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THE VIRUS 2020 - the good, the bad, and the ugly

...Day 11 of ‘self isolation’lockdown:... today I had a little time on my hands so I decided to write a POEM!... that’s right… a poem!... I bet that you didn’t think that you’re old Uncle Sticky had it in him did you?... well here it is in all of its glory!... it’s about the importance of self grooming during the dastardly Coronavirus and it's really unexpected but pleasureable side effect!... so here we go… I’ve called it:...


The importance of self grooming during the dastardly Coronavirus and it’s really unexpected but pleasureable side effect!

...I’m at home because of the friggin’ Coronavirus…
...the bitch next door is playing Miley Cyrus..
...instead of going over and threatening to hurt her…
...or even worse… in committing murder…..
...I’ve decided instead to prevent what’s looming…
...to indulge instead in some personal grooming…

...because I’m 67 years old I’m getting quite hairy…
...I’m starting to look so very very scarey!...
…I grabbed my shaver and shaved my balding head...
…”you look like Hannibal Lecter!” It’s often been said…
...then I started on my face which I’m told isn’t pretty…
...I can’t help that so don’t show me your pity!...

...as I did my face I saw some nasal hairs in my nose…
…I thought to myself “I’ll do them too I suppose!”...
...when blowflies die they go up an old mans snout…
...you know because you see their hairy legs hanging out…
...I found my nasal clippers and shaved them really quick…
...being very careful not to hurt my newly shaven top lip…

...now let me have a good look… what’s left to do?...
...of course!... my ears!... I’ve gotta do them too!...
...I figured that my nasal clippers would work on them aswell...
...if you’re not supposed to use it on them… what the hell!...
...I started on my ears and can hear your sarcasm…
...I pushed it in too far and nearly had an orgasm!...

...the vibration in my ear really rattled my brain…
…”hm!... I might just have to do that all over again!”...
...as I did it a second time it made me shiver…
...I did it over and over until it made me quiver!...
...I decided that I’d had enough of this weird little pleasure…
...but it’s a new discovery that I will always treasure!...

…who would ever think grooming could be such fun!...
...I’ve got a hairy arse but that’s not even in the run!...
...I know in these times we’ve gotta find things to do..
...that is why I’ve told this story to all of you…
...but self grooming can be fun in a certain way…
...just don’t let it take up your entire day!...

...people may think that I’m going quite mad…
...self isolation can be fun and make you glad!...
...they say only two people can be together at one time…
...but what of the ten other voices in my mind?...
...can I be arrested because the law is being abused?...
… I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I’M SO CONFUSED!.


".................................THE END

...well there you have it… ‘self grooming’ does have some benefits for your best chance of survival during this dastardly Coronavirus outbreak my friends… make sure that you practice it!...

...just consider it as my part of a ‘public announcement’ to make it all easier for our chance of survival at the moment if you like!... what do you mean my sweet darling wife?... “you’re going mad you idiot!”... me?... going mad?... I’m going to tell this bunch of celery you said that… they’re my newest best friends at the moment!... mad indeed!...cheers.
 
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New Zealand has released its coronavirus modelling, showing the country is facing between 12,600 and 33,600 deaths, with 6.8 per cent of the country's population requiring hospitalisation, due to the coronavirus.
If extrapolated to Australia, the figures suggest between 65,000 and 174,000 deaths, and 1.74 million hospitalisations. That extrapolation assumes the numbers are directly comparable - an assumption that has not been confirmed by authorities on either side of the Tasman.

The modelling shows how quickly hospitals could be overrun, and explains the thinking behind New Zealand's lockdown. It also gives insight into why Australia has imposed increasingly severe measures to prevent the spread of the virus.
New Zealand health authorities based their "plan-for" scenario on Australian modelling, their report said.

Australian authorities have so far refused to release their data, but deputy chief medical officer Paul Kelly said the work would be "unlocked" later this week. He did not give futher details.
 
Awesome.......how did you get that job? I would love to do that.

Um...I’m autistic and have a brain full of useless knowledge, extremely detailed and accurate long-term memory, am good with words and I LOVE puzzles,’trivia, language, history, pop culture etc etc which helps a great deal. I discovered freelance writing ages ago while studying, and found out through seeing projects posted on various platforms/job boards/communities that writing trivia questions & puzzles etc was a ‘thing’. So I did a lot of googling of companies that run trivia nights, digital publishers, app developers etc and got in touch with them directly. I still do this from time to time as new companies and opportunities pop up. I still look at Upwork very occasionally (most clients pay peanuts but I got a $30/hour project recently so it’s not all bad) but now most of my work comes from repeat clients and word of mouth.
 
I don't get why a lot of people are self-isolating for 2 weeks. The 2 week guideline is aimed at people who have returned from international travel. 'Normal' people should be taking less extreme precautions that they can maintain long-term. Either plan to self-isolate (apart from a one-person trip to the supermarket) for as long as it takes, or don't bother. What is the point of self-isolating for 2 weeks and then releasing yourself back into society again?
And on that trip to the supermarket, if you're lucky enough to find toilet paper or hand sanitiser, take ONE and leave some for everyone else. That way, just possibly, there will be some there next time you need it.
To manage any possible risk of second hand exposure and infection from a direct risk (international travellers), prevent any subsequent risk of spread to cohorts, and create a control baseline with two clear weeks ? .... well, based on what the public is currently told/known.
 
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...the current shortage of toilet paper made me think of a rhyme that we used to say when I was about 10 years old... in it’s day it was considered to be very rude... hence why as 10 year olds kept repeating it over and over again!... lol... here is how it went...


in the days of old
when Knights were bold
toilet paper wasn’t invented
so they wiped their arse
on a patch of grass
and then walked away contented



...to think that then it was considered to be very rude because it had the word ‘arse’ in it makes me laugh now and makes me now realise just how times have changed lol!... yet we STILL have no toilet paper to this day lol!... cheers.
 
OMG. THE GOOD
Can’t believe it......I just did a HUGE shop at Aldi
Huge because they had almost EVERYTHING
1st time I have seen such a well stocked store in over a month
Went for a quick purchase of dishwasher stuff, hoping
They had so many goodies filled a trolley
Few missing items, no toilet paper

And any open shops are heavily discounting stock......all the Easter stuff, chocolates etc half price
Chadstone....

THE BAD
All these people at home, found a way to pass the time
Bastards have sucked up all the weed.....as rare as toilet paper
 
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...so!... those people that have been on holidays or whatever from overseas that are now confined to FIVE STAR hotels that are whinging and whining about being confined to their ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐️ rooms... TOUGH SHIT!... stop whinging and whining you ungrateful pricks!... what about the homeless street people and the people visiting the Wayside Chapel soup kitchens every day?...

...perhaps the Government should kick you out of the ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐️ rooms and make you swap with them you ungrateful little shits!... I’m sure that the homeless wouldn’t be complaining about it!... perhaps the homeless should start coughing and sneezing a bit so as to get such luxury accommodation... stop complaining!... you ungrateful fuckers!... geez!... the fucking hide of some people!... cheers.
 
Nothing wrong with them complaining. They might have some very valid points.

...I don’t give a fuck about their ‘valid’ points... boo fucking hoo!...the ungrateful shits should be grateful for having to stay in ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐️ accomodation and not some sleazy shithole while they await for the end of the quarantine lockdown!... if I was the Prime Minister and heard them complaining I would put them all on an island and let the ‘Lord of the Flies‘ thing happen!... the ungrateful shits!... there are so many people either old people or homeless people that are so much worse off than they are!... they have no right to complain as far as I’m concerned...

...”boo hoo!... I can’t leave my room... I can’t go outside!”... well guess what?... some bedridden invalids can’t either every fucking day of their lives because they are unable to without having any choice in the matter!... so they can shove their ‘valid’ points up their arses as far as I’m concerned reepbot my friend... cheers.
 
Why are some returned travellers scattered across city hotels?

There should be one isolation location for each city that is not close to a busy area with potentially high pedestrian movement.
 
I don't know, I think they have a right to complain. They are after all living in some very trying and unusual circumstances. Some compassion and understanding wouldn't hurt.


...no not with me I’m afraid reepbot my friend... no compassion or understanding whatsoever... in pre-Coronavirus days people would pay big money to stay somewhere like that... being told that they’re going to have to stay in those rooms is not an over asking task to have to stay in there...besides... what could they possibly complain about?... so you’re stuck in a luxurious high end room (with no doubt... views to kill for) that you would normally pay thousands of dollars for the privilage for but the only provision is that you have to stay in the damn room!... again... what could they possibly complain about when so many people have nowhere to stay at all?... nah!... definitely no sympathy from me my friend!... cheers.
 
Perceivedly warranted or not, it's obviously an expression of shock adjustment to the loss of personnal freedom.

Maybe the government is diversifying the risk...by spreading it around to where there are good immediate options for secure and reliable management in consideration of numbers and responsive logistics.

I'm not sure where would be a single good place for a Covid incubator (Alice Springs ?) at short notice...especially considering on ground resource is concurrently being poured into madly arranging hospital beds and upscaling of the health system to be able to deal with the thousands of infectious cases that are about to materialise. (e.g preparation of Melb Convention Centre).
 
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