in response, I'm positioned to watch it on the JumpIn clone: NineNow or whatever. Yeah, because shitty resolutions, terrible interface and the pop-up ads telling me to remove my Adblocker so I have to sit through 40 centuries of advertising being forcibly deepthroated into my esophagus make me feel really welcome. I'd rather sit in complete silence looking at my face on a black screen than watch the dogshit attempts at advertising.

Nine Now? More like Nine Never.

Whilst we're on the subject of ClickBaiting, Channel Nine News is trash. It is not journalism. When I last watched, I felt like I would get better news coverage from a broken clock. I feel like I'm reading a buzzfeed article with all the baiting headlines such as: "MAN FOUND IN RIVER, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE WAS DOING" and "HERE'S 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL OF SPAM"

rant done. thanks for listening
 
BigBrotherCritic said:
11 PM.

Let me just put that piece of time there. Notice how its not 9:30pm?

Channel 9 represent the amalgamation of laziness, commitment issues, the old woman that talks too much at the shops but you are too polite to walk away from (Minus the politeness) and of course Scott Cam.

SURVIVOR. Lets say I'm a very big fan. Although exciting, the AUS edition just doesn't give me the experience I am looking for. When channel 9 air US Survivor and say it's at 9:30, I was happy. I was quite contempt with sitting through their weirdly placed advert schedule so I can watch it. And then the dreaded words came to my ears.

11 PM.

11 FUCKING PM.

For what? So channel Nine can show their shitty show The Big Bong Theory or some shit???? Why in the name of God's great and bountiful earth would anybody want to watch that shit??

DO THEY NOT REALISE THAT PEOPLE NEED TO SLEEP???? So in response, I'm positioned to watch it on the JumpIn clone: NineNow or whatever. Yeah, because shitty resolutions, terrible interface and the pop-up ads telling me to remove my Adblocker so I have to sit through 40 centuries of advertising being forcibly deepthroated into my esophagus make me feel really welcome. I'd rather sit in complete silence looking at my face on a black screen than watch the dogshit attempts at advertising.

Nine Now? More like Nine Never.

Whilst we're on the subject of ClickBaiting, Channel Nine News is trash. It is not journalism. When I last watched, I felt like I would get better news coverage from a broken clock. I feel like I'm reading a buzzfeed article with all the baiting headlines such as: "MAN FOUND IN RIVER, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE WAS DOING" and "HERE'S 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL OF SPAM"

rant done. thanks for listening
Click to expand...

...I have to say BigBrotherCritic... this rant of yours is truly great to read... colour me impressed!... I mean... I like to have a good rant at times (strangely it's usually about Channel 9 too) but this one is brilliant!... lol!... kudos to your 'rantabilty' my friend... lol!... Channel 9 treats it's viewers with sheer utter contempt... I actually think that they HATE their viewers... and don't get me started on Karl Stiffynodick and Snott Cam... grrrrrrrrrrr!... cheers.
 
Gosh, that William Shatner Roast! That was must see TV, I can see why they'd want to replay that ahead of a current fast-tracked season of Survivor! It was so old it was in a square format. Farrah Fawcett was still alive in it. I thought it must be from 1986, but it turns out it was made in 2006 according to the end credits. Bet that was a ratings bonanza for them. IDIOTS.

I actually sat up and watched the ep of Survivor. But next week, again?

ARSEHOLES.
 
In SA we got two episodes, compensating for the day the power was off and the footy grand final night shenanigans. The first one started after 11pm (I hope, I just left it recording). It's way too late.
 
Dear Channel 9,

Last night I dreamt I was a butterfly. Does this mean I am going to win the lottery?

From Confused.
 
Gather around children. Its story time. This one is called: "11:30pm. Because 11:00pm wasn't late enough."

PREVIOUSLY ON RANT:
BigBrotherCritic said:
11 FUCKING PM.
Click to expand...
BigBrotherCritic said:
Nine Now? More like Nine Never.
Click to expand...

Before this novel writes itself. I'd like to throw around some words that I don't like.
  • Channel 9
  • Hangover; the
  • Channel 9
  • Moist
  • Big Bang Theory
  • Comedy Roast
  • Channel 9
  • Channel 9
  • Survivor being shown after 9:30
And I thought Big Bang Theory was bad enough. So when @Melore notified me in the "Survivor Season 33" thread that when Channel Nine may have finally come to their senses and stopped showing the "MUST SEE" comedy roasts due to lack of viewers, I was contempt. I mean obviously there's not much of a market anymore for Analog TV style black bars on all of our wide screen tvs. But then I read on...
Melore said:
It will now replay the 2009 movie The Hangover.
Click to expand...

The Hangover.

The fucking Hangover

Once more for the people in the back. The Hangover.

So instead of watching Survivor like Australia should be, nono, I have to wait until not 11:00. BUT 11;30!!! Because of the HANGOVER????!

And I thought 11:00pm was bad!

Have Nine forgotten that they own a second channel?? What happened to it being on GO every thursday? Did they really want to compete with Channel 10 so much that they made die hard survivor fans stay up to the unholy hour of 11:30pm.

And as if I'm going to watch it on their complimentary 50x60 pixel screen on their NineNow website, buffering every 45.6 femtoseconds. I laughed at the polite message to turn off my AdBlocker. Yeah right, because I haven't had enough of being forcibly deepthroated ads when I turn on my TV.

Fuck. You. Channel. Nine.
 
I remember when I first shifted to Aussie I wanted to watch the amazing race and the same thing happened. I even saw an ad that said it was on at prime time viewing... since when has 11pm been prime time??? The beginning of the end of me trusting any TV channel in this country!
 
Previously in this thread I have known to get very angry (see the above rants, both of which I am very proud of). For once I'd like to compliment them by saying that their showing of Survivor this season has been lovely and their improved 9Now catchup TV system works better than most channels'.
 
BigBrotherCritic said:
Previously in this thread I have known to get very angry (see the above rants, both of which I am very proud of). For once I'd like to compliment them by saying that their showing of Survivor this season has been lovely and their improved 9Now catchup TV system works better than most channels'.
Click to expand...

The Hangover rant is quite a piece of literature.

Yes, NINE have finally done good.
 
BigBrotherCritic said:
Previously in this thread I have known to get very angry (see the above rants, both of which I am very proud of). For once I'd like to compliment them by saying that their showing of Survivor this season has been lovely and their improved 9Now catchup TV system works better than most channels'.
Click to expand...

Meglos said:
The Hangover rant is quite a piece of literature.

Yes, NINE have finally done good.
Click to expand...

...it makes you wonder if one of the dumb-arsed fucksticks from Channel 9 are actually reading this thread at last doesn't it?... but!... I doubt it somehow... there's nobody of enough intelligence in the hierarchy of the Channel employees there to actually digest what we are requesting methinks!... so... if that is most likely... FUCK YOU CHANNEL 9!... and just in case you've forgotten... Channel 9 I still hate your guts!... cheers. :mad:👊🤬
 
...aaaaah!... yes!... it's been quite a while since I've done a Karl Stiffynodick rant so what the hell eh?... let's get it rolling eh?... it starts with his Schapelle Corby 'rant' the other day... here it is in all of its glory...


...hahaha!... as much as I agree that her story since her release is not News of any kind at all I do have to say that this self-servicing 'rant' of Stiffynodick's is just so pathetic that it is beyond comprehension... the fact that he has no credibility as a serious journalist whatsoever anymore but he still clings to the hollow belief that he's anything of journalistic value anymore is just so laughable to me... hence the reason that his sideshow bomb with 'The Verdict' crashed and burned so quickly last year... he is just not taken seriously anymore... he is in effect... 'old News'...

...I find it hilarious that Channel 9 still pays him squillions of dollars to keep this imbecile going... oh!... but I forgot!... Karl's part of the Channel 9 'boys club' isn't he?... silly me!... the thing is... that so-called 'rant' of Stiffynodick's just seemed so orchestrated to me just to make HIMSELF sound so 'important' once again... face it Karl... you're a rapidly fading 'star'... your attempt to regain any form of credibility with 'The Verdict' proved that with such abysmal ratings that it is no longer back on again this year... isn't that telling you something Karl?... on this link below...

http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...h/news-story/e5b2ac1f22a60d0ed428244719c960e0

...the journalist that is talking about Stiffynodick's 'rant' said three key points... those being...

"As a seasoned reporter and host, Stefanovic has every right to editorialise on the story of the day. That he did so in a scripted piece to camera delivered with such superiority raises several possibilities:

1. He wanted to make himself the story.

2. He’s contemptuous of his colleagues, bosses and — more critically — his audience.

3. He is now heartily sick of populist television and is angling for a job at the ABC.?


...I have to say that I agree with all three of them... especially #1... that's what it was all about as far as I'm concerned... Stiffynodick has no relevance anymore... people do not take him serious at all... his quickly flying over to France etc when those bombs were going off were a desperate attempt by him to regain journalistic 'credibility' back once again... it was a complete failure on all fronts... he had no need to be there in the first place... they had dozens of reporters covering it already... why did he need to be there?...

...moving on and back to present day... when Schapelle Corby posted this video up... that's what pissed Stiffynodick off so much...


...she had completely duped the media and his immense ego just couldn't handle it which in turn sparked his outrage as far as I'm concerned... in other words... he chucked a massive tanty!... so Karl old son... you've lost whatever 'magic' that Channel 9 saw in you all of those years ago old son... you are of no relevance anymore... simple as that!... in this article on this website below...

http://www.bandt.com.au/media/karl-set-quit-today

...it suggests that the 'New Idea' article that sparked it suggested that Karl wants to leave the 'Today Show' and wants to report from the USA within the future... (let's face it... New Idea' never lies does it? ;)👍😆😄)... ha!... we're not THAT lucky!... lol!... although... could Karl be realising himself that his days are numbered in Australia now?... (fingers crossed)... lol!... regardless... Lisa Wilkinson (I love her) carries the 'Today Show'... Karl hangs on like a leech and won't let go... apparently he makes 2.5 million a year compared to Lisa's 'paltry' 1 million a year according to this website below...

http://www.mamamia.com.au/the-outrageous-today-show-pay-gap/

...all that I can say to Channel 9 is that you have it the wrong way around you idiots!... oh that's right... Lisa's a female... she can't be in the Channel 9 'boys club' can she?... silly old me yet again!... anyhow... after all of that babbling on I might close this post with...

...Channel 9... you really do need to let Karl Stiffynodick toddle off into the sunset guys... he is so irrelevant anymore... I used to tolerate him until he won a Gold Logie but it was a downward spiral from that moment onwards when his immense ego came to the fore... it just grew and grew and GREW!... do it for the good of all of us!... PLEASE!... anyway... that's all from me now but!... I have to say it yet again... by the way... Channel 9 I still hate your guts!... cheers. :mad:👊🤬











 
Dear Channel 9, congrats on forcing your most popular presenter Lisa Wilkinson to quit your network and the today show to go join channel 10 on The Project in regards to her not getting the same fucking pay as her co host Karl Stiffynodick. There is definitely a boys club running at channel 9. http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...n/news-story/33aff9d9664ec23bfb21383886c7bd49 . No wonder people don't like your network because it's a well known boys club especially the head honcho's of the network being good mates with Stiffynodick and other channel 9 boys club members e.g. Scott Cam from The Block. Also I hate you as well Channel 9. Plus all of your shows are pretty shit anyway especially your favourite The Block.
 
Marco23 said:
Dear Channel 9, congrats on forcing your most popular presenter Lisa Wilkinson to quit your network and the today show to go join channel 10 on The Project in regards to her not getting the same fucking pay as her co host Karl Stiffynodick. There is definitely a boys club running at channel 9. http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...n/news-story/33aff9d9664ec23bfb21383886c7bd49 . No wonder people don't like your network because it's a well known boys club especially the head honcho's of the network being good mates with Stiffynodick and other channel 9 boys club members e.g. Scott Cam from The Block. Also I hate you as well Channel 9. Plus all of your shows are pretty shit anyway especially your favourite The Block.
Click to expand...

...hey Marco23... I just love your post my friend... and good on Lisa for moving to Channel 10 to join 'The Project'... that's bloody brilliant!... I may even start watching that show again now that Lisa has joined it... (I can't really stand Waleed or Carrie) but I love Peter Hellier on the show... and... it'll be great to watch Lisa again because I haven't seen her for about 2 years since I stopped watching Channel 9 because of Stiffynodick and Scott Cam and Tim Gilbert so I've missed her to be honest... I'm so happy about her doing this!...

...and what a bunch of fuggin' sad losers Channel 9 are eh?... she's about the only person on that piss-poor network that could actually be classified as a 'star' that still has any credibility whatsoever... their stable of what they class as 'celebrities' is now the 'low bar' that the other networks should never reach as far as I'm concerned... Kerry Packer is probably turning in his grave with what is happening to his once glorious beloved network lol!... oh how the once mighty has fallen eh?...

...if anyone from that shit infested network ever read this thread perhaps you should take it to those dipshits that run that putrid clusterfuck of a network and tell them to take note on what we're saying... you never know... it might actually help you to drag Channel 9 out of the shitpool of despair that it is now in... you pathetic twonks!... and by the way... Channel 9 I still hate your guts!... :mad:👊🤬... cheers.
 
reepbot said:
She should have got more money for putting up with Karl all these years.
Click to expand...

...it just goes to show what a patient sophisticated and professional type of star that she really is doesn't it reepbot?... she should've been getting twice Stiffynodick's payroll as far as I'm... oh wait!... that's right... she's a female isn't she?... she would never be allowed into the exclusive Channel 9 'old boys club' would she?... (lucky her right?)... I'm so happy that she's left that poor excuse for a TV Channel... I really am... cheers.
 
Mr Stickyfingers said:
...it just goes to show what a patient sophisticated and professional type of star that she really is doesn't it reepbot?... she should've been getting twice Stiffynodick's payroll as far as I'm... oh wait!... that's right... she's a female isn't she?... she would never be allowed into the exclusive Channel 9 'old boys club' would she?... (lucky her right?)... I'm so happy that she's left that poor excuse for a TV Channel... I really am... cheers.
Click to expand...

they say it was because of pay, and i understand if she left for that reason. but the fact like you said that ch 9 is a boys club, plus the fact that she is going to a network whose struggles have been well documented, makes me think this move was more due to toxic culture reasons (which the pay issue was the symptom of the old boys club disease).
 
reepbot said:
they say it was because of pay, and i understand if she left for that reason. but the fact like you said that ch 9 is a boys club, plus the fact that she is going to a network whose struggles have been well documented, makes me think this move was more due to toxic culture reasons (which the pay issue was the symptom of the old boys club disease).
Click to expand...

...I have spoken about Channel 9's 'old boys club' many times before so I'm glad that Marco23 brought that subject up again... but it is true... it's a culture at Channel 9 that's been there all the way back to Kerry Packers early days for sure...

...and a couple of more things about this move too... Lisa will no longer have to 'dumb herself down' to appease Stiffynodick's massive self delusional ego now... she can actually be her charming sophisticated well educated self at last... he was like a leech on her talents that was always dragging her down... she always deserved so much better in my opinion and now it's finally happened after 10 years thank god lol!...

...the funny thing is reepbot... I read an article somewhere where it said that Channel 9 were going to try and fix the Logies and make Lisa the Gold Logie winner next year like they did with Stiffynodick that time... it was part of Channel 9's promises while they were still trying to woo her to stay with them (without the pay rise of course)... I would so laugh if she won it while being at Channel 10 now... wouldn't that be the ultimate slap in the teeth for Channel 9?... and... I think that it would've been on Stiffynodick's insistence that she isn't to get the same wage as him because his massive ego would not be able to stand her getting equal pay to him too... (some 'friend' eh?)... Lisa has probably realised that too... hence her leaving Channel 9...

...I remember at work when I was there that a friend of mine was promoted to middle management... he was in his position for a couple of years and grew frustrated that he was working his guts out but there was no further up that he could go because it was a 'you only go up when someone either dies or retires' type of worksite... he asked for my advice on what he needs to do to go up the corporate ladder and I just said to him... "it's simple... you need to leave this company!"... as it happened... he took my advice and ended up being a top manager at another company about 6 months later!... in fact... he was two positions higher than his ex-boss at our company lol!... so it looks like Lisa has basically done the dame thing in a way lol!...

...Lisa will blossom into the type of presenter that she always should have been now that she has poured Salt onto that Stiffynodick leech that has clung onto her credibilty for the last 10 years that he so severely lacks... let's face it... he has none whatsoever does he?... Channel 9 has given him shows that have severely flopped big time such as 'The Verdict' and 'This Time Next Year' for instance... they are both shit shows that never worked at all for him... the reason being?... he has no credibility whatsoever that's why... it's like when he got on the first flights he could to those countries that were bombed (France being one of them... was Belgium the other?) and he rushed there in the vain hope of getting a Logie for 'Best News Report' (or something similar) when there were already reporters in the country telling us all that we needed to know... nobody cared what he was reporting on because of... you guessed it... he has no credibility whatsoever...

...so yes... Lisa has definitely dodged a bullet by not renewing her contract and leaving there for sure... cheers.
 
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