Skip to main content

General O/T Chit Chat Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
Trala said:
Good moaning OT thread!

I have had an action packed few days! I am officially an orphan! My mum has finally been set free from her life, and us kids are doing what we always seem to do and clean up the mess, but this will be the last time.

She got to leave us with the ultimate mind fuck, due to not being found for three days. Who knew that it was the families responsibility to organise that sort of clean up stuff?! $730 to despose of a bed! We have left her unit open, so hopefully the smell will be better when we all meet at the end of next week.

I am going through the obvious emotional rollercoast which feels bipolar in itself. I go from suffocating guilt, to heartbreak, to anger, to laughter, all in 10 minutes. Because of the disorder there, I was nominated to go through her paperwork and contact Centerlink and so on, I spent most of the night going through mountains of paperwork, and it looks like she has kept every fucking Telstra, energy, gas bill she ever got, and kept every card I ever sent, so so sad.

We want to sort it together, so we are waiting for my middle brother to return from Indo next week, then the lot of us are going to meet at Mums unit and clean, reminisce, and de-hoard. Both of my brothers are super funny, I mean could be comedians funny, so it will be a lovely way to say goodbye to her together, and close this chapter of our lives.
Click to expand...

Trala said:
Thanks Fiona.

It is a terrible thing to say out loud, but it is a relief. She couldn't control her addictions and it made her life and our lives for that matter, hell. I am my mothers daughter in many ways, I understand addiction well. Thankfully I was born into the no excuses support generation, where you have guidance everywhere.

I spoke to her on Saturday and I didn't tell her I loved her, I now need to live that and the role I played in our mutual dysfunction. I really hope it doesn't haunt me, know what I mean?
Click to expand...

RIP to your Mum. She gave you life, at least ..... and the Mirror to use her life, to change yours.

All the best. Not pretty way to end a life, but somewhat, a lesson for many :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tee
Sorry for your loss Trala.

My dad died alone in his house too, heart attack, found the next morning after we were called by the emergency buzzer service to investigate as he hadn't pressed his button to check in that morning. Sad that he died alone. And I could have visited him the weekend before he died, but as you know, there's always next week. But I don't think you can dwell too much on those things, they can't be fixed, and really the end doesn't stand for the entire relationship. Nothing special would've been said if I had gone over. The guilt is hard to avoid, you always think what if you'd done more for them, but my dad was living exactly as he wanted to.

We had to do a three sibling sort out of his stuff too, I just hope everyone is of a decisive nature. The worst things are those "too good to throw out" but that nobody actually wants.

We went into full panic mode when upon calling the solicitor who he had been telling us repeatedly for the last 20 years of his life had his will and the title of the house, didn't actually have them and didn't know who did. Thankfully my nephew married a lawyer and she tracked them down god knows how.

Anyway, it's a sad and crazy time. For a while I couldn't figure out why the whole world didn't stop, eventually that passed.

Hope everything goes as easily as it can do. Don't start any fights. Give yourself as many breaks as you can.
 
Too lazy to look for gogglebox threads, if indeed there are any, but this evening in Hawthorn, on the hill near the river, I think the man who waited for me to go around the corner was the father in the father, mother, two daughters family. Certainly looked like him. More of a gut on him than the tv lets on if it's him. Do they live in Melbourne?
 
Sorry for your loss trala. I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye but a loss of a family member is never easy. Hope you are ok and I mean it.

Take care. Xo
 
Trala said:
Good moaning OT thread!

I have had an action packed few days! I am officially an orphan! My mum has finally been set free from her life, and us kids are doing what we always seem to do and clean up the mess, but this will be the last time.

She got to leave us with the ultimate mind fuck, due to not being found for three days. Who knew that it was the families responsibility to organise that sort of clean up stuff?! $730 to despose of a bed! We have left her unit open, so hopefully the smell will be better when we all meet at the end of next week.

I am going through the obvious emotional rollercoast which feels bipolar in itself. I go from suffocating guilt, to heartbreak, to anger, to laughter, all in 10 minutes. Because of the disorder there, I was nominated to go through her paperwork and contact Centerlink and so on, I spent most of the night going through mountains of paperwork, and it looks like she has kept every fucking Telstra, energy, gas bill she ever got, and kept every card I ever sent, so so sad.

We want to sort it together, so we are waiting for my middle brother to return from Indo next week, then the lot of us are going to meet at Mums unit and clean, reminisce, and de-hoard. Both of my brothers are super funny, I mean could be comedians funny, so it will be a lovely way to say goodbye to her together, and close this chapter of our lives.
Click to expand...

Trala I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and the circumstances. A similar thing happened to me with my brother and it was quite an ordeal for a few months. Luckily there are a few of you so hopefully between all of you, you can support each other & get through this very difficult time. Thoughts are with you xXx
 
Trala said:
Thanks Fiona.

It is a terrible thing to say out loud, but it is a relief. She couldn't control her addictions and it made her life and our lives for that matter, hell. I am my mothers daughter in many ways, I understand addiction well. Thankfully I was born into the no excuses support generation, where you have guidance everywhere.

I spoke to her on Saturday and I didn't tell her I loved her, I now need to live that and the role I played in our mutual dysfunction. I really hope it doesn't haunt me, know what I mean?
Click to expand...

Just to let you know that my brother had addictions all his adult life. We were so very close as kids and up until say 25 then his addictions took over everything. Without going into specifics, we were estranged for a good few years before he passed and I only really started speaking to him again because of my Mum. It was never the same and very strained. I was quite nasty to him 2 weeks before he passed and that was the last time I saw him. That haunted me at first but after working through things emotionally, I had to not make him into some sort of Saint now he had passed. He was still very hurtful and abusive before he died and he still had to be accountable for that. Something that you can find hard to do when people pass and there's some sort of angst. It was kind of a relief to me too, because it was reaching a breaking point.. it was either him or someone else. I dunno, hard to describe that sort of relief, but I get the feeling you know what I mean. You will get to a place where you will find peace with your last conversation. Family knows the love, it's unspoken. Like my brother, I fucking hated him but I also loved him too. That was tough to sort out in my head. Sorry for the unsolicited advice... just wanted to let you know that it will sort itself out over the next wee while. You're a logical caring woman... when you feel unsure, remind yourself that she knew... because she did, even if it wasn't spoken. xXx
 
el'coopo said:
tumblr_inline_o14akxkFDr1rbg6n0_500.gif


Big hugs & all my love. Your mum is free now.
Click to expand...
Thank you, Nae. I love your guts Xo[DOUBLEPOST=1459609274][/DOUBLEPOST]
bleachy_dude said:
Praying for you in this time Tra xx
Click to expand...
Thank you, Ross. Your friendship means so much to me. Xo
 
jessy_girl said:
My thoughts are with you @Trala - so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the immense range of emotions you're feeling right now in addition to the regular stages of grief, but hopefully you can find peace in the situation soon. Take care xx
Click to expand...
Thanks Jess. We are certainly very bipolar bear when it comes to emotion and the grieving process.

Just taking it one day at a time.

Thanks for both your concern and your ongoing friendship. Xo[DOUBLEPOST=1459609635][/DOUBLEPOST]
Daltrim said:
I am sorry for your loss @Trala xxx
Click to expand...
Thank you lady. Xo
 
hooleydooley said:
RIP to your Mum. She gave you life, at least ..... and the Mirror to use her life, to change yours.

All the best. Not pretty way to end a life, but somewhat, a lesson for many :(
Click to expand...
Thanks Deb. She had a tortured life really and died alone. It could have been so different. She had so many beautiful things she could have lived for, her children, her grand children, but nothing could ever compete with her addictions.

It is a sad end to a very sad life.
 
oddjob said:
Sorry for your loss Trala.

My dad died alone in his house too, heart attack, found the next morning after we were called by the emergency buzzer service to investigate as he hadn't pressed his button to check in that morning. Sad that he died alone. And I could have visited him the weekend before he died, but as you know, there's always next week. But I don't think you can dwell too much on those things, they can't be fixed, and really the end doesn't stand for the entire relationship. Nothing special would've been said if I had gone over. The guilt is hard to avoid, you always think what if you'd done more for them, but my dad was living exactly as he wanted to.

We had to do a three sibling sort out of his stuff too, I just hope everyone is of a decisive nature. The worst things are those "too good to throw out" but that nobody actually wants.

We went into full panic mode when upon calling the solicitor who he had been telling us repeatedly for the last 20 years of his life had his will and the title of the house, didn't actually have them and didn't know who did. Thankfully my nephew married a lawyer and she tracked them down god knows how.

Anyway, it's a sad and crazy time. For a while I couldn't figure out why the whole world didn't stop, eventually that passed.

Hope everything goes as easily as it can do. Don't start any fights. Give yourself as many breaks as you can.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing.

While my brothers and I seldom see each other, we share a strong love. Saturday will be spent de-hoarding, grandchildren included. And Saturday night we will share our goodbye, all of us together, reminiscing, while listening to Neil Diamond.

There will be no fighting, you can be sure of that. We have agreed to split all expenses 3 ways.

It is a sad time, but it is what it is, and she is now free. I just hope us three kids will be freed too.
 
GROOVER said:
Sorry for your loss trala. I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye but a loss of a family member is never easy. Hope you are ok and I mean it.

Take care. Xo
Click to expand...
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

And for the record, I enjoy the discussions where I don't see "eye to eye" just as much as I enjoy the many friendships I have made in here over the years.

Thanks again for your kindness.
:)
 
shaydee said:
Trala I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and the circumstances. A similar thing happened to me with my brother and it was quite an ordeal for a few months. Luckily there are a few of you so hopefully between all of you, you can support each other & get through this very difficult time. Thoughts are with you xXx
Click to expand...
Thank you so much.

We will be leaning on each other for sure.

None of us really know what we are doing. We found a will that she had written but no JP sig, so I am not sure if it is worth the paper it is written on, not that there is any real money. But it will help closing bank accounts and so on as it named me and my little brother as the executors.
 
shaydee said:
Just to let you know that my brother had addictions all his adult life. We were so very close as kids and up until say 25 then his addictions took over everything. Without going into specifics, we were estranged for a good few years before he passed and I only really started speaking to him again because of my Mum. It was never the same and very strained. I was quite nasty to him 2 weeks before he passed and that was the last time I saw him. That haunted me at first but after working through things emotionally, I had to not make him into some sort of Saint now he had passed. He was still very hurtful and abusive before he died and he still had to be accountable for that. Something that you can find hard to do when people pass and there's some sort of angst. It was kind of a relief to me too, because it was reaching a breaking point.. it was either him or someone else. I dunno, hard to describe that sort of relief, but I get the feeling you know what I mean. You will get to a place where you will find peace with your last conversation. Family knows the love, it's unspoken. Like my brother, I fucking hated him but I also loved him too. That was tough to sort out in my head. Sorry for the unsolicited advice... just wanted to let you know that it will sort itself out over the next wee while. You're a logical caring woman... when you feel unsure, remind yourself that she knew... because she did, even if it wasn't spoken. xXx
Click to expand...
You have no idea how much I needed to have someone outside my brothers relate. The three of us are troubled by our guilt.

I hate love her like you did your brother. And I can't believe its over. It hits me in waves.

The fact she was rotting in her bed alone for days is hugely confronting and upsetting. We have to now reconcile that.

You give me hope.
 
I am doing a night shift tonight, and this has been such a beautiful surprise. You all have no idea how much your kindness and concern means to me.

Since Wednesday I have been overwhelmed with love and support, and I can't help but stop and consider how lucky I am to have so many extraordinary people in my life. Seriously, the good out number the cunts by an easy 70:1 :roflmao:

Thanks again, Team OT. If I could post a naked gif I would. Lucas I am entrusting you to bring our darling Mutley's thread back on topic.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top