Meglos
HAVE A NECTARINE, GONK
don't shoot the copy & paster!! lol I didn't write this drivel ... only the blue bitchiness I take credit for
The blue bitchiness is the best bit, I skim over the other crap.
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The Bachelor Australia 2015
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The blue bitchiness is the best bit, I skim over the other crap.
she was there for Emily ... huge success for her ... $10000 bling and she didn't even have to put out to the guy she wasn't really that into anyway ... win/win
Interesting.
Podcast from Snezana this morning is on here. I wonder if it's true or if she's trying to mislead. Seems weird for her to come out and say it given contracts etc.
http://www.kiis1065.com.au/entertai...s-shes-single-and-has-had-no-contact-with-sam
Podcast from Snezana this morning is on here. I wonder if it's true or if she's trying to mislead. Seems weird for her to come out and say it given contracts etc.
http://www.kiis1065.com.au/entertai...s-shes-single-and-has-had-no-contact-with-sam
Meglos
HAVE A NECTARINE, GONK
I'm glad someone else can see it, those articles make like she's the most stunning beauty ever to grace the show.
Her face is so sharp it almost puts my eye out looking at her.
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@Insomniac - I edited my post cos I snuck in a listen
lolohh thank you ... THIS is the thing I heard Jackie talking about and missed!
interesting!!! Jackie may well be onto something! Good catch!
@Insomniac - I edited my post cos I snuck in a listen
ohh thank you ... THIS is the thing I heard Jackie talking about and missed!
interesting!!! Jackie may well be onto something! Good catch!
I can't listen while I'm at work lol. I just read what it said - it'll be interesting to see what the true story about it all is.[DOUBLEPOST=1440040696][/DOUBLEPOST]The girls' instagrams are on here:
http://www.popsugar.com.au/celebrit...s-Instagram-Accounts-Follow-38145092#comments
I THOUGHT that was her!!
From The Bachelor to the toilet bowl! Intruder Lauren goes from competing for Blake Garvey on last year's show to a Harpic bathroom ad that airs in new season
Last year she was an intruder in the Bachelor mansion.
And now Lauren is helping eradicate smells that intrude into everyday households.
The 28-year-old dancer and actress is seen in an advertisement for Harpic Active bathroom cleaner - which aired in a commercial break during Wednesday night's episode of The Bachelor.
Odour: Former Bachelor contestant Lauren in a new advertisement for Harpic Active bathroom cleaner
She's first seen wearing a peach top and white pants and standing against a plain white backdrop decorated with floral vectors.
'Your home smells great, but what about your toilet?' a voice over asks, as the former reality TV starlet puts on a concerned face.
The ad goes on to show the benefits of a clean bowl, spruiking the product as being 'Your complete toilet solution,' and for 'a clean you can see and smell.'
Big questions: A voice asks 'Your home smells great, but what about your toilet?' as she looks concerned
'For all your toilet needs': The ad goes on to show the benefits of going on The Bachelor ... oh wait .. no ... a clean bowl, spruiking the product
Intruder: Lauren was introduced into the Bachelor mansion along with fellow intruders Aley, Mary, Anastasia, Rachel and Tahnee around half way through the season
Lauren was introduced into the Bachelor mansion along with fellow intruders Aley, Mary, Anastasia, Rachel and Tahnee around half way through the season last year.
She was eliminated by then-Bachelor Blake Garvey around three weeks later.
The advertisement is timely, as the current season of The Bachelor is set to be rocked by a new set of intruders.
And they are already strutting their stuff. and blah de blah with the stuff about Lana and Rachel#2 that we've already read
so a few weeks ago I saw Snake spruiking his car air fresheners etc etc .. is this a new theme?
something stinks?
From The Bachelor to the toilet bowl! Intruder Lauren goes from competing for Blake Garvey on last year's show to a Harpic bathroom ad that airs in new season
Last year she was an intruder in the Bachelor mansion.
And now Lauren is helping eradicate smells that intrude into everyday households.
The 28-year-old dancer and actress is seen in an advertisement for Harpic Active bathroom cleaner - which aired in a commercial break during Wednesday night's episode of The Bachelor.
Odour: Former Bachelor contestant Lauren in a new advertisement for Harpic Active bathroom cleaner
She's first seen wearing a peach top and white pants and standing against a plain white backdrop decorated with floral vectors.
'Your home smells great, but what about your toilet?' a voice over asks, as the former reality TV starlet puts on a concerned face.
The ad goes on to show the benefits of a clean bowl, spruiking the product as being 'Your complete toilet solution,' and for 'a clean you can see and smell.'
Big questions: A voice asks 'Your home smells great, but what about your toilet?' as she looks concerned
'For all your toilet needs': The ad goes on to show the benefits of going on The Bachelor ... oh wait .. no ... a clean bowl, spruiking the product
Intruder: Lauren was introduced into the Bachelor mansion along with fellow intruders Aley, Mary, Anastasia, Rachel and Tahnee around half way through the season
Lauren was introduced into the Bachelor mansion along with fellow intruders Aley, Mary, Anastasia, Rachel and Tahnee around half way through the season last year.
She was eliminated by then-Bachelor Blake Garvey around three weeks later.
The advertisement is timely, as the current season of The Bachelor is set to be rocked by a new set of intruders.
And they are already strutting their stuff. and blah de blah with the stuff about Lana and Rachel#2 that we've already read
so a few weeks ago I saw Snake spruiking his car air fresheners etc etc .. is this a new theme?
something stinks?
hmm..don't know what happened with that link. Try again.
http://www.popsugar.com.au/celebrit...tagram-Accounts-Follow-38145092#opening-slide
She must be threading a misleading loophole there somewhere because there's no way she'd just come out with it like that. She seems smarter than that. If she has really spilled though (doubtful) then it's little wonder the producers don't usually let them in the media before the show is done lol.
Witty Banter
I see brinkpeople.
I might well be wrong, but Nina is putting out a strong marriage rut vibe. If Sam is in any way strategic, keeping Emily in the mansion will make the other girls try harder.Is that the same as your waters?
I think you might be wrong here.
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
Yeah I think Snez prob not into Sam.
Sam has had a fair few girls not into him, which is different from Blake last year.
The only time I've seen someone actually mutually kissing him is in that Lana shot (yes that includes Heather).
Sam has had a fair few girls not into him, which is different from Blake last year.
The only time I've seen someone actually mutually kissing him is in that Lana shot (yes that includes Heather).
'We offered them $90 for a Whopper!' The Bachelor's Nina reveals the girls tried to 'bribe' producers for junk food and binged on ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner
By Laura Evans for Daily Mail Australia
Bachelor girls Sam Frost and Snezana Markoski have been candid about packing on the kilos in their quest for love, revealing their weight sky rocketed while cooped up in the mansion.
Now, Nina Rolleston is the latest love hopeful to reveal the harmful side effects of boredom in The Bachelor house, revealing the girls resorted to sugar binges.
'We would have ice-cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and that would be chased by iced chocolates and coffees,' says the 28-year-old wedding planner to [URL='http://okmagazine.com.au/tag/the-bachelor/']OK! Magazine.
[/URL]
'We offered them $90 for a Whopper!' The Bachelor's Nina reveals the girls tried to 'bribe' producers for junk food and binged on ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner
No Zinger burgers here! The Queenslander says the girls resorted to bribery to satisfy their junk food urges
Enduring long, uninterrupted stints inside the house during the filming of the show, which started in March and is thought to have run for three months, meant the girls focus turned to one thing – food.
'We even tried to bribe the producers to get us Hungry Jack's,' she recalls laughing at the memory. 'We offered them $90 for a Whopper!'
Explaining exactly how much time they spend indoors, Nina wrote on Instagram, 'If you're not on a group date or a single date, you stay at the mansion... Alllll day.... Eevvveeereday!!!!'
'If you're not on a group date or a single date, you stay at the mansion... Alllll day.... Eevvveeereday!!!!', Nina says boredom lead them to feasting on sugary foods
We may have stolen a giant box of chocolates and lollies and hidden it in our room,' laughs the down to earth star revealing the girls went to extreme lengths when their hunger for sugar couldn't be satiated by the shopping list
Where did she put it? The curvy beauty's figure didn't look to have been affected by her overindulgences
But ice cream and junk food weren't the only things the girls consumed with Nina revealing the girls went to extreme lengths when their hunger for sugar couldn't be satiated by the shopping list.
'We may have stolen a giant box of chocolates and lollies and hidden it in our room.'
The Queenslander's revelations come after single mother Snezana revealed early this week that she gained 10 kilograms while filming the show.
'We had a box of chocolates in our room, which we'd wake up in the morning and eat!' Snezana also revealed she tucked into late night treats
However, the Macedonian-Australian beauty says that after filming finished she went back to exercising and eating healthy and the kilos 'dropped off straight away.'
The confession about her weight struggle comes after last year's winner Sam Frost admitted to NW Magazine that she gained twelve kilograms over the course of the three months she spent in The Bachelorette mansion.
and more repetitive stuff and photos ... blah de blah
On sale now: Read the full story in OK! Magazine
By Laura Evans for Daily Mail Australia
Bachelor girls Sam Frost and Snezana Markoski have been candid about packing on the kilos in their quest for love, revealing their weight sky rocketed while cooped up in the mansion.
Now, Nina Rolleston is the latest love hopeful to reveal the harmful side effects of boredom in The Bachelor house, revealing the girls resorted to sugar binges.
'We would have ice-cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and that would be chased by iced chocolates and coffees,' says the 28-year-old wedding planner to [URL='http://okmagazine.com.au/tag/the-bachelor/']OK! Magazine.
'We offered them $90 for a Whopper!' The Bachelor's Nina reveals the girls tried to 'bribe' producers for junk food and binged on ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner
No Zinger burgers here! The Queenslander says the girls resorted to bribery to satisfy their junk food urges
Enduring long, uninterrupted stints inside the house during the filming of the show, which started in March and is thought to have run for three months, meant the girls focus turned to one thing – food.
'We even tried to bribe the producers to get us Hungry Jack's,' she recalls laughing at the memory. 'We offered them $90 for a Whopper!'
Explaining exactly how much time they spend indoors, Nina wrote on Instagram, 'If you're not on a group date or a single date, you stay at the mansion... Alllll day.... Eevvveeereday!!!!'
'If you're not on a group date or a single date, you stay at the mansion... Alllll day.... Eevvveeereday!!!!', Nina says boredom lead them to feasting on sugary foods
We may have stolen a giant box of chocolates and lollies and hidden it in our room,' laughs the down to earth star revealing the girls went to extreme lengths when their hunger for sugar couldn't be satiated by the shopping list
Where did she put it? The curvy beauty's figure didn't look to have been affected by her overindulgences
But ice cream and junk food weren't the only things the girls consumed with Nina revealing the girls went to extreme lengths when their hunger for sugar couldn't be satiated by the shopping list.
'We may have stolen a giant box of chocolates and lollies and hidden it in our room.'
The Queenslander's revelations come after single mother Snezana revealed early this week that she gained 10 kilograms while filming the show.
'We had a box of chocolates in our room, which we'd wake up in the morning and eat!' Snezana also revealed she tucked into late night treats
However, the Macedonian-Australian beauty says that after filming finished she went back to exercising and eating healthy and the kilos 'dropped off straight away.'
The confession about her weight struggle comes after last year's winner Sam Frost admitted to NW Magazine that she gained twelve kilograms over the course of the three months she spent in The Bachelorette mansion.
and more repetitive stuff and photos ... blah de blah
On sale now: Read the full story in OK! Magazine
Just on the opposite side of that: I was surprised last night when I realised how much Sarah actually liked him. I was under the impression that she just thought he was cute but she put it all out there...even went the "I didn't know guys like you existed" angle.
He didn't seem like he was picking up what vibes she was putting down last night though. Although he was drunk and about to plant one on Snez so he was probably distracted.
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
Yes it was very sweet, after watching that I get a feeling in my stomach about him sending her home (IF he does) because she seems to genuinely like him.
But she's probably too easy, Snez is a challenge and Heather and him have a bond, Emily was basically saying one worded answers the whole date but he just about sprinted to give her a rose.Silly boy.
and people think I'm bitchy in blue111
the link to this from the main ninemsn.com page said :
how about giving the girl a go before she even arrives on the show? she doesn't LOOK like she'd be my cup of tea but at least I'm prepared to defer judgement until she's actually ON the show!
EXCLUSIVE: The Bachelor intruder Rachel Moore is 'best friends' with Black Eyed Peas star Printz Board… but has been on benefits and lives with elderly relatives
By Amy Croffey for Daily Mail Australia
She prides herself on being an LA socialite with celebrity friends, such as Black Eyed Peas producer Printz Board and Australian model, Natalina Ford.
But The Bachelor Australia's upcoming intruder, Rachel Moore, has been on unemployment benefits, and now lives in Queensland's the Gold Coast with her elderly aunt and uncle it has been claimed.
'Her case worker ensured she looks for work, 10 placements for employment per fortnight,' a source claimed to Daily Mail Australia on Wednesday.
The former Virgin Australia international flight attendant sleeps in a 'single bed' and is said to spend much of her time managing her three Instagram accounts.
'She spends most of her day on Instagram, increasing her following,' they added.
Network Ten have yet to announce a date that the blonde intruder will enter The Bachelor Sam Wood's life alongside model Laura Dundovic's best friend, Lana Jeavons-Fellows.
The source also told DMA Rachel is 'a real piece of work' with her party lifestyle and celebrity friends.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...ts-lives-elderly-relatives.html#ixzz3jKFEfgo0
the link to this from the main ninemsn.com page said :
how about giving the girl a go before she even arrives on the show? she doesn't LOOK like she'd be my cup of tea but at least I'm prepared to defer judgement until she's actually ON the show!
EXCLUSIVE: The Bachelor intruder Rachel Moore is 'best friends' with Black Eyed Peas star Printz Board… but has been on benefits and lives with elderly relatives
By Amy Croffey for Daily Mail Australia
She prides herself on being an LA socialite with celebrity friends, such as Black Eyed Peas producer Printz Board and Australian model, Natalina Ford.
But The Bachelor Australia's upcoming intruder, Rachel Moore, has been on unemployment benefits, and now lives in Queensland's the Gold Coast with her elderly aunt and uncle it has been claimed.
'Her case worker ensured she looks for work, 10 placements for employment per fortnight,' a source claimed to Daily Mail Australia on Wednesday.
The former Virgin Australia international flight attendant sleeps in a 'single bed' and is said to spend much of her time managing her three Instagram accounts.
'She spends most of her day on Instagram, increasing her following,' they added.
Network Ten have yet to announce a date that the blonde intruder will enter The Bachelor Sam Wood's life alongside model Laura Dundovic's best friend, Lana Jeavons-Fellows.
The source also told DMA Rachel is 'a real piece of work' with her party lifestyle and celebrity friends.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...ts-lives-elderly-relatives.html#ixzz3jKFEfgo0
Melore
Tiny Member
But New Zealand already have their own The Bachelor (and it is go-oood!). I am watching it on Foxtel currently. Their bachelor is handsome and quite funny, makes Sam seem like bit of a grinning yokel. I think it's a bit lower budget; their cocktail parties have less sparkle and candles, and less bitchface, also.
love these recaps from mamamia - can I just say from the outset I think I love Rosie and need to buy her book!!!
Rosie Recaps The Bachelor Episode 7: Bachie Wood fights the ultimate battle between his brain and his peen.
And we’re back to opening on the girls in the Girl Prison this week, which perplexes me. Why has there been such a lack of ‘Bachie Wood walking and thinking on the beach’ shots this season? How are we supposed to know that he’s taking this journey seriously unless he takes his shirt off, flexes his biceps and squints into the sunset? Is he not taking this journey seriously? Should we be concerned? Should someone get the Queen of Channel Ten, Sandra Sully on the phone? BACHIE WOOD’S MUSCLES GIVE US A DIRECT LINE TO HIS BRAIN. WE NEED TO SEE THEM TO PROVE IT IS WORKING.
Oshie’s Hair arrives and delivers the single date card, which goes to Emily. She continues to gloriously sip her tea like she couldn’t give a fuck, which confuses all the other girls.
“Oh, a single date. WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DOO.”
Why isn’t she jumping up and down and screaming like a banshee? Doesn’t she realise she just won a whole day of Bachie peen? Bachie peen, Emily!
SINGLE DATE TIME
Bachie Wood goes into the date admitting that he knows nothing about Emily, but has kept her locked in the Girl Prison for almost two months because she’s a hot piece of ass. He wants her to ‘open up’ to see if there’s more to her than the hot factor, so he makes her ‘do’ things, which she clearly doesn’t like. They go on a ‘treasure hunt’, beginning with paddle boarding to force both of them into swimwear. Then she pretty much digs a hole and finds some treasure and that’s the whole treasure hunt. Hooray for time-filler dates!
DEFS real, you guys.
The treasure is a bracelet that looks like it’s made of diamonds, but you know if they actually were diamonds Channel Ten would have made a big fucking deal in the ads this week about Bachie Wood giving someone diamonds, so I’m fairly certain they’re just some very lovely sparkly stones.
Emily is happy nonetheless, but yet to reveal anything about her personality that isn’t giggling and/or looking annoyed. I kind of love that she’s a total princess and admits it. But what I love more is the total war that’s currently going on between Bachie Wood’s brain and Bachie Wood’s peen. He keeps talking about how sexy Emily is, but how he’s not sure if she’s the right one for him. Which basically means that when Bachie Wood hangs out with Emily, it’s like that Seinfeld episode where the brain plays against the penis in a game of chess:
Poor Bachie Wood. His Wood brain and Wood penis just can’t agree.
Bachie Wood is clearly struggling to let his brain do the sensible thing, which would be to walk away from this girl who can’t crack jokes like his one true love, Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather. But the peen is winning. Despite spending the entire date looking bored and wondering whether there is anything more to Emily than her looks, he tells her he definitely wants to see her again, and gives her a rose.
SORRY BRAIN, THE PEEN WON THIS ROUND.
Group date time!
Oh and it looks like the girls are leaving the Girl Prison to go to a farm to do farm things! And hold up – it NISSAN looks like NISSAN has decided NISSAN to make another NISSAN subtle appearance.
Look NISSAN at that shiny white NISSAN and how NISSAN it easily maneouvers NISSAN out of the driveway NISSAN!
And NISSAN look at that NISSAN sleek and NISSAN easy-to-use navigation NISSAN system!
And O.M.F.G – look how NISSAN that sexy NISSAN looks while NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN!
TOYOTA! Whoops sorry, I mean NISSAN!
Yay! When the girls arrive at the ‘farm’ (some wooden buildings with some trees), we see it’s time for Bachie Wood and Oshie to face off in another HAIR WARS: The farm edition.
Hmmm. Tough call. Bachie Wood clearly has the height, but Oshie definitely has the stiffness that we know and love. I, of course, will always side with my one true love Oshie’s Hair, and would like to remind Bachie Wood that he’s on very delicate ground and better BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Since this is a group date in a gimmicky outdoor location, obviously the girls are going to be subjected to a series of humiliating, gimmicky challenges, all to prove that they’re ‘real’ and ‘fun’ enough for Bachie Wood’s peen.
Humiliating Challenge #1: Bobbing for Apples
This challenge is basically looking for a girl who is willing to get into the actual bucket and consume all 11 apples in under a minute. Anything less means you’re not putting in enough effort for Bachie Wood.
This isn’t demeaning at all!
Obviously Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather wins, because this is a totally laid back and cool game. She says something about putting her ‘energies in a line’, but it almost certainly had more to do with the murderous rage that drives her to keep any other girl away from Bachie (and to keep that lovely braided collection of his pubes under her pillow).
She gets five precious minutes of alone time with Bachie Wood, and they spend it making lemonade because that’s what a Channel Ten producer assumed that people do on farms. Ebru mentions that she thinks there might be more romance to Bachie Wood and Heather’s relationship than what everybody thinks. Um, ADOY. Finally, FINALLY someone has spotted the obvious and realised that the Totally Laid Back and Cool thing totally worked and Bachie Wood and Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather are already married and touching special places and making little Laid Back Cool Bachie Wood babies.
Bachie Wood asks his future wife what happened to her pigtails, to which her response is, “Um, you just forced me to dunk my head in a bucket of water during an undignified contest, the prize of which was to spend five minutes with you. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO MY PIGTAILS?
“Oh. I’LL TELL YOU WHERE MY FUCKING PIGTAILS WENT.”
JK. She just giggles.
Rosie Recaps The Bachelor Episode 7: Bachie Wood fights the ultimate battle between his brain and his peen.
And we’re back to opening on the girls in the Girl Prison this week, which perplexes me. Why has there been such a lack of ‘Bachie Wood walking and thinking on the beach’ shots this season? How are we supposed to know that he’s taking this journey seriously unless he takes his shirt off, flexes his biceps and squints into the sunset? Is he not taking this journey seriously? Should we be concerned? Should someone get the Queen of Channel Ten, Sandra Sully on the phone? BACHIE WOOD’S MUSCLES GIVE US A DIRECT LINE TO HIS BRAIN. WE NEED TO SEE THEM TO PROVE IT IS WORKING.
Oshie’s Hair arrives and delivers the single date card, which goes to Emily. She continues to gloriously sip her tea like she couldn’t give a fuck, which confuses all the other girls.
“Oh, a single date. WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DOO.”
Why isn’t she jumping up and down and screaming like a banshee? Doesn’t she realise she just won a whole day of Bachie peen? Bachie peen, Emily!
SINGLE DATE TIME
Bachie Wood goes into the date admitting that he knows nothing about Emily, but has kept her locked in the Girl Prison for almost two months because she’s a hot piece of ass. He wants her to ‘open up’ to see if there’s more to her than the hot factor, so he makes her ‘do’ things, which she clearly doesn’t like. They go on a ‘treasure hunt’, beginning with paddle boarding to force both of them into swimwear. Then she pretty much digs a hole and finds some treasure and that’s the whole treasure hunt. Hooray for time-filler dates!
DEFS real, you guys.
The treasure is a bracelet that looks like it’s made of diamonds, but you know if they actually were diamonds Channel Ten would have made a big fucking deal in the ads this week about Bachie Wood giving someone diamonds, so I’m fairly certain they’re just some very lovely sparkly stones.
Emily is happy nonetheless, but yet to reveal anything about her personality that isn’t giggling and/or looking annoyed. I kind of love that she’s a total princess and admits it. But what I love more is the total war that’s currently going on between Bachie Wood’s brain and Bachie Wood’s peen. He keeps talking about how sexy Emily is, but how he’s not sure if she’s the right one for him. Which basically means that when Bachie Wood hangs out with Emily, it’s like that Seinfeld episode where the brain plays against the penis in a game of chess:
Poor Bachie Wood. His Wood brain and Wood penis just can’t agree.
Bachie Wood is clearly struggling to let his brain do the sensible thing, which would be to walk away from this girl who can’t crack jokes like his one true love, Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather. But the peen is winning. Despite spending the entire date looking bored and wondering whether there is anything more to Emily than her looks, he tells her he definitely wants to see her again, and gives her a rose.
SORRY BRAIN, THE PEEN WON THIS ROUND.
Group date time!
Oh and it looks like the girls are leaving the Girl Prison to go to a farm to do farm things! And hold up – it NISSAN looks like NISSAN has decided NISSAN to make another NISSAN subtle appearance.
Look NISSAN at that shiny white NISSAN and how NISSAN it easily maneouvers NISSAN out of the driveway NISSAN!
And NISSAN look at that NISSAN sleek and NISSAN easy-to-use navigation NISSAN system!
And O.M.F.G – look how NISSAN that sexy NISSAN looks while NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN NISSAN!
TOYOTA! Whoops sorry, I mean NISSAN!
Yay! When the girls arrive at the ‘farm’ (some wooden buildings with some trees), we see it’s time for Bachie Wood and Oshie to face off in another HAIR WARS: The farm edition.
Hmmm. Tough call. Bachie Wood clearly has the height, but Oshie definitely has the stiffness that we know and love. I, of course, will always side with my one true love Oshie’s Hair, and would like to remind Bachie Wood that he’s on very delicate ground and better BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Since this is a group date in a gimmicky outdoor location, obviously the girls are going to be subjected to a series of humiliating, gimmicky challenges, all to prove that they’re ‘real’ and ‘fun’ enough for Bachie Wood’s peen.
Humiliating Challenge #1: Bobbing for Apples
This challenge is basically looking for a girl who is willing to get into the actual bucket and consume all 11 apples in under a minute. Anything less means you’re not putting in enough effort for Bachie Wood.
This isn’t demeaning at all!
Obviously Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather wins, because this is a totally laid back and cool game. She says something about putting her ‘energies in a line’, but it almost certainly had more to do with the murderous rage that drives her to keep any other girl away from Bachie (and to keep that lovely braided collection of his pubes under her pillow).
She gets five precious minutes of alone time with Bachie Wood, and they spend it making lemonade because that’s what a Channel Ten producer assumed that people do on farms. Ebru mentions that she thinks there might be more romance to Bachie Wood and Heather’s relationship than what everybody thinks. Um, ADOY. Finally, FINALLY someone has spotted the obvious and realised that the Totally Laid Back and Cool thing totally worked and Bachie Wood and Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather are already married and touching special places and making little Laid Back Cool Bachie Wood babies.
Bachie Wood asks his future wife what happened to her pigtails, to which her response is, “Um, you just forced me to dunk my head in a bucket of water during an undignified contest, the prize of which was to spend five minutes with you. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO MY PIGTAILS?
“Oh. I’LL TELL YOU WHERE MY FUCKING PIGTAILS WENT.”
JK. She just giggles.
Attachments
part 2
Humiliating Challenge #2: Chasing and ‘shearing’ sheep. (Basically wrestling them to the ground and cutting a bit of wool off them, that way they can call the challenge ‘Shearing Sheep’ and not just ‘Herding Sheep like a dog’.)
Jasmin is refusing to pretend that she’s excited about this bullshit challenge, and that is confusing the fuck out of everybody. Especially Bachie Wood, who seems particularly perplexed that she isn’t enjoying his game.
WHY SHE NO TRY TO IMPRESS BACHIE WOOD?
he’s clearly upset the natural balance of things. Nobody can quite understand how she could have the audacity to be open about the fact she isn’t enjoying an activity that Bachie Wood spent 30 solid seconds talking to a producer about. How very DARE she not pretend to be having the time of her life chasing sheep around a pen? HOW DARE SHE. Jasmin is clearly getting booted after that horrifying display of defiance.
Now we have a barn dance, because Oshie’s Hair says that before the internet, our entire history of evolution and procreation was dependant on men and ladies meeting at barn dances. They do some dancing, before – GASP! – Bachie Wood takes Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather away for her second round of alone time. All the other girls are finally realising that Heather has won and has probably already had Bachie Peen plant flowers in her lady garden.
Bachie Wood takes Sarah away, just to remind us there is still a blonde girl on this show. She babbles like an idiot. Bachie Wood just looks like he misses Heather.
Next up he takes Parmigiana (I’ve gotten to the point where I actually don’t remember her real name except that it sounded like Parmigiana) off for some alone time. He tells her that he doesn’t care that he doesn’t really know her, because they just have such a strong ‘physical connection’. So, in other words, it doesn’t matter if they’re completely wrong for each other because HOT. SO HOT. Bachie Wood says something about not needing to stupid things like talk and – HOLD UP A FUCKING SECOND.
He leans in for a fucking pash:
BACHIE BRAIN FAILING. BACHIE PEEN TAKING OVER.
Then he tells her that he’s been waiting so long to do that and when he’s apart from her he can’t wait to see her and WTF is going on Bachie Wood? Aren’t you already married to Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather? We all know you’ve been giving her your pubes to braid and keep under her pillow. I get the feeling this is another example of Bachie Peen losing the battle against Bachie brain. Is Cool Girl Heather going to be usurped by Parmigiana (and her little daughter Chicken)?
Parmigiana says she feels really bad that they kissed on a group date, because it goes against the ‘girl code’. Yep. Feminism was definitely intact on The Bachelor until this very moment – you called it, Parmie.
COCKTAIL PARTY TI – Wait. Whaaa? No cocktail party tonight! We cut straight to the rose ceremony. This is bullshit. I want to see the girls get drunk and bitch about each other. We deserve that much for making it this far! WE DESERVE THAT MUCH.
View attachment 49441
i cant work out how to get the video's up in here but loved this death stare of Bec's so much I had to put screen cap of it in!!!
Oshie’s Hair comes in to explain the complicated maths:
“If little Sally has $3.00, and she uses that money to walk five miles to the science fair in 3 hours, how many strands of Bachie Wood’s pubes does Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather need to braid it into a mane as thick and luscious as my glorious locks? ONE. One girl is going home tonight.”
To build suspense, they do voice overs of the three losers who aren’t going to make it much longer. Nina says something, that blonde girl who isn’t Sarah says something, and Jasmin says something. Clearly Jasmin is the one getting booted. By admitting she wasn’t having the time of her life on that group date, she upset the natural laws of The Bachelor and therefore must leave immediately.
She is booted immediately. Oshie tells Jasmin that she’s a loser and must get lost ASAP. She leaves, and everybody breathes a sigh of relief. Things are now as they should be. No more pesky, self-assured women trying short-circuit the system. We are safe for another week.
Humiliating Challenge #2: Chasing and ‘shearing’ sheep. (Basically wrestling them to the ground and cutting a bit of wool off them, that way they can call the challenge ‘Shearing Sheep’ and not just ‘Herding Sheep like a dog’.)
Jasmin is refusing to pretend that she’s excited about this bullshit challenge, and that is confusing the fuck out of everybody. Especially Bachie Wood, who seems particularly perplexed that she isn’t enjoying his game.
WHY SHE NO TRY TO IMPRESS BACHIE WOOD?
he’s clearly upset the natural balance of things. Nobody can quite understand how she could have the audacity to be open about the fact she isn’t enjoying an activity that Bachie Wood spent 30 solid seconds talking to a producer about. How very DARE she not pretend to be having the time of her life chasing sheep around a pen? HOW DARE SHE. Jasmin is clearly getting booted after that horrifying display of defiance.
Now we have a barn dance, because Oshie’s Hair says that before the internet, our entire history of evolution and procreation was dependant on men and ladies meeting at barn dances. They do some dancing, before – GASP! – Bachie Wood takes Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather away for her second round of alone time. All the other girls are finally realising that Heather has won and has probably already had Bachie Peen plant flowers in her lady garden.
Bachie Wood takes Sarah away, just to remind us there is still a blonde girl on this show. She babbles like an idiot. Bachie Wood just looks like he misses Heather.
Next up he takes Parmigiana (I’ve gotten to the point where I actually don’t remember her real name except that it sounded like Parmigiana) off for some alone time. He tells her that he doesn’t care that he doesn’t really know her, because they just have such a strong ‘physical connection’. So, in other words, it doesn’t matter if they’re completely wrong for each other because HOT. SO HOT. Bachie Wood says something about not needing to stupid things like talk and – HOLD UP A FUCKING SECOND.
He leans in for a fucking pash:
BACHIE BRAIN FAILING. BACHIE PEEN TAKING OVER.
Then he tells her that he’s been waiting so long to do that and when he’s apart from her he can’t wait to see her and WTF is going on Bachie Wood? Aren’t you already married to Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather? We all know you’ve been giving her your pubes to braid and keep under her pillow. I get the feeling this is another example of Bachie Peen losing the battle against Bachie brain. Is Cool Girl Heather going to be usurped by Parmigiana (and her little daughter Chicken)?
Parmigiana says she feels really bad that they kissed on a group date, because it goes against the ‘girl code’. Yep. Feminism was definitely intact on The Bachelor until this very moment – you called it, Parmie.
COCKTAIL PARTY TI – Wait. Whaaa? No cocktail party tonight! We cut straight to the rose ceremony. This is bullshit. I want to see the girls get drunk and bitch about each other. We deserve that much for making it this far! WE DESERVE THAT MUCH.
View attachment 49441
i cant work out how to get the video's up in here but loved this death stare of Bec's so much I had to put screen cap of it in!!!
Oshie’s Hair comes in to explain the complicated maths:
“If little Sally has $3.00, and she uses that money to walk five miles to the science fair in 3 hours, how many strands of Bachie Wood’s pubes does Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather need to braid it into a mane as thick and luscious as my glorious locks? ONE. One girl is going home tonight.”
To build suspense, they do voice overs of the three losers who aren’t going to make it much longer. Nina says something, that blonde girl who isn’t Sarah says something, and Jasmin says something. Clearly Jasmin is the one getting booted. By admitting she wasn’t having the time of her life on that group date, she upset the natural laws of The Bachelor and therefore must leave immediately.
She is booted immediately. Oshie tells Jasmin that she’s a loser and must get lost ASAP. She leaves, and everybody breathes a sigh of relief. Things are now as they should be. No more pesky, self-assured women trying short-circuit the system. We are safe for another week.
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
part 2
Humiliating Challenge #2: Chasing and ‘shearing’ sheep. (Basically wrestling them to the ground and cutting a bit of wool off them, that way they can call the challenge ‘Shearing Sheep’ and not just ‘Herding Sheep like a dog’.)
Jasmin is refusing to pretend that she’s excited about this bullshit challenge, and that is confusing the fuck out of everybody. Especially Bachie Wood, who seems particularly perplexed that she isn’t enjoying his game.
WHY SHE NO TRY TO IMPRESS BACHIE WOOD?
he’s clearly upset the natural balance of things. Nobody can quite understand how she could have the audacity to be open about the fact she isn’t enjoying an activity that Bachie Wood spent 30 solid seconds talking to a producer about. How very DARE she not pretend to be having the time of her life chasing sheep around a pen? HOW DARE SHE. Jasmin is clearly getting booted after that horrifying display of defiance.
Now we have a barn dance, because Oshie’s Hair says that before the internet, our entire history of evolution and procreation was dependant on men and ladies meeting at barn dances. They do some dancing, before – GASP! – Bachie Wood takes Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather away for her second round of alone time. All the other girls are finally realising that Heather has won and has probably already had Bachie Peen plant flowers in her lady garden.
Bachie Wood takes Sarah away, just to remind us there is still a blonde girl on this show. She babbles like an idiot. Bachie Wood just looks like he misses Heather.
Next up he takes Parmigiana (I’ve gotten to the point where I actually don’t remember her real name except that it sounded like Parmigiana) off for some alone time. He tells her that he doesn’t care that he doesn’t really know her, because they just have such a strong ‘physical connection’. So, in other words, it doesn’t matter if they’re completely wrong for each other because HOT. SO HOT. Bachie Wood says something about not needing to stupid things like talk and – HOLD UP A FUCKING SECOND.
He leans in for a fucking pash:
BACHIE BRAIN FAILING. BACHIE PEEN TAKING OVER.
Then he tells her that he’s been waiting so long to do that and when he’s apart from her he can’t wait to see her and WTF is going on Bachie Wood? Aren’t you already married to Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather? We all know you’ve been giving her your pubes to braid and keep under her pillow. I get the feeling this is another example of Bachie Peen losing the battle against Bachie brain. Is Cool Girl Heather going to be usurped by Parmigiana (and her little daughter Chicken)?
Parmigiana says she feels really bad that they kissed on a group date, because it goes against the ‘girl code’. Yep. Feminism was definitely intact on The Bachelor until this very moment – you called it, Parmie.
COCKTAIL PARTY TI – Wait. Whaaa? No cocktail party tonight! We cut straight to the rose ceremony. This is bullshit. I want to see the girls get drunk and bitch about each other. We deserve that much for making it this far! WE DESERVE THAT MUCH.
View attachment 49441
i cant work out how to get the video's up in here but loved this death stare of Bec's so much I had to put screen cap of it in!!!
Oshie’s Hair comes in to explain the complicated maths:
“If little Sally has $3.00, and she uses that money to walk five miles to the science fair in 3 hours, how many strands of Bachie Wood’s pubes does Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather need to braid it into a mane as thick and luscious as my glorious locks? ONE. One girl is going home tonight.”
To build suspense, they do voice overs of the three losers who aren’t going to make it much longer. Nina says something, that blonde girl who isn’t Sarah says something, and Jasmin says something. Clearly Jasmin is the one getting booted. By admitting she wasn’t having the time of her life on that group date, she upset the natural laws of The Bachelor and therefore must leave immediately.
She is booted immediately. Oshie tells Jasmin that she’s a loser and must get lost ASAP. She leaves, and everybody breathes a sigh of relief. Things are now as they should be. No more pesky, self-assured women trying short-circuit the system. We are safe for another week.
I love her recaps too, makes me laugh every time.