I actually think she is more put together than he is. She knows what she wants, sure she isn't perfect, but he isn't either. He can't decide what he wants and seems to say one thing and do another, he is never clear to say what he really wants and can't articulate his point and make a decision. He just seems to babble his way out of things and it's no longer an issue because he confuses the other person. He is not confident of saying what he really is thinking and worries way too much about what others will think. She lives for herself, will put it all out there and put herself on the line- no matter how humiliating that may be- she shows more guts and therefore is more put together, even if she doesn't believe it!
He is more selfish and self serving for the reasons I listed above because rather than make a decision he flip flops all over the place to try and keep things even to benefit himself.