...Day 11 of ‘self isolation’lockdown:... today I had a little time on my hands so I decided to write a POEM!... that’s right… a poem!... I bet that you didn’t think that you’re old Uncle Sticky had it in him did you?... well here it is in all of its glory!... it’s about the importance of self grooming during the dastardly Coronavirus and it's really unexpected but pleasureable side effect!... so here we go… I’ve called it:...
The importance of self grooming during the dastardly Coronavirus and it’s really unexpected but pleasureable side effect!
...I’m at home because of the friggin’ Coronavirus…
...the bitch next door is playing Miley Cyrus..
...instead of going over and threatening to hurt her…
...or even worse… in committing murder…..
...I’ve decided instead to prevent what’s looming…
...to indulge instead in some personal grooming…
...because I’m 67 years old I’m getting quite hairy…
...I’m starting to look so very very scarey!...
…I grabbed my shaver and shaved my balding head...
…”you look like Hannibal Lecter!” It’s often been said…
...then I started on my face which I’m told isn’t pretty…
...I can’t help that so don’t show me your pity!...
...as I did my face I saw some nasal hairs in my nose…
…I thought to myself “I’ll do them too I suppose!”...
...when blowflies die they go up an old mans snout…
...you know because you see their hairy legs hanging out…
...I found my nasal clippers and shaved them really quick…
...being very careful not to hurt my newly shaven top lip…
...now let me have a good look… what’s left to do?...
...of course!... my ears!... I’ve gotta do them too!...
...I figured that my nasal clippers would work on them aswell...
...if you’re not supposed to use it on them… what the hell!...
...I started on my ears and can hear your sarcasm…
...I pushed it in too far and nearly had an orgasm!...
...the vibration in my ear really rattled my brain…
…”hm!... I might just have to do that all over again!”...
...as I did it a second time it made me shiver…
...I did it over and over until it made me quiver!...
...I decided that I’d had enough of this weird little pleasure…
...but it’s a new discovery that I will always treasure!...
…who would ever think grooming could be such fun!...
...I’ve got a hairy arse but that’s not even in the run!...
...I know in these times we’ve gotta find things to do..
...that is why I’ve told this story to all of you…
...but self grooming can be fun in a certain way…
...just don’t let it take up your entire day!...
...people may think that I’m going quite mad…
...self isolation can be fun and make you glad!...
...they say only two people can be together at one time…
...but what of the ten other voices in my mind?...
...can I be arrested because the law is being abused?...
… I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I’M SO CONFUSED!.
".................................THE END
...well there you have it… ‘self grooming’ does have some benefits for your best chance of survival during this dastardly Coronavirus outbreak my friends… make sure that you practice it!...
...just consider it as my part of a ‘public announcement’ to make it all easier for our chance of survival at the moment if you like!... what do you mean my sweet darling wife?... “you’re going mad you idiot!”... me?... going mad?... I’m going to tell this bunch of celery you said that… they’re my newest best friends at the moment!... mad indeed!...cheers.
The importance of self grooming during the dastardly Coronavirus and it’s really unexpected but pleasureable side effect!
...I’m at home because of the friggin’ Coronavirus…
...the bitch next door is playing Miley Cyrus..
...instead of going over and threatening to hurt her…
...or even worse… in committing murder…..
...I’ve decided instead to prevent what’s looming…
...to indulge instead in some personal grooming…
...because I’m 67 years old I’m getting quite hairy…
...I’m starting to look so very very scarey!...
…I grabbed my shaver and shaved my balding head...
…”you look like Hannibal Lecter!” It’s often been said…
...then I started on my face which I’m told isn’t pretty…
...I can’t help that so don’t show me your pity!...
...as I did my face I saw some nasal hairs in my nose…
…I thought to myself “I’ll do them too I suppose!”...
...when blowflies die they go up an old mans snout…
...you know because you see their hairy legs hanging out…
...I found my nasal clippers and shaved them really quick…
...being very careful not to hurt my newly shaven top lip…
...now let me have a good look… what’s left to do?...
...of course!... my ears!... I’ve gotta do them too!...
...I figured that my nasal clippers would work on them aswell...
...if you’re not supposed to use it on them… what the hell!...
...I started on my ears and can hear your sarcasm…
...I pushed it in too far and nearly had an orgasm!...
...the vibration in my ear really rattled my brain…
…”hm!... I might just have to do that all over again!”...
...as I did it a second time it made me shiver…
...I did it over and over until it made me quiver!...
...I decided that I’d had enough of this weird little pleasure…
...but it’s a new discovery that I will always treasure!...
…who would ever think grooming could be such fun!...
...I’ve got a hairy arse but that’s not even in the run!...
...I know in these times we’ve gotta find things to do..
...that is why I’ve told this story to all of you…
...but self grooming can be fun in a certain way…
...just don’t let it take up your entire day!...
...people may think that I’m going quite mad…
...self isolation can be fun and make you glad!...
...they say only two people can be together at one time…
...but what of the ten other voices in my mind?...
...can I be arrested because the law is being abused?...
… I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I’M SO CONFUSED!.
".................................THE END
...well there you have it… ‘self grooming’ does have some benefits for your best chance of survival during this dastardly Coronavirus outbreak my friends… make sure that you practice it!...
...just consider it as my part of a ‘public announcement’ to make it all easier for our chance of survival at the moment if you like!... what do you mean my sweet darling wife?... “you’re going mad you idiot!”... me?... going mad?... I’m going to tell this bunch of celery you said that… they’re my newest best friends at the moment!... mad indeed!...cheers.
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