Chris the sink pisser:..."yeah anyway Danielle... we're obviously the 'odd ones out' in this house so we need to erm... 'stick together' so to speak"...
Danielle:... "aye... I guess so... but I have to say that I don't really know what you're talking about because I went to a girls finishing school for young ladies and don't really understand 'common talk' I'm afraid"...
Chris the sink pisser:... "well it means that I wouldn't mind shagging you because..."...
Jale:... "Oi!... numbnuts!... get da fuck away from 'er... she told us that she's a virgin an' she don't need you to be 'anging off 'er... so sod off!"...
Chris the sink pisser:... "but I was only..."...
Jale:... "yeah I know exactly wot you were 'only' going to want... so naff off!... (Jale takes a few puffs on her cigarette)... fuckin' slug-ball sink pisser"...
...(Chris the sink pisser slowly skulks off)...
Jale:..."alright Danielle... you're wiv me... come an sit ova 'ere and we'll 'ave a chat eh?"...
Danielle:... "ooooh thankyou Jale'... I wasn't too sure what Chris was talking about because I went to a girls finishing school for young ladies and don't really understand 'common tal'... oh beg my pardon... I mean uncommonly tall people like him"...
Jale:... "um... yeah woteva... any'ow... wots' wiv the
Jale' shit?... me names
Jale wivout da fancy bit on the end okay?... wot do you do for a crust Danielle?"... (Takes another puff)...
Danielle:... "a crust?... oh I'm so sorry Jale' but I don't really know what you're talking about because I went to a girls finishing school for young ladies and don't really understand"...
Jale:..."oh me fuckin' gawd... cut the fuckin'
Jale' shit... it's
Jale wivout da fancy bit on the end get it?... an' cut the... 'I've been to fuckin' finishin' school'... shit alright miss fuckin' lah-de-dah or else me an' you are gonna 'ave a barney alright?... (Danielle nods her head)... wot do ya do for a job... you know... wot do ya do to earn money?"... (another couple of puffs)...
Danielle:... "oh!... now I understand!... well... I'm a 'webcam housewife' girl"...
Jale:..."do wot?... wot da fuck is a 'webcam 'ousewife girl' when it's at 'ome?"... (a quick puff)...
Danielle:... "well what it is... men ring me up and talk to me and then pay me money... lots of money in fact!"...
Jale:..."wot da fuck?... wot... are you a sex-line operator or sumfing?"... (a couple of more deep puffs)...
Danielle:... "oooh no!... there's no sex involved... I'm a virgin you know!"... and also I've been to a girls finishing school for young ladies after all"...
Jale:... "you fuckin' say dat one more time and I'll nut ya miss fuckin' la-de-dah!... now!... are you tellin' me that geezers ring you up an' talk to you and then pay you money for it?... wot type of blokes talk to you?"... (puff puff puff)...
Danielle:... "all different types... bankers... politicians... TV stars..."...
Jale:... "ow much do ya get paid for dis?"... (lots of deep quick puffs)...
Danielle:... "well because I'm a good Catholic virgin girl I get paid 10 pounds a minute!"...
...(Jale swallows her cigarette)...
Jale:... "1o! ...
10!... 10 fuckin' quid a minute???????... 10 fuckin' quid a fuckin' minute???????... 'ow da fuck... 'ow da fuck does a virgin make... make... make... there's not a fuckin virgin on this bleedin' planet dat can make 10 fuckin' quid a minute from a man wivout layin on 'er bleedin' back for it!... no fuckin' way!''...
Danielle:... "I've also got lots of boyfriends and they're all footballers... they treat me like a lady because I'm a virgin and have been to a ladies fini... um... because I'm a good virginal Catholic girl"...
Jale:... "you've gotta be tugging my fuckin' chain... you're 'aving a lend of me ain't ya????... you've got lots of fuckin' footballer boyfriends and you're still a fuckin' virgin?... ow da fuck do ya make dat much money and 'ave footballer boyfriends and still stay a fuckin' virgin?????...
'ow can ya???????"...
Danielle:..."it's a service I provide... and that's helping someone and obviously our faith believes to help people and that's exactly what I feel I'm doing... is there something wrong with that Jale'?... I don't understand?"...
Jale:... "you're a fuckin' online sex worker an' you make 10 fuckin' quid a fuckin' minute and ere's me getting rid of dat slug-ball sink pisser Chris because I thought you was a fuckin' poor innocent fuckin' virgin...
DAT'S WOTS FUCKIN' WRONG MISS LA-DE-FUCKIN'-DAH CATHOLIC VIRGIN GIRL!!!!!"...
...(Jale gets up and 'nut's her'... (headbutts her)... Danielle drops to the ground)...
...(all of the other housemates coming running over)... Chris the sink pisser asks what's happening...
...(Jale starts to storm off)...
Jale:..."a fuckin' virgin my fuckin' arse!!!!... she's yours slug-ball sink pisser... I hope you've got ya credit card on ya and 'ave a lot of dosh in da fuckin' bank mate!!!!...
fuckin' keep calling me JALE' the posh bitch!...I'll fuckin' give 'er fuckin' Jale'... wot a fuckin' lying bitch!!!!!... she's played us all for prize plonkers she 'as!!!!!... Bitch!!!!!"...
...(Jale storms off to the Diary room to be evicted)...
...(Danielle wakes up to find Chris the sink pisser fondling her tits)...
Danielle:... "oooooh what... what happened?... hey what are you doing fondling my virgin Catholic girl breasts???"...
Chris the sink pisser:... "oh!... erm... um... I was just making sure that they weren't fractured or something... you might have fractured your... um... frontal clavicallic breastal platus... but don't worry... they're okay... both of them... they're so bloody alright...they're so... um... erm... best to be safe than sorry eh?"...
Danielle:... "oooooh!... I guess so... okay... thankyou... oh!... I have such a bad headache!"...
Chris the sink pisser:... "right then... how about a shag?"...
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...as I say... she wants to be careful playing the 'virgin Catholic girl' card within the house... she could come so undone by it...
... cheers.