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The Bachelorette 2017

Isee said:
Perhaps not an open book on date one. But for a relationship to survive ideally you would want to know if you are compatible on the same topics of importance, or can be respectful regarding the opinions thst differ. Thete will be some issues that are fundamental deal breakers for people. Lying about that is never going to end well.
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so like hypothetically (because this will never happen) I date someone, and it goes well for me, and I like tell my hypothetical girlfriend that i think she is putting on some weight? i mean surely if i told this hypothetical person that she would dump me on the spot?

what i'm trying to say is that isn't there such a thing as being too honest?
 
davidftw said:
74a7259f0e1da312c24c098e9f3c1b2f


If Madam Tussaud's made a "Serial Killer" waxwork, I'm pretty sure it would look like this. :hilarious:
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looks to me as though he is putting her on a pedestal with the way they are positioned.
 
reepbot said:
like if a person was dating someone they wouldn't be honest about every part of their opinions or values would they?
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why not? sure you want to present the best “version” of yourself when you first meet but as the relationship builds honesty is a great foundation - because that leads to trust .. and being able to be your whole true self with another person is extremely liberating ... and to know that person loves you in return - the good, the bad and the ugly.... its wonderful.

the bells, whistles, roses ... that stuff doesnt disappear ... sometimes it gets taken for granted a bit ... but then something will happen in your lives ... and its a wake up call to NOT take what you have for granted. And to be thankful everyday that you have that special person in your life that really does complete you (its a total cliche I know ... damn movie stole the line from everyone!!) ... maybe that person that really does get you is better ...

anyway rewatching on Goggle Box tonight when Barry Dubois from The Living Room was telling his audience about his cancer returning ... it puts things back into perspective ... I cried when I saw it the first time ... and I cried again tonight ... I dont even know the guy but the love that was in that studio with him ... with that team of people from the show ... just beautiful. and so so moving ..

night all ... I need to detatch for a bit Im ok - just a bit sooky after watching him again
Catch you tomorrow
 
reepbot said:
so like hypothetically (because this will never happen) I date someone, and it goes well for me, and I like tell my hypothetical girlfriend that i think she is putting on some weight? i mean surely if i told this hypothetical person that she would dump me on the spot?

what i'm trying to say is that isn't there such a thing as being too honest?
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Depends on your underlying rationale for telling her.... Is it to hurt her feelings? Is it because you are worried about her health? Are you worried about what might be causing her to overeat? Or is it it just cos hypothetical you is a shallow bastard who only likes skinney chicks? Girlfriend probably probably doesn't need to be told the obvious as usually we are acutely aware of these things so you motive for making the statement would determine her reaction.
 
Isee said:
Depends on your underlying rationale for telling her.... Is it to hurt her feelings? Is it because you are worried about her health? Are you worried about what might be causing her to overeat? Or is it it just cos hypothetical you is a shallow bastard who only likes skinney chicks? Girlfriend probably probably doesn't need to be told the obvious as usually we are acutely aware of these things so you motive for making the statement would determine her reaction.
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it's hypothetical because i'm going to die alone. but never mind about that. the rationale for telling in this hypothetical situation is out of concern.
 
reepbot said:
it's hypothetical because i'm going to die alone. but never mind about that. the rationale for telling in this hypothetical situation is out of concern.
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If its out of concern she may get defensive but if there is already trust and respect built then she is unlikely to dump you.
 
Isee said:
If its out of concern she may get defensive but if there is already trust and respect built then she is unlikely to dump you.
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ok, what if i'm honest to her about what other people, like my friends or family thought about her? like let's say a family member told me they thought my hypothetical girlfriend was stupid and i told my girlfriend that. is that being too honest?
 
reepbot said:
ok, what if i'm honest to her about what other people, like my friends or family thought about her? like let's say a family member told me they thought my hypothetical girlfriend was stupid and i told my girlfriend that. is that being too honest?
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Motive for telling her is what?
 
reepbot said:
she notices me talking with this family member and wants to know what we talked about. i want to be honest and open with her so i tell her the whole truth.
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So she asked and you have decided you want to be that honest with her. How you choose to communicate it and support her through how she feels about what you tell her could either strengthen or weaken your relationship.
 
Isee said:
So she asked and you have decided you want to be that honest with her. How you choose to communicate it and support her through how she feels about what you tell her could either strengthen or weaken your relationship.
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So if I tell it a concerning way it would be ok? like a concerning how dare this family member say such a thing way? because i wouldn't do it in a mocking way.
 
you know, I was going to quote all your posts, reepy, but life is to short .... JUST FUCKING GO AND APPLY and go on a show like this, if you can make it. Everything you post - is about you - and you are just so frustrating - IMHO ....... JUST go out there and LIVE a REAL LIFE for goodness sake - STOP taking over threads - and put the information that others have shared over the last 2+ years , to good use - and re read. Talk about someone that is all about themself ...............
 
i wasn't making it about me though, i was more interested in the concept of honesty as pertains in a romantic relationship. like the question of how honest is too honest? can you be too honest with someone? is the truth always the right thing?
 
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