R U OK Support Thread

Thank everyone - makes you feel better when you can vent a bit. I had two awesome friends that helped me move, and I am forever grateful and thankful.

I am also coming to terms with the loss of life, through suicide, with the anger and sorrow I feel, thinking about that this is such a selfish act (when life is left behind for others to clean up anything left behind etc) and it so makes me soldier on.

At the house I am living at now, there is a swing set that he did the deed. I didn't know the bloke - thank goodness! I want to frame it out and put some shadecloth on the outside to make a shadehouse, as I cannot see me swinging on that swing set, anytime soon.

Have been planting Sunflowers on the first day moving here and today planted Corn, Tomatoes and Lettuce raised plants. I need to get the snow peas and capsicum happening as well, oh and Basil under my tomatos (cherry and roma) The soil is so enriched (worms everywhere ) Got heap of flowers to germinate from seed as well, will start them off tomorrow. It has been so cold here for spring and I don't think I have left the planting too late.

Hopefully will have a few Chooks coming the next 2 weeks :)

I will take a few pics when there is a day of sunshine, showing what I am now looking out towards North, South, East and West ........ before Summer hits and the grass and hills turn brown. It is amazing to just move 3klms from the town and the energy feels so different. Starting to have a clearer head. Must be not breathing in the car fumes or the negative energy from others????

Joy is settleing in well. She was an inside dog for the last 5 years and slept with me, but she has been banished to the outdoors (like all farm dogs are) She has accepted her place well- even though I miss her cuddles at night. I am thinking about setting up a tent, like a glamping tent - for warm nights, so we can sleep together - Damn Dogs!

So I am OK and will always look at the positive, I have landed in a great place that I prayed and put out for and got a good deal, Lucky? Someone or Somethng is looking out for me xxx

It has been been a really hard time, and I not looking for sympathy at all but just sharing what I am going through, in case another can relate. I have lost so much 'material 'stuff' in this process, but I am still here and will fight on.

RUOK? I am OK xxxxxxxxxxx
 
qtkt said:
Glad to hear you are OK. I'm really keen to see the pictures.
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I will take some soon, we had a lot of smoke haze here today. Ill take some of my vege patch as well :)

Also please pray for Rae, my SIL - she came here today and was a drucken mess at 11am! I like to have a drink and such, but for breakfast? In the dark of night when the day is over, to relax is my way. I Think she must be going through alot of issues, but she rarely shares her worries and problems, it is all good, she says.
She could not even hold a converation, spilt her coffee everwhere, repeated herself at least 4 times, cried then laughed - so sad! When she arrived I thought her back was hurting, because she has back problems and thought that was why she was was staggering, but it was more than that.

I have avoided being in contact with her for the last 12 months, as I had my own stuff to deal with, and well she was really bad then but so much worse now. I did not have the strength to deal with her then. Now I have moved on, I feel a bit greedy not to be able to help, as I so need to recover myself and rebuild my inner strength, which I feel I am doing. day by day.

She is a total mess. I am so not trying to judge her, but from what I see - she is that. It is so sad to see and it was like get out of my house - I don't need this Energy. I felt selfish.

Maybe I should write her a letter?

I want her to be OK
 
What actually pisses me off more - is her BF, that seems to enable her. I understand that stuff, cause I sort of have lived like that, but he just brushed off her ways and ignored it all, like it was all normal. I am so saddened. I cannot understand it all :(
 
Can you get her to see a Councellor. And/or get her to an AA meeting or a SMART recovery meeting. You and she may not love the idea but (unless this is really a one-off event), being that smashed at 11:00 is indicative of needing some outside help I would think... Sounds like it was an all night session that didn't really stop...
 
She's gotta be open to it though or you are kind of wasting your time. Not that I mean do not help or listen, but I have seen a few cases of people not being ready to change. So I guess what I am trying to say is make sure you also look after you. By all means be there for her, but as you know, YOU also need some time to come to terms with all the changes you have been having to deal with.
 
Mooseface said:
She's gotta be open to it though or you are kind of wasting your time. Not that I mean do not help or listen, but I have seen a few cases of people not being ready to change. So I guess what I am trying to say is make sure you also look after you. By all means be there for her, but as you know, YOU also need some time to come to terms with all the changes you have been having to deal with.
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My immediate thought was yes, take the time to restore yourself. Very sad situation for your SIL. I do hope that all will be well and things settle down.
 
Alcoholism is in my husband's family and it is a sad, sad disease with repercussions for all the person's family and friends. And my experience is that there is usually an enabler!!! She will first need to see that she has a problem and then find the motivation to want to change. You can support her but you can not do it for her. So - you have to protect yourself in the process. You are both in my prayers.
 
qtkt said:
Alcoholism is in my husband's family and it is a sad, sad disease with repercussions for all the person's family and friends. And my experience is that there is usually an enabler!!! She will first need to see that she has a problem and then find the motivation to want to change. You can support her but you can not do it for her. So - you have to protect yourself in the process. You are both in my prayers.
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Thanks

There is an enabler here, it is so sad. They are both sad. I have stuff that I am dealing with in my own life and if she needs my help, I have told her I am here if you need me. I do not think she will call anytime soon. I think that when you need help you have to reach out and all will be there to help you and be by your side. Sometimes you have to ask for help or be asked R U OK xxxxxx
 
I too am dealing with alcoholics, 2 severe cases in my sisters.
I think i am at the end of my tether, I cop these daily abuse calls, WTF they are even on about is beyond me.
We can be moving along quite smoothly for a bit - and then out of the blue, they phone with some weird paranoid theory about me, and then I just get daily abuse calls.
I know it is the brain damage. I am never going to see the sisters I once knew again. And these people who have taken their place, why?
Can alcoholics repair? Can my sisters ever come back?
 
It's not impossible @kxk but it has to begin with them and it is a rough road.
 
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qtkt said:
It's not impossible @kxk but it has to begin with them and it is a rough road.
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Breaks my heart, one sister fought & fought to survive, and lost.
And these sisters throw it away, I know they are committing slow suicide, they drink to forget. When they sober up sometimes, they hate themselves, and so it goes around again.And heart attacks are on the horizon.
I really have no immediate family left, just my dependant and cousins now.
 
I do understand @kxk My husband's father and brother both died from alcoholism and his sister almost did. It's still a daily struggle for her and she says she wants to be well. She has been sober for two months now but has been at this stage lots of times over the years. It is heartbreaking
 
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I'm on my own and when I'm sick, I sometimes just want some niceness, so anything flung my way will be appreciated, lol.
I got a cold on the 1st, thought I'd just let it go and not take cold meds for it, which isn't an issue. Got a cough after a couple of days, picked up some vertigo and thought it was time to see the GP. He gave me Stemetil, Ventolin (to open my airways which has been good) and antis for the chest infection. Feeling a lot better except for the vertigo. Lying on my right side is like a swooping roller coaster, on my back is like being a metronome and on my left side is bliss. Not helped by that special night shift weariness. Took one Stemetil this morning as I was feeling a tad nauseous. Ate an apple which helped and had a light lunch. Much better but very tired.
 
Oh @Khun Khun that sounds awful. I hope you have a few days off to recover. What is Stemetil?
I dropped a shelf on my back the other day, and it's still hurting, and I can't see, there seems to be a lump no bruise, feels weird.

Have you ever tried ASTRA FORTE for colds and flu? Chinese herbs that really work, like cold/flu meds but without the weird chemicals.

You are in Melbourne right? If you feel a bit better, you could try some free French Champagne & chocolates to cheer yourself up here, over 3 days at 3 locations...
15095597_719231404891364_1379009884148346889_n.jpg


details here
https://www.facebook.com/Wine.Repub...1870764388610/719231404891364/?type=3&theater

We are going to the Windsor one Friday, French Champagne is a hobby of mine")
 
kxk said:
Oh @Khun Khun that sounds awful. I hope you have a few days off to recover. What is Stemetil?
I dropped a shelf on my back the other day, and it's still hurting, and I can't see, there seems to be a lump no bruise, feels weird.

Have you ever tried ASTRA FORTE for colds and flu? Chinese herbs that really work, like cold/flu meds but without the weird chemicals.

You are in Melbourne right? If you feel a bit better, you could try some free French Champagne & chocolates to cheer yourself up here, over 3 days at 3 locations...
15095597_719231404891364_1379009884148346889_n.jpg


details here
https://www.facebook.com/Wine.Repub...1870764388610/719231404891364/?type=3&theater

We are going to the Windsor one Friday, French Champagne is a hobby of mine")
Click to expand...
Thankyou for your thought, I'm ok, just feeling a bit flat. Ooh, that sounds great. I'm working until 6pm tomorrow and as I work at the Alfred, it's closer. Stemetil is a drug used for stopping nausea and vomiting. This has been a vomit free year and I intend on keeping it that way, not that I do it often. I don't.
 
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