My name is Benjamin Norris and from what I know... I appear to be one of the most hated winners of Big Brother EVER on this site.
And there were good reasons for that, as you are surely aware of. It's really not something to take pride in, which you appear to be, judging by your user description.
I have been a fan of this site since it first began. I have had a few different member names over the years, but I can't remember most of them. I usually came on here whilst I was auditioning to see if I could learn about the then upcoming series. This was over four different series - I tried out for BB in 2002, 2006, 2007 and 2012 - clearly I was only successful once. There have also been a few incidents on this site where people have claimed to be me.
Mentioning this in an attempt to ingratiate yourself won't work on me.
2) I am aware that some of my actions in Big Brother were irritable, wrong and sometimes very hard - even for me to watch. But in life we make mistakes and move on. (Hopefully learning from them.) However there is a lot about my time in the house that I am proud of.
You had many opportunities to learn from your mistakes in the house, and we saw you try to do that in the house, but I feel like you never really did, judging by the way you reacted to Estelle being evicted in third place on finale night, and the pathetic jibes against her throughout finale night (and the final week). You never had to like her, but was it so difficult to just be civil to her? Not even for one night, a night after which you'd never have to spend time with her again? Was it so hard to put the bitterness and bad feelings aside, and just respect and accept the fact that she had earned a place in the finale alongside yourself and Layla? The entitlement of so many of the BB9 housemates thinking they deserved a place in the house over her was something I never understood. Yes we make mistakes, and there were many times in that house where you did appear to realise your mistakes and try to learn from them. I am always willing to forgive a person when they show remorse for their actions. Many times, I grew to quite like you for this. I have a soft spot for flawed, but self-aware housemates who acknowledge their shitty behaviour and try to change, but I found that you’d do that, and then consistently revert back to the same shitty behaviour time and time again. Granted, people are likely to make the same mistakes more than once, but when it happens over and over, with no signs of change, you begin to get cynical.
3) My time with Estelle in Big Brother was very challenging - she was at times so hard to understand as a person because she was inconsistent. One moment grand standing one thing and then completely contradicting herself the next. Housemates would gather in rooms to discuss what to do about her daily. The real problems I had with her were never aired, but the reactions I had to her were! I honestly went up to her and told her "I have been saying this OR I have been saying that" I bitched about her to her face as well as behind her back. I would love to discuss with you all the things I found problematic about Estelle, but for reasons of 'letting go' and out of respect for her I will not as it would just seem pathetic to go over. My season of Big Brother would not have been the same without her. She put in an amazing effort and to be honest I believe she was the back bone to the series. Every housemate went on a roller coaster with her and that made for great television.
It really doesn’t matter how much of a contradiction facets of her character were, it doesn’t matter how annoying or frustrating she was to live with. The way you and your housemates handled her in the house was appalling. It didn’t make for great television; it was downright uncomfortable to watch. There’s a difference between discussing your problems and airing your grievances with someone, and being openly rude and hostile towards them. You and your housemates took it way too far on many occasions and became unnecessarily hostile, simply because you all found her annoying and she just wouldn’t get evicted. She never really did say a bad word about the other housemates, yet you were all convinced that she had to be faking it. Maybe it made you all feel better about the way you treated her to think that she was slagging you off in kind in the diary room?
P.S: While last year I went on a holiday to the Gold Coast with Estelle, I can sadly say we are not friends. I have deleted every social media connection with her - The reason for this is that I was sick of A) hating myself for what had been and could never be changed. B) worrying about her because she worried me. C) Feeling betrayed by the comments she made about me to mutual friends.
You shouldn’t hate yourself for your past behaviour if you’ve made genuine attempts towards self-improvement. I don’t know what has gone on between you and her since the finale, whether you two truly made up and tried to put the past in the past, and it’s really none of my business, but it’s not hard to understand why she might still be bitter about what happened in that house. It was pretty bad.
NOW, I am on back on here officially to have fun. I love Behind Big Brother people for their passion. I am highly emotional and do say the wrong thing from time to time, most of the time I then try to apologise. At the end of the day I want to share with you my backstage look at the new series for Scoopla. I want you to post what you would like to know and in return I will do my very best to get your answers.
And here is the crux of it. Shameless self-promotion.
I’m not going to pretend I liked you as a housemate. That said, I am willing to forgive someone when they can admit to and show remorse for their past mistakes; everyone is flawed, but I’ll need more convincing. You have to understand why some of us are cynical.
