…Tv ads / promos / TV shows and movies that make ridiculous claims and insult your intelligence… (or are great)…

[Mr Stickyfingers]

…because this is a long one it will be in 2 parts…

PART ONE:

…alright folks… get your cup of coffee ready because this is going to be a long one!… I’m going to dissect this Ad almost frame by frame because basically… it’s totally pathetic and is a complete bad cliche’ from start to finish… right!… here we go… this is the Ad… (it’s only an image of it because it won’t let me put the video on here… hence the breakdown)…



1)…a black and white shot (to emphasise the misery of it all of course) of the poor lonely old pensioner sitting sadly in his lounge room…



2)… he’s looking at photo’s of ‘the good old days’ when he used to play lawn bowls with his friends (still in black and white for dramatic effect)…




3)… here he is… looking so sad and lonely… being a real sad misery guts and just staring into space… (they should’ve inserted the ‘memories… so much sweeter than they are!’ soundtrack in the background for even more dramatic effect)… it’s still in black and white for the dramatic effect of course…



4)… but lo and behold!… a care worker suddenly appears like magic!… she’s even in colour while the rest is in black and white just to emphasise her almost angelic importance… he’s saved!… his life of misery is over!… hallelujah!… may the lord be praised!…



5)… she shakes the walking stick and then says…”walkies!”… while giving him an ‘all knowing’ smile… take note:… the whole scene is now in full colour to show that his whole life is suddenly alive!…



6)… oh look!… he’s suddenly alive!… the look on his face says it all… “oooooh… WALKIES!”…



7)… that’s right… show her helping the feeble old pensioner up… (just to emphasise on how much care he needs)… note:… the 4 bowls in the foreground on a GLASS TOP TABLE and the one on the window sill (where’s the other one on the sill?)… isn’t she taking them with her?… it’s bloody obvious where they’re going…



8)… …awwwww!… doesn’t old mate look so chuffed?… oh look there are the two bowls on the window sill now!… the other must’ve just been out of shot… thank god for that… there’s no use breaking up a whole set is there?… um… don’t forget to take them with you care worker when you go…


9)… oh okay… we’re on the way out the door now… yeah that’s right… put on the heavy duty raincoat because it must be absolutely pissing down outside… (where’s her raincoat?… we don’t want her catching a cold… who will look after our hapless pensioner?)… oh yeah… don’t forget his hat to make him look even older and more pathetic… really?… (who actually wears a hat like that nowadays?… they went out in the 1950’s for gods sake)… um… don’t forget his bowls!… huh!… some carer!…

END OF PART ONE… cheers.

 

[Meglos]

I've never seen that ad. It might be a local one.

 

[Meglos]

I hate this so much.
From the annoying computerised singing to the grotesque uncanny valley AI gone wrong mouth movements, it's a total fail for me.

 

[Mr Stickyfingers]

PART TWO:

…so!… our story continues…



1)… we’ve finally arrived at the bowling club… he’s still wearing his heavy duty raincoat while there are just normal clouds around… no rain clouds whatsoever… so why is he wearing it in the first place?… and… where has his hat gone?… maybe he stuck his head out the car window like a dog and his hat blew off?… I guess that we’ll never know eh?… he waves to everyone and not one person acknowledges him… has he been gone that long?… and… where are his beloved bowls?…



2)… oh wow!… everyone seems like they finally remembered him!… in fact… he has assembled everyone around just to watch his triumphant return… he has a complete change of clothing… did his faithful companion have to help him get changed?… did she have to take off his heavy duty raincoat while he was kicking and screaming?… they’re all eagerly waiting for him to take his shot… as he bends down to take his shot his carer looks at him as if he just farted on the way down… (he must’ve hired his bowls because she left them on the table and window sill back at home)…



3)... he takes his powerhouse shot!…everyone is in suspense!…



4)… they all watch his magnificent shot… the guy behind him is so enthusiastic about the shot that he’s already applauding… his carer looks like she’s having a fit because she’s so enthusiastic…



5)… now he has the whole crowd in his hands because of his magnificent shot!… they’re all applauding his magnificent achievement!…



6)… he’s so pleased with himself!… he’s revelling in it… can it get any better?…



7)… all hail the hero!… thank god he’s back at the club!… where would they be without him?… watch out the Olympics!…



8)… and… thats a wrap!… cue the credits… old mate has regained the will to live just because his carer said that immortal word… “walkies!”… his life now has a purpose!… thank god for his carer… thank god for ‘rightathome’!… he lives because of both of you… he’s never been so alive!… all is good in the world again!… END OF STORY.


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…right… surprise surprise I have a problem with this Ad… as a 70 year old invalid that is wheelchair bound… making his character so sad and pathetic as they have through visual representation the way they have… feels like they think that all pensioners are equally as despondent… for your information ‘rightathome’ a lot of us are fighters… most of us have accepted the position that we’re in and we’re doing something about it… not just sitting at home staring at walls hoping that someone will come to our rescue… don’t categorise us like that… most of us are always moving forward… we have healthy active lives… we’re trying to fit in the best way we can… we don’t need such a pathetic Ad like this to make us feel any worse than we actually do… the Ad sucks balls big time you morons!… end of rant!… cheers.

 

[Mr Stickyfingers]

…um… just a word on the side to all of the idiots playing a wave of saturation Ads… that is:… playing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again is…….. besides it being FUCKING ANNOYING is the fact that when people are fucking annoyed by having the product shoved down their throats so much… THEY DON’T BUY THE FUCKING PRODUCT!… are you people too stupid as to understand that?… seriously… you can’t see that?… if not… you should be sacked by your customer… dickheads!… cheers.

 

[Mr Stickyfingers]

PART ONE:…

…another pathetic Ad… this time from Kentucky Fried… it’s the child's ball-pit one… so let me set the scenario… there’s a dad on his mobile phone with his spoilt brat kid playing in a ball-pit in a Mall most likely… he tries to get the brat kid out of it so as to go home and he gets pulled really hard by his brat kid so much that he drops the phone in the ball-pit… only to see it slowly sink to the bottom of the ball-pit… he then looks up and his whole world gets better!… he sees a Kentucky Fried Chicken billboard with an amazing deal… he is then seen eating that deal in the ball-pit… end of Ad… this is the actual Ad…

…here’s the sucker dad on his phone…



…cue the brat kid in the ball-pit that pulls his dad forward…



…oh no!… there goes his phone!…



…the phone sinks further towards the bottom of the ball-pit… how sad eh?…



…there he is… he’s dropped his brat kid… he’s dropped his precious phone… his only communication with the outside world!… all is lost… he now has no reason to live… goodbye cruel world…



…BUT WAIT!… ALL IS NOT LOST!… end of part one… cheers.

 

[Mr Stickyfingers]

PART TWO:…

…the saga continues… there’s dad… sad… lonely…. desperate… he looks up… lo and behold his whole world is lit up!… he now has a reason to live!…



…he sees a Kentucky Fried Chicken billboard!… hallelujah!…



…the next scene we see him gorging himself on some Kentucky Fried Chicken to his hearts content… he still offers nothing to his brat kid so obviously he hates him and hopes that he starves to death…



…yep!… there he is… actually sitting in the ball-pit… totally stuffing his face… still not feeding his brat kid/kids… he doesn’t care less…



…oh wait!… is he having a heart attack from all of the fat in the chicken?… gosh I hope not!…



…no… everything is okay… he must have choked on a chicken bone or farted or something… all is good…he’s continuing to chow down on the chicken in the ball-pit… still starving his brat kid/kids to death… end of Ad…




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…now… apart from the brat kid that is so annoying (I wouldn’t blame dad if he throttled the brat kid and buried him at the bottom of the ball-pit to be honest)… what really pisses me off is the fact that IT VIOLATES EVERY HYGIENE LAW IN AUSTRALIA TO HAVE ANY FOODSTUFF IN BALL-PITS WHATSOEVER!… and even Kentucky Fried Chicken would know that… so why have him eating the chicken INSIDE the ball-pit?… just for the ‘funny image’?… it makes the Ad look stupid… he’s blatantly breaking the Law… that’s not ‘funny’… what a stupid Ad… end of rant!… cheers.

 

[Meglos]

Of course, who cares if you've lost your phone with everything on it, if you can have $5 worth of greasy chicken? Which KFC will not give you for free, despite no one in these ads ever paying for anything.
P.S. after the chicken has gone you'll have greasy hands and your child will still be shit.

 

[Meglos]

See also the ad (I can't post it because I can't even remember what it was for) where the little girl drops the dad's phone in the fish tank.

 

[February]

All those KFC ads are stupid. I don't get any of them, they're not funny or clever - just plain stupid!