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Post BB - Housemate Antics 2013 - Part 2

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Tim's replied to the posters on his insty

timdormerDon't misunderstand what I am saying. If we are to celebrate the joys of life we shouldn't be afraid to also acknowledge the really shit times. Some of my closest friends suffer from depression and I am sick of people not talking about it. If there was no stigma and if people didn't use euphemisms to deal with the reality of suicide then maybe more people would be aware of those around them that might be struggling to choose life. I never want my friends who are struggling to ever feel alone and without a choice to go on.

Aaaaannnnndddddd there it is...
 
Honestly Tim deserves whatever flack he gets.

My father struggled with clinical depression for most of his adult life and as a result I watched him struggle with it for my entire life. I know just how hard it is for those who suffer with mental illness and it's attitudes like the one Tim's shown that help absolutely no one. It's simply not a matter of choosing anything - it's not a switch. Do you think my dad didn't want to choose life? Of course he did! He fought his absolute hardest for many many years to overcome his demons. He saw all the shrinks, tried all the therapies and treatments including ECT, but in the end he just couldn't fight any more. Does that make him weak? No, far from it. He's the strongest person I've ever known and I'm eternally grateful for the strength he showed in fighting for so long because he was a truly amazing father. In the end my father, like Robin, chose peace and I will never ever begrudge him that because he earned it.

Mental illness is a complicated issue and Tim's comments are just evidence to the fact that very few people understand it. Sadly we'll continue to see such uninformed and damaging comments until we as a society are willing to have frank and open conversations about it.

Absolutely get you 100%
 
Tim's replied to the posters on his insty

timdormerDon't misunderstand what I am saying. If we are to celebrate the joys of life we shouldn't be afraid to also acknowledge the really shit times. Some of my closest friends suffer from depression and I am sick of people not talking about it. If there was no stigma and if people didn't use euphemisms to deal with the reality of suicide then maybe more people would be aware of those around them that might be struggling to choose life. I never want my friends who are struggling to ever feel alone and without a choice to go on.
This doesn't even make sense to me. It's a bunch of jibber jabber. He's sick of people not talking about depression so he tells them to choose life. Which is basically a big SHUT UP and FUCK YOU to anyone with depression. He doesn't want his friends to ever feel alone... well I sure as hell wouldn't go talk to him just to have him yammer on about choosing life. Who wouldn't choose life if it were that simple? Is he for real with this horseshit?!

Nah, fuck outta here. I'm done with him.
 
No doubt. I just hope he takes it as an opportunity to realises how dangerous a comment it was. People suffering with mental illness have enough on their plate without being made to feel worse by people telling them to 'get over it'.

A few years ago, one of my friends who works in health was depressed and suicidal - she disclosed to her boss, who is a Social Worker, and now holds a very high position in the Health system, that she felt she couldn't go on - he told her to "get over it". Being ruthless and not caring is an asset in today's society. I'd rather be fair, kind and paid a lot less rather than causing damage to other people
 
Tully Smyth ‏@tee_smyth 2m
Currently eating lunch at a traditional Scottish pub older than AUS. I'll have the 'Haggis, Neeps & Tatties' please...#whateverthatis
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Tim's replied to the posters on his insty

timdormerDon't misunderstand what I am saying. If we are to celebrate the joys of life we shouldn't be afraid to also acknowledge the really shit times. Some of my closest friends suffer from depression and I am sick of people not talking about it. If there was no stigma and if people didn't use euphemisms to deal with the reality of suicide then maybe more people would be aware of those around them that might be struggling to choose life. I never want my friends who are struggling to ever feel alone and without a choice to go on.

Ok so now to play devils advocate. I think I see what he was getting at in that he reckons he meant it in a 'carpe diem' sort of way for everyone but the original is a little bare of context and can easily be interpreted as 'some people have real diseases so you should just get over it'. Maybe he should expound a bit more in future.
 
No doubt. I just hope he takes it as an opportunity to realises how dangerous a comment it was. People suffering with mental illness have enough on their plate without being made to feel worse by people telling them to 'get over it'.

Yep. He just has absolutely no awareness, and the fact that he thinks he has any right to tell someone that has a mental illness what to feel or what to do is horrifying IMO.

What's worse is that a lot of his fans seem very impressionable. I've seen them praise him for a lot of questionable things he's done and go into battle for him when he's been called on a stunt. I'd hate for anyone to start being of the belief that it's a "choice" because they got that impression from Tim.

1 step forward, 2 back for mental health awareness sadly.
 
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A woman on Insta said this:

carlagfc@timdormer nice try but i also read your twitter comments. You can back pedal all you want but the damage is done. Good luck with that, Karma I believe its called!

So I go to look at his Twitter and find this:

Just Because I Love ‏@HarmonyHarms 3h
@timdormer did you hear Robin Williams died :'(


tim dormer ‏@timdormer 3h
@HarmonyHarms yes sad. A lot of people died today. Some of them didn't want to.


Pause while he goes to post on Instagram 2 hours ago and starts copping a lot of flack...

Then he heads back to Twitter singing a different tune:

Teagan ‏@ladytea13 1h
Really @timdormer ? Thats a bit harsh. Depression is real. And I think if he had a choice to be live happily he would have.

tim dormer ‏@timdormer 43m
@ladytea13 some of my closest friends have or have had depression. I know it's real. Why are people afraid to talk about it?





I'm sticking with my first reaction to his comment.
 
A woman on Insta said this:

carlagfc@timdormer nice try but i also read your twitter comments. You can back pedal all you want but the damage is done. Good luck with that, Karma I believe its called!

So I go to look at his Twitter and find this:

Just Because I Love ‏@HarmonyHarms 3h
@timdormer did you hear Robin Williams died :'(


tim dormer ‏@timdormer 3h
@HarmonyHarms yes sad. A lot of people died today. Some of them didn't want to.


Pause while he goes to post on Instagram and starts copping a lot of flack...

Then back to Twitter:

Teagan ‏@ladytea13 1h
Really @timdormer ? Thats a bit harsh. Depression is real. And I think if he had a choice to be live happily he would have.

tim dormer ‏@timdormer 43m
@ladytea13 some of my closest friends have or have had depression. I know it's real. Why are people afraid to talk about it?





I'm sticking with my first reaction to his comment.

Yep. No more devils advocate for me. Back pedal away Tim.

FYI people who commit suicide don't want to die either.
 
Having lost several people by their own hand, I was totally baffled and disgusted by his first post and then his follow up comment.

He's really made a hash of both comments.

If you're going to comment on such a sensitive subject be a little more sensitive and compassionate. I would have thought with his religious training he would have been far more understanding.

PS: I am sorry for your loss Consuela and Insomniac
 
A woman on Insta said this:

carlagfc@timdormer nice try but i also read your twitter comments. You can back pedal all you want but the damage is done. Good luck with that, Karma I believe its called!

So I go to look at his Twitter and find this:

Just Because I Love ‏@HarmonyHarms 3h
@timdormer did you hear Robin Williams died :'(


tim dormer ‏@timdormer 3h
@HarmonyHarms yes sad. A lot of people died today. Some of them didn't want to.


Pause while he goes to post on Instagram 2 hours ago and starts copping a lot of flack...

Then he heads back to Twitter singing a different tune:

Teagan ‏@ladytea13 1h
Really @timdormer ? Thats a bit harsh. Depression is real. And I think if he had a choice to be live happily he would have.

tim dormer ‏@timdormer 43m
@ladytea13 some of my closest friends have or have had depression. I know it's real. Why are people afraid to talk about it?





I'm sticking with my first reaction to his comment.

i a bit worried about the 'have had depression' i am reading too much in to the words now
 
A few years ago, one of my friends who works in health was depressed and suicidal - she disclosed to her boss, who is a Social Worker, and now holds a very high position in the Health system, that she felt she couldn't go on - he told her to "get over it". Being ruthless and not caring is an asset in today's society. I'd rather be fair, kind and paid a lot less rather than causing damage to other people

So disheartening when you have responses like that especially from someone who ought to know better. Slowly attitudes are changing and although we have a long way to go there are promising initiatives out there like the R U OK? campaign, which is a good first step. People just need to be stop being afraid of getting honest answers and be willing to have actual conversations. You may not understand completely what the other person is going through but often letting them talk with you and showing them they don't need to be ashamed of, or alone, in their struggle can do them a world of good.
 
Yep. No more devils advocate for me. Back pedal away Tim.

FYI people who commit suicide don't want to die either.
There is nothing, nothing on this subject that angers me more than people who write off suicide in terms of, "well, he wanted to die, so...." Uh uh. There's a world of difference between wanting to die and wanting to live but simply not being able to anymore. I can't blame people for not even wanting to try to fathom that, but again, then don't presume to know what you're talking about.
 
There is nothing, nothing on this subject that angers me more than people who write off suicide in terms of, "well, he wanted to die, so...." Uh uh. There's a world of difference between wanting to die and wanting to live but simply not being able to anymore. I can't blame people for not even wanting to try to fathom that, but again, then don't presume to know what you're talking about.

So so true. Sometimes people really shock you at their lack of understanding and then follow it up with ridiculous comments.

For example my Mum didn't always have an easy time coping with Dad's depression and as a result their marriage wasn't always the greatest so she'd have a vent and whatnot to her friends about how she was feeling and they'd be all 'why don't you just get a divorce' which would leave her absolutely shocked. She always replied 'because I love him' and more often than not found better friends.
 
Yeah, I agree totally. If he had any experience with what leads up to such a decision and what a devastating long term effect it has on those left behind there is NO way he would be so utterly insensitive at such a tragic time..
As someone whose parent chose the same path, as well as being a person with compassion, my heart is absolutely breaking for his children, his wife, and in fact for him to feel this was his option..
I can tell you that the very last thing those people need is judgment from others regarding a father they love, miss, and all the emotions that will come... utterly devastated.
Grow up Tim please, it's not about you.

For once I have to say, not everything needs an opinion. He didn't need to have an opinion on this. What he needed to do was show understanding.

Thank you to you and @Consuela for sharing your story with us all, and thank you for both shedding not only compassion to all that suffer in silent but offering understanding and peace of mind that they are not bad people :)
 
So so true. Sometimes people really shock you at their lack of understanding and then follow it up with ridiculous comments.

For example my Mum didn't always have an easy time coping with Dad's depression and as a result their marriage wasn't always the greatest so she'd have a vent and whatnot to her friends about how she was feeling and they'd be all 'why don't you just get a divorce' which would leave her absolutely shocked. She always replied 'because I love him' and more often than not found better friends.

I like the sounds of your Mum! Give her an extra hug from me next time you see her :)
 
A few years ago, one of my friends who works in health was depressed and suicidal - she disclosed to her boss, who is a Social Worker, and now holds a very high position in the Health system, that she felt she couldn't go on - he told her to "get over it". Being ruthless and not caring is an asset in today's society. I'd rather be fair, kind and paid a lot less rather than causing damage to other people

Me too. What if the last time someone decided to live was the the time you basically told someone to get over it... I could not live with myself knowing that. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. That boss sounds like a first class wanker
 
Thank you to you and @Consuela for sharing your story with us all, and thank you for both shedding not only compassion to all that suffer in silent but offering understanding and peace of mind that they are not bad people :)

It's my pleasure. It's the silver lining to these tragic events that they can start conversations as I'm very passionate about mental health, what with my experiences with Dad and even myself when I was coming to terms with my sexuality. I was lucky to have a more open family than most to be able to talk about these things so I'm always happy to share my experiences.

Also I'll just put it out there that if anyone ever wants to have a chat my inbox is always open. :)

I like the sounds of your Mum! Give her an extra hug from me next time you see her :)

I have an amazing family that's for sure! Public holiday tomorrow so I'm seeing her then so I'll be sure to pass that hug on.
 
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