The Launch

Cue the credits. Mike welcomes us to Big Brother 2006 with the crowd all cheering. Cut to a clip package of people on the street hoping that Big Brother will be mean. Then Vesna says that it was the hardest thing she has ever done in her life. Reggie explains how once they are in they will be for so many suprises. Cut to another clip package of the housemates each talking. Tilli says she is so excited about going in simply because hardly anyone gets the chance too. Some guy says he can’t wait just to have fun. Cut away to Paul from BB3 saying that “if you think it’ll be a walk in the park, your horribly mistaken.” One of them things that BB is actually a little pussie cat! Tim from BB5 says that BB will put the pressure on even harder when he sees people starting to crack. Two new housemates think that BB won’t be too harsh. Big Brother does a voiceover and says only one thing is for sure, and with that, Mike welcomes Gretel. She’s in Black pants, Black and White shirt, Black vest and an orange tie. She asks the crowd if they are ready. Huge scream. Gretel explains that the rainbow promos have caused people to think that the whole house will be gay. She mentions the old rumour of the nun going into the house. Gretel says that BBAU has had many world firsts. She goes onto explain the basic premise of Big Brother. She explains that the drama has already begun because one housemate won’t be entering the house. But she won’t go into it. She explains that 15 housemates are going in. Cut to clip package of the auditions. Near the end they do a nice little skit with Gretel trying to woo the producers. It, naturally, doesn’t work.

Back to Gretel who reveals a world first. She tells us that two of the housemates are in a relationship. She doesn’t say what the relationship is however. It could be good, could be bad. Anyway, bring on the first housemate. It’s Michael. He says he’ll do anything to win a million dollars in his clip package. Michael is a 25 year old male from New South Wales. He is a bouncer and is studying political science. He says he is single, never rings any of his girlfriends, and pays his own rent. He rings his mother every single day. He says he would like to work for a political party, any one, he doesn’t care. He says his worst enemy would call him an arrogant selfish pig. He says he holds grudges, but doesn’t do anything about it. He says he gets on better with guys simply because every girl he meets he wants to play kiss and catch with. Michael says his worst habits are cheating, and his denial of cheating. He ends with the promise to take Big Brother on. Gretel welcomes him to the stage. Gretel says he’s cuter in real life. Michael says he’s never been in a relationship when Gretel questions him about cheating. He tells Gretel he has a strategy, but isn’t going to tell anyone. Even Gretel’s compliments don’t work. Down the plank he goes and through the crowd. The plank actually has plasma screens on it this year and has the words BIG BROTHER going over and over. Gretel now decides to show us the house. Steve the cameraman has the gig again, and in we go. We enter in the backyard. Astroturf looks hideous. Gretel tells us about the Japanese garden. Swimming pool has floating thongs off to the left. Dining room is a long skiny room with 16 places, and the store door down the end of the room. Come back to see the kitchen, which has brooms hanging up on the wall. Into the bedroom we go. Cow theme, the pole is in there. 3 double beds on the right with a toilet, 5 double beds on the left hand side. Go down the end of the left hand side and it’s the bathroom. Has a line of ducks up along the shower screen ledge. Sauna is there, as well as a massage chair. Out of the bedroom and into the living room. Shocking colour couch. Plasma on the wall. Directly behind the couch is the punishment room. To the left of the couch is the diary room. Bone kind of colour chair. Back outside and we’ve got a covered patio kind of section with some chairs and tables and a barbeque, and further to the left a covered gym. Further left we’ve got a few steps to a secret room, and over on the right, a hottub. And that is it! Now, back to Michael, who is going through final checks. Finally, he’s into the waiting room. A good 30 seconds of silence as he walks around the room. Comm break!

Back to launch night. Straight into it again, as we meet the second housemate. She’s an attention seeker, and a nail biter. It’s Camilla.

Camilla is a 22 year old female from Victoria and a nightclub worker. She wears her heart on her sleeve, a little gullable. She likes a good debate. She was born in South Africa and lived there until she was 13. She says her family thinks she is loud and that she is messy. She never finishes anything she starts, and can’t keep still for more than 10 minutes. She says she is a chronic cheater. She likes to live hard and die young. She now enters the stage. Gretel welcomes her, and she says she is nervous. She says she’s never been in this extreme situation. Camilla doesn’t want to win, shes in it for the experience. She says she has cheated on her partners, but she’s single so it won’t be an issue. She says she probably won’t find love in the house, but shes up for it if so. Off through the crowd Camilla goes.

Straight onto the next housemate. He’s a carpernter, exotic dancer and has a strong need for affection. It’s Gaelan. Gaelan is a 26 year old male and works as a carpenter. He lives in Victoria. He likens himself to a Greek god, because he thinks he has a good body. He says he is a part time model. His idol is David Beckham. He’s single, because ‘why have a book when you have a library.’ He says he’ll be a nuisance. He says he’ll bitch about people behind their back. Onto the stage he comes. Nice cheer for him. Gretel says he feels a bit gay. Gaelan says he’s not, but says there is a big crowd. Off the ramp he goes! Gretel says he looks fabulous. Anyway, back to the waiting room, and Michael is introduced to Camilla. They hug/kiss. Camilla says she was in the car behind all that time. She says she really needed to go to the toilet. Michael says he went in the woods! Cut back to Gretel for housemate number four, who has the attention span of a three year old.

It’s Katie. Katie is a 19 year old female from Western Australia. She works in promotions. Her car “Paris” is her most prized possession. She laughs every time she sees it. She likes the outdoors, her Pies in the footy, and surfing. She gets annoyed if her dad forgets the chicken on Fridays because she loves chicken and will eat the whole thing! She says she is way too high maintence. She says really hot guys she can’t talk to because she just goes gaah gaah. She wants to have sex before she dies. Onto the stage comes Katie. She checks her fly is up just as she comes out! She says she is good, but shaking. She hopes there’ll be hot guys in the house. She says she is saving herself for someone special. She doesn’t know if she’ll win or not, changing her mind five times. Gretel says ‘good girl’ and sends her on her way. Back to the house now as Gaelan enters.

Time now for the third female housemate. A single mother who’s committed to winning! It’s Karen. Karen is the oldest of the bunch, a 36 year old female from New South Wales. She works as a postal worker. She thinks her kids would see her as a little dysfunctional. Weet Bix can be common for dinner. She says she hates authority. She says she hates racist guys. She says because she has been married for so long, she has no idea how to flirt. She really wants to win! She comes out on stage, and looks great. She says she is so excited! She says she just goes with the flow. She says she has only just seperated. She’s looking for ‘the new me, not a new man’. Up through the crowd goes Karen!

Now Katie enters the waiting room! OOOAHHH all round! Katie says ‘how nuts is this’. They have a laugh about the frisking. Back to Gretel on the stage and it’s time for another housemate. A former international model who now is a farmer and is looking for a lifelong committment. It’s David. David is a 26 year old male from Queensland. He is a farmer/grazier. He says he is frustrated my the fact that he is hot and intelligent, but still single. His friends would say he’s reliable, but always late. When he looks in a mirror, he sees someone who needs a shower. He says he will always put his two bob in. He says he has never cheated on a relationship. He wants to find a partner. Onto the stage goes David. He says his is anxious. Five hours from Brisbane is where his farm is. He says he lives too far away to meet people. He’s going into the house to find love. Gretel tells him to look under the couch! Down the plank goes Dave, and it’s back to Karen entering the waiting room. Hello’s all round. Karen questions Gaelan’s name. The girls instantly connect and talk away. Back to Gretel, who cuts to a break.

Housemate number seven is up straight from the break. However, before that, Gretel reveals there is a vote tonight. Back to the housemates. This housemate is a lot like Snow White according to Gretel, looking for her Prince Charming. Her most prized possession is ballet shoes signed by ballet dancers. It’s Tilli! Tilli is a 19 year old female from South Australia. She is studying psychology. One word to describe Tilli is infectious. Her worst quality is she can be a bitch. She hates country people. Girls that think they are better than everyone, and guys who think they are gods gift to women she can’t stand. She says she is a drama queen, and that she loves to pick fights. Onto the stage she comes. She says she can’t explain how she feels. It’s unbelievable. She can’t stop shaking. She says she’ll chill out in the house, she’ll be cool. She says she’ll be a bitch in the house, and she wants to win! She says she doesn’t click with country people, but loves the country people who vote LOL. Off she goes, and back we go to the waiting room to see David gallop into the waiting room. A more relaxed entrance for David. The guys are still talking amongst themselves.

The next housemate is someone who moved to Australia at the age of seven. He’s a uni student, who holds a grudge and likes older women. It’s Dino. Dino is a 22 year old male from Victoria and is a business student. Dino says that others think he is perfect, but he’s not. Thats their problem he says. He lived in Bosnia and came to Australia as a refugee. He says he can tell if people are genuine. He says he jokes around 99% of the time. He says he’ll be the clown. He says he might win because people will really like him, and he doesn’t think there is any other way to win it. He comes onto the stage and says he’s nervous. He went into the lockdown with his mother so she could cook. Dino says she had fun. Dino has never lived with girls before. He thinks he’ll be alright in there, and wouldn’t mind winning. He’s off, so it’s Tilli’s turn. Seemmed like Katie might have known her, but maybe not. She gets offered a drink, before Gretel takes over again to introduce the next housemate.

The next one likes girls so much it might well be his downfall in the house. It’s John. John is a 20 year old male from Victoria and is a media/communications student. He says he hates over opinioned people, people who talk a load of crap. He says he’ll be nice to the girls though. He likes sport and music. He loves his hair the most. He likes to be loud and the centre of attention. He wants to be on BB for the money and the chicks. Onto the stage he comes. He says he loves his hair a lot. He puts surfboard wax in his hair. He says girls wouldn’t like it though. He tells Gretel he loves sport and girls, and his mates. He says he wants to win, but just out to have a good time. Through the crowd goes John, and Gretel wonders if we’ve met the two in a relationship just yet. Cut to a clip package. Michael says he hasn’t cried in 5 years, Katie says she crys at a drop of a hat, even watching Oprah. David says he crys at the cinema. Tilli would turn on the water works to gain symphathy. Comm break!

Back from the break. Over to Dino who joins the rest of the housemates. Gaelan and Dino seem to know each other. Back to Gretel who explains that the next housemate burps, farts and whinges. But she’s beautiful, and guys always dump her. It’s Anna.

Anna is a 20 year old female from Victoria and is a personal assistant/promotions model. She explains that she can be seen as a pyscho bitch, a bimbo and a showpony, but deep down a great friend. She says she has always had a short temper. She uses her looks to get into places all the time, to get boys she wants etc. She says she doesn’t like good looking girls. She says she has been left with a broken heart too many times, but she loves boys. She says she’ll be fantastic in the house. Anna comes out on the stage. Such a low cut dress! She say she is very excited, but seems pretty composed. Gretel mentions that she shouldn’t jump around that much in her top. She says shes just a nice little girl. Off she goes. Cut to the house where John meets the fellow housemates. He knows Camilla, saying they’ve already had a disco pash! He introduces himself as Michael, so thats obviously his real name. Anyway, back to the stage.

The next housemate can be described as irritating, but caring. He has a single lifestyle, and he reckons it’s “sick.” It’s Ashley. Ashley is a 20 year old male from Western Australia and works as a bricklayer. He says he had a bad childhood, and he thinks he’s a better person because of it. He says he’s straight down the line in everything he does. The topic he knows more about than anyone is V8s. He just loves them. He also loves 10 Pin Bowling. He says he has cried with women. If someone crosses paths with him inside, he’ll bring it straight up. Ashley comes out on stage. He says he is thinking about all these people. He’s open to the challenge. He has a saying “you know it”. He’s off through the crowd, and we cut to Anna entering the waiting room. David has the greatest look on his face as he sees a girl entering with hardly anything on. Seems that Anna knows Camilla as well. Comm break.

Back from the break, and Gretel tells us that two suprises are still to be revealed. The next housemate is a committed meat eater and has never been in love. It’s Elise. Elise is a 21 year old female from New South Wales. She is a student and a financial analyst. She says it’s time for a Aussie Asian to be on the show. She came from China when she was five. She is an only child, and doesn’t think she is spoilt. She wants to have her own corporation. She is annoyed by people who come to Australia and don’t want to be an Australian. She loves a barbeque and a meat pie. She says she’s going to outdrink the boys, and outdress the girls! Welcome to the stage Elise. She says she is great. She says she is very ambitious, but needs some time up before finishing uni. She says she’s just taking off this semester, but hopefully lasts the journey. Off she goes.

Ashley goes into the waiting room. Katie seems to know Ashley. Normal meet and greets go on after that. Back to the stage where Gretel tells us the next housemate is a straight A student and a animal lover. Gretel wonders if she is as straight as she sounds!? It’s Claire. Claire is a 22 year old female from Queensland. She is a animal keeper of big cats. She says her sisters describe her as the straight age sister. No drinks, no drugs, no meat and no loving. She has played state and national netball. She’s also got first class honours in a wildlife reproduction course. When shes out her best pick up line is that she works with big cats. She loves her animals and doesn’t like opening up to many people. She says she’ll never have children. She says shes a vegetairian, but would eat a steak for $1 million. She says she has what it takes to win. Claire comes onto the stage, and she’s well. She prefers animals to people. Very quick interview and she’s off too.

Back to the waiting room now, as Elise enters. The girls seemed to have gone off by themselves again. Back to Gretel, who says the next housemate has lived in at least 20 different houses and is smart, caring and intelligent. It’s Krystal. Krystal is a 19 year old female from New South Wales. She works as an assistant manager in retail. She says she has had a gypsy family. Eight different schools. Her best feature is her belly, but now her boobs, because they are new. She’s not afraid to do anything. Ideally she wants oppourtunities when she comes out of the house, hopefully on TV. She can see straight through liars, and she will be the centre of attention in the house. Gretel asks Krystal her age as she enters the stage. She says 19. Gretel wonders why the boob job, and she says she just wanted them a little bigger. You can guess what someone in the crowd yelled out that got a huge laugh. She says they were meant to make her feel better. She says she’ll be fine in the house. No tricks, she’ll just be herself. Off she goes across the bridge.

Back to the house as Claire enters. Girls and guys still seperated. Back to Gretel, who has one last housemate to go. But thats after the break.

Straight into the last housemate. He’s sporty, funny and makes his own jewellery. It’s Jamie. Jamie is a 22 year old male from Western Australia. He works as personal trainer. He says he’s eccentric, with lots of strange habits. He hates his parents are forcing him to get a proper job when all he wants to do is sleep in. He says he is vain, and walks in front of security cameras so he can see himself. He says he can get people to do anything. He says he could be the perfect C grade celebrity. He comes out on stage now. He says he has a few butterflies. He says it’s not an ordinary situation. He says he can get girls to do anything, but says he shouldn’t have said that in the clip package. Off he goes, and thats it.

Time now to see Krystal see her new best friends. Camera focuses on Karen A LOT! Elise seems to know her from somewhere. Jamie must have flown over, because he’s there already. Ashley and Jamie seem to know each other quite well. Back to Gretel though, as she explains perhaps people met at auditions or even just because they live in the same city. Back to the waiting room, and BB announces that the housemates will enter the house shortly. Comm break.

Gretel is in the control room when we rejoin her. She repeats the rumour that a couple of people are in a relationship. Back to the waiting room first though, as BB lets them enter the house. A heap of “oh my gods”. They make their way into the living room and seem to think the diary room is the glass punishment room. They try to enter the bedroom but can’t. Outside the guys check out the hot tub. Dino and Ashley are hanging out. David joins them. Dino shotguns the barbeque. Later, Claire says to Dave she’s in a dream world. She wonders if there is a second level.

Back inside, Krystal is talking to Ashley. Ash says he’s a builder, so ‘this is awesome’. Krystal says she just works at a surf shop. Ashley says he used to work at Kmart. Back outside, four of the guys are congratulating themselves on making it. Over near the gym, Katie, Krystal and Anna are also saying how nuts it feels. Krystal says she is an only child. The girls think Camilla will hook up with someone. David and Ashley talk about Jamie’s muscle. Ashley seems to know more about Jamie than Jamie. The girls start waving to Ashley, Michael and David.

BB interrupts and tells them the bedroom is open. Tilli is first in there and there is lots of screams etc. Michael wanders into the bathroom first, followed by Anna. She finds the toilets. They find the sauna, and Michael tries to persuade Krystal to go in with him. Katie seems to drag her suitcase over to Jamie’s bed. Dave says “crikey mate.” They decide on a swim, and Krystal looks like the first to go topless in the house. Karen says to Anna she is a bit scared getting changed. Anna thinks it’s better to get it over and done with. Back to Gretel. She tells us that Krystal is half of the relationship, the other is discovered after the break.

Still in the control room. Gretel explains that Krystal is related to Karen. Karen is Krystal’s mother. They must keep it a secret for a week. If they can, they are both immune from nomination the first week. If they can’t, they are up for eviction immediately. Back to the house. Karen shows some housemates her muscles. They then move onto touching her boobs. Inside, Anna asks Krystal when she got the boob job. She says eight weeks ago. She explains she was almost completely flat and that she’s now between a C and a D. Karen comes over and asks if she has got a boob job as well. Karen says she got hers eight weeks ago. Krystal suddenly changes to getting them done six or seven weeks ago. One of them says it cost $9000.

BB calls all housemates to the diary room. Once all inside, BB welcomes them. He reminds them to make the most of every minute. He also warns them that if rules are broken, they will be punished. And fined. BB tells them that from this moment on they will follow BB’s instruction or face the concequences. He then outlines the rules. When BB talks, they stop and listen. Ashley says OK. He gets a $5000 fine and $5 off the shopping budget. The rules continue. You always refer to Big Brother as Big Brother. Talking without microphones or wearing a microphone incorrectly will result in a fine. Only speak in English, no code or sign language. No writing in the house on any surface. All tasks are compulsory. Each week you must nominate housemates for eviction, and you must do so honestly. No discussions of nominations. You cannot intimidate or harass others. BB asks if there are any questions, and Jamie says “Thank you, older male sibling.” BB gives him a $5000 fine, and another $5 off the shopping budget. BB tells them they have already lost $10,000. BB tells them that it is their home, but it’s run by BB rules. Jamie swears, and gets another $5000 fine. BB tells them there are no more warnings, and then ‘that is all.’ Comm break.

Back with Gretel one last time for the night. Quick look at them eating dinner, while Gretel does a voiceover saying that BB wants an insider. She explains that 3 people have told BB they will do anything to win the prize. So the phone lines are open for the public to pick the ‘insider’. It’s between David, Camilla and Michael. Voting lines go up. Lines close on Monday at 6pm. Only SMS number offered.

Back to the house for the final time tonight. Michael says they are finally here, and they’ll talk about this forever. He’s talking to Jamie. David is talking to Camilla. He says it’s been six years since he’s had a serious relationship. He says it’s hard where he comes from, it’s a farming community. Camilla wonders if he would get back with his ex. He says that she has moved on, and he has too, so no. David says that the guy she is with now is perfect for her. Camilla thinks it’s nice that he can say that.

Krystal comes to the diary room to talk about her ‘task’ with Karen. She says it’s going pretty well, but almost gave it away at the start talking about where she lived. She thinks they can pull it off. She says the boob job thing didn’t make it easy. Back out to Karen, who is talking to Camilla. Karen explains her kids are staying with her mother and her sister. They are all supportive. Back in the diary room, Krystal thinks Karen is coping fine. But she doesn’t want to talk to her too much so she doesn’t looks weird. She says she is happy and just wanted to get some stuff off her chest.

Gretel tells us to tune in tomorrow night, and thats a wrap!

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It's usually pretty awkward when I tell strangers I run a website about Big Brother. I swear it's a healthy obsession.