hooleydooley
Well-Known Member
LOL - Here is the head Version - I still have them hanging around the place!
LOL - Here is the head Version - I still have them hanging around the place!
What's the cow name?
And was my story yesterday positive enough?
never named it! It was for a competition in Town, which we did win Looks like a Bruce to me ....
Yes, but I have a feeling it is to be continued ........
This is one of my Paper Mache Creations ........
That looks great. Maybe you should go on The Block.I don't have a talent talent, but I'm good with woodwork things and fixing things around the home. This is a pic of the door for under my stairs which I made because I wanted more storage. View attachment 48510
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a young girl whose name was… let’s call her Violet. She was tallish, and darkish and liked to hide. She lived in a big house on the outskirts of a little country town. She thought ‘outskirts’ was a funny word and she wondered who had thought of it and how it came to be used. But that’s where she lived now and she liked having fields and trees around her. She’d often climb into the middle of a big, dark, bushy tree and sit and read and listen and watch as the world passed her by. Sometimes she had a cat with her. She dreamed of adventures and the sea. She imagined blizzards and blazing fires and secrets. Violet was young and free from care and well-loved. Her life was glowing and golden.
When summer came her family would leave their big house on the outskirts of the small country town and travel into the north, until they came to the sea. Violet could always smell the sea a long time before she saw it. It was the most exciting smell in the world. And when they arrived, and she was standing on the baking sand, the smell of the salty sea and the furious sound of the roaring surf and the burning heat of the sun on her bare skin would fill her with ecstasy. Anticipation was no match for this, and memory has but a shadow of its power.
In the warm moist darkness of the evenings on these holidays Violet’s family would walk along the pier, eating ice cream. She’d hold her mother’s hand. Her brother might fish, but he rarely caught anything. Violet was pleased. On one of the these evenings, Violet spotted a fish. The most beautiful glowing emerald golden fish in the world. It had wings and flew out of the water and skimmed across the rippling surface of the waves. It was a creature more magical than any from her imagination. Her family was transfixed. Then her brother grabbed his fishing rod and tried to catch it. Tried to kill it! Horrified, Violet looked to her parents, but they just smiled indulgently at her brother, the killer. Then she began to scream. And scream and scream. And the shock of this noise stopped her brother, and the noise of her screams shocked her parents and they realized their mistake. And the most magical fish in the salty sea was safe.
And Violet started to cry and started to grow up, because the beautiful fish had taken with it to the depths of the salty sea some of her golden youth.
(At a royal dinner table sits a potato King, with his green robe and red crown, who is about to give his lunch to the royal waiter.)
King: Yes, I'll have a....let's see (flicks through the menu). Oh! Same dish day after day. Can't we have something new?
Waiter: What would your majesty prefer?
King: I don't know.
Waiter: Should I get the Chef to make something up?
King: No, don't bother...wait a minute! By jove, I've just had a smashing idea!
Waiter: Yes, Sir?
King: Can you get the Chef to cook up some chips?
Waiter: Chips?
King: You know, the kind you put in the oven?
Waiter: Yes, Sir. But are you sure that's what you want?
King: Of course I'm sure. Now get to it.
Waiter: Are you really sure?
King: Why are you arguing with me? Now get moving before I have you fired!
Waiter: I don't think you can fire me.
King: I meant from a cannon.
Waiter: Oh....
King: Now stop trying to distract me and go and tell the Chef to cook up some chips.
Waiter: But chips are made from potatoes.
King: Really?
Waiter: Yes, it is comon knowledge.
King: Well it isn't to me. Oh God, I just realised....
Waiter: What is it, Sir? Want to me to fetch something for you?
King: No, I just remembered that I had some chips last week at the Tomato King's palace. I'm a cannibal! I am a disgrace to the Royal bloodline and all the people of Taterland.
Waiter: Isn't Sir being a little over-dramatic?
King: No, Sir is not being overdramatic. Now, can the Chef cook up some wedges?
Waiter: They are made from potatoes too.
King: Oh, god, really? I had them too last week.
Waiter: Should I refill your glass?
King: No, not yet thanks. Um, can the Chef do up some bangers and mash?
Waiter: That has potatoes in it as well I'm afraid.
King: Damn! Damn and blast! Well, I guess I'll just have the steak.....again.
Waiter: How would you liked it cooked?
King: Rare. And make sure it is rare and not medium rare!
Waiter: As Sir wishes.
(Waiter leaves the room to give the order to the Chef.)
The End.
Mr. G. ...... There is nothing like bit of obscurity and the deep blue sea, but that post comes across as truly obscure.Roses are red
Violets are blue
And in long stories too
The life and times of @Bluefin is a similar anecdote
My talent is performing magical illusions with household items & card tricks for social clubs and any keen audience
Sure, these days all the secrets and methods are revealed on youtube, yet a true artist displays immaculate showmanship
and entertains in more ways than just 'pick a card/ any card'
I also pride myself on memory exercises; Be they numbers, names , dates and the like
Plus i have written articles and contributed to worldwide magazines where Poker and Gaming are the focus
I also have been known as one of the country's foremost authorities on the life and times of Elvis Presley since 1988,.when i co-hosted the only regular radio program devoted to Elvis music in Australia...til 1994....The Aust Broadcasting Laws dictate that 50% of each hour must have Australian content, so we could only perform a half hour program each week.
I won the National Elvis Presley Trivia contest in 1989 at age 18 and was on the Einstein Factor where i won my category ( never aired as show cancelled )
I also was a 3 nite contestant on Wheel Of Fortune in 1990 and won 28,800 in prizes, including a Holden Apollo
I excel at sleep the most.
I write songs and poetry.
And i am an expert of deciphering whether a set of tits are real or fake.
I find it difficult to differentiate the Great from the Coal tit.
Great Tit
Coat tit
I'm not sure if they're fake or not. I suspect not.
In other news...
I have a talent for that too, but it's boring and doesn't get laughs. It does however result in a house that at least looks like, it's had a really good clean.My talent is performing magical illusions with household items
I have a talent for that too, but it's boring and doesn't get laughs. It does however result in a house that at least looks like, it's had a really good clean.
View attachment 48533
This is the Cross Stitch I did and gave to my Mum,
You can't really see the detail, but you may get the picture.
I should have taken a pic, before it was framed and the glassed - the refection
BTW - The Black Background is all stitches
Great stitching! They look like a bunch of crazy rainbow bats from the depths of Perth, where they have been bred to fight ghosts that have come to haunt the local 24 hour kmart. But the bats rebel against their owners and escape, where they head off in to the great vast country of Australia and have crazy adventures!