Random advice thread

SepiaBird

The SepiaBird!!!
Awesome site donor
@delcan

Not really. I mean I live with them without paying board, they clothe me, and feed me but I have a job now and I am willing to get another one just to stop me from going back.

That was there main argument last year, that they didn't want me lying around doing nothing all year.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. I thought I wanted to do TV production but I honestly do not know. I don't really like retail but I prefer it to uni right now. I just don't want to go back.

I hate it there, I honestly feel physically ill just thinking about going back. I HATE it. :(
 

Lindsay1973

Well-Known Member
Awesome site donor
@delcan

Not really. I mean I live with them without paying board, they clothe me, and feed me but I have a job now and I am willing to get another one just to stop me from going back.

That was there main argument last year, that they didn't want me lying around doing nothing all year.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. I thought I wanted to do TV production but I honestly do not know. I don't really like retail but I prefer it to uni right now. I just don't want to go back.

I hate it there, I honestly feel physically ill just thinking about going back. I HATE it. :(
It sounds like you are doing the wrong studies,I studied nursing but it was because my mom and the thankfully ex-stepfather
could not send me to college so I went to train at Jhb Gen and the government paid because you worked in-between semesters.
Looking back I felt trapped,I had one issue after another because of my hearing and it was the absolutely worst career choice for me.
If you like retail why not further your studies in that field? Ultimately you are the one that has to live with it and further a career using your studies,it's better to change now while you still can and do something that fulfills and interests you and makes you happy.Don't be like me and only find your interest later on in life.
 

SepiaBird

The SepiaBird!!!
Awesome site donor
I'm going to talk to my boss tomorrow about it. If he will give me more shifts during the week, then I'll talk to my parents about it and submit the paperwork by the end of the week. If not, I think I'll still defer anyway and just find another job to fill in the gaps. I know it sounds dramatic but I honestly cannot handle going back there!
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
@delcan

Not really. I mean I live with them without paying board, they clothe me, and feed me but I have a job now and I am willing to get another one just to stop me from going back.

That was there main argument last year, that they didn't want me lying around doing nothing all year.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. I thought I wanted to do TV production but I honestly do not know. I don't really like retail but I prefer it to uni right now. I just don't want to go back.

I hate it there, I honestly feel physically ill just thinking about going back. I HATE it. :(
It's ok to not know where you want to be - as I said before - people think they are on track to be where they want to be and then realise it isn't the case. I'm all for people taking their time to make decisions that are right for them. You're not lying around and doing nothing - I'm tired of that accusation. You are trying to find your place in this world.
 

Witty Banter

I see brinkpeople.
To be boring, just do remember that your resume and academic records do hang around for life, even 20 years down the track. If you can push yourself to finish, defer and finish or transfer credits, do go through a little bit of pain now to make your later life a little less awkward.
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
To be boring, just do remember that your resume and academic records do hang around for life, even 20 years down the track. If you can push yourself to finish, defer and finish or transfer credits, do go through a little bit of pain now to make your later life a little less awkward.
Good advice
 

Lindsay1973

Well-Known Member
Awesome site donor
I'm going to talk to my boss tomorrow about it. If he will give me more shifts during the week, then I'll talk to my parents about it and submit the paperwork by the end of the week. If not, I think I'll still defer anyway and just find another job to fill in the gaps. I know it sounds dramatic but I honestly cannot handle going back there!
Good luck
 

refundeR

I love toobs & getting my hair wet
Don't suppose anyone figured out how to restrict people from seeing when you last logged onto Facebook when they check messenger on their phones?

I only use FB from a PC, but anyone who I have messaged before can see when I've last logged on. Very irritating if you want to use FB and not reply to certain messages...
 

kxk

SAPIOSEXUAL
Anyone have dual citizenship? How does travel work, and passports. For Brit/Aus duals?

It seems, you have 2 passports, travel from and to here on Aussie pp, then switch to Brit one once you land in Europe?
How confusing and weird.
Can you lose dual citizenship with UK???
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
Anyone have dual citizenship? How does travel work, and passports. For Brit/Aus duals?

It seems, you have 2 passports, travel from and to here on Aussie pp, then switch to Brit one once you land in Europe?
How confusing and weird.
Can you lose dual citizenship with UK???
A few of my friends do. I don't think you can lose it (unless of course you do something criminal) - a lot of friends who have it got it because their parents were born in the UK. My friend recently traveled back to UK via Dubai and said she forgot which passport she got into the country (UAE) on but it worked out ok, she picked the right one.
 

SepiaBird

The SepiaBird!!!
Awesome site donor
@Mooseface basically everything. I don't like being told what to do, I don't like being given time limits (I'd rather do things in my own time), and I don't like having to travel there every week and being away from family for days, and I don't like how long it takes. :(

I have now applied for 2 more jobs (and still looking for more) on top of my current and now I'm just waiting for responses. Hopefully I will get them both! I have also submitted my application for intermission (finally). Things are now looking up! :D

Thank you everybody for your advice, I really do appreciate all of it! I will soon get back to you on what happens next. :)
 

Isee

Lurker... who occasionally speaks
Awesome site donor
@Mooseface basically everything. I don't like being told what to do, I don't like being given time limits (I'd rather do things in my own time), and I don't like having to travel there every week and being away from family for days, and I don't like how long it takes. :(

I have now applied for 2 more jobs (and still looking for more) on top of my current and now I'm just waiting for responses. Hopefully I will get them both! I have also submitted my application for intermission (finally). Things are now looking up! :D

Thank you everybody for your advice, I really do appreciate all of it! I will soon get back to you on what happens next. :)
is there any option for for studying what you do through distance learning and working? Still get a qualification while working but at you own pace and at home
 

Mooseface

Little known member
@Mooseface basically everything. I don't like being told what to do, I don't like being given time limits (I'd rather do things in my own time), and I don't like having to travel there every week and being away from family for days, and I don't like how long it takes. :(

I have now applied for 2 more jobs (and still looking for more) on top of my current and now I'm just waiting for responses. Hopefully I will get them both! I have also submitted my application for intermission (finally). Things are now looking up! :D

Thank you everybody for your advice, I really do appreciate all of it! I will soon get back to you on what happens next. :)
Ah well. It does sound as though Uni and you are not a great combination at the moment. I am the opposite to you it seems - I find Uni fun. But there you go. Takes all sorts. And we do only get one go at this life (as far aus we know, officially) so it makes sense to use it wisely. Sometimes that means gritting ones teeth for later results. But... sometimes it means changing direction.
 

HarleyQQ

Well-Known Member
My grammar has never been good so sorry in advance >.<
My sister in-law has convinced my brother to cut off contact from my mother and im not sure what to do.
She is mentally ill.. very controlling/abusive. Over the years shes been sending my parents nasty messages about what horrible grandparents they are because they never visit.... but they do visit, and there has been numerous times they've gone to visit only to be told to turn back and go home (8 hours away).
But most recently she sent a vile message to my mother on her 70th birthday and that has been the final straw, my father finally told her to fcuk off and that is when my brother called to cut off contact.....(hes done it once before but relented)
My mother is absolutely devastated.....and I know i need to mind my own business...but i dont know if i can anymore...
When my sister inlaw gets angry she kicks my brother out and leaves him with no money (because she controls it all) for days at a time....my mother ended up giving him access to her credit card but she cant afford it! .... they live in a great city in a fancy home, both with good jobs and have 2 beautiful children....My mum is a pensioner..

She has had a bit of a rough time though suffering awful post natal depression and the loss of a baby which i just could not imagine going through....She has so much love/support but refuses to go to any type of counselling. Also part of her mental issues are due to dome medical issues which could be helped by an operation however that will mean she wont be able to have anymore children so shes opted not to have it. Dont get me wrong i completely understand thats a horrible situation to be in and i do absolutely feel for her but she cant keep treating everyone around her like this...

so whats the solution here? how do we help her?
Obviously sending something negative is not going to help the situation even though perhaps nothing will >.<
But i have to say something to her..
again sorry for grammar/typos damn fat fingers and blurry eyes.
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
My grammar has never been good so sorry in advance >.<
My sister in-law has convinced my brother to cut off contact from my mother and im not sure what to do.
She is mentally ill.. very controlling/abusive. Over the years shes been sending my parents nasty messages about what horrible grandparents they are because they never visit.... but they do visit, and there has been numerous times they've gone to visit only to be told to turn back and go home (8 hours away).
But most recently she sent a vile message to my mother on her 70th birthday and that has been the final straw, my father finally told her to fcuk off and that is when my brother called to cut off contact.....(hes done it once before but relented)
My mother is absolutely devastated.....and I know i need to mind my own business...but i dont know if i can anymore...
When my sister inlaw gets angry she kicks my brother out and leaves him with no money (because she controls it all) for days at a time....my mother ended up giving him access to her credit card but she cant afford it! .... they live in a great city in a fancy home, both with good jobs and have 2 beautiful children....My mum is a pensioner..

She has had a bit of a rough time though suffering awful post natal depression and the loss of a baby which i just could not imagine going through....She has so much love/support but refuses to go to any type of counselling. Also part of her mental issues are due to dome medical issues which could be helped by an operation however that will mean she wont be able to have anymore children so shes opted not to have it. Dont get me wrong i completely understand thats a horrible situation to be in and i do absolutely feel for her but she cant keep treating everyone around her like this...

so whats the solution here? how do we help her?
Obviously sending something negative is not going to help the situation even though perhaps nothing will >.<
But i have to say something to her..
again sorry for grammar/typos damn fat fingers and blurry eyes.
I don't have a solution for you. But I do think you are being very fair and compassionate to all parties in the situation and that is very admirable. I agree you have to say something to her, but I'm not sure what will be effective. I want to say try to be her friend and try to use that to change her behaviour, but I think you are caught between a rock and hard place. Some people need ultimatums eg. this is the last time your mum is going to support your brother when his wife kicks him out
 

Witty Banter

I see brinkpeople.
If your brother has been left penniless on multiple occasions and still accepts it, and goes back unchanged, then it's unfortunately voluntary submissive behaviour. No one can be regularly kicked out of their own home unless they are enabling it.

- focus on at least getting him financially independent
- ignore the fact he is a submissive doormat, for now
- manage your mother's dealing with the situation.
 
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