Skip to main content

Lets talk about Lisa

Tesa Davies said:
"He's not my type, he's too nice" when asked by Katie if she rated him.

Do all girls love assholes? and then they complain when they get treated like shit.
Click to expand...

Winterbourne said:
I think a lot of girls like confidence, and are willing to put up with arseholery if it comes from someone who looks confident.
Click to expand...

warning long going off topic rant here by my comments on this whole thing.

Sadly there is this phenom where the 'bad boy' sort of thing appears to be attractive. People want someone to take charge. Give them some orders. This is where selfish arseholes often come in. Or people buying into the bullshit someone sells of being cool and awesome, which can come from confidence.

In that pick up artist shit, there is stuff about you're more attractive if the girl feels she needs to win your approval. Confident, looking like you don't need them, everyone likes you blah blah apparent makes people more attractive.


People mistake the fact that because they are nice to someone, they will be nice to them. They are attracted and like the person happy and so then just do what ever that person wants. Where the happiness is based on the other person's happiness. The problem with that is, that other persons happiness isn't dependent on the happiness of the other so will often cheat and do all sorts of shit stuff. They are just about their happiness.

I would say in the house where people like Travis, he is seemingly a nice guy but about himself. Now some judging, but from hints of him always telling stories about there being chicks, his package about always bringing girls home and his mum doing everything for him and praising him. He's probably a guy that's view of woman is pleasing him. They're then happy because he is happy. He is happy because he gets what he wants.

People say people get over it, but they often don't. I look at mates of mine who were not great. I know people who were in toxic relationships for years. Bringing people back to their flat they shared with their girlfriend. While the girlfriend was there, she was crying in one room while he was banging the other in another. They're of course now happily married...

I know a guy who was a classic arrogant wanker, he never got laid in highschool, so in uni he turned into a major arsehole to girls. Good looking guy, smart, good job and all that. He'd literally be out in a club with his then adorable and lovely girlfriend, with out her knowing pick up a girl, leave, bang that girl and then come back. Now he's all Mr successful jet setting perfect guy. Where I am sure his wife thinks she got a good one. But he cheated on her a few months before the wedding. People don't change, if it's about them it always will be.


This will sound a lame thing to say, but I suffer from the nice guy thing. I'm easy going, I'm not a push over or anything at all. I am strong willed, but I'm just nice and easy going and like doing things to make the other person happy as much as my inherant selfishness allows lol. I can't remember who said it to me, but someone a few years back said there was no 'edge' to me or something. So maybe I am just a bit bitter, but I have always found it interesting. I always notice girls being treated badly by guys in ways I never would, and also strangely enough in ways where if I ever did that my exes would basically tell me to fuck off.

Which gets to the end, a lot of people end up with the wrong sort of people. I definitely think I end up with the wrong ladies for me. Which happens to a lot. It actually is quite hard to end up with the right people for you. I have dated some amazing girls who could have been, but things don't work out. Now it's like, I'm 30, where are all these girls that are meant to want nice guys now.. and they're still with arseholes.

It also is shocking, a long time good friend of mine had a 30th a month or so back and her boyfriend was there. This girl is so lovely, non judgmental, kind and sweet. Really top girl and quite pretty. Her boyfriend was some big overweight arsehole. I had met him before but I was just bemused by how that realtionship works.

Anyway I could continue going on but I wont.
 
I think most women want something that actually draws an emotional response, it's not that they like arseholes but if someone's rude...it demands a certain response.
Nice guys do nothing that causes an emotional response therefore no attraction.
 
up_all_night said:
Oh don't worry those are people who went from good friends in High School to now people I don't see,
Click to expand...
Glad to hear, because you generally come across as a good person and tbh, I couldn't see how you could be friends with these people without saying something. You are quite outspoken on these boards (which I have enjoyed) so I just could not picture you remaining silent.

There are nice girls out there that do go for nice guys, believe it or not.
 
Sweetgeek said:
I married a nice guy. He most certainly caused an emotional response by genuinely wanting to me to be happy and that is attractive. Maybe I'm not most girls, or maybe most girls are like me in my world.
Click to expand...
But in wanting to make you happy he's assertive by making that decision;)
 
I really don't like stereotyping 'most girls' or 'most guys'. Sure, there's some girls that like assholes. Just as there's some dudes that like bimbos. It's hardly a huge percentage though, no way is it most. If people think that just being nice will automatically enamour yourself to all girls you're sorely mistaken. What people like and want in a partner is so varied that there's no point bringing anecdotal evidence up to prove a bunch of girls are into assholes.

Also being a dominant or confident personality does not automatically make you an asshole. For instance, a stranger that walked past me and slapped me on the ass with a "hey baby" is unattractive to me and yes, an asshole. But if a boyfriend were to do it I would find that a turn on. That doesn't make me into 'bad boys' or assholes, it means I like a dominant personality in a relationship.

Anyway this went on a little long.. I'm not even specifically talking about your situation up_all_night, just had to say what I thought :P
 
Tuxie said:
I really don't like stereotyping 'most girls' or 'most guys'. Sure, there's some girls that like assholes. Just as there's some dudes that like bimbos. It's hardly a huge percentage though, no way is it most. If people think that just being nice will automatically enamour yourself to all girls you're sorely mistaken. What people like and want in a partner is so varied that there's no point bringing anecdotal evidence up to prove a bunch of girls are into assholes.

Also being a dominant or confident personality does not automatically make you an asshole. For instance, a stranger that walked past me and slapped me on the ass with a "hey baby" is unattractive to me and yes, an asshole. But if a boyfriend were to do it I would find that a turn on. That doesn't make me into 'bad boys' or assholes, it means I like a dominant personality in a relationship.

Anyway this went on a little long.. I'm not even specifically talking about your situation up_all_night, just had to say what I thought :p
Click to expand...
yes to this all, because a like simply wont do.
 
Sweetgeek said:
Glad to hear, because you generally come across as a good person and tbh, I couldn't see how you could be friends with these people without saying something. You are quite outspoken on these boards (which I have enjoyed) so I just could not picture you remaining silent.

There are nice girls out there that do go for nice guys, believe it or not.
Click to expand...

You know what it is, when a lot of this started happening I was really finding out about it second hand from one of my best friends who still hung around them a lot. Or i'd occassionally be at something, usually through that good friend and here and see the odd thing. Really I had drifted to people more into what I liked and better suited to me. I changed high schools mid way through so never fit completely into already formed friendship groups, so I just kind of kept some good friends but drifted to more suited to me people. None of this was good mates, but yeah just things people were up to, the odd observation. I wouldn't put up with it as a good mate.

I did however directly tell one of my mates to dump his fiance. However that was kind of the reverse, she was the horrible cheating one. It's an insane situation. I'll explain it and you'll go, WTF? So yeah no way I couldn't bring it up.

They'd been dating since the end of high school. This is several years later. Out with some friends from the group and random peoples friends. She was drunk and hooked up with a mates friend.

Big whole thing, they went on a relationship break.

During this three month break,

She slept with a guy we went to school with, friendly terms but not in the group.

In the group she slept one of the guys. Now this is a close friendship group. These guys were close family friends, known each other since kids. Lets call this guy B.

The original couple get back together he knows about this, he's apparently fine with it because they were on a break....

About a year later it comes out that in this break she also slept with another close guy in the friendship group. Lets call him C. However it didn't end there. It continued on until this whole thing game out. Often it'd be just the four of these people hanging out. Close group.

Oh and C was at the time dating the sister of B.

Yeah and they are still together and some what friends. What was fucked up, the guy that was cheating long term with the girl. He was still around a lot because where as most groups would push that person away, they were so fucked up and interdependent he was still there hanging out, playing sport and everything.

I was not around when this happened, just more casual friends. I was well off with my new friends constantly drunk in night clubs and seeing bands which was way more fun than hanging out with a mean self dependent group who actually hated each other. They inturn hated me to some extent because I went off and had my 'cool new friends.' But yeah I fucking told my mate he can not stay with that girl and he has to get away. Whole big drama. He was then, 'you're just saying that because you want to fuck her.' So yeah... I can't believe they're still together. Haven't seen them for a few years at this stage. This whole thing was kind of my final nail in the coffin of having anything to do with these people. Most are off else where doing their things. Sadly all quite good looking and fucking successful, so you see on facebook and they're having amazing lives living and working overseas.
 
up_all_night said:
You know what it is, when a lot of this started happening I was really finding out about it second hand from one of my best friends who still hung around them a lot. Or i'd occassionally be at something, usually through that good friend and here and see the odd thing. Really I had drifted to people more into what I liked and better suited to me. I changed high schools mid way through so never fit completely into already formed friendship groups, so I just kind of kept some good friends but drifted to more suited to me people. None of this was good mates, but yeah just things people were up to, the odd observation. I wouldn't put up with it as a good mate.

I did however directly tell one of my mates to dump his fiance. However that was kind of the reverse, she was the horrible cheating one. It's an insane situation. I'll explain it and you'll go, WTF? So yeah no way I couldn't bring it up.

They'd been dating since the end of high school. This is several years later. Out with some friends from the group and random peoples friends. She was drunk and hooked up with a mates friend.

Big whole thing, they went on a relationship break.

During this three month break,

She slept with a guy we went to school with, friendly terms but not in the group.

In the group she slept one of the guys. Now this is a close friendship group. These guys were close family friends, known each other since kids. Lets call this guy B.

The original couple get back together he knows about this, he's apparently fine with it because they were on a break....

About a year later it comes out that in this break she also slept with another close guy in the friendship group. Lets call him C. However it didn't end there. It continued on until this whole thing game out. Often it'd be just the four of these people hanging out. Close group.

Oh and C was at the time dating the sister of B.

Yeah and they are still together and some what friends. What was fucked up, the guy that was cheating long term with the girl. He was still around a lot because where as most groups would push that person away, they were so fucked up and interdependent he was still there hanging out, playing sport and everything.

I was not around when this happened, just more casual friends. I was well off with my new friends constantly drunk in night clubs and seeing bands which was way more fun than hanging out with a mean self dependent group who actually hated each other. They inturn hated me to some extent because I went off and had my 'cool new friends.' But yeah I fucking told my mate he can not stay with that girl and he has to get away. Whole big drama. He was then, 'you're just saying that because you want to fuck her.' So yeah... I can't believe they're still together. Haven't seen them for a few years at this stage. This whole thing was kind of my final nail in the coffin of having anything to do with these people. Most are off else where doing their things. Sadly all quite good looking and fucking successful, so you see on facebook and they're having amazing lives living and working overseas.
Click to expand...

I would not believe everything you see on facebook. A lot of people post how happy and successful they are, but the fact is, some are just putting up a front or a show. My sister in law is one of those people. To the outside people she lives a great life, to the family that actually see what goes on, it's chaotic at best. I personally think they live their life in denial. Anyways, the same could be for these people you once knew, don't buy into their fb lives.

Though it is possible that these people were all young and dumb and age has made them wiser and they have sorted all their differences. You know made them a stronger couple because they have been through it all type of thing. who knows I suppose. People do change with age I think, but I'm a believer in the human race as naïve as that sounds to many.

Btw, I wish these people decided to go on a reality show. Their lives sound perfect for one of those mtv trashy reality shows, and I have an addiction for these things haha.
 
When I was younger I dated a "bad boy"... turned out he was a violent abusive sociopath who ruined my life and gave me PTSD and trust issues for life. I learned my lesson. Now I only like men who don't try so hard to be "masculine" (or what society tells us is masculine), who are kind and have compassion and empathy. But there's a fine line. There are guys out there who pretend to be nice, who call themselves chivalrous and will talk all day about how much they respect women, but their kindness only extends to how much they want to fuck you. And if you don't see them that way, or you're not interested, they can turn on you in a hot second. They're called Nice Guys TM and I avoid them like the plague. I only like genuinely nice guys.
 
des moines said:
When I was younger I dated a "bad boy"... turned out he was a violent abusive sociopath who ruined my life and gave me PTSD and trust issues for life. I learned my lesson. Now I only like men who don't try so hard to be "masculine" (or what society tells us is masculine), who are kind and have compassion and empathy. But there's a fine line. There are guys out there who pretend to be nice, who call themselves chivalrous and will talk all day about how much they respect women, but their kindness only extends to how much they want to fuck you. And if you don't see them that way, or you're not interested, they can turn on you in a hot second. They're called Nice Guys TM and I avoid them like the plague. I only like genuinely nice guys.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear that des moines. That's absolutely awful and not a lesson any woman should have to learn. I do hope you found some good relationships after that, though the affects of the bad relationship are still there.
 
Sweetgeek said:
Sorry to hear that des moines. That's absolutely awful and not a lesson any woman should have to learn. I do hope you found some good relationships after that, though the affects of the bad relationship are still there.
Click to expand...
Thank you sweetie. It took thousands of dollars worth of therapy but time does heal (or at least make things more manageable), I am single atm and loving it, but I'm no longer as afraid of relationships as I used to be. Meeting men who were decent and lovely and showed me not all relationships are like that really helped :)
 
I'll say it again because it's bothering me: Lisa's extremely similar to Katie. Personality, mannerism and even looks.

BB should've waited next year or something to accept her in the house. I mean, there hasn't been two people incredibly alike in the house (both looks and personality) - NOT counting siblings though.

And I completely forgotten about her, because when I see her I think Katie #2.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top