Hi Kay. Oh you are. That I am sure.
When I had no one to believe in me and Sr Mel actually did, initially I latched on to God and the Catholic Church to be just a little bit like her. But it got to the point it was becoming unhealthy. I felt if I didn't go to church every day and have holy water touch me, my life would go back to what it was, if I didn't recite the Lord's Prayer through out my day, my life would go back to what it was. I felt if I took my cross off, my life would go back to what it was. I was in a constant state of prayer. This calmed down after a couple of years, and my life started changing, positively, I thanked God for this. I took a vow of celibacy, got a job, had a JET adviser at Social Security help me with study choices, and then my life really started changing. I saved money, bought an old Datsun 200B, moved to a better area of Maroochydore, by this time 5 years had passed, I thanked God for this. Then my life really took its greatest blow. My father died, but by then I was stronger, I didn't run straight back to drugs, I mourned him and continued living and growing. I was still devout in my belief, but I had dialled back on the obsessiveness and I thanked God for this.
I think by this time another 5 years had past, I was now with my partner and mentally stronger than I had ever been. I started thinking about life, and I felt disillusioned at the thought that "God" would save the likes of me while the innocent suffered, then science sort of kicked in.
I think religion, when used for good, can be life changing, as it was for me. The Catholic Church will always be a special place for me, and I think people like you and Sr Mel are perfect examples of that good. I truly believe without Mel, I could never have turned my mess of a life around.