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The Bachelorette
- Thread starter delcan
- Start date
HE wanted to cut in - but knew it broke the bro code - so he wanted others to do it so they'd be the ones breaking it ...
he wasn't thinking about anyone else but himself
whilst I hate the constant referral to the bro code ... its just common decency to allow Sam time with whoever she chooses for however long she needs with them ... he needed to realise he was NOT the one in control here - Sam is. She decides.
Bye Bye Devoid
Mhmm, alright then. You can think that but what you have written is an obvious difference.
Yes. Have I mixed up the David's, or way off with my lookalikes lolAre you talking about this dude?
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
I reckon you mean Kieran, blond hipster cut.
Actually I do see it.
Mhmm, alright then. You can think that but what you have written is an obvious difference.
that is saying she can spend time with who she chooses to spend time with - not necessarily that SHE does the initial choosing ... I realise I could have added more words to flesh it out but then you'd only accuse me of ranting ... oh wait = you already did that! mah bad!
The guys had spoken about not cutting in on others ... DevoidOfAllManners ignored that from the very start ... even last night he was doing it - he wasn't doing it for the greater good - he was doing it for himself - the ONLY person that matters to him.
you can put him up on a pedestal all you like - but the fact remains he's gone and I think you'll find most people are glad to see the back of him ... and most especially Sam is - and that is all that matters in the end
Look I don't watch the show, but every so often I flicked the channel and I get a glimpse, and I swear I remember rick a little bigger and with more facial hair than that pic shows. I'm not making this up. This must be the recent post weight loss rickAnd he's meant to look like this dude?! I'm not seeing it at all.
jessy_girl
Well-Known Member
And he's meant to look like this dude?! I'm not seeing it at all.
My fave. I was so happy when Jacob Young reprised the role 10ish years later.
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
BUT she could mean the previous rick actors!And he's meant to look like this dude?! I'm not seeing it at all.
According to wiki this was a previous Rick. Still think you might want to pop into Specsavers.
jessy_girl
Well-Known Member
Previous Rick's include Justin Torkildsen and Kyle Lowder, are there any others? They were all imposters though!
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
I think she means Kyle Lowder.
Alright! Alright! I may be a little off. Goodness knows what my mind was interpreting...According to wiki this was a previous Rick. Still think you might want to pop into Specsavers.
Well how about this guy...
You see a slight resemblance, yeah?
sorceress86
Well-Known Member
Lies!! That pretty boy looks nothing like Eric (Ridge) at all!
Justin was the best!
Rosies Recap Ep 2 - Part 1
Rosie Recaps The Bachelorette Episode 2: A knobcloud reveals himself, and Bachie Queen goes OFF.
And of course we need to remember that our Bachie Queen is very relatable and lovely and got dumped and humiliated on national television so we open with some Serious Beach Thinking about heartbreak etc:
Much ponder.
So Beach Think.
Very jeans.
Cut to the Peen Palace, where all the Peen Owners are just casually hanging around being casual – and isn’t it lovely and way less bitchy than the girls because these are nice Aussie blokes and not bitchy ladies:
Good Aussie Blokes/Mateship etc etc etc
Oshie arrives with the single date card and – WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP. A piece of Oshie’s hair has GONE ROGUE.
PLS SEND HELP.
WHAT IS GOING ON? THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A STRAY PIECE OF GLORIOUS MANE. Something has gone wrong with the hairspray machine. Was he unchained from it prematurrely today? Did the Queen of Channel Ten Sandra Sully forget to refill the tank? HELP ME I’M FRIGHTENED.
Oshie’s Hair leaves, and will no doubt be punished when Sandy gets wind of this.
One of the Daves gets the single date. It’s Dave the plumber. His name is Dave and he’s a plumber. Queen Bachie calls him a ‘good Aussie bloke’ and he talks like he’s stepped straight out of a meat pie and beer commercial and he is literally the whitest of all the Daves and it kind of makes you wonder how there can be THREE guys called Dave on this show and not one token Asian.
SINGLE DATE TIME!
OH EM EF GEE THERE IS A FREAKING HELICOPTER:
Budget crisis over?
FEMINIST OVERLORD OF CHANNEL TEN QUEEN SANDRA SULLY HAS FINALLY RELEASED THE FUNDS. I knew ol’ Sandy wouldn’t be able to resist helping a sister slay some peen.
OMG YES – they literally just take the helicopter to the Sydney Cricket Ground, which would have taken them half an hour to drive to, tops. It’s officially raining $$$ once again y’all.
Ugh boring. They’re going to play some sport with a sporting person. I have zero interest in either. Bachie Queen takes the opportunity to survey her plaything:
You’ll do.
Approves. For now.
They do some sport things which I don’t understand or care about…
Sport… stuff.
…Then they head to the season’s first Magic Sex Couch, and Dave the plumber is literally just Dave the Plumber and it’s so dull and there’s nothing else to say really. They talk about feelings. She gives him a rose. No kiss. Boring. The end:
Dave the Plumber is a plumber.
GROUP DATE TIME!
The Peen Owners are driven to some random bush location in cars that are not Nissans which, quite frankly, I do not appreciate. Oshie greets them and thank the TV gods, his hair situation has vastly improved:
STOP PANICKING.
Then – and I can’t even tell you how happy this makes me given the budget woes of Bachie Wood – Bachie Queen turns up in a speedboat for no reason whatsoever except they had the fucking money to put her in a speedboat. #SullyReleasedTheFunds
BECAUSE WE CAN BITCHES.
Yaaaas the date is a humiliating challenge! All the Peen Owners must jump off a cliff into a suss looking river, while Bachie Queen stands right next to them so they’ll be sufficiently humiliated if they don’t go through with it. It’s tied loosely with something about ‘taking a leap of faith’, but really it’s just to see which guys are willing to hand their balls to our Queen so she can add them to her impressive and growing collection.
Sasha, the only giver of clit tingles to Bachie Queen so far, goes first. He looks petrified, but he can hardly not go through with it while she’s standing right over his shoulder:
JUMP, MONKEY.
He hands her his balls and jumps.
David the International Model is the next to freak out. He’s confused by being outside generally. He doesn’t understand all this nature and didn’t know that wetsuits existed.
Why isn’t there carpet on this ground? I feel conflictuous. Who am I?
He romances Bachie Queen by telling her that he’ll make the jump by imagining her drowning. He thinks they’ve shared an intense and beautiful moment. She looks like she can’t believe he is a real human that actually exists. He hands her his balls and jumps.
Rosie Recaps The Bachelorette Episode 2: A knobcloud reveals himself, and Bachie Queen goes OFF.
And of course we need to remember that our Bachie Queen is very relatable and lovely and got dumped and humiliated on national television so we open with some Serious Beach Thinking about heartbreak etc:
Much ponder.
So Beach Think.
Very jeans.
Cut to the Peen Palace, where all the Peen Owners are just casually hanging around being casual – and isn’t it lovely and way less bitchy than the girls because these are nice Aussie blokes and not bitchy ladies:
Good Aussie Blokes/Mateship etc etc etc
Oshie arrives with the single date card and – WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP. A piece of Oshie’s hair has GONE ROGUE.
PLS SEND HELP.
WHAT IS GOING ON? THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A STRAY PIECE OF GLORIOUS MANE. Something has gone wrong with the hairspray machine. Was he unchained from it prematurrely today? Did the Queen of Channel Ten Sandra Sully forget to refill the tank? HELP ME I’M FRIGHTENED.
Oshie’s Hair leaves, and will no doubt be punished when Sandy gets wind of this.
One of the Daves gets the single date. It’s Dave the plumber. His name is Dave and he’s a plumber. Queen Bachie calls him a ‘good Aussie bloke’ and he talks like he’s stepped straight out of a meat pie and beer commercial and he is literally the whitest of all the Daves and it kind of makes you wonder how there can be THREE guys called Dave on this show and not one token Asian.
SINGLE DATE TIME!
OH EM EF GEE THERE IS A FREAKING HELICOPTER:
Budget crisis over?
FEMINIST OVERLORD OF CHANNEL TEN QUEEN SANDRA SULLY HAS FINALLY RELEASED THE FUNDS. I knew ol’ Sandy wouldn’t be able to resist helping a sister slay some peen.
OMG YES – they literally just take the helicopter to the Sydney Cricket Ground, which would have taken them half an hour to drive to, tops. It’s officially raining $$$ once again y’all.
Ugh boring. They’re going to play some sport with a sporting person. I have zero interest in either. Bachie Queen takes the opportunity to survey her plaything:
You’ll do.
Approves. For now.
They do some sport things which I don’t understand or care about…
Sport… stuff.
…Then they head to the season’s first Magic Sex Couch, and Dave the plumber is literally just Dave the Plumber and it’s so dull and there’s nothing else to say really. They talk about feelings. She gives him a rose. No kiss. Boring. The end:
Dave the Plumber is a plumber.
GROUP DATE TIME!
The Peen Owners are driven to some random bush location in cars that are not Nissans which, quite frankly, I do not appreciate. Oshie greets them and thank the TV gods, his hair situation has vastly improved:
STOP PANICKING.
Then – and I can’t even tell you how happy this makes me given the budget woes of Bachie Wood – Bachie Queen turns up in a speedboat for no reason whatsoever except they had the fucking money to put her in a speedboat. #SullyReleasedTheFunds
BECAUSE WE CAN BITCHES.
Yaaaas the date is a humiliating challenge! All the Peen Owners must jump off a cliff into a suss looking river, while Bachie Queen stands right next to them so they’ll be sufficiently humiliated if they don’t go through with it. It’s tied loosely with something about ‘taking a leap of faith’, but really it’s just to see which guys are willing to hand their balls to our Queen so she can add them to her impressive and growing collection.
Sasha, the only giver of clit tingles to Bachie Queen so far, goes first. He looks petrified, but he can hardly not go through with it while she’s standing right over his shoulder:
JUMP, MONKEY.
He hands her his balls and jumps.
David the International Model is the next to freak out. He’s confused by being outside generally. He doesn’t understand all this nature and didn’t know that wetsuits existed.
Why isn’t there carpet on this ground? I feel conflictuous. Who am I?
He romances Bachie Queen by telling her that he’ll make the jump by imagining her drowning. He thinks they’ve shared an intense and beautiful moment. She looks like she can’t believe he is a real human that actually exists. He hands her his balls and jumps.
Rosies Recaps Ep 2 - part 2
The final freak-out belongs to The Owl Guy. He is the only who refuses to make the leap. His balls remain his own, which intrigues our Bachie Queen enough to ask him for some one-on-one time, but not before I add the first two guys of this season onto the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ pile:
Dunno who this is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dunno who this is either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She takes him to a rug on some grass, which means the budget was definitely blown on that extravagantly pointless helicopter and speedboat.
Budget limit reached for today.
They talk about love and feelings he seems a little too obsessed with her and I think maybe we’ve found the contestant who’s going to collect her pubes from the shower drain and hide them under his pillow.
COCKTAIL PARTY TIME!
YAS IT’S FILLED WITH BITCHY BRO-CODE DEFYING DRAMAAAAAH.
The Professional Soccer Player is talking to Bachie Queen. Mostly just dropping the words ‘Professional Soccer Player’ into the conversation as much as possible. Their alone time sends David the International Model into a glorious jealous meltdown. He thought they had a special moment when he told her that he was imagining her drowning, and now he’s pissed off that she’s hanging out with ‘hot, successful, Professional Soccer Player’.
David the International Model is having some MAJOR peen envy. He goes in for the kill. HE BREAKS THE SACRED BRO-CODE. Tells The Professional Soccer Player that it’s unfair that he’s taking up all of Bachie Queen’s time being a hot, Professional Soccer Player. Basically whips out a ruler and demands a peen measuring contest, which he is clearly going to lose.
He tells Bachie Queen that he thinks she’s shallow and only into the Professional Soccer Player because he’s a Professional Soccer Player. She, quite rightly, loses her shit. Bachie Queen has no time for his peen envy bullshit. SHE THROWS DOWN. She goes off at David the International Model in the most epic, glorious way and she is brilliant and perfect and I can’t be bothered typing every perfect thing she said but she basically just told him to EAT A BAG OF DICKS:
Model confuse. Why you like his peen more than my peen?
EAT.
A BAG.
OF DICKS.
She throws him a bone and asks him what he thinks she’s looking for in a man. He says a ‘baby daddy who dresses well’. And that’s it. Bachie Queen has had it. She gives him a look so withering that it sends his peen back inside itself. David the International Model is done.
ROSE CEREMONY TIME!
OH MY GLOB IT’S FUCKING HEAVEN. Of course David the International Model is booted. For the first time ever, Oshie’s Hair doesn’t tell him to ‘take a moment to say your goodbyes’ because nobody wants to say goodbye to him. Oshie basically just tells him to GTFO immediately, then throws the most epic look of shade over his shoulder that I’ve ever seen:
OSHIE SHADE FACE: MAXIMUM LEVEL SHADE
David the International Model approaches Bachie Queen and tells her that he’s glad he didn’t get a rose. Her eyes are screaming “YOU’D BE LUCKY TO BE OFFERED MY DIRTY TOILET PAPER YOU DISGUSTING TROLL,” but like the classy epic hero that she is, Bachie Queen just points to the door and says, “It’s been a pleasure.”
I’m not sure you realise I’m an International Model.
“IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE.”
The Bachie Queen has spoken. MIC. DROP.
Oh holy Oprah. That was incredible. I need a week to recover from that brilliant yet fleeting bit of casting. Well fucking done on David the International Model, Channel Ten. Never has someone been so beautiful yet so ugly. What a great fucking find. I will miss him mispronouncing words, but he did not belong at Peen Palace.
The final freak-out belongs to The Owl Guy. He is the only who refuses to make the leap. His balls remain his own, which intrigues our Bachie Queen enough to ask him for some one-on-one time, but not before I add the first two guys of this season onto the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ pile:
Dunno who this is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dunno who this is either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She takes him to a rug on some grass, which means the budget was definitely blown on that extravagantly pointless helicopter and speedboat.
Budget limit reached for today.
They talk about love and feelings he seems a little too obsessed with her and I think maybe we’ve found the contestant who’s going to collect her pubes from the shower drain and hide them under his pillow.
COCKTAIL PARTY TIME!
YAS IT’S FILLED WITH BITCHY BRO-CODE DEFYING DRAMAAAAAH.
The Professional Soccer Player is talking to Bachie Queen. Mostly just dropping the words ‘Professional Soccer Player’ into the conversation as much as possible. Their alone time sends David the International Model into a glorious jealous meltdown. He thought they had a special moment when he told her that he was imagining her drowning, and now he’s pissed off that she’s hanging out with ‘hot, successful, Professional Soccer Player’.
David the International Model is having some MAJOR peen envy. He goes in for the kill. HE BREAKS THE SACRED BRO-CODE. Tells The Professional Soccer Player that it’s unfair that he’s taking up all of Bachie Queen’s time being a hot, Professional Soccer Player. Basically whips out a ruler and demands a peen measuring contest, which he is clearly going to lose.
He tells Bachie Queen that he thinks she’s shallow and only into the Professional Soccer Player because he’s a Professional Soccer Player. She, quite rightly, loses her shit. Bachie Queen has no time for his peen envy bullshit. SHE THROWS DOWN. She goes off at David the International Model in the most epic, glorious way and she is brilliant and perfect and I can’t be bothered typing every perfect thing she said but she basically just told him to EAT A BAG OF DICKS:
Model confuse. Why you like his peen more than my peen?
EAT.
A BAG.
OF DICKS.
She throws him a bone and asks him what he thinks she’s looking for in a man. He says a ‘baby daddy who dresses well’. And that’s it. Bachie Queen has had it. She gives him a look so withering that it sends his peen back inside itself. David the International Model is done.
ROSE CEREMONY TIME!
OH MY GLOB IT’S FUCKING HEAVEN. Of course David the International Model is booted. For the first time ever, Oshie’s Hair doesn’t tell him to ‘take a moment to say your goodbyes’ because nobody wants to say goodbye to him. Oshie basically just tells him to GTFO immediately, then throws the most epic look of shade over his shoulder that I’ve ever seen:
OSHIE SHADE FACE: MAXIMUM LEVEL SHADE
David the International Model approaches Bachie Queen and tells her that he’s glad he didn’t get a rose. Her eyes are screaming “YOU’D BE LUCKY TO BE OFFERED MY DIRTY TOILET PAPER YOU DISGUSTING TROLL,” but like the classy epic hero that she is, Bachie Queen just points to the door and says, “It’s been a pleasure.”
I’m not sure you realise I’m an International Model.
“IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE.”
The Bachie Queen has spoken. MIC. DROP.
Oh holy Oprah. That was incredible. I need a week to recover from that brilliant yet fleeting bit of casting. Well fucking done on David the International Model, Channel Ten. Never has someone been so beautiful yet so ugly. What a great fucking find. I will miss him mispronouncing words, but he did not belong at Peen Palace.
jessy_girl
Well-Known Member
I used to think so, mostly as he was in my favourite story arcs with Amber and Deacon. But as soon as Jacob came back everything felt right again. I like his storylines with Amber and Usher. Lol remember when Usher was on b&b?
