And that is the way to go. Ben's advice to Ray in the bathroom is the worst ( I think deliberately so). Getting Ben out of the way and saying his thing to Sarah that evening (or at least, getting told by Sarah that she doesn't want to deal with him that evening), shows that he cares about her feelings and wants to be sure she is alright. Ben would love to make it look like
Ben cares about Sarah's feelings, and Ray just causes trouble and slinks off until the storm dies down, and then says sorry nicely just before the noms.
I think there is more to this than we are being allowed to see - from what we can see, there is a cut between 0:18 and 0:19(Michael announces 'Smother in the House' and Sarah kicks Ray in the arse, apparently without provocation) and she doesn't seem to raise any objection until Ray pushes
George onto the dance floor, and straight into her (1:10 - right on the edit, but you can tell that there was considerable force because George appears to have teleported about a metre. I am guessing he didn't go sprawling because he bounced off Sarah ). There also seems to be a bit of objectionable behaviour from Bradley that we miss most of (He boos Sarah when she suggests less violence, and he does a little bit of ripping the hat off Sarah's head (Micheal saying 'Boys on one side, Girls on the other'), in imitation of Ray, and Ray might have pushed Bradley before that as well (When Estelle first comes onto the dance floor, Bradley is her partner, then George comes in.
If you look at Zoe's re-enactment of the event in (3:25-3:26), it is not actually ripping the hat off Josh's head, but a blow to the side of Josh's head that is hard enough to knock his hat off. if you try to get a bead on Zoe's pov of the event, you can't (it cuts away while Michael goes 'it's confusion' and then only shows the dancers from the waist down) Layla admits that she had her head turned away when the action happened, and in all the footage we have, she is watching the dance floor. Michael obviously saw nothing to worry about - and I think if he had seen any violent act, he would not have ignored it, would not have said anything like 'it pisses me off when girls just won't admit it' whatever 'it' is. In fact, none of the boys seem to have seen anything.
It also seems to have been made into a much bigger deal after the fact, or to have included some further aggravation between the time Ray apologised on the dance floor and the time Sarah went to the bedroom. By the time she is in the bedroom (drinking chocolate milk!) she is saying that it was shock as much as anything and that it
isn't a big deal, but by that point the boys seem to think it is a big deal and necessary to consult the rules (their rules seem to be a lot more detailed than the ones on the website). Maybe Big Brother has said something to stir them up by then. When Josh says that Ray was just dancing with his back to her, Sarah explains that it was more than that - although exactly what beyond 'he pushed me a couple of times' is drowned by Josh and Zoe.
I am not sure if Ray has underestimated his strength, or if he is pulling an old body-builders trick (when you have a big frame and a lot of muscle, you can get some surprisingly forceful jabs in without other people noticing what you are doing - a version of 'Why are you hitting yourself?'), but I don't think Sarah is complaining of the things we are seeing. From the video it looks like she gave at least as much as she got, and there has been a ridiculous drama over absolutely nothing, much later on and Ray did nothing wrong at all.