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General O/T Chit Chat Thread

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(Witty Banter is walking merrily along the city streets, when a Piel de Sapo melon jumps from inside a rubbish bin out in front of him.)

Piel de Sapo melon: Surprise!

Witty: Oh dear lord.

Piel de Sapo: Got you, Witty.

Witty: Oh, I guess you did,. That was your best one yet, Piel! My turn to surprise you now?

Piel de Sapo: Yep.
My surprise is that anyone would throw out the toad skinned fruit of the gods. (Piel de Sapo means Peel of Toad)

And what is this fictional nonsense about me walking merrily down the street? I'm a grade A certifiable badass. Fruit stays in the rubbish bin when they see me coming.
 
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My surprise is that anyone would throw out the toad skinned fruit of the gods. (Piel de Sapo means Peel of Toad)

And what is this fictional nonsense about me walking merrily down the street? I'm a grade A badass.

Well I guess it was a surpise then that the Piel de Sapo was in the bin.

Also, walking merrily down the street meant that you were not thinking about any surpise fruits, because if you were you wouldn't be merry at all.
 
Well I guess it was a surpise then that the Piel de Sapo was in the bin.

Also, walking merrily down the street meant that you were not thinking about any surpise fruits, because if you were you wouldn't be merry at all.
My fruit confession is during one junior school assembly, the principal asked for the student who kept throwing their apple in the toilet every recess to stop. I had been doing it, so scared my mum would find out if I just threw it in the rubbish bin. I must have turned white as a sheet. The poor cleaner must have had to retrieve 40 or so apples in total. Strange part is, I don't even hate apples.
 
My fruit confession is during one junior school assembly, the principal asked for the student who kept throwing their apple in the toilet every recess to stop. I had been doing it, so scared my mum would find out if I just threw it in the rubbish bin. I must have turned white as a sheet. The poor cleaner must have had to retrieve 40 or so apples in total.

how bad was it that food was chucked out, because we didn't like what was given. If only they had asked what we would like to eat! Some of my sandwiches ended up mouldy in my case! Bad Bad Bad!!!

I still have food issues .........
 
My fruit confession is during one junior school assembly, the principal asked for the student who kept throwing their apple in the toilet every recess to stop. I had been doing it, so scared my mum would find out if I just threw it in the rubbish bin. I must have turned white as a sheet. The poor cleaner must have had to retrieve 40 or so apples in total. Strange part is, I don't even hate apples.

I hate apples. I hate the feeling of the apples against the inside of my throat when I swallow them. Makes me want to vomit.
 
I hate apples. I hate the feeling of the apples against the inside of my throat when I swallow them. Makes me want to vomit.
I thought your story about me was a personal anecdote with names changed to protect the innocent. I'll reread it swapping my name for reepbot, rubbish bin for lunchbox and piel de sapo for apple.
 
I thought your story about me was a personal anecdote with names changed to protect the innocent. I'll reread it swapping my name for reepbot, rubbish bin for lunchbox and piel de sapo for apple.

No, I made it up on the spot. I just had this funny image of you wagging your finger and shaking your head at the fruit after it had surprised you, like you were saying 'Oh, fruit! What a rascal.'
 
When my grandparents were alive we spent Christmas Eve at my grandparents house. We could only open presents after eating traditional christmas dishes, the worst being swede casserole and another was a terrible carrot dish. I dragged it out to 3 hours, several mouthfuls could be wasted in toilet visits. My evil aunt made us eat the plate clean.

Again, now I pretty much like all vegetables, even unbuttered brussels sprouts. I can't figure out why I opposed them so much.
 
When my grandparents were alive we spent Christmas Eve at my grandparents house. We could only open presents after eating traditional christmas dishes, the worst being swede casserole and another was a terrible carrot dish. I dragged it out to 3 hours, several mouthfuls could be wasted in toilet visits. My evil aunt made us eat the plate clean.

Again, now I pretty much like all vegetables, even unbuttered brussels sprouts. I can't figure out why I opposed them so much.

Maybe it was an act of rebellion?
 
No, I made it up on the spot. I just had this funny image of you wagging your finger and shaking your head at the fruit after it had surprised you, like you were saying 'Oh, fruit! What a rascal.'
If a melon goaded me, it would be finding itself in a midori or butterscotch schnapps cocktail before it could spell piel de sapo.
 
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If a melon goaded me, it would be finding itself in a midori or butterscotch schnapps cocktail before it could spell piel de sapo.

I think I like fictional Banter better. Only because he seems more amusing and twee. Plus in my head he speaks with a plummy English accent.
 
I think I like fictional Banter better. Only because he seems more amusing and twee. Plus in my head he speaks with a plummy English accent.
I can't get too fictional because in yesteryear we all grew up with talking fruit on TV. It was everywhere during the 80s. It was reality.

This has nothing to do with that other than being 80s and funny:
Modern+Talking-400x532.jpg
 
Wow. You guys actually sat down and watched tv? With like commercials and stuff? Crazy times.
We didn't even have remote control for TV until I was 12.

As part of the circle of life, she is now doing bladder control liner ads.


You could totally perve on other people with practically zero consequences.
 
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I'm not stunningly old, but a small 34 cm Black & White for the whole family was standard.

It's a Knockout was the closest thing they had to reality TV. Music videos hadn't been invented. Blankety Blanks and Sullivans seemed to be on permanent repeat.
 
I'm not stunningly old, but a small 34 cm Black & White for the whole family was standard.

It's a Knockout was the closest thing they had to reality TV. Music videos hadn't been invented. Blankety Blanks and Sullivans seemed to be on permanent repeat.

Was The Sullivans any good?
 
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