MasterChef Australia: Fans & Favourites

Mr Stickyfingers

an old fart that rants at times...
Awesome site donor
Jock:… “today our ‘hero’ dish is the humble turd… yes… a freshly laid shit… laid by all of our judges and camera crew… nice and hot and steamy turds… if you are thinking ’they are not food or ingredients ‘… remember… they once were so technically… they still are… you have only 42 hours to plate time so use your time wisely… so… go!”…

…(42 hours later)…

Jock:…”okay!… your time is up!… we’ve picked the three best looking dishes…so Julie…. what do you have for us?…

Julie:… “well Jock… I have the classic ‘shit on toast’ dish that when we as kids would shout out to our mum ‘mum!… what’s for lunch?’… she used to shout back ‘Shit On Toast!’ just to shut us up (such a fond memory… I think I’m going to cry)… so it’s ’Shit On Toast’ garnished with a few of my Pubic Hairs that are freshly plucked (they brought a helluva lot of tears to my eyes believe me… I nearly cried again)… and I’ve poured Snot Brûlée Sauce on top to finish it off… so it’s ‘Shit On Toast with Pubic Hair Garnish and Snot Brûlée Sauce’… I hope that you enjoy it”…

…(all the judges try it)…”ooh!… yum!… absolutely devine!… they say collectively)…

Melissa:… “I think that I’m having an edible orgasm!”…

Andy:… “Billie… what do you have for us?”…

Billie:… “I have a Kentucky Fried Turd with a flavoursome spiced Saliva dipping sauce that was created while the Sun was slowly setting at Stonehenge during a Druid Virgin Sacrificing Ceremony”…so it’s ‘Kentucky Fried Turd with Saliva Dipping Sauce’… I hope that you enjoy it”…

…(all the judges try it)… a few disgruntled snuffling and snorting noises ensue…

Jock:… ”that was alright but because Julie is our favourite and she’s going to win this anyway all we can say is… ‘well done’ Billie”…

Melissa:… “okay Sashi… what so you have?”…

Sashi:… “well… I have a ‘Deep Fried Frozen Turd with a Body Sweat Sorbet and sprinkled with Crusty Crunchy Toenail Clippings’… I dropped the turd onto the floor so I quickly whipped up one myself… enjoy!”…

…(all the judges try it)… more disgruntled noises and “blah!” comments later…

Andy:… “ just… too many Crusty Crunchy Toenail Clippings I’m afraid… plus… you technically broke the rules when you made a new turd… it had to be replaced by one of us… (you only needed to ask)… now because Julie has been picked to win this whole series we’re obligated to declare her todays winner!… well done our sweet beloved favourite Julie!… thats tonights episode… be sure to tune in for our next ‘Elephant Scrotum’ episode… bye all”…


…there you have it… cheers. 🤓😜🤪🥸😇
 

Converse

Well-Known Member
Jock:… “today our ‘hero’ dish is the humble turd… yes… a freshly laid shit… laid by all of our judges and camera crew… nice and hot and steamy turds… if you are thinking ’they are not food or ingredients ‘… remember… they once were so technically… they still are… you have only 42 hours to plate time so use your time wisely… so… go!”…

…(42 hours later)…

Jock:…”okay!… your time is up!… we’ve picked the three best looking dishes…so Julie…. what do you have for us?…

Julie:… “well Jock… I have the classic ‘shit on toast’ dish that when we as kids would shout out to our mum ‘mum!… what’s for lunch?’… she used to shout back ‘Shit On Toast!’ just to shut us up (such a fond memory… I think I’m going to cry)… so it’s ’Shit On Toast’ garnished with a few of my Pubic Hairs that are freshly plucked (they brought a helluva lot of tears to my eyes believe me… I nearly cried again)… and I’ve poured Snot Brûlée Sauce on top to finish it off… so it’s ‘Shit On Toast with Pubic Hair Garnish and Snot Brûlée Sauce’… I hope that you enjoy it”…

…(all the judges try it)…”ooh!… yum!… absolutely devine!… they say collectively)…

Melissa:… “I think that I’m having an edible orgasm!”…

Andy:… “Billie… what do you have for us?”…

Billie:… “I have a Kentucky Fried Turd with a flavoursome spiced Saliva dipping sauce that was created while the Sun was slowly setting at Stonehenge during a Druid Virgin Sacrificing Ceremony”…so it’s ‘Kentucky Fried Turd with Saliva Dipping Sauce’… I hope that you enjoy it”…

…(all the judges try it)… a few disgruntled snuffling and snorting noises ensue…

Jock:… ”that was alright but because Julie is our favourite and she’s going to win this anyway all we can say is… ‘well done’ Billie”…

Melissa:… “okay Sashi… what so you have?”…

Sashi:… “well… I have a ‘Deep Fried Frozen Turd with a Body Sweat Sorbet and sprinkled with Crusty Crunchy Toenail Clippings’… I dropped the turd onto the floor so I quickly whipped up one myself… enjoy!”…

…(all the judges try it)… more disgruntled noises and “blah!” comments later…

Andy:… “ just… too many Crusty Crunchy Toenail Clippings I’m afraid… plus… you technically broke the rules when you made a new turd… it had to be replaced by one of us… (you only needed to ask)… now because Julie has been picked to win this whole series we’re obligated to declare her todays winner!… well done our sweet beloved favourite Julie!… thats tonights episode… be sure to tune in for our next ‘Elephant Scrotum’ episode… bye all”…


…there you have it… cheers. 🤓😜🤪🥸😇

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! ROFLMAO!!!! :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:🤣🤣🤣😂😂😅😅😆😆😍😁😄😃 ROFLMAO!!! Seriously mate my sides are hurting and my eyes are running!!! I am still laughing just looking up at the delicious dishes being served up by the contestants! ROFLMAO! :roflmao:🤣😂😅😆

That's absolute comedy GOLD there Mr Stickyfingers mate!! Classic legendary stuff!! CHEERS!! Can't stop laughing!!! 🤣😂😅😄

ROFLMAO!!! 1651943475441.png
 

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Bring on the eggs!
I like eggs.
Looking forward to see if there's anything different to do with them I fancy.
 
Last edited:

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Daniel scared me. I didnt think he'd pull it off. He looked like he was trying too hard, but he did it!
 

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Ali did really well. I love scotch eggs too, but the veggie version without sausage meat around them. Hers I'll try.
 

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Christina's rice looks terrible against Julie's.
And she's being very vocal, trying to behave like a judge with her shouting and clapping. What's all that about? I🤫
 

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Had to laugh at Danial and the Kale! I am not a fan of Kale, either; and unfortunately it seemed it was a case of hunt the Kale, which was silly of him. It's not as if he had to eat it himself.
Just noticed Mel's dress o_O Her wardrobe has been terrible!
 

February

I think, therefore I am, I think ...
Wow, not such a landmark win for Tommy, but at least he scraped through.
Christina was beginning to annoy me.
 
Top