hooleydooley
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What would reepbot say?
- Thread starter delcan
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kxk
SAPIOSEXUAL
Faraway Tree is one of my favourites, and I thought of the Wishing Chair - the chair with wings when i saw your speech @reepbot .
But alas, you spoke of becoming a boring ordinary chair, and I drifted off - I don't care, and this should be written horror style.
To turn into a chair is horrible, you should be screaming for help.
Have you read Kafka, Metamorphosis ? He turns into something, short story and easy reading.
And did you watch any Once Upon a Time, series? Pinocchio became wood, it was nasty, just bits at first.
Do you want another Who Am I, not sports related?
But alas, you spoke of becoming a boring ordinary chair, and I drifted off - I don't care, and this should be written horror style.
To turn into a chair is horrible, you should be screaming for help.
Have you read Kafka, Metamorphosis ? He turns into something, short story and easy reading.
And did you watch any Once Upon a Time, series? Pinocchio became wood, it was nasty, just bits at first.
Do you want another Who Am I, not sports related?
kxk
SAPIOSEXUAL
Who am I?
I am a controversial UK journalist - this one should be easier for you
Not just the pain of the changing being an issue, it is what you are left becoming, how hideous, inanimate, blind, deaf, dumb.
You would be better off becoming a Dalek .
Ooo do a Doctor Who speech, then you find out if you have any cool whovians in your group")
Or about the Moff, and how you have loved him for decades and several TV shows
I am a controversial UK journalist - this one should be easier for you
Not just the pain of the changing being an issue, it is what you are left becoming, how hideous, inanimate, blind, deaf, dumb.
You would be better off becoming a Dalek .
Ooo do a Doctor Who speech, then you find out if you have any cool whovians in your group")
Or about the Moff, and how you have loved him for decades and several TV shows
Columbo
Never again
Who am I?
I am a controversial UK journalist - this one should be easier for you
Not just the pain of the changing being an issue, it is what you are left becoming, how hideous, inanimate, blind, deaf, dumb.
You would be better off becoming a Dalek .
Ooo do a Doctor Who speech, then you find out if you have any cool whovians in your group")
Or about the Moff, and how you have loved him for decades and several TV shows
Those are good ideas. But i want to make my speech silly and absurd.
Columbo
Never again
Columbo
Never again
Thank you Mister/Madame Toastmaster.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you a story about the time I was almost turned into a mint chocolate bar by a malicious magical magpie.
It was a balmy Sunday afternoon, nearing to sunset, when it first began. I was taking a leisurely stroll around my local park. Passing pavement pounding pensioners, dodging dangerously daredevil dogs, and cursing crazed carless cyclists. Walking is something I like to because it give me a chance to think about things such the feasibility of robotic dogs climbing Mount Everest, or the best type of pizza to eat on a Tuesday in autumn. I had just begun thinking about how much peanut butter one could take to Mars for a year when I saw a magpie fly right over and hover above me, eventually landing about three feet away from me. I could see that this particular magpie wore a magician’s hat which indicated to me that he might be some sort of magician, or might really just like hats.
‘You there.’ It intoned in a deep mocking voice.
‘Yes?’ I replied, my eyebrows furrowed and soul guarded.
‘I have seen you from afar for many months now and witnessed the disrespect you have shown this park and its inhabitants. Watched you scare poor little mosquitos by slapping them, trample on grass, and walk right through spider webs! I have decided that in three days’ time I am going to turn you into a mint chocolate bar!’
‘No, no, no. Please don’t do that!’ My knees grazed the pavement along with my dignity.
‘I will not be persuaded by your Machiavellian manipulations. You will be here in exactly three days’ time. Now be away with you foolish creature!’ The magpie cried out.
Almost as quickly as it had arrived, the magpie then flew off into the distance.
Heart gasping. Mind locked. I staggered home. The next few days became a swirl of nothing. All I could think about was how to prevent this magpie from turning me into a chocolate bar. I must confess, I did think of running away. Leaving my home and going interstate. However I knew that the magpie would find me. I could not hide forever. Sooner or later I would have to face my destiny. That didn’t mean that I couldn’t fight back though. Wake up my brain and take it for a stroll. Using the vast resources of the library, a place where you can travel without having to take a step, I started looking up ways to fight magic magpies. What I found was quite illuminating. There were some books that recommended three quartz dragon’s blood. Which was a problem as I didn’t know any dragons, and if I did I was hardly going to ask them for blood. Friendship can only go so far. However I did find another alternative. Umbrellas were meant to be really good at repelling magic magpies. Which was good news for me as I had an umbrella at home that could help me against this determined devil. The only thing that concerned me was whether it could work.
It was here. The day had come. I tried to have breakfast, but breakfast wouldn’t have me. Lunch just laughed. Minutes became stuck. Time had broken its ankle and was limping. Finally, the clock struck five, and I put on my shoes to drag me to all my yesterdays. I had decided to bring the umbrella with me. The fateful spot was not that far from my house. Half an hour’s walk at best. I briskly made my way to the area where the malevolent magpie was waiting for me.
‘Good. You have arrived. Now stand perfectly still while I curse you.’ Said the magpie.
Hands clenched like a bug on a cookie, I gulped and looked the magpie straight in the eye.
‘No.’
‘What did you say to me, you insolent irritant?’
‘I said…no.’
With hungry hands and a soaring spirit, I opened up my umbrella and pointed it straight at the magpie. Immediately it recoiled. Blinded by a flash of red light that was coming from my weapon of choice.
‘Noooooooooo! Stop it! Please. I beg of you!’ Screamed out the magpie, its entire self slowly melting away like ice cream on a cone.
Within a couple of minutes the magpie had gone. Erased from earth for all eternity. I could dream again. With a strained smile and watchful eyes I headed back home. Looking forward, never back.
That is the story of how I almost became a mint flavoured chocolate bar. From then on I always carried my trusty umbrella, even if the sun was scorching skin and heating hermits, with me whenever I went out for a walk.
That concludes my speech Madam/Mister Toastmaster.
how is that @hooleydooley?
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you a story about the time I was almost turned into a mint chocolate bar by a malicious magical magpie.
It was a balmy Sunday afternoon, nearing to sunset, when it first began. I was taking a leisurely stroll around my local park. Passing pavement pounding pensioners, dodging dangerously daredevil dogs, and cursing crazed carless cyclists. Walking is something I like to because it give me a chance to think about things such the feasibility of robotic dogs climbing Mount Everest, or the best type of pizza to eat on a Tuesday in autumn. I had just begun thinking about how much peanut butter one could take to Mars for a year when I saw a magpie fly right over and hover above me, eventually landing about three feet away from me. I could see that this particular magpie wore a magician’s hat which indicated to me that he might be some sort of magician, or might really just like hats.
‘You there.’ It intoned in a deep mocking voice.
‘Yes?’ I replied, my eyebrows furrowed and soul guarded.
‘I have seen you from afar for many months now and witnessed the disrespect you have shown this park and its inhabitants. Watched you scare poor little mosquitos by slapping them, trample on grass, and walk right through spider webs! I have decided that in three days’ time I am going to turn you into a mint chocolate bar!’
‘No, no, no. Please don’t do that!’ My knees grazed the pavement along with my dignity.
‘I will not be persuaded by your Machiavellian manipulations. You will be here in exactly three days’ time. Now be away with you foolish creature!’ The magpie cried out.
Almost as quickly as it had arrived, the magpie then flew off into the distance.
Heart gasping. Mind locked. I staggered home. The next few days became a swirl of nothing. All I could think about was how to prevent this magpie from turning me into a chocolate bar. I must confess, I did think of running away. Leaving my home and going interstate. However I knew that the magpie would find me. I could not hide forever. Sooner or later I would have to face my destiny. That didn’t mean that I couldn’t fight back though. Wake up my brain and take it for a stroll. Using the vast resources of the library, a place where you can travel without having to take a step, I started looking up ways to fight magic magpies. What I found was quite illuminating. There were some books that recommended three quartz dragon’s blood. Which was a problem as I didn’t know any dragons, and if I did I was hardly going to ask them for blood. Friendship can only go so far. However I did find another alternative. Umbrellas were meant to be really good at repelling magic magpies. Which was good news for me as I had an umbrella at home that could help me against this determined devil. The only thing that concerned me was whether it could work.
It was here. The day had come. I tried to have breakfast, but breakfast wouldn’t have me. Lunch just laughed. Minutes became stuck. Time had broken its ankle and was limping. Finally, the clock struck five, and I put on my shoes to drag me to all my yesterdays. I had decided to bring the umbrella with me. The fateful spot was not that far from my house. Half an hour’s walk at best. I briskly made my way to the area where the malevolent magpie was waiting for me.
‘Good. You have arrived. Now stand perfectly still while I curse you.’ Said the magpie.
Hands clenched like a bug on a cookie, I gulped and looked the magpie straight in the eye.
‘No.’
‘What did you say to me, you insolent irritant?’
‘I said…no.’
With hungry hands and a soaring spirit, I opened up my umbrella and pointed it straight at the magpie. Immediately it recoiled. Blinded by a flash of red light that was coming from my weapon of choice.
‘Noooooooooo! Stop it! Please. I beg of you!’ Screamed out the magpie, its entire self slowly melting away like ice cream on a cone.
Within a couple of minutes the magpie had gone. Erased from earth for all eternity. I could dream again. With a strained smile and watchful eyes I headed back home. Looking forward, never back.
That is the story of how I almost became a mint flavoured chocolate bar. From then on I always carried my trusty umbrella, even if the sun was scorching skin and heating hermits, with me whenever I went out for a walk.
That concludes my speech Madam/Mister Toastmaster.
how is that @hooleydooley?
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