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General O/T Chit Chat Thread

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Trala said:
Oh my God!

Had the most eventful day!

While I pretend to have the nursing knowledge of Florence Nightingale herself, the facts are I am a brand new nurse who has been nursing for 18 months.

Today I had to do an in/out catheter on a woman post AB's for a UTI - no problem I think. I read her notes and see she is a mental health patient, read a bit more - non compliant mental health, read more - non compliant mental health patient under the Mental Health Act. To non nurses this means force must be used when performing necessary nursing interventions.

Well nek minnut there are 4 wardies, 2 AIN's, 1 RN and me. RN tags me to perform it as it will be "great experience for you". So you need to use your imagination at this point. I have a morbidly obese middle aged woman with severe mental health issues, who is squirming like a fish in the bottom of a boat, who is kicking, punching AND spitting and is now screaming at the top of her lungs "YOU'RE KILLING ME!! FUCK OFF YOU PACK OF RAT FACED MONGOLOID CUNTS!!!! FUCK OFFFFFFF!!!" (IKR: who says mongoloid in this day and age but I digress..) So 6 staff hold her down, and the RN has now sort of pushed up her stomach, I am trying to perform an in/out catheter, while trying to locate a urethra which at this point is like trying to locate a pin hole in a mountain of squirming flesh. At this point it felt like an impossible task because a urethra can be difficult to find at the best of times on obese females, by adding the extra burden of a squirming, spitting and screaming woman, who was hell bent on not having what she so desperately needed done, I felt like I would fail her care needs, and to a nurse that is an awful feeling

To be perfectly honest by now my hand is shaking like a junkie on day 2 of detox, but like a miracle I saw an opening, I tried to gently go for it as quick as I could, and thankfully I struck amber coloured oil! YAY!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I got High 5’ed by the boss and had lots of back patting and felt so happy with myself. However, worst part the ward test revealed another UTI, so I could be doing it all again in 7 days! Fingers crossed it is not on my shift!

Ha!

Nursing people! Its an adventure!

Best. Day. Ever.
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Awesome work you naughty fair, Im imagining the opening you saw as a pinhole of light descending from heaven with angels singing AHHHHHHH!
 
Trala said:
One Two back to you!

Mutley, give me the hair run down!

And as you can see from my bible length diatribe above - don't skimp on the detail!

Ha!
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My hair performed well, but lets say Im not an actor, my "acting" was as stiff as a catholic priest around new alter boys, fun experience, oh and a elderly rich gay gentleman tried to casting couch me, so I have scrapped the app idea.... my skin crawled
 
mutleyp said:
My hair performed well, but lets say Im not an actor, my "acting" was as stiff as a catholic priest around new alter boys, fun experience, oh and a elderly rich gay gentleman tried to casting couch me, so I have scrapped the app idea.... my skin crawled
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Did you have lines or just stand around in front of a fan
 
mutleyp said:
My hair performed well, but lets say Im not an actor, my "acting" was as stiff as a catholic priest around new alter boys, fun experience, oh and a elderly rich gay gentleman tried to casting couch me, so I have scrapped the app idea.... my skin crawled
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Oh no, that sounds awful. Did you find out more about the commercial, like is it going to be broadcast on TV, or will we have to stalk you on YouTube to find it?

You are well indoctrinated into the world of acting now with a casting couch experience, and on your first day. Baby, you're a star!

Tell me more about this old rich dude, does he require a beard at all?
 
MADONNA said:
Did you have lines or just stand around in front of a fan
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No lines thank god! I had to do some reaction shots, and have a cutthroat razor shave, which was nice cos I had a hot towel covering my face for most of it
 
MADONNA said:
Did you have lines
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Of course. He got the complete entertainment package.

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jessy_girl said:
Oh no, that sounds awful. Did you find out more about the commercial, like is it going to be broadcast on TV, or will we have to stalk you on YouTube to find it?

You are well indoctrinated into the world of acting now with a casting couch experience, and on your first day. Baby, you're a star!

Tell me more about this old rich dude, does he require a beard at all?
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I should know more on the 8th of october! Haha I think he had a beard because he has 2 sons (and they are fucking gorgeous) one straight one gay, so you know, double date??
 
mutleyp said:
Stream via iPad thanks!
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Bugger.

Too late.

We can try again tomorrow.

P.S. Just so you are forewarned, one glimpse of my beautiful glistening lady garden and you will never eat kabana again!
 
Trala said:
Bugger.

Too late.

We can try again tomorrow.

P.S. Just so you are forewarned, one glimpse of my beautiful glistening lady garden and you will never eat kabana again!
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We can hope! Life would be much easier :P
 
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