Skip to main content

Why don't people like Ben?

I have known someone very like Ben. He seems to be old fashioned and a little introverted. I don't think he is fake.
 
up_all_night said:
But there's generally social norms.

If he got a giant stick with poo on the end and shoved it Tully's face. You could say, 'yes that isn't what you'd do, but not everyone handles situations in the same way.'
Click to expand...

I don't think that's 'social norms' at all...I certainly don't avoid people when they're angry/upset...I try and cheer them up.
That was how he was trying to help, he also did it with Mik....I don't see anything wrong with his behaviour.
 
Sorceress said:
I don't think that's 'social norms' at all...I certainly don't avoid people when they're angry/upset...I try and cheer them up.
That was how he was trying to help, he also did it with Mik....I don't see anything wrong with his behaviour.
Click to expand...

I could accept that line of reasoning if that's what he was trying to do.

However it was two people in a close relationship. One crying and he walked over and talked about himself.

I don't see how that is him trying to cheer them up. I see someone who can't understand human interaction and a narcissist.

I see people projecting their own entertainment of Ben's behavior into the house.
 
Sorceress said:
That's what people do in general when watching Big Brother.
The whole fact of entertainment is someone people either connect with or love to hate.
Click to expand...

But you shouldn't then base what is going on in the house to the experience you have watching it at home. It's kind of pointless to do.

Here a serious emotional moment. Ben walks over going, 'me me me me me.' Just because it may come across funny to the viewer. Doesn't mean you should think that was the intention or what was going on in the house.
 
up_all_night said:
But you shouldn't then base what is going on in the house to the experience you have watching it at home. It's kind of pointless to do.

Here a serious emotional moment. Ben walks over going, 'me me me me me.' Just because it may come across funny to the viewer. Doesn't mean you should think that was the intention or what was going on in the house.
Click to expand...
But I didn't see it as 'me me me'.
People aren't always socially equiped to know the exact right thing to say or do so they fall back on what they are comfortable doing and that's what I saw with Ben.
He doesn't want to grab attention the way someone narcisstic should, he's happy to float around taking the world in.
 
Sorceress said:
But I didn't see it as 'me me me'.
People aren't always socially equiped to know the exact right thing to say or do so they fall back on what they are comfortable doing and that's what I saw with Ben.
He doesn't want to grab attention the way someone narcisstic should, he's happy to float around taking the world in.
Click to expand...


But all he does is talk about himself. That's very narcissistic.

Not knowing what to say, is precisely the problem. He doesn't understand or read emotions and frankly I don't think he cares. He then sits and mopes how people are mean by not saying hello. How he doesn't fit in. When the truth is, he puts no effort to fit in. Thinks everyone should put effort into him.

His bubble is completely Ben centered.
 
up_all_night said:
But all he does is talk about himself. That's very narcissistic.

Not knowing what to say, is precisely the problem. He doesn't understand or read emotions and frankly I don't think he cares. He then sits and mopes how people are mean by not saying hello. How he doesn't fit in. When the truth is, he puts no effort to fit in. Thinks everyone should put effort into him.

His bubble is completely Ben centered.
Click to expand...
This isn't a Ben only thing - The whole house can act like this.
And....man almost everyone talks about themselves....it doesn't mean they have some personality disorder.
 
To be fair to Ben, Tully seems to cry about something everyday, you would just have to carry on as you normally would or you wouldn't get anything done and honestly how long after the fact of the fight with Ed was she still carrying on about it? Ben was just trying to say something nice to them because he could see Drew was upset, and he has a friendship with him. Tully just happened to be there.

And to be fair to Ed, as much as people don't like him, he was trying to be nice to Tully and tell herself to look out when it comes to Drew. We as an audience have seen Drew go from group to group telling them what they other had said. But as usual Tully takes everything as a personal attack and makes anyone that comes into contact with her seem like the bad guy because nothing they do will ever be good enough to make her happy or cheer up. This time it just happened to be Ben that looked silly when he was just being the good guy in the moment.
 
[MENTION=4923]up_all_night[/MENTION] I think you make a good point. I don't think Ben even realises he does this but he makes everything about himself and isn't actually that interested in other people. I think the reason he floats around between groups is because he doesn't really care about what people are saying unless it's about him, so then he goes and talks about himself to someone else.
 
Elspie said:
To be fair to Ben, Tully seems to cry about something everyday, you would just have to carry on as you normally would or you wouldn't get anything done and honestly how long after the fact of the fight with Ed was she still carrying on about it? Ben was just trying to say something nice to them because he could see Drew was upset, and he has a friendship with him. Tully just happened to be there.

And to be fair to Ed, as much as people don't like him, he was trying to be nice to Tully and tell herself to look out when it comes to Drew. We as an audience have seen Drew go from group to group telling them what they other had said. But as usual Tully takes everything as a personal attack and makes anyone that comes into contact with her seem like the bad guy because nothing they do will ever be good enough to make her happy or cheer up. This time it just happened to be Ben that looked silly when he was just being the good guy in the moment.
Click to expand...

Ed wasn't trying to be nice to Tully. He was trying to get her to turn on Drew, when it's pretty clear Drew likes her and isn't using her.
 
BBfan- said:
Ed wasn't trying to be nice to Tully. He was trying to get her to turn on Drew, when it's pretty clear Drew likes her and isn't using her.
Click to expand...

I didn't say that Drew is using Tully, I said he does float between groups trying to play both sides, which may end up with Tully being in the crossfire. Besides how many times has Drew said stuff about Tully to other hms or BB? For example, in the fight he goes on to her about how pissed he is at Ed then in the diary is like 'She over reacts to everything'. That's my point. Drew is someone who is playing the nice guy card just as hard as Ed is trying to, but because he has the cheeky grin with the blue eyes look people are giving him a free pass, and Tully lovers defend him to no end.

Ed can see Drew's plan and I think knowing that Tully has a lot more lose on the outside then Drew does has made him dislike Drew as a person. I think in that moment he was trying to be a friend in some way but then people will see it how they want to see it. They should both grow a set and tell it to each others faces instead of letting the booze do the talking.
 
Elspie said:
I didn't say that Drew is using Tully, I said he does float between groups trying to play both sides, which may end up with Tully being in the crossfire. Besides how many times has Drew said stuff about Tully to other hms or BB? For example, in the fight he goes on to her about how pissed he is at Ed then in the diary is like 'She over reacts to everything'. That's my point. Drew is someone who is playing the nice guy card just as hard as Ed is trying to, but because he has the cheeky grin with the blue eyes look people are giving him a free pass, and Tully lovers defend him to no end.

Ed can see Drew's plan and I think knowing that Tully has a lot more lose on the outside then Drew does has made him dislike Drew as a person. I think in that moment he was trying to be a friend in some way but then people will see it how they want to see it. They should both grow a set and tell it to each others faces instead of letting the booze do the talking.
Click to expand...

I disagree. Drew has said some things about Tully to other people but he has mainly just vented about how annoying she was at a particular time or he's just complained about her after having a fight with her, but I don't think he ever meant to do it in a malicious way. She can still trust him and Ed must know that.

Also I meant that Ed (not you) was basically saying that Drew was using her.
 
What Ben was doing is called distraction. Mum's do it with their kids all the time. The kid is upset and crying, so mum does something to distract them. He distracted both Mikkayla and Tully from their problems. I think he did it in the right way both times. He got Mikk to laugh and Tully to stop crying and say I love you Ben. Mission accomplished.
 
ben definitely has his eyes on the prize and is playing strategically.

the ditzy and clueless thing is partly genuine but he's also using it to hide his real intentions.
 
A further point to my discussion about Ben during the Drew and Tully having an emotional moment.

He comes over, interjects with his crap ignoring the situation. In the middle of him talking. Tully burst into tears. Did he care? Did he stop? Did he change what he was saying? No! He ignored it and kept on going as if it didn't happen. How can anyone claim he was trying to lighten the mood? Or anything but he an insensitive uncare, lacking empathy shell of a human being.

Someone burst into tears and he didn't even flinch or care and kept on crapping on about his shit. Come on!!!!
 
up_all_night said:
A further point to my discussion about Ben during the Drew and Tully having an emotional moment.

He comes over, interjects with his crap ignoring the situation. In the middle of him talking. Tully burst into tears. Did he care? Did he stop? Did he change what he was saying? No! He ignored it and kept on going as if it didn't happen. How can anyone claim he was trying to lighten the mood? Or anything but he an insensitive uncare, lacking empathy shell of a human being.

Someone burst into tears and he didn't even flinch or care and kept on crapping on about his shit. Come on!!!!
Click to expand...

i thought that was really weird but it was probably edited. maybe when he was saying all that she'd already been crying for a while. and it's tully..come on. it would be very different with anyone else.
 
up_all_night said:
A further point to my discussion about Ben during the Drew and Tully having an emotional moment.

He comes over, interjects with his crap ignoring the situation. In the middle of him talking. Tully burst into tears. Did he care? Did he stop? Did he change what he was saying? No! He ignored it and kept on going as if it didn't happen. How can anyone claim he was trying to lighten the mood? Or anything but he an insensitive uncare, lacking empathy shell of a human being.

Someone burst into tears and he didn't even flinch or care and kept on crapping on about his shit. Come on!!!!
Click to expand...

You're clutching at straws there mate, your whole post reeks of it as a matter of fact. I hope for your sake you're taking the piss and just trying to yank peoples chains or else... :o
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top