BB09: The Rescue Plan

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OK, this season hasn’t been the best – in fact, it’s been a challenger for the worst, but at least since they reverted back to the original format it’s felt more like Big Brother again. Nominations, even more so than evictions, are the key part of the format and in the first few weeks of the series the show lost it’s soul. Also to be praised is the lack of Intruders – if we forget the gatecrashers, which I think we all have anyway.

However, if BB09 goes ahead the show needs to be given every chance to succeed – and that means more change is required.

TIME

Firstly, and most crucially, the time slot. The extended shows always perform significantly better after 7.30pm, and always seem far more popular too. So the first change is simple – move the weeknight shows to 7.30pm, extending them to an hour. And I’m in no doubt Ten could accommodate such a change considering nominations, midweek specials and FNL have filled the slot for years.

FNL

Talking of FNL, it’s an old one but it’s as relevant as ever – FNL is seriously over due a revamp. Firstly, axe Ryan so it’s no longer the BB boys club. Secondly, it’s slashed to an hour (8.30-9.30pm) so it’s straight to the point, rather than full of filler crap. And thirdly, it’s made with the Big Brother fan in mind, not their kids. Most importantly after four years of it being an individual competition the show is completely refocused with a new format and a renewed importance. The link with evictions is also removed.

LET BATTLE COMMENCE

What that change is depends on the series as a whole – and one tried and tested format would give both FNL, and Big Brother itself, the revamp it requires. Big Brother: The Battle – a revamped house, split into rich and poor, with up to 16 housemates split between the two sides. FNL then becomes the main “Battle” each week as the two sides of the house go head to head to claim their place on the rich side, with hot water, comfy beds and all the luxuries of the house, while the losers face the back to basics lifestyle – to the extreme.

The weekly task is also replaced by a series of ad-hoc challenges taking place randomly throughout the week either for rewards or for individual housemates to swap sides.

The format also allows for the nominations process to be revamped, and there are numerous ways it could be done. Each side of the house could nominate independently, with one from each side going head to head in the eviction vote. Other options include one side winning immunity, or perhaps linking it to the point system so the rich HMs nominations are worth 2 points and the poor HMs worth just the one. Or the nominations process could simply be left as it is, leaving the housemates themselves to decide how loyal to their own side of the house they are.

EVICTIONS

An absolute must – keep Mike Goldman as far away from them as physically possible. And they should certainly not bring back Gretel. Kyle and Jackie O have had the chance to bed in now and it’s important the show looks to the future, not too the past, so they should remain in charge next year. And them only being available one day a week has actually benefited the show this year, which hasn’t suffered from all the pointless midweek specials we had during Gretel’s final couple of years with the show.

And that’s the starting point to give BB09 a chance – it’s up to those paid to do the job to do the rest.

Any thoughts – comment on my userblog.

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Day 54 FNL

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Welcome to heavy metal night on Friday Night Live!

Once again, poor old Terrance is unable to compete in tonight’s games. After the HMs enter the arena, BB declares him tonight’s ‘groupie’, and gives him a blonde wig and some lippy to wear.

Round 1: Skid Row

This game was a skidding competition. Girls and boys competed separately. One by one, they had to make a run-up to a wet and slippery vinyl surface and slide as far along it as possible without shuffling their feet or losing their balance. The further they went, the more points they scored. Housemates got two skids each, with the two top scorers from each gender going through.

With the maximum number of points for one skid being 10, there were no particularly strong performances from the girls. It was Brigitte on 5 and Alice on 4 who went though. Terri got 3 a Bianca a measly 2.

No doubt experts in the way of the skidmark, the boys showed a bit more skill. Nobbi in particular got a perfect 10 on his first skid (they did all get one practice run however). Also of note during this round was a noble attempt by co-host Fitzy to breach FNL’s PG rating – “god, he went down quicker than a Van Halen groupie!” After both skids it was Nobbi on 14 and Rory on 11 who advanced. Cherry got 6, Ben 5 and Travis 2.

Second-chance Round: Kicking competition

Housemates are spun around ten times, and then within three seconds must kick a bass drum into a giant target on the ground, aiming of course for the bullseye (5 points). One attempt each, and the two with the highest score are back in the games.

Cherry is first. He staggers right off, but lands a good kick on the drum. Unfortunately it only gets one point. Ben next. He has trouble getting in position to kick the drum, but his kick gets him two points.

Trav next. He prances straight towards the drum and kicks it into the 4 point area! Everyone cheers. Bianca next. One of the boys: “Watch out for the boom-boom!” She barely gets out of the spinner, and then staggers and falls flat on her arse as everyone giggles. No score. Terri next. Brigitte: “She looks funny!”. She makes a solid run for the drum and gets it into the three point zone.

Travis and Terri are back in the games!

Round 2: Iron Maiden

This is a team obstacle course. On the buzzer, one Housemate, dressed as a giant iron, pushes another on an ironing board, weaving in and out of several large weights. Then, reaching the third Housemate (the ‘maid’), the original pusher also hops on top of the ironing board and both are pushed to the finishing line, as the third collects several pieces of washing from a clothes line along the way. Best time wins.

First is Nobbi, Alice, and Terri. Terri is on the board, Alice is the first pusher, and Nobbi is the second. Going around the obstacles, they miss a weight. They reach Nobbi at the halfway mark, and Alice has trouble getting on top of Terri on the board. The Ninjas help hold it steady. Eventually, they’re on their way and Nobbi pushes them down the rest of the course (which is just a straight). They’re a bit uncoordinated grabbing the clothes (which have to be placed in a basket Terri’s holding), but eventually cross the finish line. BB tells them they got 1:30. However, as they hit a heavy metal, and threw a bra in the basket after crossing the finishing line, they’ve had 10 seconds added. That’s 1:40.

The second team is Brigitte (on the board), Travis (first pusher), and Rory (second pusher). Brigitte calls out steering instructions to Travis, who manoeuvres around the irons quite well. They reach Rory, who assists Travis in mounting Brigitte (heh). Rory is much more coordinated in the second half than Nobbi was, quickly running and grabbing all the clothes before pushing his fellow HMs down the straight. They got 1.10! They’re through!

Second-chance Round: Pin the Tongue on Gene Simmons

The three members of the losing team will be be blindfolded and spun around before placing a big tongue on an even bigger Gene Simmons poster. Closest HM goes through.

Nobbi put the tongue roughly on Gene’s ear. Alice next. She walks forward very tentatively, feeling the edges of the picture. Consequently she almost gets it spot on. Terri last. She follows Alice’ example, but still loses her way a bit, feeling all over a cameraman and a ninja’s face. She eventually finds her way back and places the tongue only inches from Alice’s. A ninja has to measure it, but Terri wins!

Round 3: The Air Guitar Championships

Each HM will have 30 seconds to perform an air guitar song. They wll be judged by air guitar ‘professional’ Rath Mackenzie. All four HMs score highly, with a particular comment from Rath about Terri’s tongue work. In the end Rory gets 7/10, Brigitte 9/10, Travis 10/10 (despite failing to actually hold a guitar for most of his go), and Terri 8/10.

Travis and Brigitte are through to the final.

Final: Smash ‘n’ Grab

Hanging in the arena are a number of boxes (five for each HM), each of which contain a key. Once all keys are collected, they must use them to open a door – only one key will work in the lock. The first Housemate to get through their door and don the ‘backstage pass’ is the winner.

Much of the race is close, but Brigitte seems to have that extra bit of determination. She hurriedly tries her keys and is through the door! Brigitte wins the Games!

In the Diary Room, Brigitte is told that her mystery prize is a private screening of her favourite movie, ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’. Without hesitation, she chooses Alice, Terri, and Travis to accompany her.

Next week: Spy night!

For up-to-the-minute FNL updates each week, head to our Fan Diary!

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Great expectations… greater disappointment?

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Cast our minds back a couple of weeks and everyone seemed to have high hopes for the series.

The promo campaign was great, the signs of change were there and from their initial intros, the housemates seemed to be just what the show needed. Two weeks later though and we’re already dissecting what went wrong.

The daily shows are just dull – partly due to the housemates leaving their back stories and baggage at the doors, but mainly due to complete lack of structure. The housemates aren’t given the opportunity to shine, perhaps with the exception of the weekly “family dinner”, while the lack of any real task means content is thin on the ground. Cleaning is not entertaining – especially when the task is minus any of the humour required to make it work.

But now – the major moan – axing nominations. The new system removes the core element from the show, more important than evictions or the public vote – it’s what the housemates really think of each other.

How a housemate nominates reveals alot about their character – whether they are spineless, manipulative, game-players or hold a grudge. Equally as important is how a housemate reacts to being nominated – that can often determine their fate, and similarly, a housemate being cocky about not being nominated can see them getting evicted sooner rather than later too.

However, giving this power to the viewers has now removed the key component of the show, and the structure to the daily shows too. Indeed now it’s just a case of voting for your favourite with those at the bottom facing elimination it’s just like every other reality show around – Big Brother has well and truly lost it’s unique selling point.

But, this being Big Brother of course they’ve screwed it up even further with the most ridiculous FNL twists ever. An over complicated affairs sees a housemate saved, 4th from bottom nominated and the FNL winner have four points to evict and two to save. The other HMs will vote with one and two points to evict.

It’s over complicated to say the least – and though I’m not a fan of viewers nominating, HMs evicting, keeping it simpler would give it a much greater chance of succeeding. Just let the FNL winner save one of the bottom three and then the other HMs vote out one of the other two. That’s it – simple!
Talking of voting though, the real scandal this week has been the “webmates”. Voted in by Australia, voted out by Terri two days later – the biggest insult to viewers yet. And this week they’ve barely featured in the daily show at all – indeed on Tuesday and Thursday they were nothing more than non-speaking extras.

And then we reach the end of the week with Nathan reminding BB he’s in the house by inconveniently winning FNL. Big Brother of course though continues to deny his existence and finds a reason to give the prize to Travis instead. The worst thing is we all know if Terri had won there is no way BB would have taken away her HoH powers.

Anyway, I’ve lasted two weeks and as usual by now it’s only key episodes I’ll be interested in. I think the fact BBUK is about to return influences that slightly too, but so far BB08 is dangerously close to becoming even worse than the Noble era – especially if producers continue to make up the rules as they go along.

As always, BBBA members can add their views on the Userblogs.

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Day 12 FNL

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BB came out swinging on “Hip Hop Night” with an announcement that the winner of the games each week would win Head Of Household status, advance notice of the bottom three and dinner for two in the all-new strategy room.

Before the games got underway though, Fitzy had to apologise to Rima for his off-colour jokes last week and the rest of us had to check out the ninjas in their converse sneakers.

Onto the games and BB announces Alice has a bye into round two while in round one Terri (representing Old Skool) and Corey (representing New Skool) would be team captains. Terri selects her team as Rory, Nobbi, Natan, Renee, Bianca and Travis while Corey picked Saxon, Dave, Ben, Rebecca, Bridette and was left with Dixie.

Round one turns out to be the Battle Of The Mics. Terri’s team are dressed up as fifty-cent pieces – Corey’s team as M&Ms. They’re required to dance, with enthusiasm, around a circle until the music stops, then grab a microphone. The housemate who wins takes their whole team through to the second round. Team captains Coery and Terri are knocked out early and the number of M&Ms to fifty-cent pieces remains fairly constant right down to the final in which Nathan just beats out Ben to win it for the fifty-cent pieces.

Round two and Alison’s back. BB tells them to split themselves into two teams and nominate captains. It’s obvious Nobbi and Rory are heartbroken when they can’t team together but the teams turn out to be Alice, Travis and Terri led by Rory vs Nobbi, Renee and Bianca led by Nathan.

The second round is the Big Booty Can – an obstacle course made more difficult by the housemates having giant asses strapped onto themselves and being joined at the hip by lengths of rope. Nathan’s team completes the course in 1:39.

Despite the fact that nothing needs to be reset for the second team to compete, we take time out to catch up with Nigel the Ninja. Apparently he now needs a job so he tries his hand at a DJ gig and fails. When we finally get back to the arena, Rory’s team smashes the time of Nathan’s, completing the course in 1:23. However Big Brother tells the loosing team that the night is not over for them.

The four eliminated housemates from round two compete in the Busta Rhyme bonus round by rapping along with BB. Each housemate has to follow a line given by BB with a line of their own which is topical and rhymes. Bianca does very well by completing “Breakdancing requires you to move your feet” with “But I’m too short so I sit on my seat” and completing “As I entered the house I had a plan” with “To find myself a really hot man”. Nathan doesn’t do well on his first rhyme but redeems himself in the second one by completing “Being a rap star brings money and fame” with “If I win this round it will be my claim”.

BB again tells the housemates to split themselves into to teams. Rory quickly grabs Bianca and Alice leaving Nathan, Travis and Terri to team up.

The third game is Hip Hop Bunnies. Housemates are dressed as rabbits and have 2:30 to collect as much “carrot juice” as they can. The carrot juice is actually water pouring out of a shower head and in addition to the ridiculous costumes the housemates are also hindered by having to stand on a giant rotating record.

Rory’s team competes first and does fairly poorly, filling their container less than half-way. Rory has a small temper tantrum at the end of their leg. After being the only real contributor to his team’s effort he throws his cup in anger. Bree makes a comment to the effect of ‘It serves him right for picking the hot girls’. Despite a dismal (yet hilarious) effort from Terri her team wins the round, easily collecting more carrot juice than Rory’s team.

BB then tells the eliminated housemates they must choose one of the final three (Terri, Travis or Nathan) to kick out of the final. Predictably, and to a loud chorus of boo’s from the audience, they choose Terri leaving Travis and Nathan as the finalists.

In the final round Travis and Nathan have one minute to thow as many “Boyz” into “Da Hood” as possible. The “Boyz” are actually soccer balls and “Da Hood” is the engine conduit of a car. In their allotted minute Travis only manages to get three in while Nathan gets eleven and easily wins the night.

Big Brother calls Nathan to the Diary Room and presents him with his Head Of Household armband then tells him that, since he is excluded from the voting process this week, the nominations twist part of this prize will be given to the runner up instead.

Big Brother calls Travis to the Diary Room and informs Travis that he’s won the power to save one person from the hot list, he will be voting with double points on Sunday night and he’s also won dinner for two in the Strategy Room. He then asks Travis who he wants to take to the Strategy Room and Travis chooses Renee.

Big Brother minces his words and Travis leaves the diary room mistakenly believing that Nathan is also invited to the Strategy Room – a belief which he shares with his other housemates. Big Brother does not correct him, but informs Travis and Renee (only) that the Strategy Room is open. As the show ends both housemates and viewers are left very confused as to whether Nathan will be included.

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Day 5 FNL

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The fourth season of FNL kicked off with an “Out Of This World” theme. Starting the theme of predictibility nice and early this season, Mike Goldman opened the show with the exact same joke he make on 2007’s FNL premiere, saying they’ve been gone 9 months and asking if Bree’s had a baby. She hasn’t. A bit more about the hosts private lives. The boys give Bree crap about dating Bodie. Congratulations to Fitzy on his wedding.

As the action starts the housemates show up in the yard in green tights and silver skirts. BB tells each housemate they each have to sit on a slime-filled balloon with the last to pop their balloon out of the games before it even starts. After all the HMs burst their balloons (Rima loses), BB tells them he was just joking and hands out towels for them “to dry Uranus”. BB also announces that this year there will be only one prize for winning FNL – $20,000 cash.

We’re then introduced to the first of a cavalcade of stupid new FNL characters. Fitzy’s new character is introduced as Bryce Fitzberg, a former US Navy Seal turned private eye who predicts that Saxon will win because of his inside knowledge of the alien world. Bree asks what happened to Madam Fitzy to which Fitzy replies “She died… of rabies”

Back in the arena the first game is standing on a platform which slowly moves from horizontal to vertical. The blokes are up first and early losers are Nobbi, who took out Ben on his way out. In the end it was a photo finish with Saxon winning by a fraction of a second. When it comes to the girl’s turn Rima was first to slide down the wall while Renee and Alice held out for an impressive spell before Alice finally emerges as the winner.

As the winners, Alice and Saxon get to choose the teams for round 2 with an alternate pick. Alice selects Travis (who exclaims “Picked first? This is so not like school!”), Rebecca, Rory, Dixie and finally Bianca. Saxon chose Nobbi, Renee, Ben, David and was left with Brigitte. Rima wasn’t included in the selections due to a toe injury in round 1.

The second round is “Space Invaders” which requires one team to hop along an obstacle course one-by-one holding a giant star while the other team operate rows of “space junk” to knock the players down. Alice’s team goes first and make a good run of it. Watching Bianca hopping really makes you understand why she calls her breasts a curse. Alice’s team complete the course in 2:30. Between heats, another of FNL’s ridiculous new characters is revealed. This time it’s Nigel the Ninja.

Saxon’s team picks up the usual second team advantage and completes the course in 1:18, ending the game for the opposing team. BB tells Saxon’s team to split into 2 evenly-weighted teams and Brigitte quickly grabs Nobbi and Saxon, leaving David, Renee and Ben to team up against them.

The third game is Alien v Predator. The first team (the Aliens) are in individual foam suits and have to steal a ‘funky dreadlock’ from the second team who are all bundled together in one big foam suit (The Predator). First to compete are David, Renee and Ben who manage to flog all the dreadlocks in 0:55. Despite Predator being able to hold Saxon off for a little while Brigitte, Nobbi and Saxon come through with the hair in 0:50.

In true FNL form it’s then time for a Second Chance Round with all the eliminated housemates racing along a slippery tarp on their butts. Alice is a clear winner and earns her way back into the games. BB again says he needs two equally weighted teams and Saxon jumps on Alice leaving Nobby to pair up with Brigitte.

To fill time we’re introduced to yet another stupid FNL character, Jim Shorts, who’s played my Mike Goldman and reads us the news from the week in an annoying voice.

Round four involves one housemate pedalling a spaceship along a tight-rope while their partner clings onto the bottom and grabs balloons they pass along the way. Things go pear-shaped quickly when Saxon gets a bit too turned on by the space ship idea and speeds off along the tight-rope and tips the whole contraption over confusing the hosts, the ninjas and Big Brother in the process. Eventually they cut to a break and come back to announce Saxon and Alice have been disqualified. BB announces this by saying “Saxon, as the pilot your job was only to drive the space ship. You collected orbiting planets and stars. You also managed to break Big Brother’s aircraft”.

While setting up for the final game they play a game on stage which they dub “Are You Smarter Than A Bree Amer?” They pull some dude called Phil the Council Worker out of the crowd and get him to compete against Bree in a trivia game on the topic of astronomy. When the guy easily wins it’s revealed he is in fact a space enthusiast in his spare time.

At this point the stupid characters reach a disgusting level with a parody of a soap opera called “The Bald and the Beautiful… Oh and Fitzy”.

The final round was a barefoot race on an obstacle course. Brigitte and Nobbi were required to collect slime from one end of a tarp and transport it to the other end. In three minutes Brigitte managed to collect 2.45Kg but was beaten by Nobbi who collected 4.15Kg. After Nobbi is awarded with his trophy, Big Brother wishes David a happy birthday and announces a party is waiting in the BB house.

The FNL hosts reveal that Nobbi broke the rules earlier today by dressing up as David and entering the house. BB calls Saxon to the Diary Room and asks him to deliver Nobbi’s prize to him – $20,000 Zimbabwe dollars. Nobbi is called to the Kombi Diary Room and is informed by BB that the current exchange rate from Zimbabwe dollars to Australian dollars is 20,000:1 and encourages him to spend his money wisely.

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World First: Some twists BB08 could make their own

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OK, while of course something completely original would be preferred, despite what some people think I don’t have a problem with them nicking (good) ideas from other Big Brother’s. The problem I’ve had is they almost always screw them up.

So a few ideas – some which I think might work, some which wouldn’t – and one in particular I’d really not like to see, but it’s the sort of thing BB Aus would probably do…

So we’ll begin with that one then…

The Family
Italy put a family in the house this year – a 50-something mum and dad and their three sons. The three sons were automatically up for eviction during the first week, though I’m not sure whether they had to keep their family connections a secret or whether they were up front with it.

Now, obviously we all know in the last couple of years Australia have loved their relationship twists and this is probably the ultimate one. I think it needs to be strangers this year, but if done, I think they need to be upfront in putting the family in and see how the HMs react to that family, rather than the whole secret relationship twist yet again.

Soulmates
BBUSA’s latest twist sees the houseguests paired with their “perfect soulmate” and then play the game as pairs – being nominated together and evicted together. Throw in one pair of exes, plus one secret couple split into two different partnerships, and leave to boil. The jury’s still out on whether the twist was a success – IMO it’s been a bit of a slow burner, but an interesting twist.

I think if BB Aus did this they’d probably only do it up until the first eviction – but really to get the benefit out of the twist it needs to run a little longer.

Celebrity Hijack
I mentioning this more for the sake of mentioning it than anything else, but the premise is a series of celebrities step into the Big Brother role, talking to the housemates, chatting to them in the diary room and setting tasks.

This was an experimental series in the UK with a new celeb every day for about three weeks – and as an experiment it kind of works. However, as a full 100-day series I don’t think it would, and I think it strays too far from the “no outside contact” principle to be includes as just a one-week twist.

Secret Story
From France last year, each housemate goes into the house with a secret and the mission to identify each others secrets. Each secret is worth cash and when you think you know a secret, you can confront them and if correct, win their cash.

Secrets included being triplets, a married couple, a transexual, the son of a celebrity, an “insider”, being in contact with aliens and having OCD.


.. and now two classic formats which often crop up for discussion prior to each series.

Head of Household

OK, most are probably familiar with the US format where each week the “houseguests” compete for the role of Head of Household, aka the HoH. The HoH then nominates two people for eviction.

The houseguests then compete again for the Power of Veto, which enables the winner to save a nominee (if they choose) and force the HoH to nominate a replacement. Then at the end of the week the other houseguests vote for which nominee should be evicted and the process starts again.

When two remain, the last seven evictees vote for the winner.

Now, some people view the FNL twist as a nod to the format but IMO it’s a poor mans HoH, though last year the prize was effectively the Veto. However, it was a mistake IMO not to allow the winner to leave the nominees unchanged – which could cause just as many problems as them saving a nominee. Giving the nominees a week to think about the changes the FNL winner had made also would surely have been better than telling them just minutes prior to the eviction.

Back to HoH though and if Australia adapted it I’m sure it would be more along the Brazilian lines, keeping the public vote. Basically the HoH chooses the one nominee, with the other housemates voting for a second before they go head to head in the public vote, though I suspect if Australia did it they’d keep the three nominees so probably have the HoH choose one and the other HMs choose a further two.

and finally:
Big Brother: The Battle

If BB08 were to borrow any twist this is the one I really think could work for Australia. The concept is pretty simple – divide the house into “rich” and “poor”, with all the luxuries such as the kitchen, bathroom, pool, gym etc. – and the week’s food budget, available to the “rich” housemates, while the “poor” housemates have to live in more basic surroundings with an outside toilet, outdoor showers and an outdoor stove – with just the bland basics to live on.

It’s a very visual twist which can be adapted in many ways. Who lives where would be a great new focus for the challenges on Friday Night Live – either with big team challenges or a series of head to head battles, while further challenges during the week could give individual housemates the chance to swap sides.

Nominations too can remain as they are, or be split so housemates vote separately in the “rich house” and the “poor house”, with one or two from each side going up for eviction.

It’s a twist which BB Aus has never really explored – it was used for a week in BB04, but that missed the whole idea. It’s when people have been stuck on the poor side for two or three weeks the format really develops – knowing it’ll all be over in a few days doesn’t have the same effect.

However, it’s also an example of how Australia should be adopting twists and making them into something new, as they did with the two houses in BB03 – which basically saw each begin as a “poor house” and then merge into a “rich house”.

So what do you think – would you like BB Aus to try any of these ideas this year, or is there something else from elsewhere you think could work?

Is it a good time to do something that might be new to Australia, but has been tried and tested elsewhere, or for the revamp to work does any twist have to be truly original, not just for the benefit of international fans like myself, but for the Australian audience as a whole?

Share your views in the BBBA forum.

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