Day 16

7.41am – Bradley is called to the diary room, and is asked to play the piano accordion. “Would you like to wake up your fellow housemates with a performance?” … “Yes Big Brother”. The YES board outside lights up, slightly stirring the housemates who are all in bed, still in the dark. Bradley enters squawking the piano accordion really badly. The housemates are all looking dreadful this early in the morning. Even after all HMs are awake Bradley continues until Big Brother tells him “well done, it was a beautiful recital”.

Ryan and Sarah are called to the diary room and asked “would you like to prepare some breakfast or Ray?”. “Yes Big Brother”. Ryan is really not impressed with having to cook a meal for Ray once again. Meanwhile some of the housemates are discussing how they can’t understand Ray because he just “tells you thinks” and doesn’t engage in a two way conversation. Meanwhile Ray is being served his breakfast in bed. Stacey found it weird when Ray earlier described his perfect girl as “one who doesn’t talk”. Layla agrees “what an odd boy!”. Talk then moves to Layla and George’s relationship, which seems to be fizzling out. Layla confides in Stacey that there was no physical affection last night, not even a kiss. George meanwhile is on the other side of the garden telling Ray he doesn’t want what he has with Layla to turn into a full blown relationship. Ray says “you put your foot in it already mate, just be careful.”

There’s a gratuitous shot of Angie showing Layla her bum and asking her to inspect a pimple.

Ray: They’re women, they’re emotional people

11.19am – Some of the boys are talking about who is the hottest girl in the house. Michael says Stacey’s personality puts her up the top right now. “Estelle is naturally there and Layla has other bits that are good”. Josh jokes that if he went solely by looks he’d go for Ben. Ben says “oh yeah!” Josh seriously thinks Sarah in terms of overall package. Big Brother suddenly reminds all housemates of this week’s YES/NO task, then announces “Stacey, would you like to meet Ryan Gosling?” She jumps up and screams, as do all of the housemates. They have to remind Stacey to say “yes Big Brother” because she keeps screaming so much. She is then called to the diary room and everyone chases after her. Stacey quickly runs by the bathroom to check how she’s looking in the mirrors and to put on some makeup.

The doors to the diary room open… inside is a cardboard cutout of Ryan Gosling and Stacey is very disappointed. She says “hello” to the cardboard Ryan Gosling. “You’re so pretty, can I keep him?”.

“Why is Ryan Gosling your favourite celebrity?”

“I think I just like his style of acting and, look I’m going to beat around the bush I just love his really really pretty face. Look at him… look at his little (baby talk)”

“Stacey, you must remain attached to Ryan Gosling until further notice. You must eat with Ryan Gosling. You must sleep in bed with Ryan Gosling (Stacey squeals) you must make Ryan Gosling feel like part of the Big Brother house”.

Stacey is very excited that cardboard Ryan Gosling is double sided. She emerges from the diary room and everyone screams and cheers. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to my husband, baby Goose.”

Later in the day George and Layla are lying in bed looking very awkward. Stacey is feeding cardboard Ryan Gosling some canned fruit. George very awkwardly brings up with Layla “what is this?” (in a thousand more words, and very nervously). They agree they are both not looking for anything serious.

1.07pm – The nominees are in charge of the weekly house discussion dinner. This week BB instructs there must also be a chairperson to ensure all topics are covered and every housemate has a chance to speak. Ben, and Ryan paper scissors rock it and Ben wins: “yay, I love hosting”. Outside of the diary room Bradley says “I think it’s best for us all if Ryan hosts”. Ryan moves around the house and announces he will be hosting dinner tonight. Ben explains later to Estelle that he thought it was best since Ryan is quiet and reserved and this would be a chance for him to speak to the other housemates.

Zoe is alone in the bathroom looking at the fish tank when suddenly:

Surly the fish: Hello darling

Zoe: Oh my god!

Surly: It’s Surly here, come down and say hello. Now listen here, you’re up for a secret mission. Now, here’s the rules, you don’t tell anybody about me. Don’t tell anyone I can talk. If you do you’ll be evicted immediately do you understand? Have a look in the drawer next to my tank, take it out.

Inside the drawer is $500 that will be Zoe’s if she passes the secret mission.

Surly: I’ll give you half an hour to go to every male housemate and give them each a story that starts with the words “This one time, when I was in New York”.

Zoe moves to the kitchen and Ryan is her first target: “This one time when I was in New York I met this guy who looked just like you”. Ryan says “well, I was in New York one time”. Zoe has her strategy figured out completely: next is Michael: “You know this one time when I was in New York I met I guy that looked just like Ryan. In a sushi restaurant.” She pulls the same line on Ray immediately after. Michael is suspicious and says “why are you telling people this, this is so silly”. She pulls the same line on Benjamin and convincingly adds “does that sound weird?” onto the end, Ben says no. Zoe immediately goes back to the bathroom: “Surly I did it!”

Surly: You were supposed to tell every bloke a different story you muppet. But, I’ll give you a chance to make up for it. Who do you think the smartest housemate is? Who dresses the best?

Zoe: Um… Ryan?

Surly: Go and get a pair of his shoes, and thrown them over the back wall. You’ve got five minutes. Don’t let anyone know you’re doing it.

Zoe must work around Stacey, Sarah and Benjamin who are doing some tailoring on cardboard Ryan Gosling. She manages to sneak them out without being noticed. There’s a ball game going on outside and Zoe manages to throw the shoes over without the wall without anyone noticing… well almost. Michael sees it: “Zoe just threw two black shoes over the fence”. Zoe throws herself under her doona while Ryan comes to inspect his possessions. She then moves to the bathroom to clean the fish tank while George asks “have you lost the plot?” Ryan does not have an impressed look on his face. Stacey tries to check the situation and asks Ryan “did you upset Zoe?”. He says no but Zoe was acting strange before in the kitchen. He asks Zoe if it was his shoes she threw over the wall, Zoe says “no, I didn’t chuck anything over”.

Ryan comes to the diary room and says “Zoe has been acting extremely weird, I think Zoe threw a pair of runners on the room. I was looking through my clothes and I have a black pair of my shoes missing. And she’s being weird.”

Surly: Zoe, you didn’t do very well did you?

Zoe: What do you mean? I did it

Surly: Yeah but you got busted

Zoe: Yeah but they were all out there!

In the diary room Big Brother suggest that maybe food deprivation has something to do with what has happened in the last 10 minutes. Ryan says “you’re making me think Big Brother, but that’s extreme”.

Surly: Now listen. Open the draw, take the cash and stick it where no one will find it. Don’t tell anyone about me, understand.

6.07pm – Tonight’s family dinner is royal themed in honour of Layla’s secret that she’s related to Polish royalty. Bradley and Ben are cooking dinner and joking about how they don’t like Ryan (while he’s out of the room)

Ben (impersonating Ryan): The secret to tonight’s dinner is timing.

Ben: Well, the secret to tonight’s dinner is you sitting in the corner while I cook it.

Ryan enters the kitchen and Ben asks him, “do you think your friends will like Estelle? What about your parents, do you think they’ll like Estelle? Have you ever introduced your parents to girls before?” He hasn’t. While the nominees cook the girls are in the living room and Layla reports back about George’s “lets cool it”, “I don’t want to lead you on” lines. The girls are pretty appalled, and all agree that Layla is using George rather than him using her. Some of the boys are having the same conversation in the bedroom by the story is way different: “it’s all good and sorted”.

8.29pm – Housemates are all eating their dinner and Ryan introduces the topics which were submitted by the housemates. The first is “if you had a time machine and could travel back in time, what is the one thing you would change in the Big Brother house?”. Josh says he would flirt with Ben a bit more and would have made a move on Angie the first move before he got to friend status. The housemate all cheer but Angie is not impressed. Ben says he would not have thrown a glass of water in Bradley’s face, because he has learnt from the experience that it’s not funny but he’s glad he did it because it made him realise that at 32 he should have grown out of that sort of behaviour. Bradley wishes he didn’t say the comment that caused Ben to throw the glass of water and he feels terrible that it happened “because he may go home”. Everyone cheers. “I love you guys”.

The next topic is “what has the BB house taught you?”. Sarah says she was blown away in the first week, the second week she was “something else again”, but this week “it is all just making sense”. She has learnt that she’s learning and will keep on learning.

9.51pm – Stacey decides to give cardboard Ryan Gosling a lap dance. Ryan is lying flat on a chair while the housemates chant a strip song. Stacey tries to sexily take off her sock and throw it down but it makes cardboard Ryan Gosling slide of the chair and Stacey has to pick him up, to the laugher of the other housemates.

The nominee cooks are fixing up dessert and as soon as Ryan leaves Ben exclaims he’s glad he’s not being bossed around by “that man”. Ben and Bradley agree that Ryan did a good job of hosting and if they didn’t pick him he would have easily faded away during discussion. The hosting duties gave him a chance to shine and “fit in a bit”. Meanwhile inside the housemates are also discussing Ryan but in a different way. Ray says that since finding out he was nominated Ryan had a switch turned on and he’s been bubbly and has a big smile on his face. Ryan enters with ice cream dessert and the housemates all cheer, just before the next topic is discussed: “discuss the pros and cons of developing a relationship in the house”.

Michael suggested this topic and rationalises: there are six people in the house who are in a relationship “two might not know it but yeah”. BB said there are eight: Stacey and cardboard Ryan Gosling. Angie says a positive is that a bit of a cuddle gives comfort and makes her happy. Josh says pro snuggles, con saying people taking it for something it’s not. George says the same, Layla looks pissed.

11.32pm – Stacey is getting cardboard Ryan Gosling ready for bed, and explain which side of him she likes best. She washes him in the shower. Meanwhile in the kitchen Ryan asks Ray what he thinks of Estelle (Ryan’s current squeeze) – Ray says “yeaaaah she’s one of the boys” and “you are one of the luckiest guys”. Ray then goes on to say tonight Ryan really came out of his shell, which makes Ryan really excitable. Conversation then moves on to Benjamin and Ray says Ben “hates me, and George”.

12.29am – Michael has been called to the diary room. He recognised the same black box that George found hair clippers in. Big Brother asks Michael to tell him how his hair defines him as a person. Michael cringes and says “um… I never really had any attention from girls or felt confident and then I started growing it and I guess I started feeling like I fit in with people. It was a source of pride that not only was I a red head but I was something who was stoked being a red head”.

“Michael, would you like to lose the hair?”

“I’m sorry guys, but no I wouldn’t do it, no Big Brother”.

The housemates, who are watching in the lounge room, all cheer. The NO board lights up. Michael is looking very angry. When he emerges, the housemates all hug him better and rub his hair, saying “we don’t care!”.

12.49am – Zoe comes to the diary room. Big Brother asks “what do you think Surly’s playing at?” Zoe is surprised and replies “I think Surly’s maybe giving me missions because lying is not my biggest strength when it comes to serious lies and I was really terrified that people were going to stop trusting me because I acted like a crazy person today and was like ‘Zoe what is the deal?'”.

“Having missions is fun but difficult so who know what Surly’s doing to me?”