My mother made Christmas amazing for the whole family. Even after we'd grown up and left home we were expected to show for Christmas breakfast at 7am - ham eggs and mimosas - before Dad handing out the presents one at a time around the tree. With the little kids (grandkids) it was always amazing. We'd stay all day then head home with tired babies.
She died on Dec 13 1996 and it's never been the same.
Dad tried to hold it together but was never a sentimental man - and when he died 2.5 years later, and then on of my 2 sisters another 20 mths after that .. it was all over. My sole remaining sister and I don't get along and my extended family are scattered around the world/dead/elderly/busy with their own families. By that time, my kids were in their final years of highh school so we had small family Christmas till 2006. The last 8 years my daughters have been travelling opr spending Christmas with their partners' families.
Then in 2011 with the Brisbane floods we lost our tree and all the decos accumulated over the previous 20 years, most of which had real sentimental value.
This year my other half is in Scotland visiting his family (his Dad has rapidly progressing Alzheimers) and he won't be home till the 23rd. We'll have a quiet day of snacking on simple food, without presents or anything special.
Christmas makes me sad now, and writing all thi has made me start to cry