All hail the glorious library!


Hello forum peoples,

I come before you tonight to talk about an important subject, something that I truly believe does not get enough appreciation. No, I'm not talking about Tina Arena's Strong As Steel album. I mean the library. A place full of wonder and dreams. A place where you can travel throughout time. A place that will fill your heart with the most purest of joys.

I adore the library. It is such a great place to be in my humble opinion. Who needs friends when you have the library? Not me. The library is everything i need in a friend. For one thing it has these really fast computer internet things. Which means that I can go online without it having freeze every five fucking seconds. I know, I know first world problem. I'm sorry I will try not to let it happen again. Anyway the internet in the library is really fantastic. It truly is. The other brilliant part about the library is the wide range of movie and tv shows you can borrow. Everything you can think of the library has it (unless you are thinking of the tv series columbo. they don't have it. believe me i checked. i checked everywhere. searching here and there. look i'm not going to apologise for not being able to find it. maybe it is in your local library. or you could flash your cash money around like you are lord of the manor and say to the cashier: "I'd like your finest colombo pleasssse.") so go down to the library if you want to. Or maybe not up to you. Totally your choice. We like in a free society.By that i mean our actions are of our own free will (i'm obviously talking in generalities here) unless you are not of that belief. But that is a philosphical discussion tthat I am too dumb and tired to think about right now. The important thing is though that they have these really great range of dvds which is great for someone like me where slow internet means that any streamy is choppy at best, and all the dvd stores are slowly closing down. The closest one to me is a Blockbusters and there range of titles i limited at best. Soon enough they will probably close too. For now though i am more than happy to be getting movies and television shows from the library. I'm not one of those people who just has to watch the latest breaking bads or wires. No sir madams i just like watching those old tv shows and what have you. So that is two things i like about the library.

The third and most important of all are the books. I love looking at all the different books in the library. Sometimes i get a little bit lazy with not reading at times because i get so into watching like visual stuff with all the picture movings and hearing talkies. But i should be better, i must be better. I need to be better. What am i? A statue of a shoe or a reepbot who reads? I think we all know the answer to that question honoured guesters. However I do enjoy going around the library shelves seeing all the different books. Fiction or non fiction. Horror, mystery, western, fantasy, romance, drama, thriller, and so many other genres or sub genres. Politics, biography, music, television, movies, literature, history, true crime, and other such wonder non fiction subjects. Touching them, smelling them with my nostrils. Holding them right up to my nose and sniffing them like a dog sniffing a pile of bird shit. That knowledge, that passion, that love right in my hands. Waiting for someone, anyone to take it home and give it some tender loving care. That's all it wants. It doesn't ask for anything awful or something you can't do. Writing to me is the most purest expression. To me it is the way that i can express my feelings. It is a way that i can try and organise my thoughts.

So please if you have tales about the library you would like to share please so do so it shall be most appreciated by me. I shalll applaud you for doing that. And i shall applaud you if you say you hate the library. If you find it stupid and boring. If you find it a total fucking waste of fucking space and it makes you sick to even think about it. Then i shall still applaud you for having the courage of your convictions. I shall say to myself bravo brave people, bravo for your bravery. And you may say that is not brave, that fighting polars bears on mt everest single handed after your good arm got eaten by a hungry yeti on a diet is brave. But i say to you that bravery comes in all shapes and sizes.


I present a play about a library. I do so hope you do enjoy it in your hearts of hearts madames and sirs. Forgiveness in advance for the poor formats.

(A young or old person doesn't matter don't be ageist is about to go to the library)

Innocent person: Just about to go to the library. Golly gosh do I love learning!

Edward Hitler Jr the 2nd: Hey nerd, what are you doing? Nerd stuff?

Innocent person: No, I am just going to the library.

Edward hitler Jr the 2nd: The library? That is like geek kingdom for all you fucking dweebs.

Innocent: Oh it is soo not. Now would you please excuse me.

Hitler Jr the 2nd: Whatever dork. I'm going to download a car anyway.

(Innocent person goes off and does some lovely library looking. Some time later he comes back to find Hitler Jr being taken away in handcuffs.)

Innocent: Oh no Hitler Jr the 2nd what ever did happen to you?

Hitler Jr: I got caught by the police because I didn't read the sign saying that downloading cars is banned. That's what I get for not reading. Now my good family name will be ruined forever.

Innocent: Don't worry. I'll help.

To be continued......


(A couple of days later, Innocent person who we shall now Peter goes to visit Hitler Jr in jail.)

Peter: Hello Hitler Jr do you remember how i said you was going to help you?

Hitler Jr: Err no you nerd. I was being arrested.

Peter: Well anyways over the weekend i became a lawyer.

Hitler Jr: how the fuck did you do that you little shitheel?

Peter: I went to the library.

Hitler Jr: Wow I never knew the library was that good. So are you going to help me with my case?

Peter: Of course I will.

Hitler Jr: Good i guess I will see you soon.

Peter: Bye.

To be continued....


(three months later Hitler Jr has been freed thanks to Peter's brilliant lawyering skills.)

Hitler Jr: Huh, I guess nerd stuff is good for something after all.

Peter: Yes. But it is good for other stuff as well.

Hitler Jr: Who gives a fuck about that? Now piss off I'm going to have some fun.

Peter: There's something different about you Hitler.

Hitler Jr: Prison changes a man.

Peter: I guess it does.

(Hitler Jr goes off to do fun stuff. Peter continues to lawyer like a chimney in 19th century London)

To be continued....


i joined the tweed library the other day

oh booo why did you do that reepbot

because i did

oh ok

do you like cheese?

i love cheese. not out of date cheese though.


i do not think a library would have cheese though. they might for the rats for like if they invited the rats to like a library party and gave them little rat books. that would be funny.


I did not got to the library today, but i might go tomorrow. that should be fun i think. libraries are usually good fun.


Little known member
i do not think a library would have cheese though. they might for the rats for like if they invited the rats to like a library party and gave them little rat books. that would be funny.
Bookworm in German is Leseratte. Which translates literally to reading rat. So maybe not in Tweed, but maybe over here they do have libraries. Cheese reading library parties.


Bookworm in German is Leseratte. Which translates literally to reading rat. So maybe not in Tweed, but maybe over here they do have libraries. Cheese reading library parties.
sounds like a plan mooseface i shall start building a library right away using the power of magic.

schniff snoof


Imagine spending a night in a library with a ghost. but you don't know if the ghost is evil or friendly but in the end you discover that the ghost is actually friendly and just wants to make cupcakes for everyone.