DigitalCorp
Always Watching
Don't know how popular NBA basketball is in Australia, but here goes anyway. LeBron James is a flopper. He falls down on the ground a lot in order to pick up calls. I have suggested that LeBron pick up ballet so he can stay on his feet more often. To that end, I have mailed out three letters to the Los Angeles Lakers organization. Obviously, I will not doxx myself.
To the Lakers:
Dear Los Angeles Lakers,
With the NBA’s return to NBC, I’ve taken a renewed interest in professional basketball. Your franchise, as one of the sport’s most storied, naturally draws national attention — for both its triumphs and its theatrics.
In the interest of improving performance and restoring some of the Lakers’ once-great reputation, I’d like to make a serious (though slightly unconventional) suggestion: have your players take up ballet.
Ballet training is widely recognized for enhancing athletic performance. It builds core strength, flexibility, balance, and coordination — all qualities that translate directly to better court movement, body control, and injury prevention. Hall of Famer Lynn Swann credited ballet for his success, and even former Laker Shaquille O’Neal has spoken about how ballet improved his footwork during your championship years.
I bring this up because your current roster, talented as it is, has earned a reputation for flopping — particularly LeBron James, whose gravity-defying dramatics have become almost theatrical. The constant falling detracts from the beauty of the game and sets a poor example for younger athletes.
A focused ballet or martial-arts program could address this issue while improving the team’s overall grace and control. I say this not as mockery but as a basketball fan who wants to see the Lakers lead the league in athleticism, not dramatics.
I hope this suggestion will be taken in the spirit intended — as encouragement to elevate the standard of play and restore some dignity to a proud franchise. I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter and await your reply.
Sincerely,
DigitalCorp
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To Coach Redick:
Dear Coach Redick,
Congratulations on your new role leading one of basketball’s most legendary franchises. I admire your intellect, communication skills, and deep understanding of the modern game.
That said, the Lakers’ current image problem — particularly the frequent flopping, especially by your star player LeBron James — continues to hold the team back from embodying the professionalism and respect the organization deserves.
I’d like to suggest something unconventional but time-tested: ballet training.
Ballet builds balance, agility, and core strength, improving movement precision and reducing injury risk. Lynn Swann and Shaquille O’Neal both praised ballet for giving them a competitive edge. Given your analytical background, I’m confident you can appreciate how developing control over one’s center of gravity can refine on-court performance and eliminate unnecessary theatrics.
It would also send a strong message to your team — that skill, balance, and integrity matter more than embellishment. You have the opportunity to set a new tone for this generation of Lakers: disciplined, intelligent, and composed. I am eager to hear your thoughts and would appreciate a reply. Thank you for your time.
Wishing you success this season,
DigitalCorp
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To LeBron himself:
Dear Mr. James,
You are, without question, one of the most gifted athletes in the history of basketball. However, your legacy is being weighed down by something other than championship rings — gravity itself.
To put it plainly: you fall down too much. They call you “LeFlop.”
I understand basketball is a physical game, but the constant flopping has become a running joke across the league. A player of your caliber shouldn’t need theatrics to earn respect or calls.
So here’s my challenge, sir: take up ballet.
Ballet sharpens balance, builds strength, and teaches total control of movement. Lynn Swann used it; Shaquille O’Neal swore by it. If they could do it, so can you — and frankly, the image of LeBron James mastering ballet would make sports history for all the right reasons.
You’ve already redefined what it means to be an athlete. Why not redefine grace, too? If you want to surpass peak Michael Jordan — the standard of disciplined dominance — then let that evolution begin with control, not collapse. I’d be interested in your thoughts and would eagerly await a reply. Thank you for your time.
Respectfully,
DigitalCorp
To the Lakers:
Dear Los Angeles Lakers,
With the NBA’s return to NBC, I’ve taken a renewed interest in professional basketball. Your franchise, as one of the sport’s most storied, naturally draws national attention — for both its triumphs and its theatrics.
In the interest of improving performance and restoring some of the Lakers’ once-great reputation, I’d like to make a serious (though slightly unconventional) suggestion: have your players take up ballet.
Ballet training is widely recognized for enhancing athletic performance. It builds core strength, flexibility, balance, and coordination — all qualities that translate directly to better court movement, body control, and injury prevention. Hall of Famer Lynn Swann credited ballet for his success, and even former Laker Shaquille O’Neal has spoken about how ballet improved his footwork during your championship years.
I bring this up because your current roster, talented as it is, has earned a reputation for flopping — particularly LeBron James, whose gravity-defying dramatics have become almost theatrical. The constant falling detracts from the beauty of the game and sets a poor example for younger athletes.
A focused ballet or martial-arts program could address this issue while improving the team’s overall grace and control. I say this not as mockery but as a basketball fan who wants to see the Lakers lead the league in athleticism, not dramatics.
I hope this suggestion will be taken in the spirit intended — as encouragement to elevate the standard of play and restore some dignity to a proud franchise. I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter and await your reply.
Sincerely,
DigitalCorp
---------------------------
To Coach Redick:
Dear Coach Redick,
Congratulations on your new role leading one of basketball’s most legendary franchises. I admire your intellect, communication skills, and deep understanding of the modern game.
That said, the Lakers’ current image problem — particularly the frequent flopping, especially by your star player LeBron James — continues to hold the team back from embodying the professionalism and respect the organization deserves.
I’d like to suggest something unconventional but time-tested: ballet training.
Ballet builds balance, agility, and core strength, improving movement precision and reducing injury risk. Lynn Swann and Shaquille O’Neal both praised ballet for giving them a competitive edge. Given your analytical background, I’m confident you can appreciate how developing control over one’s center of gravity can refine on-court performance and eliminate unnecessary theatrics.
It would also send a strong message to your team — that skill, balance, and integrity matter more than embellishment. You have the opportunity to set a new tone for this generation of Lakers: disciplined, intelligent, and composed. I am eager to hear your thoughts and would appreciate a reply. Thank you for your time.
Wishing you success this season,
DigitalCorp
-------------
To LeBron himself:
Dear Mr. James,
You are, without question, one of the most gifted athletes in the history of basketball. However, your legacy is being weighed down by something other than championship rings — gravity itself.
To put it plainly: you fall down too much. They call you “LeFlop.”
I understand basketball is a physical game, but the constant flopping has become a running joke across the league. A player of your caliber shouldn’t need theatrics to earn respect or calls.
So here’s my challenge, sir: take up ballet.
Ballet sharpens balance, builds strength, and teaches total control of movement. Lynn Swann used it; Shaquille O’Neal swore by it. If they could do it, so can you — and frankly, the image of LeBron James mastering ballet would make sports history for all the right reasons.
You’ve already redefined what it means to be an athlete. Why not redefine grace, too? If you want to surpass peak Michael Jordan — the standard of disciplined dominance — then let that evolution begin with control, not collapse. I’d be interested in your thoughts and would eagerly await a reply. Thank you for your time.
Respectfully,
DigitalCorp