Dear Channel Nine...

Sooooo Nine.... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO TOP GEAR?

ONE EPISODE. ONE. ONE FUCKING EPISODE AND YOU CHANGED IT.


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11 PM.

Let me just put that piece of time there. Notice how its not 9:30pm?

Channel 9 represent the amalgamation of laziness, commitment issues, the old woman that talks too much at the shops but you are too polite to walk away from (Minus the politeness) and of course Scott Cam.

SURVIVOR. Lets say I'm a very big fan. Although exciting, the AUS edition just doesn't give me the experience I am looking for. When channel 9 air US Survivor and say it's at 9:30, I was happy. I was quite contempt with sitting through their weirdly placed advert schedule so I can watch it. And then the dreaded words came to my ears.

11 PM.

11 FUCKING PM.

For what? So channel Nine can show their shitty show The Big Bong Theory or some shit???? Why in the name of God's great and bountiful earth would anybody want to watch that shit??

DO THEY NOT REALISE THAT PEOPLE NEED TO SLEEP???? So in response, I'm positioned to watch it on the JumpIn clone: NineNow or whatever. Yeah, because shitty resolutions, terrible interface and the pop-up ads telling me to remove my Adblocker so I have to sit through 40 centuries of advertising being forcibly deepthroated into my esophagus make me feel really welcome. I'd rather sit in complete silence looking at my face on a black screen than watch the dogshit attempts at advertising.

Nine Now? More like Nine Never.

Whilst we're on the subject of ClickBaiting, Channel Nine News is trash. It is not journalism. When I last watched, I felt like I would get better news coverage from a broken clock. I feel like I'm reading a buzzfeed article with all the baiting headlines such as: "MAN FOUND IN RIVER, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE WAS DOING" and "HERE'S 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL OF SPAM"

rant done. thanks for listening
Gather around children. Its story time. This one is called: "11:30pm. Because 11:00pm wasn't late enough."

PREVIOUSLY ON RANT:



Before this novel writes itself. I'd like to throw around some words that I don't like.
  • Channel 9
  • Hangover; the
  • Channel 9
  • Moist
  • Big Bang Theory
  • Comedy Roast
  • Channel 9
  • Channel 9
  • Survivor being shown after 9:30
And I thought Big Bang Theory was bad enough. So when @Melore notified me in the "Survivor Season 33" thread that when Channel Nine may have finally come to their senses and stopped showing the "MUST SEE" comedy roasts due to lack of viewers, I was contempt. I mean obviously there's not much of a market anymore for Analog TV style black bars on all of our wide screen tvs. But then I read on...


The Hangover.

The fucking Hangover

Once more for the people in the back. The Hangover.

So instead of watching Survivor like Australia should be, nono, I have to wait until not 11:00. BUT 11;30!!! Because of the HANGOVER????!

And I thought 11:00pm was bad!

Have Nine forgotten that they own a second channel?? What happened to it being on GO every thursday? Did they really want to compete with Channel 10 so much that they made die hard survivor fans stay up to the unholy hour of 11:30pm.

And as if I'm going to watch it on their complimentary 50x60 pixel screen on their NineNow website, buffering every 45.6 femtoseconds. I laughed at the polite message to turn off my AdBlocker. Yeah right, because I haven't had enough of being forcibly deepthroated ads when I turn on my TV.

Fuck. You. Channel. Nine.
Jesus Christ, 2016 BBC was a wild ride
 

Mr Stickyfingers

an old fart that rants at times...
Awesome site donor
...dear Channel 9... you got rid of Karl Stiffynodick off prime tv (mostly anyway).... as we begged you to do... you got rid of Tim Gilbert as we begged... is it too much to ask you to get rid of Scott Cam while you’re at it?... by the way... I still hate your guts Channel 9... cheers.
 
Last edited:

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
...dear Channel 9... you got rid of Karl Stiffynodick off prime tv (mostly anyway).... as we begged you to do... you got rid of Tim Gilbert as we begged... is it too much to ask you to get rid of Scott Cam while you’re at it?... by the way... I still hate your guts Channel 9... cheers.
😂
 
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