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Benjamin HM 2012 - Officially joins Behind Big Brother.

meandyou said:
So you will badger and harass till you get a answer that suits you, maybe look up bulling and see what means.
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By YOUR "logic", you are now bullying me since you are "badgering" me.

Of course, I dont consider that bullying. But by YOUR "logic" it is.

Your logic would also extend to the situation of a rapist asking why his victim is upset. Because the victim being upset and screaming at the rapist why he did it would be "bullying" too - according to you.
 
hazzamusic said:
But at the same time, I'm also a little bit disappointed to see all of the hate expressed towards him. I think there are both times and places for expressing what you truly feel, and when someone takes their time out to join a forum and talk with fans of a show, I think that a certain level of respect is in order. I know some people will say that not speaking your mind would mean being fake, but Ben is still a human being and even if you don't respect his attitudes and behaviours, I think you should at least respect yourself by being careful with what you say about another person when they are effectively right in front of you! I think people should always live by 'if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all' mantra. And I respect the person who specifically mentioned that they didn't participate in Tim's forum simply because they didn't like him and therefore chose to say nothing instead of saying something nasty, (I would mention your username here, but I forgot which page this was on) but whoever you are, I think that kind of attitude is a great one to have!
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Thank you so much, echoed my point exactly :)
 
Trala said:
Lucas that is not what I said. I said "just because you feel offended and outraged by Ben's behaviour doesn't mean you are just", just as the fact I am not offended or outraged by Ben's behaviour doesn't make me right. It is a different take and response of another human being. It is okay not to like people. If I had a dollar for every person in this site who felt serious dislike for me, I could buy the BBB site and permaban Housemates Antics members! Ha! And that's okay, in case you haven't noticed, I can be super unlikable.

I understand watching housemates in the house two years ago has had a profound affect on you. But there are a few things you need to remember. When you lock strangers in a house and view them under a microscope, response and emotions will be extreme, behaviours will be extreme. That means when you behave at your worst, it will be magnified by x100% and when you behave at your best (well that won't be shown because outrage sells Ha!) it too will be magnified by x100%.

You talk about groups isolating people, it is a spiteful human behaviour, and that is something we have seen in here with a couple of posters, when the lone weakest link has been ganged up on and ridiculed. Granted they are super annoying posters, and you understand why people do it, however it doens't make it right. When people find you annoying, they are going to try to keep you away, shut you out, that is human nature. While I agree it is not nice, it is a flawed human response and very difficult to watch as an outsider looking in. For what ever reason the majority of housemates found poor Estelle annoying, I too found her super annoying watching her. But watching a person you deem as annoying treated like shit and isolated is upsetting whether that is in the BB house, in real life or in BBB threads. There were many times I just wanted to whisk her out of that house for her own sanity! Estelle however prevailed. Her attitude and response to difficult situations made her a winner. She didn't allow herself to be victimised and she showed great strength of character.

While I agree some of Ben's moments were not his greatest, flawed people walk among us. Sadly Estelle's wholesome and kind take on life is not the norm. Good people some times behave badly, they say the wrong things, they hurt the people they like and they sometimes behave like cunts. Ben has apologised, he has come here to further explain himself, what do you need from Ben to put this behind you and move forward?

Grudges and internal anger are no good for anyone, especially the person living with them. Opinions aren't fact. Opinions are just the individual persons take on events. Having an opinion doesn't mean you are right, it just means you have your own take on the matter. It is okay for you never to like Ben, but don't let that anger eat you up.

You read like a good egg, like a kind person. Continue being the change you want to see in others. In my experience good people make us reflect on our own flaws and make us aware of were we need to improve.
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Great post :) though some parts seemed a bit condescending but that's ok :p Believe it or not that season really did have a bad effect on me. Even if it's "just" a TV show. But anyway I said my piece now and I think I needed to vent.

I went crazy didn't I?


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meandyou said:
So your going to go out of your way to in some part bully Ben on this forum and make his time here uncomfortable and make the people that would like to hear about bens journey and what he's up to difficult. So Far you are just displaying the same behaviour that your complaining about. STAGGERING.
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:rolleyes: Umm... No. I didn't want to hurt Ben's feelings at all. I realise he is a human being and yes we all make mistakes. I did hesitate saying some of the things I did say because I knew it was a bit harsh on him. But he could dish it out so surely he could take it? I questioned his behaviour and I needed to vent. He did upset a lot of people on the show. And there is a phrase "Bad things happen when good people do nothing".

Another thing to point out is that this place is a Big Brother fan forum and he should be aware that not everyone would have liked his behaviour in the house especially being a "controversial" winner. Even he admits his behaviour was a bit bad.

It was not my intent to "bully" Ben. I was questioning posters on why they supported Ben because I couldn't see in my opinion how the bad behaviour outweighed the good. The 2012 season made me very uncomfortable the way the housemates treated Estelle. And I believe that year of Big Brother was ruined. @Trala has made a brilliant reply with some good points. Those helped me understand the other point of view better.

The posters I should apologise to is @LoveBB and @Tahan. I was really rude to them and at the time peed off because I was told to "get over it".

I am truly sorry @LoveBB and @Tahan. :happy:

And I am sorry to Ben if he did get hurt by my posts. I don't want to hurt your feelings at all. I am sorry :happy:.
 
Sorceress said:
There's plenty of room for discussion but both sides can have their say.
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But not if you actually liked Ben because then you're a horrible human being who supports bullying, puppy killing and genocide.

I just take exception to 'Hater' because in this instance some of the actions were worthy of criticism.
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Yeah well I took exception to being labelled an 'arse licker/kisser' just because in this instance I didn't immediately demand Ben's execution.





To be perfectly honest though this thread has reminded me why I didn't bother in 2012. I should probably just adopt the same attitude now for my own sanities sake.
 
Lucas said:
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@Timdormer is a million miles above Ben. Tim never picked on a particular housemate and helped to form a group to exclude someone just because they were a little weird and liked unicorns.

Tim is actually a nice person who genuinely cared for other housemates feelings. He was an individual, a leader for the misfits everywhere and a stirrer but not in a malicious way Ben was.

No surprise Tim wants nothing to do with him. I don't hence why I am peeved off he has joined BBB. I prefer to never think and hear of him again.

Ben's justification for treating Estelle the way he did is very poor. There is no excuse what so ever for the way he and his goons treated her. So what if Estelle contradicts herself (in his opinion). That is a weak excuse for all the shit he and his pals gave her.

@Trala yes everyone has a gossip and he was filmed 24/7. There is nothing wrong with housemates having a little chat about each other, it's human nature however most people don't make it their mission to bring people down and I quote Ben "I Will destroy Layla". He also purposely and seemed to enjoy excluding Estelle every chance he got. He also lied to people to manipulate issues in the house for his own benefit. For example he took great delight in the Sarah Vs. Ray "aggressive" dancing saga. From then he had an opportunity to turn the house against Ray. I assume Ben and Michael didn't like Ray because he was self confident and was too smart to fall for their manipulating crap.
@Connoisseur can probably help me out with listing more of Ben's behaviour in the house. :)

This is my opinion and you have yours but I know I AM right. Ethically I am right at least. Ben's behaviour was disgusting and that is why I AM outraged he is here. Just look at those videos @TALENTstanner posted. Do you really think that is acceptable behaviour and worthy of winning Big Brother? I don't think so. That season is absolutely horrible and filled with a pack of bullies who have high egos. Made a lot of my friends and family turn off the show forever. I nearly did too but gave BB 2013 a chance but boy was I worried that a BB 2012 cast would happen again. Hope those HM's are proud for turning that season the way it did. Not pleasant viewing at all and rewarding a bully was just great for Australia :rolleyes:.

There is nothing entertaining about Ben what so ever. People seem to think he can get away with this behaviour because he's gay and some gay people are known for being queens and bitchy.

Someone said Ben being here was a favour? Pfft... I don't think so. More like a pest and it's no surprise he is promoting something. I suspect he also has joined BBB to help his ego. He just loves mentioning he is "the most hated winner of BB apparently". It just reeks of desperation to become relevant again. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

And I wouldn't be surprised if he indeed was @BBB12winner. They have a similar username and their posts seem to be written by the same person.



I agree 100% @Lottie. This used to be a happy place.

@TALENTstanner has some really good points. He may be crazy at times but he is making a lot of sense here. I pity the people who don't stand up to a bully.

It's not just a TV show either. Big Brother is a social experiment. Real people go in and their behaviours are exposed. You can say the producers manipulate the footage but Ben did say and do all these things. Even if there was something we weren't shown like Estelle being annoying (being annoying is harmless) there still wouldn't be a justification.

This thread makes me feel like the only sane person here O_O:bang:
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1. Don't feed the troll, it lives on likes and positive reinforcement.

2. It IS a favour that Ben is here, because he can (and says he will) answer questions about the show that we would all like to know. That deserves some respect.

3. If you don't like him, fine, but this isn't the "abuse Ben" thread. What a lot of you don't realise is that what you are doing is also bullying, so there's a certain level of hypocrisy going on. If you don't have anything nice to say, then you are under no obligation to read this thread.

4. There are some people here who actually do want his input. Behind Big Brother welcomes EVERYONE.

5. Five points is more impressive than four :P
 
From what I gather, and from my own opinions people are just rather wanting to tell Ben the effect his actions had on them, be it bad or good and those who felt bad or uncomfortable because of his actions are wanting more of an explanation of "I was drunk", "I saw it in a movie" or "I did a lot of apologising, mainly to myself" and "I did it to impress the alpha males and if the alpha males had acted differently so would've I"... I think it's fair enough to want to know why and while BB is a social experiment, it's a snapshot of people's personalities and how far they'd go to lash out at people and not control how they feel/react.

I do feel that Ben is mostly remorseful and regretful of his behaviours because once on the outside of the house he's realised it did not look good and he was portrayed as a bully. Even 2 years later he's not really done anything to quash that feeling for most. I feel that if he came out and people everywhere were like "awesome bro you sure showed those losers" he wouldn't come out and say "well no, I acted badly". I would say he would've rode that fame and had no second thoughts. Hindsight is amazing.

I do feel he has mainly come on here to do some self promotion as the whole tone was/is so different to when Tim came on to chat - a lot of people didn't like Tim too, but he presented himself as easy going and made no excuses... and when you're someone who is so polarised in the eyes of fans it's a huge risk coming on here and you will get a whole lot of people wanting to voice their opinions bad or good. If he can turn some people into fans then good on him.

I did not like him in the house, that's no secret but if he has truly learnt from his actions in the past who are we to judge?
 
I haven't read through this thread so hopefully haven't missed too much O_O

Welcome Ben

Firstly mate you deserved to win bb 2012, don't let the negativity ever get you down (somehow I don't think you will). Your alright by me and am glad you are here rather than someone like Estelle. To this day I don't get how Estelle lasted on BB as long as she did. I personally didn't find her beautifull on the inside or out, but that's just my opinion on what I saw. Be bloody hard being her friend with her persona and personality.

Hopefully we can all respect Bens time on here, his inside knowledge and everything BB is invaluable. We all have our moments, none of us are perfect.

:smug:
 
Lightning McQueen. Lying much? How am I fishing for likes when I'm arguably one of the most hated people on here? I never post for likes and in fact I was genuinely surprised I had racked up over 60 likes in this thread thus far. Don't make me out to be something I'm clearly not.
 
Tahan said:
This is what I don't get.

The ones that are the so called "haters" are clearly being quite defensive. Case in point, no one is telling you not voice your opinion.

Disagreeing with someone, or telling them to move on, is not stating that you don't have the right to an opinion.

:confused:
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But telling the so-called haters to "STFU" IS telling them not to voice their opinion. OK?
 
Consuela said:
Tbh though they both came for some self promotion otherwise they would have remained anonymous.
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You're probably right in a sense. The tone and the way each of them went about it was just worlds apart for me.

Tim came and said he wanted to chat with like minded fans, and to answer some questions where as Ben dropped Scoopla into his posts a few times.

I think the approach Tim had was more personable and probably got people on side quicker due to fans, being fans really got a kick out of a HM coming on and taking time to chat with us and sit down and answer questions. The approach Ben took by promoting his show then saying he will answer questions probably got a lot of people arked up. Perhaps they both have very similar motives but the way they were presented were just very different.
 
Lucas said:
2012 just brings back very very bad memories for me. And I believe Tim was not as bad as the majority of the 2012 cast. Not at all. Did Tim ever throw water in another housemates face? No!...
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I agree with the rest of your post (which I have deleted for space), but I disagree with your overall assessment of Tim. While I do think Tim was not as much of a bully as Tim, he was still a strong narcissist with a huge sense of entitlement and a bit of a malicious streak. He constantly stole food and encouraged his small coterie of friends to do so. His treatment of Tully in the early stages of the game when they had the halfway house was particularly deplorable, as was his hiding of Tahan's hairdrier (if I am remembering that correctly).
 
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