Darren's pranks-you can download them and send him names of people you want pranked
http://www.highveld.co.za/fun/pranks
http://www.highveld.co.za/fun/pranks
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A 1st Grade Teachers Problem
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs.."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'CK' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs.."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'CK' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well,"said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful!" Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language; things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home, PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby girl, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama, he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook."
"I'll pick you up in 20 minutes," said the mother.
"Well,"said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful!" Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language; things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home, PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby girl, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama, he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook."
"I'll pick you up in 20 minutes," said the mother.
putting a telemarketer on hold
[video=youtube;6LgGSHk0Bjk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LgGSHk0Bjk[/video]
[video=youtube;6LgGSHk0Bjk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LgGSHk0Bjk[/video]
LOL I so want one of those message downloads,the stupid telemarketers are driving me crazy..they even phone now and leave you a recorded message
melaniee-jane
Well-Known Member
this had me laughing for ages yesterday aahaha
reverse cotton candy eating
reverse cotton candy eating
...a few pics that made me laugh a little... cheers.
Topaz
Active Member
Sooooo cute!!! Hahahaha!
Chump
Well-Known Member
Love Life of Brian..... Even coming from you.... And even as a supporter of every individuals rights to do whatever the f they want with breast enhancements or sexual identity or .......
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Chump
Well-Known Member
Very random and strangely appealing
