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Tonight's Edit: Benjamin the House Bitch.

torifrog said:
The two are NOT mutually exclusive. Every now and then my hubby does something that drives me insane with frustration - and I discuss it with him and we resolve it as adults. But sometimes he's at work when I've discovered what it is, or I'm away, or whatever - and in those circumstances I WILL unload on friends before talking with him - for a few reasons 1. it gives me an outlet so that when I talk with him I am calm; 2. it provides me with perspective in case I'm over-reacting; and 3. it helps me figure out exactly what and why whatever it is has upset me.
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I agree with you. Yes, I do offload to friends etc, but I don't say things about people that I wouldn't say to them. I stab people in the front, so to speak.
 
torifrog said:
The two are NOT mutually exclusive. Every now and then my hubby does something that drives me insane with frustration - and I discuss it with him and we resolve it as adults. But sometimes he's at work when I've discovered what it is, or I'm away, or whatever - and in those circumstances I WILL unload on friends before talking with him - for a few reasons 1. it gives me an outlet so that when I talk with him I am calm; 2. it provides me with perspective in case I'm over-reacting; and 3. it helps me figure out exactly what and why whatever it is has upset me.
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Cade said:
No - I just respect those that I love, it's pretty easy to do.
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It's not really comparable to a partner, it's more like your friendship group.

Would you constantly bitch about your friends to other friends Tori?
I know that I try not to, every now and then I'll get frustrated and yes, I vent but I feel guilty about it.
It's not really a good thing to bitch to the magnitude Ben and these other housemates appear to.
 
I think I just tend to ask myself "would I like people talking about me? spreading stories that may not even be true" and the answer is no way in hell would i like that. I'd find that majorly upsetting and hurtful. I work in a gossipy work place and a lot of the stuff I hear doesn't even seem to be true! (Btw I hear it because it's said out loud - not because I'm in a corner whispering with someone) and then I think "well if they're talking about that person and that person and that person then they probably talk about me too" and that's enough to make me just keep to myself. It annoys me as gossipy groups think they're so 'in' and 'cool' and those who are respectful and DON'T gossip end up as loners or ostracised.

So to you gossipy types, yes you fit in and are popular but that doesn't mean I respect you, I respect those who choose NOT to gossip even though it makes them lepers socially sometimes.
 
Sorceress said:
It's not really comparable to a partner, it's more like your friendship group.

Would you constantly bitch about your friends to other friends Tori?
I know that I try not to, every now and then I'll get frustrated and yes, I vent but I feel guilty about it.
It's not really a good thing to bitch to the magnitude Ben and these other housemates appear to.
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Most of my friends don't know each other, so no. If a friend drives me nutso, I bitch to hubby about them!
 
Hmm, it's not been the best week for Benji. I generally like him and he comes across as caring and genuine but his need to be a shoulder for everyone to cry on is starting to wear thin. On the OS I imagine this attribute in a friend - always counselling, being the authoritative advice-giver, continually switching from praise to criticism - would drive me nuts. I think he should occasionally take a step back and do more listening, rather than talking all the time.
 
I sort of live by only telling people what I want them to know, and what I don't care being repeated.

Official secrets and all of that . :)
 
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