Random advice thread

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
#1
So I thought I would make a thread where people could ask for advice on various issues. Nothing is off limits.

Anyway, I was wanting advice on the following:

I have a Facebook account (duh) and I used to have a lot of colleagues on it, but a lot of them were pretty much using it to bitch about me to my bosses, so I deleted most of them. This was about 3 years ago. I am now working somewhere completely different, but I have a policy that I will only become "friends" with people in different departments, or people in my department who I have built trust with over 3 years. Today, my boss sent me a friend request. The same boss who made me cry at a performance review last week and quite openly says I'm a moron in from of the whole department. I do not want them to know about any of my friends or interests because I am sure they will use it against me. I am just ignoring it at the moment - I would usually just stick them on my block list, but I don't know if it is cool to put your boss on a block list after they knew you existed. And I'm worried other colleagues might refer to my posts and my boss will get even more miffed with me
 

Sweetgeek

Well-Known Member
#2
So I thought I would make a thread where people could ask for advice on various issues. Nothing is off limits.

Anyway, I was wanting advice on the following:

I have a Facebook account (duh) and I used to have a lot of colleagues on it, but a lot of them were pretty much using it to bitch about me to my bosses, so I deleted most of them. This was about 3 years ago. I am now working somewhere completely different, but I have a policy that I will only become "friends" with people in different departments, or people in my department who I have built trust with over 3 years. Today, my boss sent me a friend request. The same boss who made me cry at a performance review last week and quite openly says I'm a moron in from of the whole department. I do not want them to know about any of my friends or interests because I am sure they will use it against me. I am just ignoring it at the moment - I would usually just stick them on my block list, but I don't know if it is cool to put your boss on a block list after they knew you existed. And I'm worried other colleagues might refer to my posts and my boss will get even more miffed with me
I'm not sure what you could do. But there is a way where you can hide from people even looking you up on Facebook. Like only friends can look you up. You may want to use this for the future.

That sucks that dickheads out there only add you for the purpose to bitch or humiliate you to others. I would add him but limit what he can see of your Facebook page. You can do that. For some family members I've hidden past timelines and automatically they cannot view my posts or posts to my page unless I choose to let them see it
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
#3
I'm not sure what you could do. But there is a way where you can hide from people even looking you up on Facebook. Like only friends can look you up. You may want to use this for the future.

That sucks that dickheads out there only add you for the purpose to bitch or humiliate you to others. I would add him but limit what he can see of your Facebook page. You can do that. For some family members I've hidden past timelines and automatically they cannot view my posts or posts to my page unless I choose to let them see it
I thought I had done that! I usually have to try find myself on other people Facebook before we can be Friends. Yeah, I have a few ppl I hide stuff from - but seriously, why they think it would be ok to send a friend request to me after all that bs? I'm mortified by the lack of insight
 

Gemini

No soup for you!
Awesome site donor
#4
To be honest I'd probably just let the request sit there (don't accept or reject it) and if they ask you about it just be honest and say why you don't feel comfortable accepting it. They sound like a piece of work and absolutely unprofessional humiliating you in front of colleagues like that and like you said you'd only give more ammunition to degrade you by accepting and letting them see your personal stuff.
 

reepbot

EVE MOREY FOR GOLD LOGIE!
#5
Is getting like a professional Myers Briggs personality test worth it? Or will I probably get the same INFP thing I have been getting on the online tests?
 

Sweetgeek

Well-Known Member
#6
I thought I had done that! I usually have to try find myself on other people Facebook before we can be Friends. Yeah, I have a few ppl I hide stuff from - but seriously, why they think it would be ok to send a friend request to me after all that bs? I'm mortified by the lack of insight
With Facebook I find I have to regularly update my settings because it changes so often, maybe that's what happened? Or they know from a mutual friend that told him...

I know, the nerve of this person is beyond arrogant. Just leave it. I'd act like I saw the request but didn't add because I received a call and then just forgot to add later. Play dumb for as long as possible
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
#7
Is getting like a professional Myers Briggs personality test worth it? Or will I probably get the same INFP thing I have been getting on the online tests?
I've done it 3 times through work with "professionals" and have done it several times on line - it hasn't changed the result much, and it probably is down to how you feel on the day. To me, it's more of reflection tool as to why you may be clashing with other people eg. if they are an extrovert and you are an introvert. It's supposed to encourage people to "meet half way" eg. the introvert makes more effort to mirror the extroverts behaviour, and the extrovert hones in their behaviour to empathize with the introvert. I think it is more professional, as opposed to personal, based. I did the training at a former workplace - if people aren't ready to change, they wont
 
#8
@Declan Good idea for a thread! Curious about the true nature of your boss's behavior and what is happening in the bigger picture. Did your boss apologise to you for making you cry in your PDP? What made you cry? How was your response handled at the time? You don't have to answer, but I think a key lies within those answers as to how you should respond to the fb thing, and manage your boss.
 

reepbot

EVE MOREY FOR GOLD LOGIE!
#9
I've done it 3 times through work with "professionals" and have done it several times on line - it hasn't changed the result much, and it probably is down to how you feel on the day. To me, it's more of reflection tool as to why you may be clashing with other people eg. if they are an extrovert and you are an introvert. It's supposed to encourage people to "meet half way" eg. the introvert makes more effort to mirror the extroverts behaviour, and the extrovert hones in their behaviour to empathize with the introvert. I think it is more professional, as opposed to personal, based. I did the training at a former workplace - if people aren't ready to change, they wont
Oh, ok. Just out of interest, what was your Myers Briggs type? Mine was INFP.
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
#11
@Declan Good idea for a thread! Curious about the true nature of your boss's behavior and what is happening in the bigger picture. Did your boss apologise to you for making you cry in your PDP? What made you cry? How was your response handled at the time? You don't have to answer, but I think a key lies within those answers as to how you should respond to the fb thing, and manage your boss.
ah

He didn't apologise. He wanted me to plan my future career, and basically said I wasn't going to further my career there. Which I am fine with - I have depression and anxiety, combined with being unlucky, so to me, even having a job is something I am incredibly grateful for. I am happy with what I have, because for me, that is a big achievement
 

Gemini

No soup for you!
Awesome site donor
#12
It's amazing how so many bosses aren't in tune with how their comments can affect their staff. Being a good boss isn't just about being good at the work, it's about being good with people too.

I did one online and it said ISTP but I don't know what that means :confused:
 

Inigo Montoya

The New Dread Pirate Roberts.
#13
ah

He didn't apologise. He wanted me to plan my future career, and basically said I wasn't going to further my career there. Which I am fine with - I have depression and anxiety, combined with being unlucky, so to me, even having a job is something I am incredibly grateful for. I am happy with what I have, because for me, that is a big achievement
*hugs*
 
#17
ah

He didn't apologise. He wanted me to plan my future career, and basically said I wasn't going to further my career there. Which I am fine with - I have depression and anxiety, combined with being unlucky, so to me, even having a job is something I am incredibly grateful for. I am happy with what I have, because for me, that is a big achievement
People have the power to make their own luck too. And while depression can work to fool people into thinking they have no power, it just takes a fuck load more effort, discipline, motivation, management and flexibility (IMO). Sorry if not quite what you were after. You're a great poster, and going by that, maybe capable of more than your boss or you seem to credit yourself with. ;)
 
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delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
#18
People have the power to make their own luck too. And while depression can work to fool people into thinking they have no power, it just takes a fuck load more of effort, discipline, motivation, management and flexibility (IMO). Sorry if not quite what you were after. You're a great poster, and going by that, maybe capable of more than your boss or you seem to credit yourself with. ;)
I think people can make their own luck, I've seen it, but I am seriously cursed. I've done the hard work, but the work gossips destroy that. I accept me and my situation. I can't control them
 

Lindsay1973

Well-Known Member
Awesome site donor
#19
So I thought I would make a thread where people could ask for advice on various issues. Nothing is off limits.

Anyway, I was wanting advice on the following:

I have a Facebook account (duh) and I used to have a lot of colleagues on it, but a lot of them were pretty much using it to bitch about me to my bosses, so I deleted most of them. This was about 3 years ago. I am now working somewhere completely different, but I have a policy that I will only become "friends" with people in different departments, or people in my department who I have built trust with over 3 years. Today, my boss sent me a friend request. The same boss who made me cry at a performance review last week and quite openly says I'm a moron in from of the whole department. I do not want them to know about any of my friends or interests because I am sure they will use it against me. I am just ignoring it at the moment - I would usually just stick them on my block list, but I don't know if it is cool to put your boss on a block list after they knew you existed. And I'm worried other colleagues might refer to my posts and my boss will get even more miffed with me
What you could do is start a new account and keep it just for family and proper friends,delete the old one and start new.If anyone asks just say that facebook blocked your account and it has happened as it just happened to a friend of mine (they said her name wasn't real)
and then make sure in your settings that people cannot find you using your name,email or anything else so then you would actually have to give them your profile if you want to friend them or just do it from their profile.
 

Inigo Montoya

The New Dread Pirate Roberts.
#20
So tomorrow I am going down the cost, taking the 5 hour long bus ride and I really want to bring my laptop with me. Sadly I do not have a laptop bag for it and I'm seriously considering packing it in my suit case. Has anyone ever packed a laptop in a suitcase before and how did you pack it? Also if I do bring it I will be telling the bus driver to be careful of my suitcase....
 
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