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Celebrity Big Brother UK - January 2016

I think you take the cake for the most entertaining recount, Absolutely amazing! Please write the articles for the Mirror, 1000% times better than the shit they write

...hahaha!... thanks BigBrotherCritic... it sure would be a lot of fun but they would all have lawsuits against me when they got out I imagine lol!... cheers.
 
can't believe the female panelist said on BBOTS that Nancy handled the incarceration well ... she DID say she might refuse (and probably only backed down when she saw others saying they could be punished if she did that) and she DID comment that she was over it and might have to talk to her lawyer - if that was handling it well I guess she was wanting to witness a major tanty ... I'm sure they will be on their way soon

shopping task - should be interesting ... Nancy will want to spend the budget on wine ... leaving crumbs for her minions

...hahaha!... that is probably soooooo true!... lol!... cheers.
 
...today's episode:... oh gawd... from the look of the previews it looks like it's all going to be about Stephanie 'trying so hard to be faithful to her 'BOYFRIEND' on the outside'... **yawn... B-O-R-I-N-G!!!!**... wow!...I just saw this shot of Daniella...

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...I read that she's about 52 or 53 but she looks so much older in that shot... I didn't even realise that it was her until I saw her name come up... I actually thought that she was only in her 40's until I Googled her birth date just a moment ago... the camera was not so flattering for her there I'm afraid... anyhow... moving on...

...I really like Darren Day... although it seems like a there's a bit of a pissing contest going on between him and David Gest for who knows the most celebrities at the moment lol!... hmmmm!... I can see why Gemma is rubbing you the wrong way Dystopia with her whinging in the Diary Room about David Gest lol!... Jonathan carried on like a pork chop with his 'blowup' with Nancy... what a spoilt little turd he is... I'd like to see how long he would last in 'The Box'... so!... he gets to choose who gets what in all of the privileges... his choices were pretty predictable in most things... Angie and Nancy going into 'The Box' for instance... Gemma misses out on hers... David gets his 'romantic dinner'... Kristina gets nothing... (very appropriate... she is nothing)...Stephanie gets a 'Tweet' about herself (ho hum)... Angie didn't catch hers (luckily for her)... Darren got boxing gloves... Daniella has 'lost her identity' forever what the hell that means?... Christopher receives a signed photo of Rylan Clark (he'll be batting off to that tonight no doubt)... Tiffany gets immunity at the next nominations (good... she needs to stay in for a tad bit longer)... Nancy gets 'incarceration'... Jonathan gets the massage of course... Scotty T gets luxury food for the whole house... John has to do his next nominations 'face to face' :rolleyes: (whoop-di-friggin'-do!)... Jeremy the jerk-off says something but I have absolutely no idea what the hell he says!... Megan get's nothing... (ditto as above)...

...well that was as boring as shit wasn't it?... what a total waste of time as far as I'm concerned... Tiffany starts 'struttin' her stuff '... mouthing off to Jonathan about how she can't stand anyone in the house not realising that they all don't really like her and are ignoring her that's causing her to feel like she's 'out of the loop'... (what a silly misguided girl she is)... Angie in the Diary Room saying that she doesn't like Jonathan... (I'm with you girl)...

...it sounds like Gemma was getting a tad bit excited while the three girls were talking about the guys dicks... haha!... she's like a hand-grenade with the pin pulled out that one... (didn't Jonathan look uncomfortable when Big Brother was going to announce who chose which presents each one got?... Jonathan is such a plonker... (I'm still waiting to be 'entertained 24 hours a day' by him yet)... the sooner he goes the better in my books... I'm so tired of him now...

...perhaps the boxing gloves that John Partridge got were given to him to have a boxing match with Winston when he comes back into the house?... lol!... so nobody can now talk to Daniella?... (she will probably have a nicer stay in the house now)... OH MY F@#$ing GOD!!!... Stiff fanny... oops!... I mean... Stephanie is in the Diary Room blubbering... she's worried about losing her 'BOYFRIEND' on the outside due her her... um... how do I say this nicely?... um... her... 'dalliances' with the other guys in the house... (I'm so proud of myself for not writing 'SLUTTY-NESS!'... because that's part of my 'try-not-to-get-so-angry-with-the-housemates' vow that I made to myself)... **Sticky pats himself on the back**... moving on...

...Nancy is talking about contacting her lawyers about being stuck outside in that jail lol!... (she's obviously not used to 'roughing it' is she lol!)... I noticed that Big Brother released her not long afterwards... (good bluff Nancy... you are a clever lady aren't you?... lol!)... ewwww!... Tiffany getting all 'excited' about Jeremy giving her a 'tougue-kiss'... (so much for her hating everyone in the house eh?)... BLURGH!... Megan saying 'goodnight' to Scotty T... what the hell do they see in him?... he's a complete twat!... I mean... SERIOUSLY... they have been in the house for not even a whole week yet!... Jeremy is in the Diary Room talking about Stiff Fanny... oopsies!... Stephanie... saying that their relationship is 'more than just friends'... oh puhleeeeeezzzzzzzzze!... again... SERIOUSLY?... give me a break!... end of show... now to watch BOTS!... cheers.

How did you know I was going to read this Sticky you wizard? As usual I disagree with most of what you say... most, not all, but I do enjoy reading your unscripted, impromptu deliberations. :laugh:
 
Tonights episode was probably one of the most shocking/ funny episodes i have seen in a while.

I can now officially say that i hate John and want him out as soon as possible. Always wanting to take the moral high ground and saying what he thinks the public wants to hear. The way he spoke to Tiffany was horrid.

Tiffany made an honest mistake, because when she told everyone that Angie told her David had died they all immediately thought it was David Guest as well.

The only thing Tiffany did wrong was try to cover up that she had make a mistake by lying and saying that Angie specifically told her David Guest.
 
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sounds as if Tiffany is lucky she's got immunity - but people have long memories in the CBBUK house - especially when having to think of someone to nominate next week

if they were all thinking David Gest died - where was he at the time and why didn't they know he was there and alive and kicking?

(editing) - I've seen now that he wasn't feeling well and went to bed early ... sorry!
 
Omg Tiffany...
TiffanyTiffanyTiffanyTiffanyTiffanyTiffanyTiffany .....

This is really tragic...... really fucking tragic...

And why the fuck am I laughing?!! Holy shit! TIFFANY!

OMG! A MAN IS DEAD AND I AM LAUGHING!!! She went crazy! And then turned it into a "self-centered bitchfest (tm)."

Otherwise in the house, today's most interesting moment was definitely this commentary from narrator Marcus Bentley:

"Stephanie and Jeremy are brushing their teeth."
Ste-fanny end Jeremy are brooshing their teeeehth
thrilling...
 
yep Jonathon - run off because you're the idiot who gave Tiffany immunity!

that BS carry on of hers - just as Gemma said "you're not on YOUR reality tv show now dear!"

was this episode Gemma's audition for the UN Peace Keeping Forces??

but her classic line (and we ALL knew it was coming!!) "I WANT MY SHOES BACK" rotf!!!

The very last thing that Angie needed was the hysterics and then witchiness from Tiffany ... Angie can't be blamed for not being clearer about which David had died ffs ...

Thinking it will take a bit more than an offer of making tea/coffee for Tiffany to get back into people's good graces
 
Wow what a clusterfuck that was.

I feel sorry for Tiffany, that was an epic miscommunication.

He is a prick that John guy, not the Kardashian John but the other one who led the revolt against Tiffany, he is a bit of a bully.

As for the Kardashian, what a waste of time he was. Hope they don't pay him.

That house is dead without Tiffany, the rest of them are as boring as bat shit quite frankly.
 
Well Jonathon wasn't any more entertaining in BBOTS than inside the house and yes its obvious that he has absolutely no intention of introducing Gemma to KimmieK .. maybe he WILL visit her when he comes to the UK (and make use of her when and as he can) but he's not going to introduce anyone into the inner circle unless KimmieK says to him "ohhh I liked that girl on CBBUK - introduce me" - and that's just NOT going to happen

as for the nominations

did noone listen to what Angie was saying? - that she felt safer and more protected in the house than she would be outside of it right now - from the media who would probably hound her
yet they're saying she'd be better out of the house - ummm its HER choice not theirs .. why not wait a few days and see how she's handling things - if she's not coping she'll probably ask to leave herself - she won't need to be evicted to do it.
 
Oookayyyy... now we have "David-Gate"! The mind boggles. The best soapie script writers couldn't have come up with what just went down.

The real problem Tiffany has is the "gosh-thingy"... oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh about 25 times in a row. A good friend told me that gosh is a pseudonym for god... sorry, God, but Americans are taught at a young age not to use the Lord's name in vain because of the sinnin' and all that stuff - yes, it's BLASPHEMY!! LOL
...so poor Tiffy must have mistaken one of her "gosh's" for "Gest" easily done ergo, she was under the impression that Angie had said: David Gest.
There is no excuse for Tiffy's ensuing hysteria and despite the difference of skin-colour and all-over physical prominence, she reminded me of last year's Farrah... in so many ways. The utter lack of logic, the angry outburst and the sheer stupidity. Incidentally they are both from LA at least by proxy... I'm being polite again NOT saying that they both are from across the pond... and again I'm being polite. :p

I can just see the BOTS hyena-crowd following the HMs and tearing into Tiffy, another victim has been found, I guess there is nothing one can do, the rabble will be the rabble. I wonder, will ANYONE observe that Tiffy mentioned that according to the contract HMs were not going to have any contact with the outside world and that therefore she could not possibly have assumed that the "dead David" could be one outside of the house? She has a point methinks.

While all this is happening, "Beached Whale" Gemma is sitting dumbfounded. Jaw dropped, her vacant eyes glance from the left to the right and back again... she's obviously trying to persuade her few remaining brain cells to give her at least a hint of what is going on.
But it will take time yet, so much so, that she can leisurely braid her hair to be the Gretel to her Hansel-Jonathan. What a deluded cow.

Is anyone still doubting the perspicaciousness of Lady Nancy? She kept out of it like the Queen of England. Let the commoners slaughter each other.

Saint John the Comforter (as per earlier in the DR) like in a horror movie is turning from a Saint into a Demon. His eyes change, he grinds his teeth and his utterances are drenched with bile. HE... decides that Tiffy must go and achieves consensus with a single sentence. (If only our politicians were capable of such feats).
There is no doubt in my mind that Demon John is already jostling for position, he probably has done since day one. He is a devious bitch and a reasonable actor. I said REASONABLE folks which means, a trained eye can see right through him.
Something tells me that if Tifffy keeps it together against all odds and survives say three more weeks, he'll get so frustrated that he'll be running to the DR, crying and wanting to leave... just to gather sympathy of course. Little bitch. ...because, Tiffy an't gonna take no shit from no-one!!!

Meanwhile the Beached Whale Gemma aka Gretel learns that her Hansel is going to forsake her... like Jesus on the crosss, she's gonna be hung out to dry and left there to rot... "Romeo oh Romeo..." but to no avail, it is over. Not even her Ugh Boots or her promises of a pink paradise could dissuade her Hansel not to dump her like one of those useless bread crumbs... one last look in your eyes oh my beloved...

gemma.JPG

...the last few seconds before she expires after her last imaginary orgasm...

But... she is a tough one. Like the Phoenix from the ashes she arises. Her first thought after rebooting: Shoes... "I WANT MY SHOES BACK!! " she exclaims and off she steams, now she's on a mission. She has found new use in her useless existence. She will destroy Tiffany.

Tiffy, being from Lala Land LA (being polite again) has no idea what "gentle big momma" Beached Whale has up her sleeve and bites, hook line and sinker. It must be Whale's patronising tone because nobody can be so stupid to fall for that shit... go offer them tea and coffee - what, NOW? - yes now. WRONG time Tiffy, the British have to sleep over it and the Whale knows it. One for the Whale but just wait until Tiffy figures it all out. There's gonna be hell in paradise!! :woot::woot::woot:
 
Wow what a clusterfuck that was.

I feel sorry for Tiffany, that was an epic miscommunication.

He is a prick that John guy, not the Kardashian John but the other one who led the revolt against Tiffany, he is a bit of a bully.

As for the Kardashian, what a waste of time he was. Hope they don't pay him.

That house is dead without Tiffany, the rest of them are as boring as bat shit quite frankly.
I don't think we saw a half of what went down with Tiffany because listening to the other housemates they felt intimidated and wary of her - they didn't feel safe around her. I think she went right off and it wasn't what they could show even on Channel 5 - there's limits.

John is the person they all seem happy to have as their leader/spokesperson - AND he's man enough to do it.

Witness weak-as-water Christopher who firstly manipulated Tiffany into a meeting she didn't ask for and then when the house said No Thanks he wasn't game enough to go back to Tiffany and say the meeting wasn't going to happen. Grow a pair Christopher!!
 
Is anyone still doubting the perspicaciousness of Lady Nancy? She kept out of it like the Queen of England. Let the commoners slaughter each other.

yep - maybe you haven't watched BBOTS and Jonathan telling everyone that Nancy sleeps in for an hour after others have been up, showered, dressed, made breakfast and cleaned up - yet expects them all to serve and clean up after her ... and then spends hours each day doing her makeup ... then at the end of the day waltzes off to take a shower making the others have to wait for lights out until she is done ... her world revolves around her wants/needs - noone else's.

she was "out of it" not because of any higher mindfulness but because she was either sleeping off the latest wine-fest, lazing in bed like QueenMuckettyMuck or plastering her face with spakfiller yet again darrrrrrlinnng

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...Todays Show:... (a marathon read today... I've exceeded the 10,000 word limit apparently :rolleyes:... lol!... sorry about that)... so this is Part 1...

...they show Angie in the Diary Room after having been told about her ex -husbands death and she is honest enough to tell Big Brother that she hasn't seen him for so many years (going on 40) and that she can't really 'make a big drama out of it' (they never spoke)... kudos to her for not milking it for airtime and then she touches on her mothers death and then she loses it and starts crying... it seems that David's death genuinely suddenly hit her as the news sank in... she goes to tears and Big Brother brings in John and David Gest in to console her... I really felt for her in those few minutes... understandably they are both shocked by David Bowie's death from Cancer... 'the stardust has gone'... a great line from Angie... admittedly John and David Gest were really good with being thrown into the situation to be honest... she asks them not to say anything to the others and they agree not to...

...Angie (looking in an emotionally drained state) is then in the kitchen and decides to open up to Tiffany about Bowie's death... she obviously needs to offload onto someone about it and tells her... Tiffany's response is totally over the top and is quite ridiculous... Angie is genuinely trying to deal with Bowie's death and she is carrying on like that... of course against Angie's wishes she starts gathering everyone to blurt out Angie's news...she milks it out until they are all pleading with her to tell them and then blurts out that 'David is dead!'... they all go into a panic believing that DAVID GEST is dead???... I mean... really?.... how bloody stupid are they?... Angie was married to David Bowie and all of them were well aware of that fact so why would she be saying that it was DAVID GEST????... what idiots!... I just can't believe that they would all believe it to be David Gest...

...I'm pretty sure that if Angie had stumbled across David Gest's dead body that she would've let out a very loud scream and that Big Brother would've instantly announced the discovery straight away... why on earth would Angie be going around trying to keep the discovery of David Gest's dead body a secret????... she may look like the raggedy old 'cat lady' from The Simpsons but she isn't!... Tiffany damn well knew that Angie wouldn't have been talking about David Gest when she gathered around her captive audience to eke out the suspense for a few seconds before announcing with great gusto... "DAVID"S DEAD!!!!!"... she knows that Angie wouldn't keep a housemates death secret but saw an opportunity to get some great dramatic airtime for herself at Angie's expense!!!... what a selfish C*W!!!!!!...

...and all of the dumb-arsed bingaloids all 'panicking' because they thought David Gest was dead... really?... how simple are they... they all knew too that Angie was married to David Bowie... so much for Angie being able to grieve for David Bowie in her own way eh?... I know that David Gest looks like a walking corpse but that doesn't mean that he's actually dead FFS!... not one of those nuff nuffs thought for one second that Big Brother would've been the first one onto it to say something???... what a load of brainless boofheads they are...

...Tiffany milked the whole shebang for everything that she could the demented dipshit!... she then blatantly LIED that Angie said the words "David Gest" to make herself look less stupid when Angie didn't!... she just said... "David" (obviously referring to her ex-husband... hmmmmm!... how about re-showing that conversation to all of the other housemates Big Brother to show that she's lying about Angie?... WHAT A LYING C*W!!!... milk that airtime Tiffany... milk that airtime!...

...cut back to Angie blubbering her heart out in the Diary Room... back to Tiffany defending her stupid self with... "I thought he died in the Diary Room!"... (DUH!... more reason for Big Brother to announce David Gests apparent 'death' first you stupid bimboid!!!)... during the post mortem of what happened while Angie is trying to deal with what happened the rest of the housemates are muttering and mumbling about Angie!... why?... about what Angie said?... it should be about how Tiffany snatched the opportunity at Angie's expense to be the melodrama Queen milking the opportunity for exposed airtime!... what is wrong with them???... :bang::bang::bang::bang::mad::punch::rage:...

...Angie's explanation in the Diary Room is as valid as it actually is... Daniella has the wrong information in the other part of the house telling whoever quite wrongly that Angie told Tiffany that DAVID GEST had died when she didn't... (I expected better than that from you Daniella... I really did!)... again Big Brother... replay back the conversation... now we have 'I'm walking' Jonathan (Johnny Walker) saying with a great big proclamation... "I'm not well with crazy people... I'm not well with crazy people... her husband is not dead!"... oh really?... is that right you brainless buttplug?... so you've managed to resurrect David Bowie now have you?... if so... a profound 'thankyou' from me and the rest of the whole fucking world you tosser!... and you're 'not well with crazy people'???... you hang around leeching off the Karshitians you dingbat!!!... they're the biggest bunch of dysfunctional crazy people on this planet!... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::bang:...

...much to his credit John tried to intimate to everyone (because it wasn't his place to reveal to them) without actually telling them that it was David Bowie that had died... all of them shut up for a few moments and Tiffany crouches down and looks at herself in a window to contemplate about how fucking stupid she looks... (either that or she was having a quick dump in the garden bed or on the lawn)... 'I'm walking' Jonathan stands silent and humming to himself like Kim Karshitians cherished super-sized vibrator and everyone stays silent...

...kooming uuuup... the howse turns on Tiffaneeeeee!!!!... (I can't wait to see this)... (part 2 next)... cheers.
 
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...Todays Show:... (part 2)...

...tiffany starts back peddling with the "mah contract sez that yo get no outside info-mation blah blah!"... "ah didn't make no fuckin' mistake!"... statements... when Darren Day told her that she told everyone that she specifically said that "David Gest" had died (because she misquoted Angie)... (most likely deliberately as far as I'm concerned)... she told him to 'go away and leave her alone'... an obvious sign that she knows that she's been well and truly caught out lying... Daniella starts talking sense again thank god... Angie leaves the Diary Room and everyone starts genuinely consoling her and Tiffany starts on her... Tiffany stands alone at the pool chuffing on a cigga and starts giggling to herslf?????... what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-her????...

...hahaha!... Angie tells all of the housemates "that it is on tape" and freely admits that she didn't actually say 'Bowie' when telling Tiffany so she's being as honest as she can be from what I can see... Tiffany finally leaves the bathroom (after sulking no doubt)... and comes out 'struttin her stuff'... "ah no youall hate me blah blah!"... "gengar gengar gengar eyes!"... (whatever the hell that means?)... she starts giggling like a demented banshee and talking incoherently and walks away and huddles down again as if she's taking another quick dump...

...John (the obvious self appointed spokes person for the house now) tells her outright that... "people don't want you here!... they are going to leave if you stay... people don't want to be around you... they feel threatened by you"... it looks like old 'honest John' has done it again... (all credit to him being like that and everything but his sanctimonious attitude is starting to rub my feckles the wrong way now I have to say)... when asked by Gemma if she would like to apologise to Angie Tiffany replies... "ahm not gonna apologise to that ol' bitch!"... (best way to crucify yourself even more girl)... she struts out to the garden to take it further with Angie and the rest of them and Big Brother then calls her to the Diary Room...

..."get mah shit ahm a ready to go!"... she orders Big Brother... he tells her that he's giving her time to 'calm down'... she babbles and babbles and babbles her bullshit for what seems like an eternity and then it cuts to the break...

...back from the break and she has calmed down and then returns to the house... everyone stops talking... Nancy breaks the silence and talks with her... Gemma tells 'I'm walking' Jonathan the jumped up little jerk-off that she doesn't want him to go... what's wrong Gemma?... are you worried that your free ticket to get into the Karshitian Family circle is walking away from you?... you're so transparent you dumb floosie... stop crawling up to him... you won't see him for dust once he's gone lol!... 'I'm walking' Jonathan is now in the Diary Room and makes some pathetic excuses for wanting to leave... don't be fooled peoples... his proclamation of "I'm not well with crazy people... I'm not well with crazy people... her husband is not dead!"... is why you are really going you plonker... when you were standing there on your own and humming to yourself you realised that everyone thought that you were an idiot after that statement... your ego can't stand the idea that people think of you like that and that's the real reason that you are leaving old son! (as far as I'm concerned at least)...

...'I'm walking' Jonathan bids all of the housemates farewell and Gemma is lying there blubbering her tits off because her route to 'Hollywood mingling' is walking out of the door... goodbye meal ticket!!!... (more like 'good riddance to bad rubbish' )... 'Johnny Walker' finally goes... woohoo!... cringey Christopher tries to be the big mediator between the housemates and Tiffany and falls flat on his face when everyone tells him to tell her to come out and speak to them herself... John really hits the mark when he says... "once again somebody else is doing her shit for her etc etc... you're not her bitch! blah blah... she's had enough airtime today!"... <<<<... WHAM!!!... right there folks!!!... (well said old son!)... lol!...

...David Gest is back from the grave... (only just by the look of it)... (he's looking like Kieth Richards left testicle as of late)... cringey Christopher is petrified that he has to go back outside to tell Tiffany all of that... he walks away with his tail between his legs... (a great confidence boost for him eh?)... Tiffany is sitting out there as 'Nigella no friends' as John goes out to break the news to her because cringey Christopher didn't have the balls to say it to her lol!...

...now it's 'date time' for David and Jeremy after David won it in the task the day before... Jeremy is there as Liza Minelli... **YAWN**... David says that he would love to have some of Jeremy's 'cheese'... hmmmmm!... enough said methinks!... a ginormous blubberfest happens as Tiffany finally apologises to Angie about the big tantrum earlier... (too late Tiffany... the damage is well and truly done girl)... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:... Tiffany says to Gemma... "ah've made up fo mah sins tonight"... ummm!... sure Tiffany... you keep on believing that... the rest of the housemates don't believe a word that you say I'm afraid... Gemma tells her that... "you're not on your Reality Show now luv!"... um... perhaps not on her one Gemma... but she's she's on this one at the moment... or isn't she aware of it?... hmmmm!... strange...

...is it me or what?... Gemma is having a heart to heart with Tiffany about helping out around the house but I've never witnessed her doing it herself... haha!... everyone fobs Tiffany off when she 'offers to help'... jeez that was unexpected wasn't it?... NOT!... anyhow... that's the end of the show... I really enjoyed this episode in seeing that 'sassy mega queen bitch' brought down a few notches to the real world and even becoming a tad bit humble for a brief couple of minutes... I can't wait to see BOTS next... cheers.
 
I can just see the BOTS hyena-crowd following the HMs and tearing into Tiffy, another victim has been found, I guess there is nothing one can do, the rabble will be the rabble. I wonder, will ANYONE observe that Tiffy mentioned that according to the contract HMs were not going to have any contact with the outside world and that therefore she could not possibly have assumed that the "dead David" could be one outside of the house? She has a point methinks.

before entering the house BB housemates are allowed to nominate events they wish to be informed of or NOT informed of as the case may be

in BBUS Frankie was told about the death of his grandfather - as was Derrek ... in BBAU Josh was told when his brother died ... its usually not trivial stuff like footie scores or even world news ... but family stuff ... hatch, match or dispatch ...

I'm not certain Angie was even privy to the state of David's health - he seems to have kept it very much a private matter and she certainly wasn't part of his inner circle - however maybe nominated to be told of anything affecting her son and daughter - or maybe her manager made the call to BB and said she needed to be told

From memory I think someone mentioned in BBUS they were allowed to nominate 3 events
 
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