WHen does hate become disturbing or does it?

[Oceanblue222]

Lots of talk here and in the US about Housemate hate on social media. Opinions range from anything goes to only rainbows and unicorns allowed. So when does hate cross the line for you? What should the rules be and who should create and enforce them?

 

[Gemini]

For me personally I think it goes over the line when people start attacking things that the housemates can't help, like their race, sexuality, family situation, etc. I think choosing to go on Big Brother you leave yourself open to a lot of potential criticism. If you're shown to have awful and extremely annoying personality traits like someone like Tully then I think as viewers of a television show that is meant to highlight personalities we have every right to express our hatred of the personality we're shown. However if the hate gets to the stage where anyone for example started to make cracks about how Tully's mother has Alzheimer's then that would well and truly be crossing the line IMo.

 

[Chump]

Why is it anytime someone makes a negative comment or observation it is considered 'hate'?

 

[Chump]

For me personally I think it goes over the line when people start attacking things that the housemates can't help, like their race, sexuality, family situation, etc. I think choosing to go on Big Brother you leave yourself open to a lot of potential criticism. If you're shown to have awful and extremely annoying personality traits like someone like Tully then I think as viewers of a television show that is meant to highlight personalities we have every right to express our hatred of the personality we're shown. However if the hate gets to the stage where anyone for example started to make cracks about how Tully's mother has Alzheimer's then that would well and truly be crossing the line IMo.

Hmm tricky, I agree that those who haven't put themselves into the spotlight (e.g. family and friends of HMs) should be left alone (unless something kind is being said).

Re other stuff it's trickier. Things like race and sexuality etc shouldn't be 'attacked', however I do think its fair game for humour ....problem is we all have different idea of what is and isn't funny. I make and listen to jokes about my own sexuality for example. It's not off topic and if I put myself out to the public for judgement to win a competition (which is based largely on who I am) then I would expect it to be open to ridicule on many levels.

I think the issue people are having is that so many people have such a negative view of one particular housemate that the volume of negativity is very high in one direction. That would be very tough to take, but then it's also people's views on someone who put themselves up to be judged.

 

[Gemini]

Re other stuff it's trickier. Things like race and sexuality etc shouldn't be 'attacked', however I do think its fair game for humour ....problem is we all have different idea of what is and isn't funny. I make and listen to jokes about my own sexuality for example. It's not off topic and if I put myself out to the public for judgement to win a competition (which is based largely on who I am) then I would expect it to be open to ridicule on many levels.

I think it's just one of those things where people will have different opinions. For me personally I hated it when last season I saw some people who hated Ben making some comments on Facebook that there was little wonder that he was such a bitch because he was gay and all homosexual males are apparently bitchy. I just didn't think there was a need to go there. I hated Ben too but it had nothing to do with his sexuality. I thought he was a mean bully, and I would think that he was a mean bully whether he was gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, etc.

 

[Chump]

I think it's just one of those things where people will have different opinions. For me personally I hated it when last season I saw some people who hated Ben making some comments on Facebook that there was little wonder that he was such a bitch because he was gay and all homosexual males are apparently bitchy. I just didn't think there was a need to go there. I hated Ben too but it had nothing to do with his sexuality. I thought he was a mean bully, and I would think that he was a mean bully whether he was gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, etc.

Agree in general.... Using your example we could have a scenario where some people say 'well all homosexual men are bitchy' and they mean it .... And someone else says 'yeah but aren't all homosexual men bitchy lol' and they are just intending to be sarcastic/joking .... Some will be ok with both comments some only one and some none

 

[Syriana1217]

As I stated in the other thread (about respect for the HMs and their friends and family), it goes to far when there are attacks based on race, gender, sex, sexuality, family situation, disability, and appearance. Those aren't things they can exactly change. As much as I have seen with this season of BBAU (particularly in relation to the appearance of some HMs), it is nothing to what has been happening on US BB15, which I had to stop watching, because it was really uncomfortable to see.

Also, which I may get flack for, I really don't like, and think it goes to far, when people throw around terms like "whore" and "slut". For me, they are inherently misogynistic. I don't think being more liberal sexually is something that should be criticized. Thus, someone who cheated should be criticized for the cheating, not for liking/wanting sex or affection. (I have the same issue with men using the term "bitch" but that would be way off topic.) The situation with Tully and Drew (if it is even real) has gone too far. Especially as most of the people commenting on the situation do not know either Tully or Tahlia.

On the other side, I know they have put themselves in this position, so attacks on personality and/or actions are too be expected. In the end you are on t.v., being seen by the public and should expect some negative comments.

 

[CASEYBB]

I think the hate of a particular HM becomes ridiculous when the intent behind it is only because they wanted to see two other HM's continue a sham romance that the TV show initiated.

 

[Tee]

Lots of talk here and in the US about Housemate hate on social media. Opinions range from anything goes to only rainbows and unicorns allowed. So when does hate cross the line for you? What should the rules be and who should create and enforce them?

It crosses the line for me when BBB hate mongers form pack hate mentalities to spew abuse and insults towards a housemate, while publicly slapping each other on the back celebrating each others personal vitriolic insults towards their targeted housemate. I hated a pack mentality in school and I hate a pack mentality as an adult. It saddens me to see how the Hate Pack talk about Tully. It goes so beyond the realm of normal to me. And when I read the nasty insults directed at Heidi, it makes me sad for Team Female. Heidi is a normal looking woman with some attractive attributes who sometimes behaves badly. She is not a Jade or a Tahan, she is a normal representation of female, and when she says something posters in here don't like, they attack her by calling her the nastiest names, it makes so mad sometimes I just have to log out.

For me, I like the housemates - all of them, I have more of a problem with the hate mongering BBB posters.

 

[Sorceress]

As I stated in the other thread (about respect for the HMs and their friends and family), it goes to far when there are attacks based on race, gender, sex, sexuality, family situation, disability, and appearance. Those aren't things they can exactly change. As much as I have seen with this season of BBAU (particularly in relation to the appearance of some HMs), it is nothing to what has been happening on US BB15, which I had to stop watching, because it was really uncomfortable to see.

Also, which I may get flack for, I really don't like, and think it goes to far, when people throw around terms like "whore" and "slut". For me, they are inherently misogynistic. I don't think being more liberal sexually is something that should be criticized. Thus, someone who cheated should be criticized for the cheating, not for liking/wanting sex or affection. (I have the same issue with men using the term "bitch" but that would be way off topic.) The situation with Tully and Drew (if it is even real) has gone too far. Especially as most of the people commenting on the situation do not know either Tully or Tahlia.

On the other side, I know they have put themselves in this position, so attacks on personality and/or actions are too be expected. In the end you are on t.v., being seen by the public and should expect some negative comments.

Those two terms are, I believe over the top and possibly in bad taste, however they've been warranted and such a housemate that acts in this fashion should be prepared for this sort of thing.

The only time I believe this forum has truly gone too far is with descriptions of Heidi or Kate.
Some of what I read about Kate last year disgusted me, and these were regular, normally level headed posters contributing as well.
Heidi and Kate are vile creatures because of their personalities, not their appearance.

 

[jooles_x]

As I stated in the other thread (about respect for the HMs and their friends and family), it goes to far when there are attacks based on race, gender, sex, sexuality, family situation, disability, and appearance. Those aren't things they can exactly change. As much as I have seen with this season of BBAU (particularly in relation to the appearance of some HMs), it is nothing to what has been happening on US BB15, which I had to stop watching, because it was really uncomfortable to see.

Also, which I may get flack for, I really don't like, and think it goes to far, when people throw around terms like "whore" and "slut". For me, they are inherently misogynistic. I don't think being more liberal sexually is something that should be criticized. Thus, someone who cheated should be criticized for the cheating, not for liking/wanting sex or affection. (I have the same issue with men using the term "bitch" but that would be way off topic.) The situation with Tully and Drew (if it is even real) has gone too far. Especially as most of the people commenting on the situation do not know either Tully or Tahlia.

On the other side, I know they have put themselves in this position, so attacks on personality and/or actions are too be expected. In the end you are on t.v., being seen by the public and should expect some negative comments.

I completely agree with everything in this post. Except about the word "bitch", which is about the same level as "dick", or the gender-neutral "asshole". They're all even, imo, and have very similar meanings. A perfect example of "bitch" is Tully promising Jade not to divulge her secret then immediately telling Drew and Tim -- there's no better word to describe that behaviour than bitchy. But just casually calling someone "bitch" for no reason, even in a 'positive' way like "I love that bitch", especially when referring to a group of women as "bitches" just smacks of misogyny, and makes me uncomfortable.

I once had a guy friend casually call me "slut" instead of using my name, and it's that sort of thing I'm talking about. It's just awkward; it didn't make him look cool and edgy like he'd hoped, just socially awkward in a really embarassing way.

But yeah, it's really cheap to attack someone based on something they can't change; gender, sexuality, appearance, anything.

 

[Syriana1217]

I completely agree with everything in this post. Except about the word "bitch", which is about the same level as "dick", or the gender-neutral "asshole". They're all even, imo, and have very similar meanings. A perfect example of "bitch" is Tully promising Jade not to divulge her secret then immediately telling Drew and Tim -- there's no better word to describe that behaviour than bitchy. But just casually calling someone "bitch" for no reason, even in a 'positive' way like "I love that bitch", especially when referring to a group of women as "bitches" just smacks of misogyny, and makes me uncomfortable.

I once had a guy friend casually call me "slut" instead of using my name, and it's that sort of thing I'm talking about. It's just awkward; it didn't make him look cool and edgy like he'd hoped, just socially awkward in a really embarassing way.

But yeah, it's really cheap to attack someone based on something they can't change; gender, sexuality, appearance, anything.

I guess I don't mind the term bitch as much when women use it, but, for me at least, I can't stand when men use the term as it implies they are trying "to put women in their place". Kind of like criticizing a woman for not behaving as he thinks she should.

However, I will stop here, as this is something I could ramble about for ages, haha. Also, I am from the U.S. so there is quite possibly a cultural difference, as I noticed when I lived in the UK for a bit, words carry different weights despite speaking the same language!

 

[Gemini]

It crosses the line for me when BBB hate mongers form pack hate mentalities to spew abuse and insults towards a housemate, while publicly slapping each other on the back celebrating each others personal vitriolic insults towards their targeted housemate. I hated a pack mentality in school and I hate a pack mentality as an adult. It saddens me to see how the Hate Pack talk about Tully. It goes so beyond the realm of normal to me. And when I read the nasty insults directed at Heidi, it makes me sad for Team Female. Heidi is a normal looking woman with some attractive attributes who sometimes behaves badly. She is not a Jade or a Tahan, she is a normal representation of female, and when she says something posters in here don't like, they attack her by calling her the nastiest names, it makes so mad sometimes I just have to log out.

For me, I like the housemates - all of them, I have more of a problem with the hate mongering BBB posters.

So you have issues with a perceived pack mentality against Tully and Heidi on social media, yet you condone the fact that both of those housemates are obviously trying to create a pack mentality against a couple of housemates themselves?

You can't sit there and accuse viewers of doing something (which I don't think is happening at all anyway), but then act as if it's okay that Heidi and particularly Tully are doing it themselves within the house. Double standards.

 

[tiarne]

It's okay to have your opinion about a housemate and express said opinion but when it's in a violent way such as some of the people on the Official BB Facebook page saying "if I ever met Tully I would punch her in the fucking face" and "Tully needs medication" are taking it a bit far and are not only offensive to her but also a derogatory comment to those who may be on medication for mental health issues. I don't have an issue with people saying she's a bitch or she needs to leave or she's a cheat or whatever because like people have said, she chose to be in the house knowing full well that she will be judged.

She seems like the type of girl to have a lot of friends on the outside which is why she can't cope with all the hate from Australia with the 'boos' etc. I think she's going to have a very hard time reading what has been said about her once she is out

 

[littlebear]

So you have issues with a perceived pack mentality against Tully and Heidi on social media, yet you condone the fact that both of those housemates are obviously trying to create a pack mentality against a couple of housemates themselves?

You can't sit there and accuse viewers of doing something (which I don't think is happening at all anyway), but then act as if it's okay that Heidi and particularly Tully are doing it themselves within the house. Double standards.

Just to chime in, being in the house and just watching the show are two completely different things. And the degree of investment some viewers seem to have in hating certain HMs can at times seem way out of proportion given that fact. It's not the mere fact of bitching or complaining about them--that seems like totally fair game--but the *level* of intensity and vitriol that can sometimes be a little disturbing.

 

[Syriana1217]

Those two terms are, I believe over the top and possibly in bad taste, however they've been warranted and such a housemate that acts in this fashion should be prepared for this sort of thing.

The only time I believe this forum has truly gone too far is with descriptions of Heidi or Kate.
Some of what I read about Kate last year disgusted me, and these were regular, normally level headed posters contributing as well.
Heidi and Kate are vile creatures because of their personalities, not their appearance.

I guess from my view, there is no such thing as a whore or a slut. There are just people who want lots of sex/attention, some who want a little, and some who want none. Calling someone names because they want lots of sex/attention names is just as bad as calling someone who want none. I guess, I don't understand why it is okay to criticize people for how much or little they want, when it has zero effect on someone else.

Yes, it is like getting second-hand embarrassment watching people go for people who clearly have not interest in them but that doesn't mean they should be called a whore.

 

[Gemini]

Just to chime in, being in the house and just watching the show are two completely different things. And the degree of investment some viewers seem to have in hating certain HMs can at times seem way out of proportion given that fact. It's not the mere fact of bitching or complaining about them--that seems like totally fair game--but the *level* of intensity and vitriol that can sometimes be a little disturbing.

I obviously know that they are completely different, however that doesn't excuse the blatant hypocrisy. The post that I was responding to implied that the poster did not like seeing a hate pack formed against Tully (or Heidi). Well as a viewer of the show I don't particularly like seeing Tully and Heidi trying to create a hate pack against Tim, Jade or Mikkalyla.

I also don't think that there is a "hate pack" against any of the housemates from viewers. I think we need to remember here that there is a big difference between having an opinion and just hating someone because everyone else does. To me Tully in particular has shown as excessive amount of painful characteristics. They started from day dot and have steadily gotten a lot worse culminating in her cheating on her partner on national television. I don't think it's hard to say that a lot of others would also strongly dislike watching someone who is displaying these traits. So really, is there a "hate pack"? Or does it just seem like there is a "pack" because so many viewers feel the same way about her?

I must add though that I don't really see what people write about her on mediums such as Facebook, but if you're referring to this forum then I think the hate pack assumption is completely wrong.

 

[littlebear]

I've seen other posters get attacked for expressing differing/minority opinions--what kind of person must you be to support a whore, etc. That seems like part and parcel of a pack mentality to me.

 

[starry]

The big hyprocrisy to me is that some of the audience of Big Brother (anywhere) say they hate some HMs and yet they obsess over them, post a great deal about them, the show for them is mainly about them. So they actually like them in a way, they love to hate them. But they can't bring themselves to admit that.

And people certainly hype up what happens in the house ridiculously, don't consider the pressurised confined circumstances and make endless speculations about people's lives outside the house.

 

[Gemini]

I've seen other posters get attacked for expressing differing/minority opinions--what kind of person must you be to support a whore, etc. That seems like part and parcel of a pack mentality to me.

To be honest I've heard the exact same thing said to a poster for supporting Jade. I don't think that automatically means that there is a hate pack, just that some posters could probably learn how to express their opinion of the housemate without attacking other posters in the process.