Skip to main content

In The News

In light of CERN and to celebrate the Higgs Bosson here's a few random science jokes............Nerd hats on.



So...a Higgs-Boson particle walks into a Catholic church and the priest stops him. "You can't come in here", the priest says, "This church is only for humans!"

To which the particle replies, "Without me, how can you have Mass?"

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much the drinks cost. The bartender replies, 'For you, no charge.' "

An electron walks into a bar and a proton says to him, "You're round!"
"Really?" says the electron. "Are you positive?"

A sodium atom walks into a bar and sits down all depressed. Bartenders says what's the matter. "I lost one of my electrons." said the sodium atom. "Are you sure?" says the bartender? "Yep." says the sodium atom, "I'm positive."
 
181145_10151005221589928_555391165_n.jpg
 
eliza said:
At no time did I mention what I would or would not have done ...
Click to expand...

No you didn't, did you.

Why not ?

See: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion...-abc-tv-fainting/story-e6frfifx-1226417222224

and then the comments here: http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/.../comments/column_the_monstering_of_mirabella/

and then feel inspired that so many people not only do know what to do in such situations but also aren't scared to share that knowledge so that even more people can know and understand what should and should not be done. :)

regarDS
 
Grasping at straws much? For pete's sake, why would he fake faint? I'm sure he's been in tougher situations than that, and it wasn't like he was being questioned at the time and needed a quick escape.

I didn't realise there was a textbook method for fainting. I imagine people can go "bang" straight down, or they can get the wobblies before hand and slowly "ploonk". And I have fainted before and pretty much got straight up afterwards, a bit woozy, but ok. My daughter has fainted, fallen down a couple of stairs, and then composed herself and gone back to the job she was doing.

As for Sophie Mirabella's reaction? No I don't blame her. We have politicians and the like pulling all sorts of crazy stunts (i.e. Craig Emmerson's Horror Movie, or Mary Jo Fisher's Time Warp) to get their mugs on TV, so I assume that Sophie kinda saw him slump forward and just thought "What are you playing at, dickhead?" She quite possibly thought he was joking around. It takes most people a few seconds to comprehend when something unexpected happens in front of them, so her delay in acting was probably a bit of shock/not realising what was happening. And then, if she was unsure of what to do in that particular situation, she would have held back and allowed people who seemed to have more idea of what they were doing, to go ahead and help him.

I admit to being pretty useless in situations like that, so I would have probably behaved very similar to her and thought to myself "Ok, I have no idea what to do, so I'll let these other guys handle it". So there you go ... I don't blame her for having a fairly normal human reaction.
 
pwta said:
Grasping at straws much? For pete's sake, why would he fake faint? I'm sure he's been in tougher situations than that, and it wasn't like he was being questioned at the time and needed a quick escape.

I didn't realise there was a textbook method for fainting. I imagine people can go "bang" straight down, or they can get the wobblies before hand and slowly "ploonk". And I have fainted before and pretty much got straight up afterwards, a bit woozy, but ok. My daughter has fainted, fallen down a couple of stairs, and then composed herself and gone back to the job she was doing.
Click to expand...

I am a world champion fainter (as anyone who knows me knows :D) and I do both. Sometimes it is like someone switching off a switch and down I go, within the time it takes to snap your fingers. Other times it's like my body turns to jelly and I sink down and go all tilty. Both types come from the same thing, in my case cerebral hypoperfusion (a symptom of a much bigger issue). Sometimes I am aware of what is happening, sometimes I am confused or have memory loss, sometimes I cannot speak properly afterwards, sometimes I can.
 
derspatz said:
No you didn't, did you.

Why not ?

See: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion...-abc-tv-fainting/story-e6frfifx-1226417222224

and then the comments here: http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/.../comments/column_the_monstering_of_mirabella/

and then feel inspired that so many people not only do know what to do in such situations but also aren't scared to share that knowledge so that even more people can know and understand what should and should not be done. :)

regarDS
Click to expand...

Seriously if people are that interested in knowing what to do when someone falls ill, they need to go and do a proper training course such as the First Aid ones organisation such as St Johns provide. They should not be relying on people on the net who may or may not be giving good advice.

You and I both know that had shared my knowledge as a health professional you would have found fault in that. Damned if I do and all that.

You cannot predict how people will react in different situations. We had a serious aggressive incident at work recently, a male who is usually first to react and intervene froze. No way would I damn him for that.
 
dobergirl said:
I am a world champion fainter (as anyone who knows me knows :D) and I do both. Sometimes it is like someone switching off a switch and down I go, within the time it takes to snap your fingers. Other times it's like my body turns to jelly and I sink down and go all tilty. Both types come from the same thing, in my case cerebral hypoperfusion (a symptom of a much bigger issue). Sometimes I am aware of what is happening, sometimes I am confused or have memory loss, sometimes I cannot speak properly afterwards, sometimes I can.
Click to expand...

Slackening off your corset may also help :p ;)
 
Last edited:
derspatz said:
Humour and sarcasm aside, I wonder what you would have done if you were on the panel or in the audience ? Would you have insisted he be immediately laid down on his side or made to sit with his head between his knees or something like that ?

Or would you already have been asleep thanks to Combet's droning ? :D

A pity "better-man" "Mr Community" Abbott wasn't there. Getup! stunt or not, as an experienced and trained life-saver he would not only have immediately known what to do, but also have taken necessary charge of the situation.
Click to expand...

Well, it didn't take long for me to have my question answered about what Mr Community PM-in-waiting Abbott would do.

See: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/nat...-accident-report/story-fn59niix-1226419675576

The Opposition leader was quick to render first aid, making sure the woman was in the right position and comfortable while waiting for an ambulance.

"He's qualified in first aid because of the work he does with surf life saving and the Rural Fire Service in NSW," the spokesman said.

The injured woman was taken to hospital.

The spokesman said Mr Abbott "was very concerned for the welfare of the rider".
Click to expand...

I wonder what Gillard would have done. Get her office to cause another "race riot" so she and any other pollie present could be hustled away from the scene by the police ? :D

regarDS
 
Good on Mr Abbott :) he has done exactly what I suggested was a wise move in my previous post, to do a recognized First Aid course. I have no idea how Ms Gillard would have responded I have no idea whether she is First Aid trained or not.
 
Since Ders made up an entire conspiracy scenario for Simon Sheikh fainting, I thought I'd do one for his idol.

Seeing Campbell Newman have a car accident, and then continue on his way to give a speech, Mr Abbott decided to go one better. He set up his own "accident" ... but decided to use a scooter as the other vehicle .... coz he didn't want to actually risk getting hurt himself. Scooter and car collide, Tony jumps out of car, races to nearest phone box, and rips off his suit to reveal nothing but a pair of red speedos and a cape. He then races to the injured woman, slips her a $50 for a job well done, and gives a big cheesy grin and thumbs up to the waiting paps. "My hero" sighs Ders *cue animation of little love hearts floating around his head*
 
pwta said:
Since Ders made up an entire conspiracy scenario for Simon Sheikh fainting, I thought I'd do one for his idol.

Seeing Campbell Newman have a car accident, and then continue on his way to give a speech, Mr Abbott decided to go one better. He set up his own "accident" ... but decided to use a scooter as the other vehicle .... coz he didn't want to actually risk getting hurt himself. Scooter and car collide, Tony jumps out of car, races to nearest phone box, and rips off his suit to reveal nothing but a pair of red speedos and a cape. He then races to the injured woman, slips her a $50 for a job well done, and gives a big cheesy grin and thumbs up to the waiting paps. "My hero" sighs Ders *cue animation of little love hearts floating around his head*
Click to expand...

And it's no more of a fairytale than most of what DS writes. *like*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top