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Defence-gate...
- Thread starter kbomb247
- Start date
seneca
Well-Known Member
No one likes being called defensive. So it is not a good subject to make a joke out of, especially such a laboured joke like the one that was made last night. But it went on too long, and it did turn a bit ugly. It found myself cringing. Fair enough, David was only kidding, sort of, but he was also criticizing Priya to a bunch of outsiders.
I think there was a subconscious motivation to David's joke: David wanted the newcomers to think that Priya was even lower down the pecking order than him. That is David's insecurity shining through.
Priya may well be defensive (not that BB has shown much of this "defensiveness" before), but her correcting Travis saying it was hot chocolate not coffee was not being defensive. It was her story, and the whole point of it was that she was in a hyper-relaxed state and that is why she fell asleep. Hot chocolate is relaxing, whereas of course coffee wakes you up. It was a minor point, but she didn't say it in a defensive way. Hot chocolate makes for a better story.
David was definitely being very defensive when Priya brought it up with him. For some reason instead of saying, "oh sorry, did I cross the line? I am such dick sometimes, please forgive me" like a gentlemen, he instead had to make a debate over it. For some reason he had to justify his actions and show that Priya was in the wrong for allegedly "not getting the Australian sense of humour". Then when it looked like he was losing the debate he had to ramp it up a notch it up by getting angry over Priya's inadvertently pointing the finger momentarily. Talk about deflection.
David seems to find it hard to apologize. He acted exactly the same way with Lisa over the boob-gate issue. Once again instead of accepting that he put his foot in his mouth (it happens, no big deal) he had make a debate over it, making it out to somehow be Lisa's problem. When you sincerely apologize, you don't turn it around on the other person. Even if you don't fully understand why the other person was hurt, it doesn't matter, you just say sorry. You don't have to justify yourself. That is defensiveness.
At the end of the day the whole event was very minor. There was no shouting or abuse. No threats of violence. Priya stood up for herself but she didn't do what Lisa did and tell David that he was loser and someone she would never associate with. But this is Big Brother. Everything is under a microscope.
I think there was a subconscious motivation to David's joke: David wanted the newcomers to think that Priya was even lower down the pecking order than him. That is David's insecurity shining through.
Priya may well be defensive (not that BB has shown much of this "defensiveness" before), but her correcting Travis saying it was hot chocolate not coffee was not being defensive. It was her story, and the whole point of it was that she was in a hyper-relaxed state and that is why she fell asleep. Hot chocolate is relaxing, whereas of course coffee wakes you up. It was a minor point, but she didn't say it in a defensive way. Hot chocolate makes for a better story.
David was definitely being very defensive when Priya brought it up with him. For some reason instead of saying, "oh sorry, did I cross the line? I am such dick sometimes, please forgive me" like a gentlemen, he instead had to make a debate over it. For some reason he had to justify his actions and show that Priya was in the wrong for allegedly "not getting the Australian sense of humour". Then when it looked like he was losing the debate he had to ramp it up a notch it up by getting angry over Priya's inadvertently pointing the finger momentarily. Talk about deflection.
David seems to find it hard to apologize. He acted exactly the same way with Lisa over the boob-gate issue. Once again instead of accepting that he put his foot in his mouth (it happens, no big deal) he had make a debate over it, making it out to somehow be Lisa's problem. When you sincerely apologize, you don't turn it around on the other person. Even if you don't fully understand why the other person was hurt, it doesn't matter, you just say sorry. You don't have to justify yourself. That is defensiveness.
At the end of the day the whole event was very minor. There was no shouting or abuse. No threats of violence. Priya stood up for herself but she didn't do what Lisa did and tell David that he was loser and someone she would never associate with. But this is Big Brother. Everything is under a microscope.
I thought it was funny.
If I were her I would have gone "lol fuck off you spazzes" or said "clearly I've got late onset narcolepsy because of your boring asses" and then thrashed David/Travis a little. I know emotions are probably heightened in there but I thought the whole thing was blown out of proportion.. I usually side with Priya too but this time just seemed a little silly (from what we've seen anyway - Editing etc... It was probably a hell of a lot different in there).
If I were her I would have gone "lol fuck off you spazzes" or said "clearly I've got late onset narcolepsy because of your boring asses" and then thrashed David/Travis a little. I know emotions are probably heightened in there but I thought the whole thing was blown out of proportion.. I usually side with Priya too but this time just seemed a little silly (from what we've seen anyway - Editing etc... It was probably a hell of a lot different in there).
Like I said in the Daily Show thread, I think it was one of those instances where no party was really in the "wrong". If the boys thought they were just having a fun joke with her and didn't mean any malice there there's no issue...at the same time if Priya felt offended then there's no issue with her defending herself either.
At the end of the day though they're over it and were hugging the following night and people are still arguing over it here.
At the end of the day though they're over it and were hugging the following night and people are still arguing over it here.
RenThraysk
Active Member
I don't think Priya liked the fact of her incurring a fail in the task was being brought up with the new house mates standing there.
She seems to have become very insecure in the house of late, so that's exacerbating things.
She seems to have become very insecure in the house of late, so that's exacerbating things.
P
Paige
Guest
If I was in Priya's position I would have been really bothered. Not only were they ganging up on her and chanting loudly over her attempts to respond but they were also being physically imposing by standing over her. Especially noticeable when Richard felt the need to climb up onto the step to stand over Priya to defend his boy David.
Also, what was with David's throwaway comment about ignoring women when they get worked up until they shut up?? I've really liked David so far but that comment spoke multitudes for why he is 31 and hasn't sustained a long term relationship with a woman.
Agree 100%, David is clearly really insecure. He is still one of my favourite housemates but last night really showcased a few of his flaws.
Also, what was with David's throwaway comment about ignoring women when they get worked up until they shut up?? I've really liked David so far but that comment spoke multitudes for why he is 31 and hasn't sustained a long term relationship with a woman.
I think there was a subconscious motivation to David's joke: David wanted the newcomers to think that Priya was even lower down the pecking order than him. That is David's insecurity shining through.
Agree 100%, David is clearly really insecure. He is still one of my favourite housemates but last night really showcased a few of his flaws.
L
lilithdoll
Guest
I'm all for girl power and to never feel like you aren't entitled to express your feelings about a situation as insignificant as it may be.. but yeah in my own opinion Priya was a little too preachy for my liking. I still enjoyed seeing the boys grovel at her feet like peasants to a queen
Michka26
Libra - the diplomat of the zodiac
I think she has her lady friends visiting....
"chanting..... defense.... chanting..... defense...chanting.....chanting.....chanting...defense....defense....defense"
WTF??!!!!!
FFS talk about blown out of proportion much? WEIRD!!!!!!
and the boys response back....PUH-THE-TIC
"chanting..... defense.... chanting..... defense...chanting.....chanting.....chanting...defense....defense....defense"
WTF??!!!!!
FFS talk about blown out of proportion much? WEIRD!!!!!!
and the boys response back....PUH-THE-TIC
Melore
Tiny Member
Priya's reaction was completely justified. If it was only Travis and Dave that chanted or whatever, she may not have felt offended.. but the fact that these two strangers joined in and pretty much humiliated her was what made it a big deal.
Plus, the energy. Energetically it had a lord of the flies feel to it - regardless of whether it was all in good fun.
I didn't like David's eyes and general expression as he "patiently" listened to her in the kitchen. He was like that with Lisa. I rose above it, then. Ha! I found excuses for him. (Just socially awkward and bad with apologies and trying too hard to fit in with the boys; and all the above apply now equally.) But I shan't be so quick to make excuses for him now.
I thought she handled it well at the time, but it kept churning inside her so she brought it up and good on her. Far preferable to the endless behind doors snitching, bitching, and complaining in bitter tones about minor and imagined slights, that is the usual response to any hurt or ruffled feelings in the house. I am also glad she did not let it drop until she was satisfied she'd said her piece - brought out a lot of true colours in the new guys.
Tahan
BB13 Housemate
Yes, but Tom coming to David's defence was SO clearly an act.Priya was in the pool joking around with a couple of the girls and the 4 guys, and then after the "defence, defence" chanting was a bit of debate/banter going on when David replied to some comments she had made but I think what really got Priya upset was after Tom was the rude when he told her to keep her mouth shut, him and Travis were supposedly 'joking' around defending David...
Priya felt that she could talk to David to clear the air and they sorted things out, they agreed to chat Travis, Richard and Tom to bring the issue out into the open.
There seems to be more about what happened from what other HM's mentioned later...BB only shows us parts of their convos
It was so exaggerated and comical, I don't think he truly meant it whatsoever. It was funny. I thought it was funny lol
It was pretty funny.David acting like Priya - who is around Aussie teenagers everyday and has been living here for years and years - does not understand Australian culture was condescending. David is terrible, and always tries to deflect the problem onto someone else.
Priya simply said that she fell asleep drinking hot chocolate, as her drinking coffee and falling asleep seems silly, and David starting chanting "Defense". So uncalled for. I get David is trying to be funny, but it does not come off like that. I am happy PRISUS stood up for herself and took a direct approach instead of being passive about it. You could hear in her voice during the kitchen conversation that it really did effect her.
It doesn't matter if it's hot chocolate or coffee, that's sort of the point. When I heard it, I was with David in that, it was such a minute detail.
Yeah, at the end of the day it's all jokes, but the thing that makes it funny because it's so close to the truth.
PassionPop
Cheap & Nasty
I was watching it and thinking how over dramatic it all was, then I got to thinking that some people are just more sensative in certain situations. I can take being teased 1 on 1 for days, but as soon as more than one person joins it, I start swinging.
What's appropriate 1 on 1, usually isn't 4 on 1. No one likes to be the person singled out no matter how harmless the joking is.
What's appropriate 1 on 1, usually isn't 4 on 1. No one likes to be the person singled out no matter how harmless the joking is.
Kismet
This IS me.
What are people's opinions on tonight's goings-on? I'm very much on the fence. In my mind, there are 3 issues:
*I 100% understand Priya getting offended about the new boys crossing boundaries with their banter. My best friend of 14 years and I use words like "scrag", "bitch", "moll", "wench " and "idiot-features" almost like terms of endearment lol. Anyone else who called me that would cop, at the very least, a stern tongue-lashing. I also think it was wrong of the original boys to 'misrepresent' Priya. So yes, I don't think she over-reacted at all.
*Travis, as usual, wasn't intelligent enough to understand the argument. It was nothing specifically to do with "disrespecting a woman"
*and here is where I'm on the fence. The version of the argument that Priya relayed to the girls in the bedroom was inaccurate. If you're going to take the moral high ground, at least be honest about why.
It has to be understood though, these extra two guys (Richard and Tom) HAVE seen what she's like. Sure, they may be intruders but they would not have been in lockdown since September. She IS pedantic to the point of condescension and it does come across as her being overly defensive.
Indeed, her re-telling of the situation to the girls was different to the actual turn of event, but she was "offended" that Travis said she was drinking coffee in the diary room when she corrected him and said, "no it was hot chocolate". She's a hypocrite.
Tahan
BB13 Housemate
I can't remember what Priya said, but I did think what she told the girls was completely different and yeah, definitely makes her a hypocrite.It has to be understood though, these extra two guys (Richard and Tom) HAVE seen what she's like. Sure, they may be intruders but they would not have been in lockdown since September. She IS pedantic to the point of condescension and it does come across as her being overly defensive.
Indeed, her re-telling of the situation to the girls was different to the actual turn of event, but she was "offended" that Travis said she was drinking coffee in the diary room when she corrected him and said, "no it was hot chocolate". She's a hypocrite.
Kismet
This IS me.
I can't remember what Priya said, but I did think what she told the girls was completely different and yeah, definitely makes her a hypocrite.
I watched the EP this morning on "jump-in". She lied about what was said and also lied by omission by NOT telling the whole story as we saw it play out.
P
Paige
Guest
I watched the EP this morning on "jump-in". She lied about what was said and also lied by omission by NOT telling the whole story as we saw it play out.
But we didn't see the WHOLE story play out either. Big Brother editors are the lords of lies of omissions.
She lied about what was said and also lied by omission by NOT telling the whole story as we saw it play out.
Hopefully the viewers will remember that she lied & it's not the 1st time she has stretched the truth.
Kismet
This IS me.
But we didn't see the WHOLE story play out either. Big Brother editors are the lords of lies of omissions.
That's part of my point. What we DID see though, is that Priya changed up in her relay of even the little WE saw.
OO_17
Well-Known Member
But then you wouldn't have been able to make a spectacle of it to the Australian public by putting "4 men" in their places therefore cementing your position as "the tough b*tch who doesn't take sh*t from nobody". Priya is simply trying to get air-time. With ALL HMs nominated this week she needs to find a way to stand out from the herd. I reckon deep down she is spewing being put in the sanctuary by Ryan. Also, did you notice the way Priya re-told the story to Aisha & Skye and completely changed it? She does that ALL the time when re-telling stories to make herself look better. Remember when she told Aisha "BB asked me who could really use the $ so I brought you in" re the $25k $elf evict episode when in reality BB asked her "who is coasting in the game?" & her answer was "Aisha" and therefore BB brought Aisha in. Priya is a master manipulator & I really don't like it or her for that matter. I no longer worship the false prophet.I thought it was funny.
If I were her I would have gone "lol fuck off you spazzes" or said "clearly I've got late onset narcolepsy because of your boring asses" and then thrashed David/Travis a little. I know emotions are probably heightened in there but I thought the whole thing was blown out of proportion.. I usually side with Priya too but this time just seemed a little silly (from what we've seen anyway - Editing etc... It was probably a hell of a lot different in there).
JohnnyG
Well-Known Member
Shes imploding, she thought she knew the game but Big Brother has changed it up and she cant handle it. She's starting to squirm and the defencegate situation has shown us what shes really like, a whining prat. She cant handle the newbies they mess with hergame plan.
Dont get me wrong, I dont want to see her gone, its going to be hilarious watching her self destruct. Big Brother can see it too, thats why he keeps asking her what she thinks... he's messing with her head. This is the psychological torment they all need.
Dont get me wrong, I dont want to see her gone, its going to be hilarious watching her self destruct. Big Brother can see it too, thats why he keeps asking her what she thinks... he's messing with her head. This is the psychological torment they all need.