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Game Forum - BIG BROTHER

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Spock said:
So @Inigo Montoya ... since @reepbot has gone to bed ...

Wanna make out?
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ummm... ok...

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<Spocks colon informed him with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that something very big was about to come out of him. So he heads to the two toilets in the back yard.

Toilet number 1 was occupied by @miamiBRICE.

Toilet number 2 was clean but bathroom protocol forbids it's use, as it's next to an occupied one.

So Spock went to the toilet in the main bathroom. There was poo on the seat.

So he then went to the toilet adjoined to the Purple Room. There was poo and toilet paper in the bowl and an unidentifiable liquid splattered on the seat.

Clearly, it had to be toilet number 2, outside. Spock trudged back, entered, dropped trousers and sat down. Spock is normally a fairly shameful shitter. He wasn’t happy about being next to an occupied toilet, but big things were afoot.

Spock was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sounds of dog panting came from next door, followed by the occupant saying in a baby voice "who's a good boy, who's a good boy". It appeared as though @miamiBRICE took the dog into the toilet with him to keep him company. Out of Shameful habit, Spock's sphincter slammed shut.

The inane conversation went on and on. @miamiBRICE spoke to the dog about the shitty day he had. Spock sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, Spock became angrier and angrier, thinking that he, too, had a crappy day, but he was too polite to yak about it out loud. Particularly to a dog.

Spock's bowels let him know in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t get crapping soon, his day would be getting even crappier.

Finally Spock's anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. He no longer cared. He gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced his other hand against the wall, and pushed with all his might. Spock was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude – a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. He managed to hit the resonance frequency of the toilet stall, and it shook gently.

Once Spock's cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:
(1) The next-door conversation had ceased
(2) Spock's colon’s continued seizing indicated that there was more to come
(3) the whole area was now beset by a horrible, Eldridge stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made it into the adjacent toilet and began choking my poop-mate. This initial “herald” fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.

“Oh my God,” Spock heard @miamiBRICE utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, “No, Buzz, that wasn’t me (cough, gag).”

Now there was no stopping Spock. He pushed for all he was worth. Spock could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, he was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in him was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, Spock saw that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all he could do was hang on for the ride.

Next door Spock could hear @miamiBRICE fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over Spock's anal symphony: “Gotta get out … horrible … throw up … in my mouth … not … make it … oh God…” followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

There was a lull in Spock's production, and the whole area became deathly quiet. He could envision @miamiBRICE standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from Spock's behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. He heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the toilet door was thrown open. Spock heard @miamiBRICE running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, the poor dog still trapped within.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, Spock got up and surveyed the damage. He felt bad for the poor forumate who’d be forced to deal with this, but he knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

Spock exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and shameless, looking around for a face glaring at him. But he saw no one. Spock then let the poor dog out of the first toilet. The dog ran off, clearly traumatized by the entire experience. Spock suspects that somehow his supernatural elimination has managed to transfer his shamefulness to his poop-mate. Spock thinks it’ll be a long time before @miamiBRICE can bring himself to poop in a toilet which has a neighboring toilet next to it — and Spock doubts that @miamiBRICE will ever again let a dog in the loo with him.>

And this, my friends, is why you should never talk to a dog while on the toilet.
 
Spock said:
<Spocks colon informed him with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that something very big was about to come out of him. So he heads to the two toilets in the back yard.

Toilet number 1 was occupied by @miamiBRICE.

Toilet number 2 was clean but bathroom protocol forbids it's use, as it's next to an occupied one.

So Spock went to the toilet in the main bathroom. There was poo on the seat.

So he then went to the toilet adjoined to the Purple Room. There was poo and toilet paper in the bowl and an unidentifiable liquid splattered on the seat.

Clearly, it had to be toilet number 2, outside. Spock trudged back, entered, dropped trousers and sat down. Spock is normally a fairly shameful shitter. He wasn’t happy about being next to an occupied toilet, but big things were afoot.

Spock was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sounds of dog panting came from next door, followed by the occupant saying in a baby voice "who's a good boy, who's a good boy". It appeared as though @miamiBRICE took the dog into the toilet with him to keep him company. Out of Shameful habit, Spock's sphincter slammed shut.

The inane conversation went on and on. @miamiBRICE spoke to the dog about the shitty day he had. Spock sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, Spock became angrier and angrier, thinking that he, too, had a crappy day, but he was too polite to yak about it out loud. Particularly to a dog.

Spock's bowels let him know in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t get crapping soon, his day would be getting even crappier.

Finally Spock's anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. He no longer cared. He gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced his other hand against the wall, and pushed with all his might. Spock was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude – a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. He managed to hit the resonance frequency of the toilet stall, and it shook gently.

Once Spock's cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:
(1) The next-door conversation had ceased
(2) Spock's colon’s continued seizing indicated that there was more to come
(3) the whole area was now beset by a horrible, Eldridge stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made it into the adjacent toilet and began choking my poop-mate. This initial “herald” fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.

“Oh my God,” Spock heard @miamiBRICE utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, “No, Buzz, that wasn’t me (cough, gag).”

Now there was no stopping Spock. He pushed for all he was worth. Spock could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, he was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in him was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, Spock saw that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all he could do was hang on for the ride.

Next door Spock could hear @miamiBRICE fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over Spock's anal symphony: “Gotta get out … horrible … throw up … in my mouth … not … make it … oh God…” followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

There was a lull in Spock's production, and the whole area became deathly quiet. He could envision @miamiBRICE standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from Spock's behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. He heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the toilet door was thrown open. Spock heard @miamiBRICE running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, the poor dog still trapped within.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, Spock got up and surveyed the damage. He felt bad for the poor forumate who’d be forced to deal with this, but he knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

Spock exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and shameless, looking around for a face glaring at him. But he saw no one. Spock then let the poor dog out of the first toilet. The dog ran off, clearly traumatized by the entire experience. Spock suspects that somehow his supernatural elimination has managed to transfer his shamefulness to his poop-mate. Spock thinks it’ll be a long time before @miamiBRICE can bring himself to poop in a toilet which has a neighboring toilet next to it — and Spock doubts that @miamiBRICE will ever again let a dog in the loo with him.>

And this, my friends, is why you should never talk to a dog while on the toilet.
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OH.MY.GOD :asshat::asshat::asshat::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::poop::asshat::asshat::asshat:

I hope no one is eating breakfast whilst reading your CRAP! (or even imagining it)

Poor @miamiBRICE - he certainly needs sympathy votes after that! I was wondering where he got to ............
 
I want to know, who is in charge of cleaning these Toilets? (I've been peeing in the Garden) and the food here has made me a bit plugged up, so it was NOT my remains in any of the Toilets ..............
 
hooleydooley said:
you know @Spock - I really think you are going to be in the shit, real time, tomorrow .... Best of luck with that mate!
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I think I'll be fine. Big Brother will completely ignore my late-night bowel problems because he'll be too busy dealing out punishments for the crazy crap @reepbot and @Inigo Montoya got up to last night. In fact he might even see it as an opportunity. Their punishment could be that they have to clean up the mess I left in toilet number 2!
 
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