I've decided that, as a family member, you have to tell the girl to pursue Ben 100% and if things go belly up the family is there to support. This whole attitude of living scared of being hurt leads to being hurt anyway.
I believe that Ben is just going with what he feels, but man... there's a reason why they're not supposed to say anything till the end. Firstly it raises exectations and secondly, your new gf has to watch you saying it to someone else.
He'll need a pretty big shovel to dig him out of this one I think.