Making news this week…

Best experienced in audio form – download the Week 9 Radio show and skip to 46:05

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“Good evening and welcome to this TEN News update, I’m Sandra Sully.

“First tonight, fans and media this week called on the government to step up anti-hoon laws and give police more power to deal with dangerous drivers. This follows an incident on Tuesday where ‘Grey Nomad’ gang members, Terrence and Terri, took the Kombi van joyriding. They attempted to run down several pedestrians, and Terrence could be heard shouting, ‘This is what’s wrong with the youth of Australia today!’ They have not received a strike for their actions.

“Doctors were called into the Big Brother house on Wednesday night to examine Brigitte’s mental welfare. Concerns had been raised throughout the day as Brigitte had gone almost twenty four hours without screaming something at the top of her lungs. She had also failed to call Terrence a ‘weirdo’ al day, despite his repeated attempts at provocation by wearing his sarong. When approached for comment, Terrence replied, ‘what’s sarong with that?’. Housemates then attempted to cite Terrence as an example of why euthanasia should be legalised… and encouraged.

“Another race row hit the house on Thursday morning, as Terri commented during breakfast that her toast ‘wasn’t dark enough’. This prompted some of the younger housemates to tell her she was being racist. Terri defended her actions, while using the opportunity to once again deny she had ever said ‘slit eyes’. Comment was today being sought from Nobbi.

“And lastly, this week’s train task took a controversial turn for the worse yesterday as one housemate was asked to lay down on the train tracks to demonstrate why platform safety rules should be obeyed at all time. Travis has now been removed from the house and placed into intensive care, after the locomotive failed to actually stop at the Bro Town platform and struck him at full speed.

“And that’s it for this TEN News update, from all of us here, have a good night.”

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