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Confessions and interesting facts about yourself

Kismet said:
Aww..

Hi Theorist:thumbsup:

We could always arrange to do a Pantomime of sorts using sock puppets to "re-live" this season here, LIVE on BBB! :thumbsup:
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Pantomimes always remind me of the BB01 live televised pantomime of Cinderella they did for charity in 2001. :inlove:

But yes! Let's do that!
 
CaspersMum said:
Oh I hear you!! I went decades without going to the dentist due to a rough dentist when I was young and a paralyzing fear.

When I finally went a few years ago, I had to have 9 teeth pulled. At once. I had so much Novocaine I could have stopped a train with my face and never felt a thing.

I dream about my teeth falling out all the time too.[DOUBLEPOST=1415441661][/DOUBLEPOST]
Oh my gosh you poor thing!!! :(
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David's beard said:
:frown:
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mutleyp said:
Anti Anxiety meds?
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Sorry, I kinda suck at the multi quote thingy, so bear with me. ;)

@CaspersMum - I had to quit work 3 years ago due to it, so that really sucked. I really enjoyed my job but I can't control my symptoms and I couldn't keep calling in sick due to symptoms without completely pissing everyone off.
@David's beard - it's ok. Massive life changes have helped a bit :)
@mutleyp - meds are only part of the treatment. Neurologists and psychiatrists still fight over what to do with it. Thankfully, I know the signs when something is going to hit now, so I can take measures myself, but I can be out of action for days sometimes. It's very similar to PTSD.
 
CaspersMum said:
Oh I hear you!! I went decades without going to the dentist due to a rough dentist when I was young and a paralyzing fear.

When I finally went a few years ago, I had to have 9 teeth pulled. At once. I had so much Novocaine I could have stopped a train with my face and never felt a thing.

I dream about my teeth falling out all the time too.[DOUBLEPOST=1415441661][/DOUBLEPOST]
Oh my gosh you poor thing!!! :(
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ewwww that's so horrible... what a shame to lose all those teeth...

I used to be scared of dentists too but after having wisdom teeth out there's nothing much worse they can do
 
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

However, I do believe that Australian society fails to recognise mental health issues. I am fully aware that my circumstances have not been the worst, and I've never had the worst possible depression. I've never been tempted to hurt myself, and I'm fully aware many people do experience this or regardless are just suffering a lot more. I think it's just really important for people to look out for their loved one's mental health and be there as much as they can for people. I have always had a few people who were able to help me help myself. I don't believe my personal issues will ever be resolved, but I just work to suppress and temporarily resolve them when they emerge. Every time I managed to resolve them, the trend appears to be that they get better (less severe) over time.

Sorry that this isn't particularly well/clearly written. I really struggle to talk about the topic.

I'd just like to say: Please be aware of the wide-ranging impacts that issues can have on people's mental health. Do your best to seek help from others, and do not despair if this doesn't help. There's always someone who can help you, often in conjunction with your own hard work xxxx
 
Thank you for sharing, @lefrancais

nl54xu.gif
 
lefrancais said:
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

.
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I don't know what else to say besides (((hugs))) and thank you so much for sharing such a difficult story. It was incredibly well written and heart felt. I know I sound lame and I'm sorry for that, but thank you.
 
lefrancais said:
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

However, I do believe that Australian society fails to recognise mental health issues. I am fully aware that my circumstances have not been the worst, and I've never had the worst possible depression. I've never been tempted to hurt myself, and I'm fully aware many people do experience this or regardless are just suffering a lot more. I think it's just really important for people to look out for their loved one's mental health and be there as much as they can for people. I have always had a few people who were able to help me help myself. I don't believe my personal issues will ever be resolved, but I just work to suppress and temporarily resolve them when they emerge. Every time I managed to resolve them, the trend appears to be that they get better (less severe) over time.

Sorry that this isn't particularly well/clearly written. I really struggle to talk about the topic.

I'd just like to say: Please be aware of the wide-ranging impacts that issues can have on people's mental health. Do your best to seek help from others, and do not despair if this doesn't help. There's always someone who can help you, often in conjunction with your own hard work xxxx
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Cudos to you, that must of been very hard to write, but sometimes writing it down and sharing your pain may help..... Here is a big hug xxx
 
It hasn't ever ended well in the past, so I'd much rather just enjoy real ones! :p
 
NineGirl said:
Sorry, I kinda suck at the multi quote thingy, so bear with me. ;)

@CaspersMum - I had to quit work 3 years ago due to it, so that really sucked. I really enjoyed my job but I can't control my symptoms and I couldn't keep calling in sick due to symptoms without completely pissing everyone off.
@David's beard - it's ok. Massive life changes have helped a bit :)
@mutleyp - meds are only part of the treatment. Neurologists and psychiatrists still fight over what to do with it. Thankfully, I know the signs when something is going to hit now, so I can take measures myself, but I can be out of action for days sometimes. It's very similar to PTSD.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story, my heart goes out for you, and the strength you have is incredible! So impressed! and Im glad you have become an unlurker now :D
 
lefrancais said:
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

However, I do believe that Australian society fails to recognise mental health issues. I am fully aware that my circumstances have not been the worst, and I've never had the worst possible depression. I've never been tempted to hurt myself, and I'm fully aware many people do experience this or regardless are just suffering a lot more. I think it's just really important for people to look out for their loved one's mental health and be there as much as they can for people. I have always had a few people who were able to help me help myself. I don't believe my personal issues will ever be resolved, but I just work to suppress and temporarily resolve them when they emerge. Every time I managed to resolve them, the trend appears to be that they get better (less severe) over time.

Sorry that this isn't particularly well/clearly written. I really struggle to talk about the topic.

I'd just like to say: Please be aware of the wide-ranging impacts that issues can have on people's mental health. Do your best to seek help from others, and do not despair if this doesn't help. There's always someone who can help you, often in conjunction with your own hard work xxxx
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Thank you for sharing!
 
lefrancais said:
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

However, I do believe that Australian society fails to recognise mental health issues. I am fully aware that my circumstances have not been the worst, and I've never had the worst possible depression. I've never been tempted to hurt myself, and I'm fully aware many people do experience this or regardless are just suffering a lot more. I think it's just really important for people to look out for their loved one's mental health and be there as much as they can for people. I have always had a few people who were able to help me help myself. I don't believe my personal issues will ever be resolved, but I just work to suppress and temporarily resolve them when they emerge. Every time I managed to resolve them, the trend appears to be that they get better (less severe) over time.

Sorry that this isn't particularly well/clearly written. I really struggle to talk about the topic.

I'd just like to say: Please be aware of the wide-ranging impacts that issues can have on people's mental health. Do your best to seek help from others, and do not despair if this doesn't help. There's always someone who can help you, often in conjunction with your own hard work xxxx
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it helps to write about it I think...
 
If anyone is interested in reading up on Conversion Disorder, Wiki actually gets it pretty right here:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_disorder

I did not suffer from one singular trauma - more like a series of crap over many years. After years of seeing neurologists, and being told I was crazy, one finally steered me in the right direction. I also have a small fiber peripheral neuropathy, which means I can not feel much in my feet and hands (I burn myself often as I can't feel heat), so I copped the double whammy of that and the CD.

I can no longer walk long distances without aids (I use crutches and a mobility scooter) and as I type this, my right eye is playing up, so the glasses are on.

Thank you so much for the love so far x
 
Okay I have a really goofy one:

When I was at Uni I shared a townhouse with three other girls. It was a housing complex mostly housing students.

The townhouse next to ours at the end of our building also had four girls living in it and they would all go home on the weekends. Two of my roommates and I were always there.

We got sooooo bored one night sitting around we decided to break in to the neighbour's townhouse next door and change all their furniture around! We knew how easy it was to break in to these places since on more than one occasion we had all left our keys behind at the same time and had to break into our own.

So one of the roomies stood out the front as a lookout and would knock on the door if someone was coming, so hypothetically we could hide.

While we were changing the furniture around our friend starts knocking on the door. Me and the other girl were running into each other and I think actually managed to turn on about every light int he place trying to get to the bathroom to hide. Luckily for us it was a false alarm. Our friend out the front said, "WTF! Are you guys trying to get caught doing this!!" *snort*

Needless to say we waited with baited breath until the girls came home the following day. Listening to them shriek when they went in was hilarious. They came and asked us if we had heard anything at all. Oh no.

They never did know it was us. The things you do when you're bored at Uni. :biggrin:
 
lefrancais said:
Ever since this thread got going again, I've contemplated posting another confession. I've finally decided that I think it's best for those among us to recognise the extent mental diseases can harm anyone, of any age.

After my mum died, when I was six, I developed depression before I was ever able to appreciate what it was. I thought I was just seeing a counsellor to make me feel generally happier, and never realised how down I was. For the first month afterwards I would refuse to go to school unless my Dad came and sat with me for the whole day. For the next five months, he had to stay with me until the end of recess. I also subconsciously forced myself to forget things I had learnt from my mother. My mum and older cousin (when he stayed at our house for a few months) had taught me how to ride a bike without trainer wheels. I could no longer do it, and would burst into tears when asked to get on bike without them (I think it was another two years until I took them off again). My mother had also taught me how to do mathematics to the level of a fifth or sixth grade student, and I was reading novels aimed at young adults. I spontaneously lost the ability for a while to excel in maths, and refused to read any books that were not children's ones that my mum had read me at night. I also shunned my friends who had not personally known my mother well. I spent all of my time with those few friends who I'd always had over, and who my mum knew well. To me, the other kids couldn't comprehend my mother. Adding to this, some kids bullied me for not having a mother anymore (God, people are horrible).

Over the years, my Mother's death has been particularly hard for me. I've never really gotten on with my Dad and little sister. They're just really different to me, I was much more similar to my mum. I love them, of course, but there's a lot of friction in my household. Anyway, my primary school really looked after me, making sure after the first few months that no one gave me trouble etc. However, when I got to high school, people began bullying me for being different. I began counselling at school, and the school determined that I was extremely traumatised by my Mother's death (albeit not depressed) and it took me a while to understand why I was different. I've always strived to maintain as much similarity to my mother as possible, and for that reason, the way that I tackle problems is often considered "feministic", although I would never call myself a true feminist.

This counselling never helped resolve the issue. Two years later I had multiple breakdowns, involving social and family issues. I resumed counselling at school, and was then referred to another private counsellor. This time I was told that I was mildly depressed, and much of it again stemmed from the death of my Mum, although this wasn't the only factor. I'd developed a reliance on people who looked out for me, and did not at all handle betrayal/abandonment well - attributed to Mum's death. It helped clear up the family issues for a while and I was able to move on from the social issues. But it never really fixed what was wrong with me indefinitely, and I've realised since that only I can ever truly fix myself.

Since then, I have gone through periods of being extremely upset. These periods are often marked by not sleeping, crying fits and mistrust of others, amongst other things. I hate people who throw around the term "depressed" by self-diagnosis, but I do believe that I was depressed earlier this year. The problem for me is that I hide how things have affected me, and people I know are not in a position to realise for themselves (not that I expect them to). Through a lot of hard thought, reflection and character building, I have again managed to pull myself out of this slump. I've had a really good few weeks recently, and am trying to repair damage that was done. This particular time, I have shut out a large proportion of my friends, and now I will have to apologise knowing full well that there's no point in explaining my behaviour.

However, I do believe that Australian society fails to recognise mental health issues. I am fully aware that my circumstances have not been the worst, and I've never had the worst possible depression. I've never been tempted to hurt myself, and I'm fully aware many people do experience this or regardless are just suffering a lot more. I think it's just really important for people to look out for their loved one's mental health and be there as much as they can for people. I have always had a few people who were able to help me help myself. I don't believe my personal issues will ever be resolved, but I just work to suppress and temporarily resolve them when they emerge. Every time I managed to resolve them, the trend appears to be that they get better (less severe) over time.

Sorry that this isn't particularly well/clearly written. I really struggle to talk about the topic.

I'd just like to say: Please be aware of the wide-ranging impacts that issues can have on people's mental health. Do your best to seek help from others, and do not despair if this doesn't help. There's always someone who can help you, often in conjunction with your own hard work xxxx
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It was beautifully written. People handle grief on their own terms and in their own way, hence the cookie cutter "solutions" or way of dealing weren't right for you. You're right when you say the only one who can "fix" you is you as you are the one to live with YOU in every way, shape and form, 24/7. That's growth and you should be proud of yourself.
 
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