Housemate #5 TULLY!

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I don't get how she can say "When I'm with a girl I'm a lesbian and when I'm with a boy I'm bi." I hope I'm not the only one but those words don't sit well with me.
 
I understand what Tully is getting at when she says she's basically hesitant to call herself bisexual when she's in a relationship with women. People tend to treat female bisexuality as "just a phase". I also know a lot of lesbians who say point blank they refuse to have relationships with bisexual women. I think people tend to view sexuality as being very black and white, so if you say you're straight you must be 100% for penis, if you say you're lesbian you must be 100% for pussy, and if you say you're bisexual you must be 50/50. Some people have preferences. Tully's preference IS women. So I get why she identifies the way she does, and I think everyone is free to identify as whatever they want to identify as.... but it's all a bit confusing and I can also see why people find it problematic or misrepresentative.

That's why I respond more to Tim's view of sexuality, where labels are pointless because human sexuality is so fluid and everchanging. When he said you choose your sexuality I don't think he meant you choose whether you have homosexual tendencies, but you do choose how/if to label it and bottle it and present it to the world. Tully chooses to identify publicly as a lesbian. It's her choice to make, even if it's not the most "accurate" label.
 
des moines said:
I understand what Tully is getting at when she says she's basically hesitant to call herself bisexual when she's in a relationship with women. People tend to treat female bisexuality as "just a phase". I also know a lot of lesbians who say point blank they refuse to have relationships with bisexual women. I think people tend to view sexuality as being very black and white, so if you say you're straight you must be 100% for penis, if you say you're lesbian you must be 100% for pussy, and if you say you're bisexual you must be 50/50. Some people have preferences. Tully's preference IS women. So I get why she identifies the way she does, and I think everyone is free to identify as whatever they want to identify as.... but it's all a bit confusing and I can also see why people find it problematic or misrepresentative.

That's why I respond more to Tim's view of sexuality, where labels are pointless because human sexuality is so fluid and everchanging. When he said you choose your sexuality I don't think he meant you choose whether you have homosexual tendencies, but you do choose how/if to label it and bottle it and present it to the world. Tully chooses to identify publicly as a lesbian. It's her choice to make, even if it's not the most "accurate" label.
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Just want to say that I've been reading the forum for a while now, only just started posting, and I always sit here nodding my head to everything you write :)
 
Queen Alla said:
Just want to say that I've been reading the forum for a while now, only just started posting, and I always sit here nodding my head to everything you write :)
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Aww thanks hun!

I admit it's an issue I think about a lot, as a woman who identifies as "straight but open minded" despite being technically bisexual... is it right to call myself bisexual, knowing most people hear that term and presume my attraction to both sexes will be 50/50, when my preference is still men? I am open to the possibility of being in a sexual and romantic relationship with women, and I have felt sexual attraction towards women, but my preference is still men and I have only ever had boyfriends. On the Kinsey scale I'm about a 1 or a 1.5. So is it right to label myself as bisexual? Does "straight" more accurately define my sexuality? Am I misleading people by calling myself one instead of the other? It's all so needlessly complicated. That's why I think labels are silly. I am what I am, I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to, I fuck who I fuck and I love who I love. I don't consider my sexuality to be a defining part of my identity, but I know it's a very important part of other people's identities, so who am I to say. Live and let live imo.
 
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Tesa Davies said:
I think the "overreaction" is pretty spot on, good to see that most people don't condone cheating.
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That's where we'd disagree, because I'm worried about the reaction to a mistake she made in handling her relationships in a very unique situation being a bit of a hateful mob mentality that will continue and result in her having to deal with a fair bit of bullying from behind keyboards when she gets out if people don't sober up from it a bit. Some are going to take it too far and really make things miserable for her. That's what I don't condone, I absolutely hate bullying and I'm worried that there is a very probable chance of it happening to her from people who actually feel that they're justified in doing it. I just hope she at least has good people around her when she gets out to keep things sane.
 
Just remind me, when she went into the house did she have lesbian stamped on her forehead so we all knew? or was that her "thing"? because she had a GF you all just assumed it. Also her and Tahlia could have an open relationship, you guys dont know the full situation! Tahlia seems to be taking it better than you guys and you dont even know the girl.
 
Max Power said:
That's where we'd disagree, because I'm worried about the reaction to a mistake she made in handling her relationships in a very unique situation being a bit of a hateful mob mentality that will continue and result in her having to deal with a fair bit of bullying from behind keyboards when she gets out if people don't sober up from it a bit. Some are going to take it too far and really make things miserable for her. That's what I don't condone, I absolutely hate bullying and I'm worried that there is a very probable chance of it happening to her from people who actually feel that they're justified in doing it. I just hope she at least has good people around her when she gets out to keep things sane.
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Yes, I hope she has a good support network around her when she gets out too.
 
Chump said:
Don't worry, IMO GalPal is just part of the social media strategist support crew. They throw any random stuff in to try and deflect from Tullys behaviour! Once the dullards are out Tully will follow soon enough
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At least you guys have got a good reason to hate her now, so that makes a difference.
 
CASEYBB said:
At least you guys have got a good reason to hate her now, so that makes a difference.
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I have never hated her. Still don't. I would hate to have her in my real life. I hate her selfish manipulative uncaring actions, in particular with regards to her ex (whatever sex the ex is), I hate the thought of her getting any kind of reward for the behaviour she has displayed (starting from very early on in the show) and I hate the way so many people are trying to defend the actions of someone with such a terrible approach to life and the people in their life ...... But no I don't hate her. I partly pity her if anything because what a sad and unrewarding way to live
 
des moines said:
I understand what Tully is getting at when she says she's basically hesitant to call herself bisexual when she's in a relationship with women. People tend to treat female bisexuality as "just a phase". I also know a lot of lesbians who say point blank they refuse to have relationships with bisexual women. I think people tend to view sexuality as being very black and white, so if you say you're straight you must be 100% for penis, if you say you're lesbian you must be 100% for pussy, and if you say you're bisexual you must be 50/50. Some people have preferences. Tully's preference IS women. So I get why she identifies the way she does, and I think everyone is free to identify as whatever they want to identify as.... but it's all a bit confusing and I can also see why people find it problematic or misrepresentative.

That's why I respond more to Tim's view of sexuality, where labels are pointless because human sexuality is so fluid and everchanging. When he said you choose your sexuality I don't think he meant you choose whether you have homosexual tendencies, but you do choose how/if to label it and bottle it and present it to the world. Tully chooses to identify publicly as a lesbian. It's her choice to make, even if it's not the most "accurate" label.
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I know a lot of girls that identify as Tully does, and she does have a point.
In a relationship with a girl, she is a lesbian, as it's a lesbian relationship however it's quite a misleading way to describe sexuality.
Because if you say you're lesbian, most people are going to assume you feel nothing for men, which as you can see is not the case with Tully.
Even saying she prefers women doesn't appear to be accurate either, it didn't look like she viewed any of the women in the house as a lesbian....I know she likes her andro girls but at least Tahan, come on!

And yeah, you're right, most dykes don't want jack from bisexuals, you can see why!!
Girl is clearly bisexual, she'll end up married down the track...to a guy.
 
Max Power said:
That's where we'd disagree, because I'm worried about the reaction to a mistake she made in handling her relationships in a very unique situation being a bit of a hateful mob mentality that will continue and result in her having to deal with a fair bit of bullying from behind keyboards when she gets out if people don't sober up from it a bit. Some are going to take it too far and really make things miserable for her. That's what I don't condone, I absolutely hate bullying and I'm worried that there is a very probable chance of it happening to her from people who actually feel that they're justified in doing it. I just hope she at least has good people around her when she gets out to keep things sane.
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Well tbh I don't really care what happens to her after the show, she made her bed, face the consequences, maybe it will teach her not to be so stupid.
 
Nup. Hasbian. Has been a lesbian. I seriously doubt this one will be going back. As [MENTION=11846]Sorceress[/MENTION] said, she will end up married to a guy.
 
Tully will get voted out..Drew will score with one of the intruders and Tully will be left with SQUAT! Great outcome ;)
 
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