Mikkayla Mossop @MikkaylaMossop 4h
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Mikkayla Mossop is an ex-D-grade celebrity. Follow her musings about everything she reflects on & the occasional photo of her dogs.
Dating for dummies
As a recently inducted member to the Kingdom of Singles, I was looking forward to reviving my dormant social life and experiencing the market of casual dates in my eternal quest to find ‘The One’; whether it be The One For Now or The One Forever & Ever Until I Die. However my excitement waned when my more experienced single friends informed me that old-school dating was not as common an occurrence as what I was expecting.
The whole process of being picked up from your house, taken to a restaurant where a reservation has been made in advance, idle chit-chat and getting-to-know-you conversation and being dropped back home with a goodnight kiss and the excitement of anticipating if and when you’d receive a follow up call or text is less common than the chances of finding someone who is stoked with the Federal Budget.
People love describing what their ideal date would be. Unless you’re as clueless as poor Miss Rhode Island on Miss Congeniality, you’d have more of a clue than
“April 25th.Because it’s not too hot, not too cold; all you need is a light jacket!” My ideal date would be dinner somewhere with table service and an alcohol license, followed by something fun and social, like ten-pin bowling, a couple of hours at Timezone or a game of mini-golf. Finish it all up with a Max Brenner/Cold Rock/equally delicious dessert venue and at the end not only will I be blissfully tired and full, but also there would have been ample time for both parties to determine whether a second date is on the cards or if the parting, obligatory kiss will be landing on the cheek.
Take me to the cinemas, to a live sporting event or to a ‘group hang’ with 10 of your closest mates and your chances of a follow up are pretty much toast within the first hour. Don’t get me wrong; these options are fantastic for a second or third date but for a first date? Sitting awkwardly side by side in the dark while I’m shovelling popcorn in my mouth and picking kernels out of my teeth is not ideal. I tend to become embarrassingly, abusively vocal at live games, even if I have absolutely no idea what is happening out there, and if you take me to meet your mates on the first date, chances are I’ll spend the entire time scouting potential first date partners out of those presented and comparing you to your cuter, less-hairy friend who laughed at my joke.
Dating shouldn’t be such a scary, difficult thing. It’s a little bit of pre-planning, a little bit of courtesy, a little bit of common-sense and should always be considered with the foresight of wanting to find a partner with whom you are compatible, have fun with and can see yourself with for the foreseeable future. You don’t date someone anticipating the day that you are going to break up with them. You date someone with the hope that it’s this person who will end your search, take you off Tinder, change your Facebook relationship status, take home to meet the family and, if it’s what you desire, have babies with one day.
Most importantly, dating allows you to reflect on yourself. What do you like? What do you want? What does your future hold? What kind of commitment are you after? If casual booty calls and Tinder hookups are what you are currently enjoying then obviously this blog isn’t really intended for you. But if you’re fair dinkum about wanting to find someone to be with for the rest of your life (monogamy and all that jazz) then don’t be afraid to show that to the universe, take chances, understand that it may take time and also be open to the fact that your wants, needs and expectations may change over time.
My do’s and don’ts of dating in 2014
Do: Be willing to express what you would like to do on the date. Don’t be all “Yeah, whatevs, I’ll do anything” and then whinge that he took you mountain climbing in your Jimmy Choos.
Do: Eat what and how you would usually eat. First dates are no time to order the garden salad when you would usually be smashing the chicken parma and asking for an extra serving of fries.
Do: Wear an outfit that you are comfortable in. Even if that means you have to break out the Bridget Jones-style fat pants. I’m actually very comfortable in my tummy-sucker-in-er-ers. They give me a feeling of security, like a Thunder Jacket for dogs, or a blanky for toddlers.
Don’t: Spend hundreds of dollars on a ‘first date outfit’. If what you’ve already got in your wardrobe doesn’t seem sufficient, then chances are you won’t be comfortable being yourself on your date. If you make it to a third or fourth date, then feel free to shop around for something special.
Do: Allow yourself to laugh as loudly, raucously and freely as you would around familiar faces.
Don’t: Be afraid to be tactile with them. That doesn’t mean going for a sporadic booty/booby/groin grab. But if you want to touch their arm, hold their hand or go in for the goodbye kiss, then go for it!
Don’t: Spend any unnecessary time on your mobile phone. It’s rude. At least excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to debrief with your bestie about everything that has happened so far.
Do: Allow yourself to relax, let your guard down and enjoy yourself.