R U OK?

Status
Not open for further replies.
And back to you @shaydee...
Should i post the advice part? I read it a lot. But most days it seems like a bad dream, hard to feel it is real - sis says she often wakes up thinking it was a bad dream:(
She is having hydro therapy, I will be joining her in the pool soon - she is elated by this, she feels free again. And we are both water nuts.
sis has a wonderful doctor, books her into private when she has no private cover so she can swim.

But back to us, catch up in august? Longer trip then. This one I leave tomorrow but it's just 10 days. Also Bridgetown has a music thing i will be there for in November.
Cheers
Yes please, post the advice part :)

Sounds like your sis has a great Dr and great that you both can do something together and enjoy it.

August sounds fab. Let me know your schedule when you know more. Hoping your trip is a good one, all things considered. x
 

Fiona

Well-Known Member
And back to you @shaydee...
Should i post the advice part? I read it a lot. But most days it seems like a bad dream, hard to feel it is real - sis says she often wakes up thinking it was a bad dream:(
She is having hydro therapy, I will be joining her in the pool soon - she is elated by this, she feels free again. And we are both water nuts.
sis has a wonderful doctor, books her into private when she has no private cover so she can swim.

But back to us, catch up in august? Longer trip then. This one I leave tomorrow but it's just 10 days. Also Bridgetown has a music thing i will be there for in November.
Cheers
This quite possibly won't mean much but I always think of living for the now is just a case of keeping on keeping on. Really, what else can you do? You cannot take on the business of being ill that someone has go through. Your best contribution is to maintain a steady influence and to do what needs/has to be done. Speaking from experience with Dad's cancer last year.
 
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
 

Tuttle

Well-Known Member
Don't forget to look after you. Some parents forget to do that.
Sorry, I don't have any experience with any of that, just even though it doesn't seem like it, you're the constant in your childs life.
Sometimes, just typing things out and hitting post helps when life seems overwhelming. :)
I wish you well.
 

delcan

Future Real Housewife
Awesome site donor
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
The ages between 16 and 18 is a total mess in terms of the health system unfortunately. Every organisation seems to have different standards for what they will and wont accept and it is really not fair - it is a massive time for development and being dumped by the health care system doesn't help. Headspace is a fantastic service so you are on the right track there. I think you are doing the most you can here and are being a great Mum, I'm not sure there is anything else you can do here? You sound like you are doing a great job being a mother here - you are being understanding, accepting and supportive xoxoxo
 

Isee

Lurker... who occasionally speaks
Awesome site donor
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
Sorry i really have any solutions or help, beyond what it sounds like you are already doing. But just wanted to say I am here and listening, if that helps.
 

Mooseface

Little known member
Oh man. That sounds challenging, shaydee. I totally agree with the make sure you are ok advice though. You can't give away what you don't have. So if you want to be able to give your child hope and love and advice and wisdom then you need to be exposed to those things and receive enough of them to also give away.
 

Fiona

Well-Known Member
Shaydee, I have nothing of great intellect and wisdom for you, but as I said in a comment further up the page, keeping on keeping on is all you can do that's solid, normal and day to day. James is dealing with stuff that's scary, confusing for all concerned and needs love. No doubt that you're giving her that and I am sure it's appreciated. Hang in there and know that we aren't far away. Hoping too that James stays safe and recovers.
 
Don't forget to look after you. Some parents forget to do that.
Sorry, I don't have any experience with any of that, just even though it doesn't seem like it, you're the constant in your childs life.
Sometimes, just typing things out and hitting post helps when life seems overwhelming. :)
I wish you well.
Thank you. It really did help me writing this out and posting it. More than I thought it would. :) xXx

The ages between 16 and 18 is a total mess in terms of the health system unfortunately. Every organisation seems to have different standards for what they will and wont accept and it is really not fair - it is a massive time for development and being dumped by the health care system doesn't help. Headspace is a fantastic service so you are on the right track there. I think you are doing the most you can here and are being a great Mum, I'm not sure there is anything else you can do here? You sound like you are doing a great job being a mother here - you are being understanding, accepting and supportive xoxoxo
Aww thanks delcan.. it sure is a turbulent time for her. For us all really but we'll take it one day at a time. It's important to me that she has a safe space where she can express herself and be herself without restriction. I think we've nailed that part.. it's just the rest. Am hoping the Headspace appointment will help. Sometimes they need to hear it from a professional rather than someone they are emotionally involved with. I appreciate your words so much. Thank you :) xXx

Sorry i really have any solutions or help, beyond what it sounds like you are already doing. But just wanted to say I am here and listening, if that helps.
Thanks honey.. it does help :) xXx

Oh man. That sounds challenging, shaydee. I totally agree with the make sure you are ok advice though. You can't give away what you don't have. So if you want to be able to give your child hope and love and advice and wisdom then you need to be exposed to those things and receive enough of them to also give away.
Thanks Moose... I appreciate it :) xXx

Shaydee, I have nothing of great intellect and wisdom for you, but as I said in a comment further up the page, keeping on keeping on is all you can do that's solid, normal and day to day. James is dealing with stuff that's scary, confusing for all concerned and needs love. No doubt that you're giving her that and I am sure it's appreciated. Hang in there and know that we aren't far away. Hoping too that James stays safe and recovers.
Those words have such meaning right now. Keep on keeping on. Thank you for your kind words too. Really, thanks :) xXx

.

Thank you so much. Really. All of you. It means a lot that you all replied with such kindness. Made me do a little cry. I'll just keep on keeping on and come here to have a little vent if I need to. Some great advice in here and great people. I appreciate it more than I can say. thank you <3 xXxXxXxXXxXx
 

Mooseface

Little known member
Absolutely! Little cries are healing I think!! Little vents help too.

And I have NO effing idea WHY it works, but the whole meditation/
requesting help/guidance from ... the Universe/the Heavens/whatever your concept of all that is seems to SOMEhow take some of the weight of the world away. It really 'shouldnt' work. But strangely in Really Tricky Times it does seem to work. Just be very gentle with your mind for five minutes and quietly 'listen' to your ... 'heart'... We are emotional/spiritual creatures as well as logical/physical ones. And I guess we have to honour that somehow sometimes. Even if it makes No Sense! Whatsoever!! I kind of hate that it 'works'. But... it does seem to.
 

Trala

Naughty Fairy
Multiple site donor
Awesome site donor
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
So sorry to hear Slim Shaydee.

Nothing breaks your heart quite like an unhappy child. I swear they stay your baby forever. It is devasting as a parent when we can't fix their boo boo's with a bandaid and a cuddle. All you can do is keep reading, and support her.

As Tuttle said, look after you.

Sending you strength and love. Xo
 

GROOVER

Ya bloody bugger
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
Hi Shaydee,

Here in Sydney there is an organisation called Twenty10 (google their website) which is specifically for LGBTIQ youth. I know you are Perth but I am positive there must be a similar organisation in your state.

Twenty10 are a wonderful organisation (it may even be worth calling them) to see if they can help you and James or point you in the right direction.

PM me if you need any further information and take care both of you. xo
 

kxk

SAPIOSEXUAL
Hey @shaydee would a mentor help at all? For my closest oldest friends in WA are LGBTIQ, including 2 of my sisters.

I have ties with some great people who may have suggestions for support, just back from another sister trip to your fine State.

OMG it takes forever getting to my sisters', just wish there was a direct flight to Bunbury or somewhere down there.
WA is weird, bloody difficult finding anything, websites and directories, sources of info are SHIT.
And, since when did you become a separate country???
WA does not recognise concession or discounts from anywhere but WA.
Nothing from the rest of Australia is valid in WA.

Tiger air are good, all the bad stories - well I found them better than jetstar, and i got a return quick trip to WA for $140 and met a really nice lady who should have been travelling with her daughter.

Does anyone know how to access Cannabis oil, may be my sisters last hope, it kills cancer.

I need a rest, then it is back to WA.
Regards to everyone struggling, hurting, grieving, worrying - carrying heavy loads. May good fortune blow some blessings your way:)
 

kxk

SAPIOSEXUAL
Yes please, post the advice part :)

Sounds like your sis has a great Dr and great that you both can do something together and enjoy it.

August sounds fab. Let me know your schedule when you know more. Hoping your trip is a good one, all things considered. x

@shaydee I am back August 3rd for 3 weeks this time, I am finding youtube a great stress reliever, I am doing my sister's musical history with me, some special stuff each decade, and her teen crushes - that is a laugh. She is loving it, she gets a surprise in her facebook messages every day, and a nice lullaby each night:)
And for me - I dance, and listen to dance anthems, you can't be sad dancing.


Here is the 2nd part of that conversation, advice part, that is pertinent to a lot of situations, not just mine - but how weirdly coincidental it came my way.

In 2 parts, as it is too long

Dear Gutted,


After my dad died, I couldn't stand the sound of the television or the radio, the chirpy lilt of news anchors and DJs and voice-over actors, babbling about the latest celebrity gossip or the next big sports event or the low, low prices on Chevy Trucks at a red-hot summer sale. There was no space between their words, no moment where the sadness was allowed to seep in. Even when I walked around in the world, feeling like I was underwater, everything slowed down and painfully clear, the people around me were still moving forward, blindly believing in their own endless progress, their endless reinvention, their endless possibility. We were all tricking ourselves. Things didn't get better and better. Love didn't save anyone. We were all insignificant, invisible, less than nothing. As my plane took off from San Francisco, I remember staring out at thousands of tiny houses and thinking about all of the tiny people inside, whose lives seemed pointless and hopelessly sad to me, just ants scurrying around, busy, busy. One ant dies and the other ants are sad, but then they're back to scurrying the next day. It all added up to nothing.

I don't know that I've ever shaken that perspective completely. The strange indelible stain of a catastrophe stays with you. It alters your DNA. There are always cracks in the pavement after that. A perfect, sunny, wide-open day with nothing but joy on the horizon still feels a tiny bit bittersweet. But that bittersweetness is a kind of gift that keeps your vision from becoming clouded, and keeps you from overvaluing pointless, empty things.

And right now, that jolt, that feeling that the whole world is ending, serves a very specific, concrete purpose: Your sister is here now. You are being called to show up for her, to spend time with her, to help her through this. No matter how gutted and lost you feel, that's what's on the table. Even though you'd like to take her place, you can't. Even though you'd rather crawl into a hole than face this reality, you can't. You don't have a choice. This is where you are. You can see clearly, at last, how fucked everything and everyone is. But you can also see clearly what is being asked of you. You know how important this is.

When you're in a lot of pain, your heart might also close a little. It could take a lot of hard work to pry it back open. When you're devastated, the whole idea of mindfulness feels like a mind fuck, mostly. Breathe in this unthinkable moment, breathe in this terrifying reality, breathe in this impossibly lonely feeling? How the fuck do you do that?

I love what Matt Zoller Seitz wrote about losing his wife, Jen, ten years ago. He described how, in dealing with his unthinkable loss, he kept trying to skip straight to some happy ending over and over again. Here, this will fix it. Get these kids a mother. Here, this job will fix everything. Happy ending! Done.

I'm so prone to that kind of magical thinking. But skipping to the "happy ending" is actually a way of closing your heart or running away. It's a way of believing in some shiny, perfect place where pain is erased, and everything remains stagnant and "HAPPY" forever and ever. It's a way of skipping life. It's a way of ENDING EVERYTHING.

Many, many people, when they're facing an impending loss or when they're living in the wake of one, power down their ability to feel. They become robots. "This is tough, but I can't think about it now," they say, or, "That was tough, but I'm over it now." Sometimes what they really mean is that they're over EVERYTHING. They don't want to be alive and feel pain anymore, so they are half-dead, but they're still haunted.

So how do you stay in this place instead, with your heart open, when there might be no future for your sister and it feels like there's no future for anyone, really? How do you put your clothes on in the morning and look in the mirror without screaming? How do you show up for her, when it feels like you're dying inside? How do you keep pretending, keep tolerating the blindness of everyone and everything around you, keep listening to the chirpy babbling of empty distractions on the radio and the TV and the internet?

You just do. Even though you're gutted, even though you feel like you can't go on, you go through the motions. You'll get up in the morning and you'll wash your face and you'll cry and you'll have to wash your face all over again. These are not hopeful words. This is just what will happen. You will put on some makeup while thinking about how pointless it is. You will get in your car and you'll drive to see your sister and you will see your distant mother and your disappointing, awkward family and you will say mundane things as you bathe in pain. You will try to figure out what she needs, and you'll try to be that thing. You will be frustrated by what she needs, too. You'll think about how differently you would be doing this, if you were the one doing it. And then you'll feel guilty. And then you'll feel angry at your family. And then you'll feel sick inside. All of it will feel impossible. And then one day, you will be sitting in some hospital cafeteria and you'll cry with 50 people seated very close to you, lit by neon lights, and you'll think, "I can't be here, doing this." But you will already be doing it. Then you'll go back up to face your family and say more inadequate things and bathe in more pain.

This is how life will be for you. You can feel hopeful or feel devastated or feel lost or feel angry or feel nothing at all, but this is how it'll be. You will slog forward, knowing all the while that there is no forward, not really. You don't have a choice to sacrifice yourself. You don't have a choice to run away. You'll have to survive and tolerate a lot of terrifying things.

You won't ever shake free of the darkness that you're facing. It will stay with you. It might not make you better. But you will have more. You will be bigger. You will be stronger and maybe also angrier. And your heart might be half-closed for a while, even if you try very hard to avoid that fate.
 

kxk

SAPIOSEXUAL
Sometimes when I write this column, I point people toward the future. Hoping for love isn't really the goal, so much as believing in love, believing that you will love and be loved deeply. Hoping to reengineer yourself until you're better and better and more worthy of love and wealth and happiness isn't really the goal, so much as believing in who you are right now, exactly as messy and incomplete and lost as you are in this moment. I don't believe in the relentless forward march, and I don't even believe in inner peace, exactly. I know I can't manage it myself. I believe in taking in the full force of whatever is in front of you, whether it's a scrap heap of repeated failure or a broken marriage or an impending loss so terrible that you'd do anything to stop it.

I believe in letting the darkness in. That doesn't mean that everyone can do it. Everyone is different. In order to survive this, you might have to turn into a robot and then you might have to smash all of your robot parts to bits in therapy after that. You might have to be a messier mess than you are now. You might have to adopt a sunny outlook, and ignore anyone who is not adequately sunny. You might have to turn your back on anyone who can't have a conversation about darkness. You might have to isolate yourself at some point. Your friends might pull through for you. Your friends might disappoint you. You might realize that you have no friends. You might find that you love your family more than you ever thought you could. You might find that you're more angry and disappointed with them than ever. One thing is certain: You won't be able to keep your distance from them. Give up on that right now, because it's impossible under the circumstances. Brace yourself for that storm, because it's coming whether you like it or not.

The bottom line is that you can't skip this. I hate to sound like an Army drill sergeant, but this shitstorm is part of the bargain of being alive. Everybody gets a big serving of living nightmares. Some people get more than their share, and some people get fewer, but eventually, we're all crawling over sharp rocks on our fucking knees. The pain is unthinkable. Why keep moving?

All I can tell you is that my shredded knees made me tougher and also weaker, bigger and also more fearful. I could handle anything after that, and then sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed. I do think that the darkness I carry around with me gives me strange improvisational skills, an ability to generate hope from a tiny patch of sunlight, an ability to milk some kind of sustenance out of a bad afternoon feeling lonely and sorry for myself for no reason at all. Every now and then I stumble on the saddest words in the world and I cry for a solid five minutes, even though I know this world of ants doesn't add up to much. One part of me believes that when we die, we're dead and gone, and another part believes that the spirits of the dead will dance for us and bring us sustenance when we have nothing but salty tears in a neon-lit hospital cafeteria.

The future might be worse than the past. And it might not exist at all. But there are layers and layers to this moment that we can just barely grasp, and the less we resist the darkness, the more we can feel. Somehow, by making room for the horrors inherent to survival, life feels more valuable and richer and more gratifying.

But we can't escape this moment. We can't skip this part and go straight to some imaginary good part. Our suffering multiples when we try to do that. There is no next big thing. The darkness and the sunshine go together. Love and fear walk hand in hand. Almost everything comes out of the blue. We will wake up and wash our faces and stare in the mirror and we might scream, but after that, we will resolve to savor every moment with someone precious we're about to lose. We will resolve to keep doing our best. Sometimes doing your best involves laughing in the face of the newest shitstorm. Sometimes doing your best means knowing that weather and sports and diets and sales are just smoke and mirrors. Sometimes doing your best means caring way too much about things you have no control over, or caring way too much about people who are about to disappear forever.

You are gutted. This is the end of everything. Maybe there is no tomorrow. But if you make sure not to skip over this part, you will feel things you've never felt before. If you stay right here, and live right here, the world will grow bigger and clearer and more terrifying and more beautiful than it's ever been before. That's what happens when you refuse to look away or protect yourself from what's right in front of you. You can take in the full scope of what you have and what you stand to lose. You can see past the jibber-jabber and the noise and the empty shiny distractions. You understand how little time you have left. You are finally wide awake.

It's excruciating but it's also a kind of beginning. Everyone lands here at some point. Some of us land here a day or two before we die. Some of us land here when we're very young. We are the unlucky ones, but we're also the lucky ones, because we get more than a few hours to see the world through clear eyes.

Let the full force of this moment knock you over if it wants to. You will keep breathing. You will keep waking up and washing your face and showing up where you're needed. Like it or not, you are probably going to survive this. You will have to keep going. You will keep your eyes open. You will do your best.

Source, I have found very useful
http://nymag.com/tags/advice/
 

kxk

SAPIOSEXUAL
@shaydee my ill sister also has mental health issues, I am searching for help for her and I came across this, may be helpful for you???
https://qlife.org.au/

their intro

What is QLife?


QLife is Australia’s first nationally-oriented counselling and referral service for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) people. The project provides nation-wide, early intervention, peer supported telephone and web based services to diverse people of all ages experiencing poor mental health, psychological distress, social isolation, discrimination, experiences of being misgendered and/or other social determinants that impact on their health and wellbeing.

To find out about the project and the communities that we work within contact us now. Our calls are as diverse as our communities!
Why don’t you get in touch today?
Phone Support

1800 184 527

(3pm – 12am every day)

Office Email

[email protected]
 

hooleydooley

Well-Known Member
Haven't really been around much. My daughter.. well.. complicated.. she's transgender and has changed her name legally to James... has suffered with anxiety and depression for about 10 years now. She (she still goes by female pronouns for now but wants to go to male pronouns soon) has had great treatments for her mental health issues. Lots of cognitive behaviour therapy and eventually put on medication which we did as a last resort about 5 years ago and it has helped her lots. She has had a major relapse the last 2 weeks. It's so horrible to watch & to try & help. She hasn't been to college for 2 weeks, has barely been able to get out of bed really & she has had some real manic days where she's been hyper for a short while, laughing hysterically, then withdrawing again a hour later. As she is 18 now (she's quite a young 18 in a lot of ways.. but an old soul too) a lot of youth mental health places she used in the past are no longer available to her. We have an appt at Headspace on July 11th. That was the earliest we could get her in. We also have an appt with the youth worker & psychologist at college on Thursday... but the problem is, if she doesn't go to college, then they can't help her. It's a tough one. She hasn't had thoughts of suicide this time (thankfully!!!) but has had thoughts of self harm. It's just so exhausting for me... it must be 100 x more exhausting for her. Not sure really why I vented all this here. I don't know if anyone else on here has had similar issues or knows anyone with similar issues and if they have any tips from a human point of view. I've read everything on Beyond Blue and loads more sites and I don't really get any more information & knowledge about it all than I already know. Just putting it out there I guess. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks guys :)
Sorry - I am responding late. Much Love sent. I don't have kids, so I really have no advice, nor would I be able to assist - only that I am hear for you if you need my ear xxxxxx
 

hooleydooley

Well-Known Member
I am really quite concerned at the way some people (well, one in particular) posts on these forums. I was given a type load of words that was very nasty and for someone that says that they can see Brinkpeople is very concerning. The words that were spat at me, could turn a person, at the Brink - to make a very bad decision.

I think this persons words sum it up, who this person really is. I believe I am compassionate and try to understand whatever people posts are about and are going through. Going off topic on a thread, can happen - but to upset the people that are having a chat about a meeting up and by who would never intend to ever meet up, is beyond me.

This is what is had said to me

Kindly speak on your own behalf, hooley. You are neither objective nor mentally equipped to judge others. Your repetitive hard knock life self pitying skit and bellyaching are hardly intelligent, constructive or enjoyable. Move on. reepbot has more optimism in his 'dribble' than your jaded at life toxic bile.

And that was in response to this:

umm I think this thread was about a real time meet up, that I am sure you or WB would never be interested in - so why bother posting in here?

I can so understand Groovers frustration at your 'different' ways of posting, when she posts facts and how she really feels. I so get her frustration with the way you act around here, I get it but I have been trying to understand why you keep on doing so.......... attention seeking? I really don't get it.

Just to make life better for others on the forum, that wish to have a friendly chat and on the point - maybe I suggest, why don't you just stick to your own thread? You will get the people who wish to converse with you there. I do think you have good qualities - but sometimes you can be a really annoying poster - with nothing but dribble that makes no sense .......

Think about it ..........



ANYWAY - I won't be go taking my life over it, even though the person that can see 'brinkpeople', and he may want me to , seeing he said what he did about me and I am so not like that ......

The point is - that there are fragile people out there - those brinks - people do NOT need to be TOLD that they are this and that. He has it STATED on his profile that HE CAN SEE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so MAJOR BULLY TACTICS and what brings a person to do that, to another???????

Anyway, all is good - My Life goes on and maybe soon there will be no Forum here and that might be a good thing, if people like this are allowed to say things about others and drag up the past, that they have moved on from

#RIPCharlotteDawson xxxxxxxx
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top